I'm in high school and I like this girl that is a grade ahead of me. I'm a sophomore and she is a junior. We don't know each other that well and I barley say hi to her.

I had feelings of love for her for three years now but I think she does not like me that way. also she may have a boyfriend. I think I'll never be happy in my life again. Love hurts.

Personally I wouldn't advise falling in love with an escort. I mean, it's guaranteed not to be reciprocated which is ok if it's just sex but J. was different.

I went for sex but ended up just wanting the spoon position. I found I was thinking about her all the time, turned into a text pest and it got too much for J. "I can't treat this as a biz transaction there's too much emotional attachment". And then what's worse is thinking about 'the other guys' who do just want sex and no involvement, the reverse of me.

A double whammy of jealousy plus longing and all I wanted was to do things like go to the zoo. You could never tell what was real and what was fake, maybe she was just really good at her job.

I really liked her. I didn't care about the sex, and when I saw her walking towards me and smiling my insides felt like a melting marshmallow. So there we are - unrequited.

Don't have a clue where to start. I will just say that I am in love with someone else and have a significant other, too.

I was perfectly happy, had no idea what was about to happen. One day I realized I was head over heels for another. I let it go for months. Finally, I gave in (to the feeling only.)

After several more months, I told my URL and he told me he did not feel the same. He is not involved with anyone. He e-mails and calls me constantly often saying very provocative, erotic things. To a friend you say those things?

You brush your "friend's" hair out of her face and e-mail her at 4 a.m.? If he doesn't hear from me, I hear the frustration in his e-mails.

So he is my URL and I am just his "friend?"

I am so confused.

Having just ended my relationship with a woman who was a friend/exlover for over 30 years, may I warn everyone here on something? That we all need to be on the lookout for those we desperately and secretly love but can never have. The woman I have had a unrequited love for all this time has turned out to be a sociopath! Sociopaths don't have to be murderers to kill your soul. They themselves have no love emotions. They may pull you into their love nest only to toss you aside when the urge presented itself. There is a reason why I never felt love back from this woman I was obsessed with for this long. Because she was incapable of giving love back because she doesn't feel love. At all! Sociopaths have a chemical imbalance in the brain and they don't even think the way the rest of us do! Is all I am saying is to be very careful out there and check these love intersts out. Don't be gullable and fall for these people or you will be a slave to their manipulation and deceit.Do yourself a favor. Do a googlesearch on the words "sociopath definition". It may save you a heap of heartache later!

I am a 16 year old high school boy. I love my best friend, who is a girl. She does not love me. I am writing in simple broken sentences, because I have already spent my intelligent and emotive effort on A+ essays. Long story short, it is the worst feeling on planet earth, and I want to die. I should warn people to never become close friends with the opposite sex. Men and women can't be just friends. It is impossible. When Harry Met Sally for you right there. Eat that crap people, because it's the freaking truth.

I'm new to this site too, and found it while looking for stuff about unrequited love and fellow sufferers who are in the beautiful melancholy of this feeling.

The man I'm in love with is five years my senior, one of the senior members of a society I'm in at university, and completely oblivious to my feelings.

I know I'm biased (as I'm sure we all are) but he is my perfect man. he has his flaws, but everything about him is perfect for me and we compliment each other well. We make each other laugh and have similar likes, tastes and views. Unfortunately, he doesn't see me that way at all, and I'm fairly certain he has feelings for my best friend at university.

I'm unsure how she feels, but my intuition tells me she feels the same.

Oh well. I'll keep it all hidden, and wish them the best if they should get together. She's my friend, and even though he's amazing, her happiness means more to me than him.

Eight years ago, I met who'd come to be my own definition to this so personal, unrequited feeling.

While still in high school, we developed an average friendship, sort-of dead-end relationship and continued likewise throughout the moment he graduated and went off to college.

We'd get together after school, sometimes during school, but he was somewhat oblivious to the rest of my life. Now, I'm gay, and he, I believe, is not.

I'm firm on the belief that an unrequited affection is meant as that, just unrequited! Therefore, I canceled myself out, my feelings, my world, just for him. We continued as friends without that other "me," who'd bled a little more within, every time I saw him embrace his high school sweetheart.

Late at night, I'd fantasize about a world in which we'd share the same feelings. During the day, I'd fantasize about a place in which we could be together. This kind of pain is indescribable. You age so quickly within, and there's not a single day you wake that you're not wishing to go back to sleep, just to dream with him again, but forever.

Now, he's finishing graduate school and we got together again two months ago, for coffee. He, however, found out about my sexual orientation. We talked a little about that, and he ended our conversation with the question I'd since dreaded; "I'm not gay, but did you ever feel anything for me?," he asked. Immediately, I felt that classic ball in my throat, somewhat like choking, my eyes became watery. I felt I was about to let it all out, but I didn't! The hurting was intense, maybe not so much for the fact that he asked if I ever felt something for him, but his assuring comment that he was not gay. I respect that, but it hurt just the same.

A week ago, we had another coffee, and he told me he's getting married next year, in August. He then proceeded to beg me to become his best man. He said we’d known each other since high school; we’d grown quite close, unlike with any of his other friends, that it would mean the world to him if I were to accept his proposition. I held my aching feelings deep in me, and smiled, as I always have. "Sure, I wouldn’t miss that for the world," I replied.

I love him, I’ll always love him, and I hate myself for feeling this way. Unsatisfied with my life, I feel I've been cheated! Why must the story always end this way?

But my rule still stands: you can't express how you feel because it's not their fault. An unrequited love is a platonic affection that cannot be restrained, but cannot be revealed either.

I have to live with that feeling; it's part of me. My job is to die with it, and be to him what I've always been: his best friend.

I have been married to my wife for 14 years and up to now would never ever think of "going Out On her". She has bi-polar disorder and up to this year I have been able to tolerate her outbursts. But my father passed away in may and the stress form caring for him and his death has worn me down emotionally. I cannot tolerate my wife's outbursts any longer.

When she "goes off," so do i, and I totally lose my temper. Anyway, there is the woman I loved before her. The woman is 15 years my senior and 67 years old now. She recently told me that she thought she may die soon because of health problems. I told her then that I had these feelings of love for her that I had long put behind me and repressed, but that now I could not let her leave this earthly plane without telling her that I loved her, that I always had and always will.

Amazingly enough, she told me that she had love feelings for me. We have been corresponding via the phone and the e-mail now for two months, getting to know each other again. This woman is with another woman but they have not had a sexual relationship for over 10 years.

We had discussed leaving our partners and neither of us wants to lose the person we share our lives with. I truly feel in my soul that this woman loves me but that she really doesn't want to love me just one on one.

So she suggested I move with my wife near her and that we would have a affair on the side. Sex is not her strong suit and is something that may never happen. But the romance was what we both crave.

I know this could end my marriage and I am just torn about both the women in my life. I love them both. My wife knows about these feelings and of course feels threatened. But she is willing to maintain a friendship with her for my sake.

I also have loved this woman for 30 years as a friend and will not give her friendship up no matter what. What to do?

After seven years of no contact, me and my first college boyfriend found each other online. we've been talking for the last few months. he has since moved out of state and i'm finishing school.

we originally planned on having a long distance relationship but i weaved in and out of that idea because i was scared and unsure. now i'm at a point where i am confident this is what i want and he is the person i can't live without. however, now he doesn't trust my feelings and has decided to pursue someone else instead. it's like when i couldn't make up my mind, he wanted me. but when i was ready to give him all myself he turned his back and ran away.

he won't even talk to me now. i don't know what to do. i'm devastated beyond words. all i'm hoping is that he realizes what he told me the other day: that we really do belong together.

I am a gay college student who fell hopelessly in love with an older student in his building. I think about him all the time. I gave him a Christmas present, coupled with a note that explained how I felt for him. It was anonymous, but he knew it was me.

We finally met up three days later and he told me flat out that while flattered, he was not interested. He is also a Resident Assistant in my building and so dating him would be illegal. Not that that would have deterred him if he was attracted to me.

At the time, it felt surreal to me. When I came back to my dorm, I collapsed to the floor and began to consider committing suicide through overdose. But I stopped myself, because it is the selfish way out and it would only destroy the lives of those close to me and make him feel guilty for the rest of his life.

This pain is unbearable, but I have to live on, like the rest of you right?

I went chasing after the "why I am still in love with this one" girl I knew six years ago. We used to go out and we're good friends. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and she loved me before.

But I had to move away and I never got to see her again, I never got to finish the relationship with her and it has been bothering me for six years. I haven't had any contact with her up until now (when I found her on a social networking website) and it kills me when I look at her picture.

We chatted for a couple days and got to know each other and catch up. I didn't tell her how I felt because I didn't want to scare her away from me, so I didn't tell her.

One day she asked me how I felt about her and she knew what I was going to say. I tried to change subject and she kept forcing me back on the topic. So finally I gave in and told her how I felt and what I had been feeling for the past six years and what I think of her. She started crying and I was on the brink.

She left after that and I messaged her s couple times with long messages telling her how I felt about her and one day I got an angry letter from her boyfriend (they broke up recently).

Now I am at a standstill because I don't know if I should keep trying with this girl and it's hurting me when I do and it causes me a lot of grief. She knows how I feel but I don't know what she feels about me and she hasn't told me yet. I don't think I could ask her but I will soon.

I still hang on to the love because of what we have been through. Example: One day we were supposed to be out on a date but I was late and she was getting beat up at the place we where supposed to meet. I fought off the two guys and almost killed one and she pulled me away. We were both crying and I took her home and explained what happened to her father.

Now my feelings are mixed and I don't know whether or not I should quit and move on or try to be with her again. But we are separated by distance too so I think a relationship isn't possible yet.

I sympathize and empathize with everyone who has written the details of the emotions they are going through in this very sad situation.

I am a gay man who has been in a 35 year relationship and have been totally faithful, but it has turned into a sexless one although we are always going to be great friends.

We have drifted apart emotionally and I am feeling a bit guilty since I have met someone quite by accident working at a local hardware store that I frequent. I went from wanting to get to know him better and wanting to be best friends which we have become.

We have had many talks and he has been totally honest with me that he does not want a relationship after having many failed ones, mostly because his partners have been unfaithful in the past.

If I could give my spin on things, and I hope it helps others reading this, my new love interest knows I am in love with him, and I don't expect him to feel the same, but I don't think he has ever been in love with anyone who truly was in love with him, or they would never have let him go.

He is my soulmate and we have everything in common. We have never had sex, but I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know gay people are perceived as being over sexed, but it's a little scary for me that I have totally fallen in love with someone without taking it to the next level since it was not appropriate, especially that I am in a monogamous relationship.

Don't we all deserve happiness? I always think of the other person's feelings, but I have to think of mine also. I will continue to be supportive and the best I can be, and maybe he will welcome me into his life and be his life partner. Love to all of you.

I met him four years ago and at first, it was a love-hate relationship. We were enemies and acted like we couldn't stand each other, but on the inside I know I was in love with him, even though I didn't really know it at the time.

Soon enough a rumor went around that he liked me, and I realized how I really felt about him, about a week before we separated and didn't see each other for two years. I was going out with someone else who I'd met around the same time, but I thought of him constantly, wondering where he was now, how he'd really felt about me, etc.

A little over a year ago, I found out that the guy I had been going out with had been cheating on me for quite some time. I broke up with him because I knew it wasn't going to work out, but I was depressed for some time afterward. It was then that he came to the rescue.

I had acquired his e-mail address from a mutual friend and emailed him in desperation one day, lamenting my bad luck. I'm still not quite sure why I chose to e-mail him instead of anyone else, since I hadn't contacted him in any way for two years, but I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't sent that e-mail.

Over the course of the year since then, we've become best friends, brought each other back from depression and the brink of suicide multiple times, and mutually depend on each other for everything. It would be perfect if there weren't one problem: I'm madly in love with him. And I wouldn't be afraid to tell him so, if he weren't madly in love with somebody else.

I think this post has gone on long enough, so I'll stop now. The main message I wanted to get across is that I know this pain personally and doubt that I'll ever be able to get over it, even if I do get over him.

Unrequited love is not true love. Love needs to be nourished, how else will it survive and even grow? So get over it! Move on! Why let yourself be tortured by wallowing in self pity?

Even if you never find someone as perfect a match for you as the love in question, break the chains of despair. I know it's not easy but do not be fooled by love's evil twin.

I too, am new to this site. I am hopelessly in love with a married man that considers me only a good friend.

We met at work and at first, I thought he was just a good guy. But as I learned more about him over the next three years - his life story, his values, his many gifts I grew to trust, respect and desire him more than any other man in my entire life.

I could never tell him how I feel as he is completely committed to his wife and son. Here's the really tough part: His wife is a complete nightmare. He doesn't complain about her, but I've repeatedly witnessed her treating him shabbily, disrespecting him, and expecting him wait on her hand and foot. And he does just that - all in silence. (It's not just me that thinks this - an entire network of people have mentioned this to me without my soliciting their impressions!)

I think her telling him he's a piece of crap for 13 years has ended up in his actually believing her. It is soul-crunching enough to not be with the person you're meant to be with, but to have them so unhappily coupled and too loyal to see how they could break out of it is almost too much to bear.

He deserves to be treated well - if not by me, then at least by someone else. I don't know if there'll ever come a day when I'm free of this.

Everyone has had this happen one time or another, and it seems to happen to me every time I like someone. Why is love so uncontrollable? I've liked this person for over four years, and yet I just know he will never love me. I like him so much it hurts. </3

I am in love with a man who is 34 years younger than me, and he is a student! He is of legal age but I think of him as a man. i think of him all day, i wait to talk to him on computer every night, i hide my relationship with him from everyone. it is wrong, but i cant stop thinking about him. this is crazy!! My heart palpitates when i see him, I fantasize about him, i dream about him!

I too suffer the sickness, and that is all I have to say.

I stumbled across this website by accident. I too am in a relationship of unrequited love. I reconnected with a man after a 30 year absence. He and I were very close but married to other people 30 years ago. When we reconnected we were once again both in our second marriages, but mine was on the verge of divorce (which is now final). He stated that his wife was not interested in a relationship with him, but his little ones were his life. Things escalated between us and we got together (oh I have to mention we live about 800 miles are so apart). I fell deeply in love, and he loves me too there is no doubt, but I believe his guilt and a bad divorce keeps him from going any further, but we continue to be close, without a physical relationship (his choice, not mine). It hurts like hell because I probably won't ever see him again, but we continue to talk and correspond, and I don't want to lose him altogether. He's the one who used the term unrequited love, and that's what made me curious about what that meant. Affairs of the heart, joyful and painful, and how do you move forward? Do you have to cut all ties to find a healthy lovely relationship, or can you keep your unrequited love and hope the feelings lessen? I just don't want to feel bad anymore, I keep telling myself time will heal.

Afraid I'll never feel this way again.

Funny how things go, me posting like this. I have continued to have dreams of my unrequited love periodically over the years and the one last night has bothered me all of today. That's how I ended up on this site (first time). We were each others' "first love". It was a case of: either the person is wrong or the timing is. Ours was timing and youth (ages 22 him, 19 me). He married someone else not long after our break-up. I went on to graduate school and dated many people along the way, some even "seriously". I've been married (once) now for 24 years and am very blessed in many ways. Yet, still I dream of him, quite out of the blue, and feel so sad for days afterward. It feels so real -like it was just yesterday. My memories are still vivid. And although we are probably happier with spouses that are more compatible with our personalities, the memory of the pain and loss is revisited with every dream. I've come to believe that these kinds of wounds never heal; they just close over. So, I have resigned myself in that my first love was truly the love of my life. I say that because it's been over 39 years and still my eyes well up when I relive the time we had together and the pain of loss when it was over. I can't help but wonder if he ever experiences anything such as what I have described. I hope not. It's not a pleasant way to live. It makes me even sadder to look at my wonderful husband after one of these dreams, knowing what demons are at war in my heart. I do empathize with all those who share this madness.

He is one of my best friends and I love him. I love him more than anything on this planet, I would die for him. And he doesn't realize or want to realize, because it is too painful for him to deal with it. He's been hurt in past relationships and he can't take more pain he says. I know that's just something he says because he doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't love me and never will. And it hurts so much I just want to curl into a ball and never get up and out again. But I know it's not worth it. I know I deserve someone who loves me. And that is the reason I keep breathing. And I guess if all I ever get is a brief friendly hug from him every once in a while, I'll have to be content with that. If all I ever get is a coldhearted "ya see ya" then I can't hate him for that. He's not doing it to be mean. He doesn't love me and it is not his fault. And that's what I hate the most. That I cannot even hate him. I can't love him and I can't hate him either. And I hate him for that!

I understand what everyone has already said. I was in love with a girl in college and we did everything toghter studying, sports, dinner etc. She went to study in Europe her junior year and I waited for her to return. When she did she told me she had completely changed and wasn't the same. We still did things together but the feeling wasn't the same. After graduation she told me on the phone that she would be too busy to go out with me anymore. She married someone else three years later. You ask how long unrequited love can last? This all happened 45 years ago but it seems like yesterday to me.

I am in a drama production and I am completely infatuated with my leading lady! It's an impossible situation because she is married, but no matter what I do there is no escape! I am so in love with her, and I feel like a creep for feeling this way.

I'm in the depths of unrequited love, and it's awful. To him I am a "best friend" but I think I'll always regret the night when I didn't let him kiss me because I was afraid. I've been through this before and I can say it is a waste of time. Go out and find someone who loves you. You deserve it. Easier said than done, I know. But it's true. I'll let you know when it works for me. I love him so much but he doesn't love me. He never will, I'll never know why. It doesn't matter how much I love him or how much I deserve him or how good we'd be together or how much I work for it. I should have kissed him, but even that probably wouldn't have mattered. You don't choose who you love. But you can choose to let go. Don't wait. Let go.

I am in love with someone who is 23 years older than me. He is the best person I have met ever. I am still in contact with him. He knows that I love him but he tries to overlook it. that is his greatness. I love him. I love him. I love him.

I was the subject of this. I am 33 year-old man and my childhood best friend fell for me and didn't it know until many years later. The feelings I felt when I learned what happened between us were something I would not wish on anyone. Even my own father dying and me being with him were not as painful as learning the truth.

I tried everything I could to fix things between me and her, but the damge was already done. I paid the price for not seeing it. Now as an adult, I cannot even talk to the woman that made me feel that someone could care for me and had the most impact on my life. I would do anything just so I could talk to her again.

At first I felt so unlucky that my love will not be reciprocated, but upon visiting this site, now I know why love chooses to hurt me.

I felt in love with my best friend for 3 years now. In fact, I told him what I really felt and how I truly loved him. He's even aware how I see him as the guy I'm interested in and not just my best friend.

However, he don't feel the same way with me and he cant return my feelings back. I can still remember the day when he said "Sorry". Though it hurts too much, I'm still happy because were still best friend and he doesn't take advantage at all.

I still have those countless nights crying and hoping. if we could meet halfway and wish he could realize.

Though it's impossible to have his love, I'm still happy that I got to see him every day and remain faithful to him as his best friend and the girl who love him so much.

I loved a guy for 2 years, but he broke my heart unconsciously. He was my dream guy, the one that makes me feel special and happy. But I guess he couldn't tell that I was in love with him because he soon got a girlfriend. He was the brother of my best friend. I knew that I had to stop these feelings for him but I couldn't control them. Every time I see him, he always leads me on, thinking that he has feelings for me too. Even though his rude insults cut me like knives, I still love him.

I was a servant to unrequited love since high school. Then I spent 10 years in college where at its end years I met someone. She had a boyfriend at that time. Both of them 13-14 years my junior. Her boyfriend was my close friend too, so I laid low. But I knew her boyfriend was cheating on her. We stayed as friends until I left to work next town and had girlfriends of my own. But I couldn't take her out of my mind. One day I texted her number where I found out that she had just broken up 2 months ago with the boyfriend she had next to my friend. We became closer, long distance. By Christmas I went back to our province and proposed to her. She is now my girlfriend for 7 months. Unrequited love maybe whimsical. Love has its own time, I think, especially if it's really for you. But I can't say my experience applies to everyone. I just hope my story helps.

I have been in love with a man for 7 years now. I have always felt that he is perfect for me. We were very close as friends and somewhere last year he just decided just like that, that he didn't want to be my friend.

It broke my heart and now, quite unexpectedly we work together. I have this constant lump in my throat and I spend much of the day trying to fight back the bits of my heart and soul that leaking out of my eyes I feel. I am constantly in pain and I can't get out of this mindset that two people who are so meant to be together have to eventually get together right?

I have tried to go on dates and it doesn't work because I feel nothing. I don't even want to love anyone else. I am so broken. Its not as if I don't love myself. I love my life and everything I have and everything I am. I am so grateful for it all. But I also feel like I cannot live without him. I'll survive, but I can't live. I am so broken... I may have been broken for 7 years. I don't know how much longer I can survive like this.... I just don't know. So unrequited love... it isn't about the person receiving it.. it is about the person that love chooses to break.

Thanks everyone for your supportive responses. For me, what has helped is the passage of time. It has been two years since the official breakup and just recently have I begun to feel a little less sad. I think I will always hold a special place in my heart for this man. He was so special to me. I am in my 50's and he is the only man I truly loved. It was hard to accept that he could not participate in a relationship. I think it took me this long to finally gain a little bit of genuine acceptance. To all of you who have gone through this, I feel for you as the pain is very real and very deep. Thanks again for all of the support.

I love how this post focus's on how the person who is being loved unrequitedly feels. The only people who would actually read an article on Unrequited love is someone who is the one unrequitedly loving someone else. Those of us like that feel terrible, lonely, depressed and worthless because the one person we love doesn't want us. How can you give advice to the one on the receiving end without helping those on the other side of the equation?

Ahhhh I have a bad case of unrequited love and it's lasted about two years! I have never met anyone more perfect for me and I don't think I ever will. Problem is he loves someone else. I'm ok with that, they are good together. But I just feel sad that there's no-one out there for me and wonder if i could ever be somebody's first choice.

I had a long-term relationship for six years. We were in our late 40's and early 50's. The ex-wife and children were against his relationship with me. His father died, who he was very close to, and suddenly, instantly, he told me he no longer felt the same about me. He brought the ex-wife back into the picture but she ended up moving away. I guess he still wanted the past after his father passed. He was the love of my life and it's been a tremendous struggle to get back on my feet. I miss what we shared yet I know he will never love me again. I don't even know what I did to make him stop loving me. I was exactly the same person. Hope no one has to go through anything like this ever.

I am new to this site. I was drawn in by the article unrequited love which I am experiencing now. The object of this love has loved me, even tells me he loves me presently, but has no interest in getting together. He lives in a different state and uses that as an excuse not to see one another. It is certainly more complicated than this but I just wanted to briefly share my story. Please respond if you have anything relevant to say.