I too, am new to this site. I am hopelessly in love with a married man that considers me only a good friend.

We met at work and at first, I thought he was just a good guy. But as I learned more about him over the next three years - his life story, his values, his many gifts I grew to trust, respect and desire him more than any other man in my entire life.

I could never tell him how I feel as he is completely committed to his wife and son. Here's the really tough part: His wife is a complete nightmare. He doesn't complain about her, but I've repeatedly witnessed her treating him shabbily, disrespecting him, and expecting him wait on her hand and foot. And he does just that - all in silence. (It's not just me that thinks this - an entire network of people have mentioned this to me without my soliciting their impressions!)

I think her telling him he's a piece of crap for 13 years has ended up in his actually believing her. It is soul-crunching enough to not be with the person you're meant to be with, but to have them so unhappily coupled and too loyal to see how they could break out of it is almost too much to bear.

He deserves to be treated well - if not by me, then at least by someone else. I don't know if there'll ever come a day when I'm free of this.

Everyone has had this happen one time or another, and it seems to happen to me every time I like someone. Why is love so uncontrollable? I've liked this person for over four years, and yet I just know he will never love me. I like him so much it hurts. </3

I am in love with a man who is 34 years younger than me, and he is a student! He is of legal age but I think of him as a man. i think of him all day, i wait to talk to him on computer every night, i hide my relationship with him from everyone. it is wrong, but i cant stop thinking about him. this is crazy!! My heart palpitates when i see him, I fantasize about him, i dream about him!

I too suffer the sickness, and that is all I have to say.

I stumbled across this website by accident. I too am in a relationship of unrequited love. I reconnected with a man after a 30 year absence. He and I were very close but married to other people 30 years ago. When we reconnected we were once again both in our second marriages, but mine was on the verge of divorce (which is now final). He stated that his wife was not interested in a relationship with him, but his little ones were his life. Things escalated between us and we got together (oh I have to mention we live about 800 miles are so apart). I fell deeply in love, and he loves me too there is no doubt, but I believe his guilt and a bad divorce keeps him from going any further, but we continue to be close, without a physical relationship (his choice, not mine). It hurts like hell because I probably won't ever see him again, but we continue to talk and correspond, and I don't want to lose him altogether. He's the one who used the term unrequited love, and that's what made me curious about what that meant. Affairs of the heart, joyful and painful, and how do you move forward? Do you have to cut all ties to find a healthy lovely relationship, or can you keep your unrequited love and hope the feelings lessen? I just don't want to feel bad anymore, I keep telling myself time will heal.

Afraid I'll never feel this way again.

Funny how things go, me posting like this. I have continued to have dreams of my unrequited love periodically over the years and the one last night has bothered me all of today. That's how I ended up on this site (first time). We were each others' "first love". It was a case of: either the person is wrong or the timing is. Ours was timing and youth (ages 22 him, 19 me). He married someone else not long after our break-up. I went on to graduate school and dated many people along the way, some even "seriously". I've been married (once) now for 24 years and am very blessed in many ways. Yet, still I dream of him, quite out of the blue, and feel so sad for days afterward. It feels so real -like it was just yesterday. My memories are still vivid. And although we are probably happier with spouses that are more compatible with our personalities, the memory of the pain and loss is revisited with every dream. I've come to believe that these kinds of wounds never heal; they just close over. So, I have resigned myself in that my first love was truly the love of my life. I say that because it's been over 39 years and still my eyes well up when I relive the time we had together and the pain of loss when it was over. I can't help but wonder if he ever experiences anything such as what I have described. I hope not. It's not a pleasant way to live. It makes me even sadder to look at my wonderful husband after one of these dreams, knowing what demons are at war in my heart. I do empathize with all those who share this madness.

He is one of my best friends and I love him. I love him more than anything on this planet, I would die for him. And he doesn't realize or want to realize, because it is too painful for him to deal with it. He's been hurt in past relationships and he can't take more pain he says. I know that's just something he says because he doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't love me and never will. And it hurts so much I just want to curl into a ball and never get up and out again. But I know it's not worth it. I know I deserve someone who loves me. And that is the reason I keep breathing. And I guess if all I ever get is a brief friendly hug from him every once in a while, I'll have to be content with that. If all I ever get is a coldhearted "ya see ya" then I can't hate him for that. He's not doing it to be mean. He doesn't love me and it is not his fault. And that's what I hate the most. That I cannot even hate him. I can't love him and I can't hate him either. And I hate him for that!

I understand what everyone has already said. I was in love with a girl in college and we did everything toghter studying, sports, dinner etc. She went to study in Europe her junior year and I waited for her to return. When she did she told me she had completely changed and wasn't the same. We still did things together but the feeling wasn't the same. After graduation she told me on the phone that she would be too busy to go out with me anymore. She married someone else three years later. You ask how long unrequited love can last? This all happened 45 years ago but it seems like yesterday to me.

I am in a drama production and I am completely infatuated with my leading lady! It's an impossible situation because she is married, but no matter what I do there is no escape! I am so in love with her, and I feel like a creep for feeling this way.

I'm in the depths of unrequited love, and it's awful. To him I am a "best friend" but I think I'll always regret the night when I didn't let him kiss me because I was afraid. I've been through this before and I can say it is a waste of time. Go out and find someone who loves you. You deserve it. Easier said than done, I know. But it's true. I'll let you know when it works for me. I love him so much but he doesn't love me. He never will, I'll never know why. It doesn't matter how much I love him or how much I deserve him or how good we'd be together or how much I work for it. I should have kissed him, but even that probably wouldn't have mattered. You don't choose who you love. But you can choose to let go. Don't wait. Let go.

I am in love with someone who is 23 years older than me. He is the best person I have met ever. I am still in contact with him. He knows that I love him but he tries to overlook it. that is his greatness. I love him. I love him. I love him.

I was the subject of this. I am 33 year-old man and my childhood best friend fell for me and didn't it know until many years later. The feelings I felt when I learned what happened between us were something I would not wish on anyone. Even my own father dying and me being with him were not as painful as learning the truth.

I tried everything I could to fix things between me and her, but the damge was already done. I paid the price for not seeing it. Now as an adult, I cannot even talk to the woman that made me feel that someone could care for me and had the most impact on my life. I would do anything just so I could talk to her again.

At first I felt so unlucky that my love will not be reciprocated, but upon visiting this site, now I know why love chooses to hurt me.

I felt in love with my best friend for 3 years now. In fact, I told him what I really felt and how I truly loved him. He's even aware how I see him as the guy I'm interested in and not just my best friend.

However, he don't feel the same way with me and he cant return my feelings back. I can still remember the day when he said "Sorry". Though it hurts too much, I'm still happy because were still best friend and he doesn't take advantage at all.

I still have those countless nights crying and hoping. if we could meet halfway and wish he could realize.

Though it's impossible to have his love, I'm still happy that I got to see him every day and remain faithful to him as his best friend and the girl who love him so much.

I loved a guy for 2 years, but he broke my heart unconsciously. He was my dream guy, the one that makes me feel special and happy. But I guess he couldn't tell that I was in love with him because he soon got a girlfriend. He was the brother of my best friend. I knew that I had to stop these feelings for him but I couldn't control them. Every time I see him, he always leads me on, thinking that he has feelings for me too. Even though his rude insults cut me like knives, I still love him.

I was a servant to unrequited love since high school. Then I spent 10 years in college where at its end years I met someone. She had a boyfriend at that time. Both of them 13-14 years my junior. Her boyfriend was my close friend too, so I laid low. But I knew her boyfriend was cheating on her. We stayed as friends until I left to work next town and had girlfriends of my own. But I couldn't take her out of my mind. One day I texted her number where I found out that she had just broken up 2 months ago with the boyfriend she had next to my friend. We became closer, long distance. By Christmas I went back to our province and proposed to her. She is now my girlfriend for 7 months. Unrequited love maybe whimsical. Love has its own time, I think, especially if it's really for you. But I can't say my experience applies to everyone. I just hope my story helps.

I have been in love with a man for 7 years now. I have always felt that he is perfect for me. We were very close as friends and somewhere last year he just decided just like that, that he didn't want to be my friend.

It broke my heart and now, quite unexpectedly we work together. I have this constant lump in my throat and I spend much of the day trying to fight back the bits of my heart and soul that leaking out of my eyes I feel. I am constantly in pain and I can't get out of this mindset that two people who are so meant to be together have to eventually get together right?

I have tried to go on dates and it doesn't work because I feel nothing. I don't even want to love anyone else. I am so broken. Its not as if I don't love myself. I love my life and everything I have and everything I am. I am so grateful for it all. But I also feel like I cannot live without him. I'll survive, but I can't live. I am so broken... I may have been broken for 7 years. I don't know how much longer I can survive like this.... I just don't know. So unrequited love... it isn't about the person receiving it.. it is about the person that love chooses to break.

Thanks everyone for your supportive responses. For me, what has helped is the passage of time. It has been two years since the official breakup and just recently have I begun to feel a little less sad. I think I will always hold a special place in my heart for this man. He was so special to me. I am in my 50's and he is the only man I truly loved. It was hard to accept that he could not participate in a relationship. I think it took me this long to finally gain a little bit of genuine acceptance. To all of you who have gone through this, I feel for you as the pain is very real and very deep. Thanks again for all of the support.

I love how this post focus's on how the person who is being loved unrequitedly feels. The only people who would actually read an article on Unrequited love is someone who is the one unrequitedly loving someone else. Those of us like that feel terrible, lonely, depressed and worthless because the one person we love doesn't want us. How can you give advice to the one on the receiving end without helping those on the other side of the equation?

Ahhhh I have a bad case of unrequited love and it's lasted about two years! I have never met anyone more perfect for me and I don't think I ever will. Problem is he loves someone else. I'm ok with that, they are good together. But I just feel sad that there's no-one out there for me and wonder if i could ever be somebody's first choice.

I had a long-term relationship for six years. We were in our late 40's and early 50's. The ex-wife and children were against his relationship with me. His father died, who he was very close to, and suddenly, instantly, he told me he no longer felt the same about me. He brought the ex-wife back into the picture but she ended up moving away. I guess he still wanted the past after his father passed. He was the love of my life and it's been a tremendous struggle to get back on my feet. I miss what we shared yet I know he will never love me again. I don't even know what I did to make him stop loving me. I was exactly the same person. Hope no one has to go through anything like this ever.

I am new to this site. I was drawn in by the article unrequited love which I am experiencing now. The object of this love has loved me, even tells me he loves me presently, but has no interest in getting together. He lives in a different state and uses that as an excuse not to see one another. It is certainly more complicated than this but I just wanted to briefly share my story. Please respond if you have anything relevant to say.