How do I Become an Alpha Male?

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  • Written By: Michael Pollick
  • Edited By: Bronwyn Harris
  • Last Modified Date: 12 November 2018
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In the animal kingdom, there is often a pack mentality based on the presence of a dominant leader known as an alpha male. Other males and females in these packs adapt their own behavior according to the example set by the alpha, who is naturally selected as the leader. This same phenomenon often occurs in human social groups, with certain males emerging as natural leaders, as well as prime examples of masculinity. A man can choose to modify his behavior and lifestyle in order to appear more masculine or self-confident to others. This may lead to a higher social status and at least the appearance of being a leader instead of a follower.

An alpha male is commonly considered to be a "man's man," exuding a high level of self-esteem and self-confidence. Some question whether or not a person could modify his behavior to become more of an alpha, and natural pack leaders are often thought to be born, not made. Their behavior, however, can also be viewed by others as an unflattering arrogance or machismo. Not all alpha males have natural leadership qualities, and some may be less influential on others because of their perceived arrogance or intolerant attitudes.


In order to become an alpha male, it is important to examine all of the qualities that define such a person. For example, such a man is generally aware of his physical appearance and body image. Others often modify their own behavior once they encounter a strong, physically fit man who has obviously taken good care of his body. Weight training and participation in team or individual sports is a good way to attain a good physique and healthy body. Many people consider professional male athletes to be ideal representations of traditional masculinity, and they will often modify their own attitudes towards health and fitness because of these role models.

Another element of a traditional alpha male is emotional control. During times of crisis, many people look to men such as doctors, police officers, and firefighters for a sense of strength and discipline under pressure. These men learn to keep their own emotions in check while others are depending on them to remain professional. An adult could develop a sense of self-discipline and stoicism over time, but many males with alpha qualities have been conditioned since early childhood to keep their emotions hidden or unexpressed. He may be perceived by others as emotionally distant or overly stoic, but many natural leaders have learned to detach themselves in order to accomplish what is expected of them during a crisis.

An alpha male can also have a strong sense of traditional masculine behavior. Because of the higher levels of testosterone, many seek out occupations that require exceptional physical abilities or have a significant risk factor. Many of these men join military organizations in order to develop exceptional self-confidence and self-reliance, especially during times when strong leadership qualities are required. Some seek employment in high risk career fields such as law enforcement or fire fighting. Many professional actors and athletes possess strong alpha qualities, as do many political leaders and medical professionals.


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Post 12

To me, a true alpha male should be kind and compassionate. It's a nice bonus if they are confident and charismatic, but these things are not absolutely necessary.

Alpha males come into all shapes. For example, Jesus, according to some people, he would be classified as a beta, but just look at how much he was and still is being revered by so many people. He was a leader in every way. To me, he was alpha, and I am not even Christian.

We humans are animals, which is why we entertain the concept of an "alpha male", but we are also more than just animals, and this is why our true ideal of alpha male cannot be extrapolated from what we see in the animal kingdom.

Post 10

This concept is such complete crap it's laughable even as a theory, let alone applied. People are innately too diverse for an alpha-type to even exist.

As a woman, I am merely attracted to men who are passionate, focused, and hard-working. Those are genuinely the qualities that will get me every time. I think most women who are honest with themselves and honest in their pursuit of love feel the same as I do.

Whether you're a sensitive artist, a roughened police officer, a practical analyst, whatever, what is most attractive about you is that you care about your life and your work and that the only person you're trying to prove anything to is yourself.

Dedication and honesty will

give you confidence and that will make you attractive and it will make others respect and admire you which will make you even more attractive. There is no cheating this.

Macho-posturing guys may fool people on a superficial level, but they don't have genuine relationships with people because they're not being themselves. All men contain a myriad of qualities that include 'male-like' qualities such as bravery and honor but also 'female-like' qualities like sensitivity and deference. There is no proper way to be a man, and if you strive for it not only are you going to fail but you are going to cut yourself off from truly experiencing anything.

So please, don't try to become an alpha male. Not only are you wasting your time but you're removing yourself from the pool of men I and women like me could potentially fall in love with!

Post 9

Many alpha male people I have come into contact with don't seem to have much of a personality or integrity. They don't appear to be very honest or genuine either. Maybe it's just traits found here in NY. I don't know. Either way, it doesn't seem to be a very good personality trait in the long run because sooner or later, they fall hard!

Post 8

There is one connection I have seen between alpha males and high risk positions like police officers and firefighters. I know a few people who went into these careers from high school and the trait they all had in common was that they always tried to assert themselves into power positions and were never able to.

Obviously, there are a lot of police and firefighters who went into their field because they wanted to help people and benefit society. I think these are the ones who succeed. At the same time, the people I know all seemed to do it, because it's a way of getting respect and becoming an automatic alpha male without actually earning it. I think these are often the people who end up abusing their power and making people distrust police.

Post 7

I do agree with the argument that people look for an alpha male in a time of distress. It seems like we as humans have been conditioned to do that.

Even when it comes to asking someone for directions, I think there have been a lot of experiments that have shown someone will pick an attractive, confident looking person for help over someone who is less attractive and confident.

The interesting thing, I think, is that not every broad-shouldered, attractive man is comfortable being in that situation. It can also be awkward for other people when they expect that person to have a dominant personality and they don't.

Post 6

@jcraig - Good point. I notice the same type of thing with myself at work. I am a natural introvert, so I am relatively quiet in social situations and follow the other stereotypical introvert guidelines.

When it comes to work, though, I always know what is going on and can come up with solutions to problems very quickly. After a while, people start to recognize this, and I become a sort of alpha male in that environment. Once work is over though, the roles change and someone else's personality wins out.

Post 5

I would argue that different groups of males can have different alpha male characteristics depending on what members the group has. I can use myself and my friends as an example.

I would consider myself and most of my friends to be about average when it comes to body types. We all exercise to stay in shape, and none of us are overweight, but we don't spend hours and hours in the gym perfecting our bodies. We have better things to do with our time.

We have one friend, though, who does spend a lot of time at the gym. He tries to have an alpha male personality, and it can work in some groups. Since my main group doesn't put much stock into that, though, our dominant personality is usually chosen either by humor or intelligence. Looks don't play into it at all.

Post 4

Subway11 - I also think that alpha male traits that involve courage are also traits that women love. Men engaged in dangerous professions such as an F.B.I. agent, a police officer or firefighter can easily attract women because the nature of their jobs are so exciting and dangerous that it makes them more masculine.

I think this is why the James Bond movie franchises are so successful because men want to be like James Bond and women find James Bond irresistible.

I think this is why I love Al Pacino movies because in most of his movies he is an alpha male. I loved his role in “The Godfather Part 2” and “Sea of Love”.

His charismatically quality on film is the reason why many of his movies have been successful with both men and women.

Post 3

Sunshine31 - I think it is easy to understand why women are attracted to confident men. Women like to be around men that are traditionally masculine like the alpha male because it makes them feel more feminine and more like a women.

I think that women cling to romantic stereotypes and love men that are rugged and masculine and are confident in their abilities without being arrogant.

There is a fine line between confident and arrogant but the man that knows the difference will be able to attract a lot of women.

Women love to talk to a man that is successful that has a lot of responsibility. A doctor for example, is attractive because he is responsible for treating sick patients and is in a sense rescuing them which is a very attractive trait in a man because I think all women in some level want to be rescued.

Post 2

Alpha male characteristics can be seen in a lot of successful business men and high profile male celebrities.

When I think of alpha male traits I always think of Donald Trump. He is highly successful and extremely confident in his abilities. He thrives on risk and now has profitable real estate venture and has a net worth of several billion dollars.

He also has a classically beautiful and feminine wife which is what the alpha male is most attracted to. He has also written many competitive business books like “The Art of the Deal” which is still read in many business schools today.

Post 1

If you have to ask you cannot become one.

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