A hickey is essentially a bruise, caused by another person sucking on the skin, and pulling it into their mouth for about 30 seconds. This creates breakage of the blood vessels and causes either a red or brown, semi-circular shape to appear on the skin.

Often the hickey is the mark of possession by another person. It is popular in high school to give and receive hickeys. These may either be sexual in nature, or non-sexual, since some find the effects “cool.” The neck is the most frequent location of the hickey, because most people who enjoy them want them to be seen.

Not everyone enjoys getting or giving a hickey, however. It is a mild form of sadism to give a person a hickey because you are causing that person pain. While hickeys tend not to be very painful, they still may be unwelcome. As well, for the underage person, a blatant hickey could cause problems at home.

It is important to ascertain before giving a hickey/lovebite/monkey bite, that the receiving person actually wants one. There are many people who do not like them, and who would find getting a hickey both mean and offensive. Since hickeys are often associated with sexual foreplay, many teens and adult do not wish to advertise their sexual behavior with a big hickey.

Just as you wouldn’t kiss someone who didn’t want to be kissed, giving a hickey to someone who doesn’t want one is a form of sexual abuse or sexual harassment. Therefore, a hickey should be something two people both agree to, and should never be forced on an unwilling participant.

Like most bruises a hickey will heal in time, which varies depending upon the person. More serious hickeys tend to take longer to heal since more damage is incurred on the blood vessels. The hickey cannot cause permanent damage, but it can stay on the skin for several weeks.

If one has received a hickey and wishes to conceal it, the best bet is using concealer to minimize the bruising. This may still show the hickey in certain lights. Covering the hickey area with clothing is also a workable idea. Turtlenecks work well for hiding an unwanted hickey.

If you have received an unwanted hickey, this suggests it is a good time to set boundaries in your relationship with another person. It is never okay to be subjected to something you don’t want sexually or playfully. A partner or friend who cannot understand this does not have your best interests at heart.