What is a Drama Queen?

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Conflicts and disappointments are natural side effects of the human experience, but for a certain personality type known as a "drama queen," life's little setbacks can trigger explosive emotional outbursts and other irrational behaviors. The term "drama queen," or less frequently, "drama king" is usually applied to someone with a demanding or overbearing personality who tends to overreact to seemingly minor incidents. A drama queen often views the world in absolutes, and only has two settings on her emotional control button; zero and ten. Psychologists might describe a drama queen or king as a neurotic personality with histrionic tendencies, meaning they tend to become needlessly dramatic whenever order is disrupted.

In literature, the character Scarlett O'Hara from Margaret Mitchell's Gone with the Wind would be considered a drama queen by today's standards. A drama queen is notoriously self-centered and self-absorbed, often viewing friends and relatives as lesser beings assigned to take care of her personal needs. A drama queen's worst enemy is solitude, so she tends to be very outgoing and sociable, although many of her friendships tend to remain at surface level. Others who have experienced the drama queen's sudden outbursts in the past may have a feeling of walking on egg shells around her, not wanting to be the person who delivers upsetting news or offends the drama queen in any way.

A drama queen could also be described as a diva, a neurotic and self-centered perfectionist prone to sudden demands and outbursts. However, a diva is also usually considered to be exceptionally talented, which is not always the case with a drama queen. A drama queen may be jealous or envious of others, which could make any personal failings even more painful and trigger another round of emotional outbursts or irrational thoughts of revenge. In a drama queen's world, people can be either with her or against her; there are no stages in between.

Many parents find themselves in the unenviable position of dealing with a young drama queen. This can be a difficult situation for other siblings, since their own needs may take a back seat to those of the drama queen. Some parents choose to acquiesce to a drama queen rather than provoke the inevitable tantrum or histrionic outburst. By confronting the would-be drama queen's selfish behavior directly, however, parents can demonstrate that a child's demanding or manipulative personality is not enough to force them into doing anything. A young drama queen's worst fear is to be ignored or become powerless over others.

In adult life, being considered a drama queen or a drama king is generally not a good thing. Co-workers or superiors may fear confronting a drama queen or king at the workplace, since he or she usually does not take personal criticism very well. A drama queen may find herself out of the social or political loop at work, since her tendency to overreact or lash out at others irrationally makes it difficult for others to trust her with sensitive information.

While a drama queen might find her forceful personality and manipulation skills useful in a few situations, her inability to control her emotions and to form meaningful relationships could keep her socially isolated. Someone who acts out in the manner of a drama queen may have a true histrionic personality disorder and should consider seeking the advice of trained mental health professionals.

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15
We live in a culture of emotional nihilism. Everyone wears a social straight jacket, trying to fit in to the standard of "nice" and a "let's not rock the boat" credo. Passionate individuals and those whose passions were denied socialization due to rigid conditioning are perceived as anathema because we have been taught to hate their intensity in ourselves.

If we would listen to our passions and the message of their drama, we could get in touch with some vital energy.

- anon51653
14
well, from my experiences, listening to a drama queen usually sets the boundaries for more and more drama. so the best thing is just don't get caught in the web.
- anon51364
13
Personally, I think the term "drama queen" or "king" is a pejorative. This is what someone who really *is* one calls someone else when they don't approve of their actions. Who's to say the other person is irrational? Maybe people should listen and not blow off others so much like that.
- anon48185
12
i recently ended a friendship with a drama queen, and i am so happy about it. i couldn't take it anymore! there was always something with her! she is always extremely happy, then extremely depressed and crying hysterically, then extremely angry and throwing things. she's never calm. and she doesn't care about anyone else but herself! its all about her and her problems (which she created a lot of times). do not feel bad for these people! and no matter how much you try to help them, they don't listen. do not waste your energy on them!
- anon47286
11
Just got dumped by my drama queen four days after we got engaged and after two years of loving and supporting her - despite her faults. Then found out she's engaged to another guy shes been seeing behind my back for a few months. Of course I'm crushed. Only consolation is he doesn't know what's gonna hit him in a few months when he sees her true nature.
- anon45964
10
I left my drama king six years ago and have never been happier. He has since remarried, and his wife is ready to leave him because of his histrionics and self-centered entitlement issues. He's charming, though. But definitely not worth the emotional roller-coaster.
- anon38959
9
This is in response to helping a "drama queen" ---. They do not want help in a positive way, they want you to bring them water when they almost pass out (at least 3 x per week). Try telling this person that they over-react and you will get a response telling *you* how the cosmos made *you* crazy. Just walk away, this is the best medicine for the both of you.
- anon37341
8
There is a difference between a drama queen,someone who is depressed, and someone who is just immature and finds problems hard to endure. I try to help a person with a problem till I realize they are enjoying their suffering or that they usually act like this. Then I begin to gently them about their behavior in a way that makes it seem that I care only about their well being. If someone enjoys the result of being a drama queen and doesn't want to stop, be it affirmation from other people or getting their own way, then I stop talking to them.
- valley2
7
Drama queens are exhausting parasitic people who feed off the energy of anyone who is afraid to be alone. Better to put up with and encourage the drama, than to be a lonely loser.
- anon36112
6
The so called drama queen may have other very positive points in her personality..but should the tantrum attitude be allowed? or how to deal with such a person? She cannot be corrected even for a small thing..because if you do, you must remain ready to hear ten times more fierce feed back!
- anon35921
5
how can we, the spouses of so called drama queens or kings best deal with our partners so as to continue living happier lives?
- anon35836
4
someone dealing with depression may seem like a drama queen or king, but is truly dealing with depressive episodes and triggers.. depression takes on ppl in different ways, and emotional outbursts is one of them.
- anon27605
3
the world with be a better place without them (drama queens and kings) so we better burn them and grind their bones to dust!
- anon25137
1
It really is important to understand that a "drama queen" might have a serious underlying problem which is the reason for needing so much attention. Instead of just being annoyed at a drama queen, it might be better to help her (or him) get help!
- jennifers

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Written by Michael Pollick
Last Modified: 08 November 2009

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