What really stinks is being 52 and still either bullied or ostracized. I am so tired of being alone. So tired of being so sad. So tired of feeling useless when I know I'm not.

I'm just very tired of not being 'accepted' or 'acceptable.' I have no family, no friends -- not one person I can call and say "Hey, can we talk?" or "can we get together for coffee?" No one.

Waste of a good brain, waste of flesh and still when I suck in I get air, and who gives a crap?

After I watched the movie "adam" I felt something of this man was who I am also. his mind was in an another orbit altogether, concerned with science and galaxies but inept socially and afraid to make social interactions. *example when she knocks on his door and he really wants to go out with her but sits in his room panicking.

That may be a lot of people but the resemblance in all ways is uncanny. As for me though, I am definitely no rocket scientist.

I'm 52. AS is me. I have always suspected it. Every symptom is me. Three marriages. All failures, and, saddest of all, now that i understand, i can spot an AS kid a mile away. The mother always looks so harried.

To say anything would be inappropriate (I've learned the hard way, of course). I know what that kid is going to go through, soon.

I'm a 25 year old female and it's interesting to me, the concept of Asperger's, and the comments here which list symptoms and life experiences similar to my own.

I tend to be more of a loner and have trouble in certain social situations, but other times find myself completely confident, charming and secure. Deep down, I don't feel that I truly need anybody. I often feel like I am a shell of a person, going through the expected-of-me motions of everyday life without regard for the meaning or emotion behind them.

I've often felt a strange lacking of empathy or feeling toward catastrophic or particularly emotional events not only in the lives of those around me, but also in my own.

On the whole, I function quite well, with occasional depressive spells, the cause of which I usually attributed to PMS/hormones. I'm not opposed to "labeling" myself anything, least of all mild Asperger's, but I don't feel it's entirely necessary if I can lead a mostly "normal" life. Just a few thoughts.

Thanks for reading.

Does anyone know whether being Asperger's affects the likelihood of developing Alzheimer's in later life? I read somewhere that both affect the same areas of the brain, albeit in different ways.

My 20 year old son is in rehab for substance addiction and they have just diagnosed him with Asperger's.

Reading the checklist, he scores positive on every one of them. His childhood was extremely difficult and he turned to drugs as a teenager as a way of fitting in. He has extreme depression and is now fighting addiction. Is there a correlation between substance abuse and Asperger's?

Al Gore has Aspergers? Oh, please. The guy is a narcissistic personality disorder case study. As for the others mentioned? Yea, Gates perhaps, but Bob Dylan? Try drug induced personality changes there. My goodness.

Asperger's... I knew I was different from the very beginning. Now I know why I was always alone, and had (and still do) trouble making conversation. It's not my fault. I was just born this way. Sigh. I wish I didn't have Asperger's.

i was 45 years old before i first learned about asperger's. of course i knew i was different. i was raised in a foster family who always found me weird. i learned to hide and fake it well enough, i suppose, but sometimes i am stubbornly rude or taking things literally just for a laugh.

i think it makes me angry that i must change to fit in. I've had many relationships but no one ever knew me. now I'm alone but not lonely.

with a lot of research and reading, a lot of ideas to help the Asperger's person can be implemented.

The CFGF diet will often help the person feel more comfortable as well, as it has done for my child. Also, OT and PT are helpful. Yoga stretches (there are DVDs for Yoga) are excellent!

Well, I recently just found out about Aspergers. I'm 28 years old and I dropped out of school when I was 15 (9th grade). I would always feel like out of the whole school, all eyes were on me! It was like that for as far back as I could remember.

I've always felt the only emotion I could feel was depression. I've always looked way too deep into everything. I like to think about things with extreme points of view. It helps me break it down in my head, and it helps me be able to relate to others as well.

After I dropped out, I got my G.E.D. It took me about a week. I was always a failing student, but never stupid. I just needed someone who would explain the subject in a way that I could understand.

When I was a young boy the doctors told me I had ADHD, and I've been taking meds for it most of my life. It never really helped with my focus, but more it sped me up so I could get more done faster, which in turned I supposed looked like it was doing the job.

After my G.E.D. I went to college for computer network technology. I was 19 and had never touched a computer, yet I've always had some obsession with them. I made it out top of my class. Then joined the Navy!

The navy for me was one big never ending nightmare. It was the best thing that could have happened to me in so many ways, but I was suicidal every day! When I'd mention this to my supervisors, they'd just tell me to "Grow up!" While I was in the navy I got married, had two kids, then got out after five years of hell.

Don't get me wrong. The navy was great for many, but I never understood why I was always the odd one out. I made it to 2nd class P.O. (E-5) in a little under three years. But I found it difficult to give orders to other people. I hated being the guy who had to give orders and make people hate me. This just made everything in life way worse.

I've still to this day never been in a fight before in my life, and I refuse to unless it comes to my kids, then I'll be out for blood. Still not a fighter though. After the navy I went on to work in the oil and gas industry in the Golf of Mexico. (Surprised I made it out alive) I got laid off after only nine months of being out of the navy. I had a wife and two small children depending on me and I didn't know which way to turn.

Sometimes I felt like suicide was an answer because I thought my family deserved someone better that could actually take care of them. I felt like my whole life all I've ever done was fail. Shortly after I got laid off both of my cars got repossessed, and I filed bankruptcy (at age 28) and started over in college again.

This time for something I love. Music! I'm getting my B.S. at Full Sail (paid for by uncle sam. *This being one of the reasons the Navy turned out not so bad) After that I plan to get my masters in entertainment business.

Maybe it was all because I didn't understand anything about myself until just a few days ago, but after being married five years, we both decided to call it quits. So now I'm single, in college, and on my own for the first time in my life. It's scary as hell, I tell you!

Last week my son (age three) got officially diagnosed with asperger's. I've been told that even I showed symptoms before, but I didn't know anything about it, and I always denied due to the fact that I didn't want to stick out even more, or have a "label".

Last Friday when my ex-wife came back from the doctor, she was reading all of the things my son may experience in his life, and I swear it was like someone was going down a checklist of my life! I felt a little worried about me, but relived for my son.

I have still not been tested for asperger's, due to the lack of transportation which resulted from my ex and I splitting. But I do plan on going to the VA ASAP to get checked out.

The reason I felt so relived for my child was because of this: There appears to be a very strong possibility that I may have asperger's, and I've made it through college once already, the U.S. Navy, been to 46 other countries, was married, (and had we understood why I was the way I was, maybe it would have worked) had two of the greatest kids in the world, and now I'm back to chasing my dreams in music and back in college.

I did all of this without knowing a thing about why I was the way I was.

I think that because my ex caught on to my son's condition early on he stands a much greater chance to go way further in life then I could ever imagine going myself! Well, thank you for taking the time to read this. It is the first time I've ever talked so much about myself, and it's a relief.

I'm still struggling with everyday life, but now that I can link a possible reason why I am the way I am, life just seemed to get a lot brighter to me! Thank you all for your time and efforts. -HNH

I am 20 years old and I can relate to just about everyone who has commented on this. I am not sure what I have though because I am too afraid to talk to a professional.

As a child I was very odd (I sucked my thumb until I was 11 years old). I had trouble making friends but I was fortunate enough to be born a twin so my twin and I spent a lot of time together.

I can never keep a conversation going and I feel awkward whenever I am around people. It stresses me out and when I speak I end up mumbling or stuttering. I'm afraid that what I say will be the wrong thing to say and think people are judging me. I prefer to be alone. When at work I chose I job that had very little social interaction.

In school, I would often work by myself even if I was supposed to be working in a group. I cannot make eye contact when I'm talking to someone, and if I try to make eye contact, I will not hear what they are saying but play it off like I heard.

I was made fun of a lot as a child and often I would come home, go to my room and cry. My parents talked to the parents of the children who had made fun of me but that only made it worse because their parents thought it was funny.

I tried committing suicide several times when I was 10 years old because I did not understand why people were being mean to me and why I was so weird. I did not think I was weird until other people began telling me I was. A 10 year old should not feel that way and want to die.

If your child is making fun of another child, do not encourage them. It does not matter if making fun of someone makes them the cool kid or not.

This is me. I'm 41 years old. throughout my life, I've managed to pull off social situations, but the anxiety can get ridiculous.

i had a birthday party for the first time since i was a kid last month. i think it went well, but the emotional backlash was so unpleasant i don't know if i can do it again.

i have a few friends I spend time with, and now there are other people who want to be friends, and i find this so stressful.

i wonder if my teachers knew i had this. i was such a miserable child and have always had difficulty as an adult.

I always knew i was different from others but as i grew to my older teens, i thought i self diagnosed myself with autism but in my mind really knew i only had symptoms of autism not the full blown autism.

Then after my mom committed suicide i went into some therapy for many reasons and the doc pinpointed my diagnoses as aspergers. I am 38 years old and i have done a lot of self evaluating to help myself figure out what makes me who i am.

My traits like many above me are as follows: i don't like change, I am very routine-oriented, do not like crowds or to mingle in a group. i despise it. in general i hate people; i just tolerate them to do my job, etc. I love to be alone and many times have classified myself as a loner before i knew the term aspergers. I do better one on one with people but i have to trust them. i don't waste time on people in general. i could really care less if my coworker has three kids! i know that's bad but that's the way I'm wired.

Once you understand yourself and what makes you happy you will really enjoy life more. Like many above me i am gifted in numbers, not like in high end math, just like adding numbers up etc., and i thrive at my job because of it. i count money all day at a bank.

At home everything has a place; it must be in order and i am not married. I hope that helps some folks. i am older and have learned myself and what makes me happy and what doesn't. Keep in mind, though, i did get professional help at one point to help me compare notes with what i knew.

- anon54377: You describe many of my behaviors.

Others seem to converse so easily, back in forth in the rhythm of appropriate talk, while I come out with too much information or not enough.

or I'm using well rehearsed lines of vintage dialog, feeling like an impersonator like I want to get the hell out of there.

Believe it or not, for many years I was a bartender. Can you believe it? How did I pull it off? Grass. when I was high I was very sociable, open, and did well.

today I've changed my life, and only smoke once in a great while. I think back how I was acting out a role. today I am still struggling and feel like some kind of new behavior must be coming soon. I can't go on like this. not suicidal, but...

I think my boyfriend may have AS. I always thought he was a little "odd" but I always cared about him anyway. The idea didn't occur to me that he may have it until he told me himself he thought so. So my question is what are the AS symptoms with people in a relationship?

What should I understand/know?

I know he cares about me a lot when I think about the things he does for me, but a lot of times I feel like he's not expressive enough. For instance, he'll tell me he cares about me but he says it so matter-of-factly that I start doubting it.

I believe he really is a good guy but he seems so unemotional and inexpressive. I've never seen him cry even when we talk about upsetting things. I have dated the "strong and silent" type of men before, but even at some point I've seen them cry and get emotional (maybe not as much as me or the "typical" female) but with my current bf, I just find it so weird.

I really would like to be enlightened by people who know first hand. Thank you.

I am 20 years old and I have aspergers. i do drive, but i still have no license, already took segment 1 and 2. I just need to do the road test, but my timing is slow and i don't think fast or quick enough, which is hard for me when i drive. i sometimes have a hard time making a decision my own. My brain is holding me back, which hurts me a lot.

when i was little i was weak couldn't work out, couldn't get out of a pool, or had a hard time giving eye contact to people. Living with Aspergers can be so miserable and stressful. sometimes i hate it and sometimes i accept it, but i did make lots of friends in HS.

Your last paragraph was right on, and while this has been one of the best "one pager's" I've found describing adult Asperger's, perhaps some of the language could be tweaked so that the article does not make the condition seems so much disease-like.

Hi there. I was diagnosed with Asperger's back in 2005 and to know that there is a name to what I have is such a relief. It is only now though that I am doing more research into the condition and it feels good to know that these problems are not my fault.

That does not mean that I should not try to behave acceptably in social situations but at least I feel reassured. Although I am now 27 years old with few friends to count I am now free from much of the torment and bullying from when I was a teenager and a child and am living happily on my own.

I have a strong interest in anthropomorphic animal art and animal spirituality, which also ties in with my interest in the furry fandom. My interests and abilities in art are probably above average. I remember watching this documentary about someone with aspergers who is really good with math and he was saying how he could see the numbers in front of him. I find that for me it is visualising furry art such as animal heads of wolves or felines.

I will sometimes stare at terrazzo concrete floors on subway stations or blotched colour patterns on vinyl subway car flooring and I can also visualise furry art. I also find that my mood can go up or down sometimes not due to external factors and this can affect my rational line of thought.

I can be feeling lousy and I'll start ranting about how much my life sucks but with all things it passes. I admit that waiting four years after being diagnosed to do some research into aspergers is a little bit of time but initially I felt afraid that I would feel highly embarrassed to look myself in the mirror so to speak. I've also read that aspies have a hard time holding a job and I am happy that I've managed to hold the same job for seven years now. Fortunately the job is mostly independent of other team members and all through my childhood years my teachers would say how often I would work alone (although there were many a times I worked on school projects as a child and the others wouldn't put in their fair share so I just decided to have total control of my work).

I'm probably going on a bit. If a parent reading this has a child who thinks he or she has aspergers, rest assured that they are not alone in this world. I find that I get along very well with other people with AS so introducing them to an aspergers social club might very well be the best route to take.

Here in Toronto our public school board already has an afrocentric school and an alternative school for lgbt youth. With the right lobbying, perhaps creating schools specialising in accommodating students with AS could be achieved and help make the early years of those with AS more enjoyable.

I work in EMS and have always been told even before EMS I am rude. I never understood what anyone was talking about and I still don't, yet the accusations of being rude do affect my job.

Which once again I don't get it. If you call 911, my job is to come find the issue, assist in some relief of that issue and transport you all within standing orders and what your condition is with appropriate treatment! I do this and I am rude? What? I do the job!

It is not about flair, which I have none! I am not going to be a kiss butt because I don't get it! You're sick and I help you and take you to the closest appropriate ER. Don't call 911 if you want a hostess!

I do my job and do feel for the illness or injury -- that is why I do the job. Just because I don't put on a stage show!

My wife who is a 41 year old Aspie informed me the other day that she read about a mother who was giving her young son marijuana to help control his behavior. She makes it in a brownie and gives it to him either every day or every other day.

She swears by it, saying that she had him on medications and therapy but was unable to control his outbursts. Is anyone aware of this therapy? We are interested since we have a 13 year old Aspie son as well. Joethebomber

I'm not sure if I have Asperger's or not, though I do match a majority of the symptoms and had more of them when I was younger. I've gotten better over the years but I think it was mostly because I didn't even know about it, though I've always known I was different. My imagination is very good and I have always had higher intelligence though very little social understanding. I'm 21 now and all of my life I've always simply hated people. I have never understood their actions or their emotions. I know I'm human but I also knew that I was different and didn't feel the same things that others did. However, I also didn't want to get close to people.

I've been slightly paranoid of others because I've tried to blend in, something I'm very good at now. I learned how to fake my emotions so that now I feel whatever they are feeling and can help them feel better about themselves. I don't actually feel sorry or sad for them however, it's just what I know I'm supposed to do. I've always been very logical and have used this logic to explain many things, though I have honestly never met someone with AS. It's hard to think how alone and empty I felt growing up. There were times I thought I was actually crazy because I didn't have any problems saying goodbye to people. I just never had the desire for attachment and could honestly give up everyone that's close to me. I like to be alone and hate being surrounded by many people.

When it's one on one, I can talk fine and mimic many of their personal traits so that I can get along great with them. I do this naturally now and probably couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. When I'm around many people however, I can't do that. There are too many personalities and differences and I end up being very quiet and wishing I could just get away. I end up feeling very anxious and don't like the idea of being there because I'm afraid that it will show in my attitude.

I wonder whether or not I should be looked at though I also don't want to. I have no real problems with my job or life (at least none that I see) and enjoy being by myself the majority of time because it keeps me out of trouble. I'm a very good person and people often say that I'm very nice. That's only because they don't know what I keep hidden from them. Not even my family members know because I've had to hide it away and I don't want them to find out my secret. All the information I've looked up about AS just says that if I do have it, that I'm going to have to deal with it, so perhaps it's all right not to get it looked at. At least then, I could avoid the label.

The only reason I know about this is because a doctor believes my niece might have it and asked if anyone in my family had it. My sister read about and discovered that I when I was little I was exactly what the book described and told me. My parents have always known something was different about me but never got it looked at because they wanted to avoid me being labeled.

As someone who is likely AS myself, and has a son with it who is seventeen, I moved in with a roommate who also has it.

I started getting to know a wonderful man, who's working on a PHD in a form of biology, and have recently become nearly positive he has it too. it explains his lack of communication, and his occasional but not complete aversion to physical affection.

He does tend to get obsessive in his interests, but this man has been spending a lot of his very rare free time with me and seems very content to do so. It's hard to tell whether he is looking to build a relationship or a friendship due to the nature of AS. Anyone have any suggestions for ways to know? I'm afraid being too direct will cost me the friendship, if he's not interested in more --and that not being direct enough will cost me a chance at more. Ugh!

I love being smart and geeky and different, but not knowing what to do, especially in a situation with a potential relationship partner who is more socially backward than I am, is exceedingly frustrating.

I always suspected it, but now I am convinced.

What a strange disorder. My first instinct is to want to join a support group. I really do want to connect with people. How?

I have a seven year old grandson that has AS (diagnosed at three or four years.) My 57 year old brother was diagnosed bipolar, stage I, at about 20 years of age. After learning about AS, I feel my brother also has AS. I heard there's a connection.

Also, I haven't read about hand flapping when excited. My adult brother did as a child (as does my grandson )and admits to trying to contain himself from rubbing his hands together really fast when excited, as an adult.

I'm 41 and female and I've been recently diagnosed with AS. I'm told my being pretty much unable to hold down most jobs becuase of a lack of suitability, or not enough suitability, is due primarily to AS. However, I can honestly say I'm responsible for getting myself fired due to a bad attitude, which I've stopped doing on the job.

Most people my age are out of their parents' home. However, as much as I've tried to better myself and find higher wage jobs that I believe I could do, and go back to vo/tech school, it simply isn't going to happen.

A good bit of the time lately I've been feeling quite inadequate. I've heard "Trust in God via your parents, read up on it, apply for Social Security, take your antidepressants, look on the bright side" and I have done all this, but I still feel like my life is coming to a close.

The other meds I'm on are for petit mal seizures. (without having epilepsy) The response I had was "that's the depression talking" and yeah, I'll agree with that, plus when I look at my own present personal reality that's exactly what I see: a brick wall blocking out a path to success I've all too frequently walked down and stumbled along the way!

And just to clarify, I'm being as factual and realistic as I can, not overly negative. I'm very frustrated and I wish there was an affordable cure for this, but there isn't. Having AS, depression, tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and sometimes petit mal seizures may very well get me on SSI or SSDI. My dad has dementia. His mother had Alzheimer's. I hope to God I don't get one of those as well.

Dear God: could you do a miraculous healing for me? I am not sure what to think or do about this AS thing. Back in the 1960's, there was a Broadway play titled "Stop the World, I Wanna Get Off". That's how I feel 40 percent of the time!

My boyfriend and I broke up about eight months ago and his sister just told me he had asperger's syndrome. This explains so much.

It started off as a joke. As soon as I turned 18 a few years ago, my best friend and I decided that we would start a small full service media production company together. He did photography, digital editing, etc. and I just received my cosmetology license and had some experience styling photo shoots. He and I got along too good, to the point where everyone thought we were married, although our love for each other was strictly platonic. I couldn't help but ponder this and he jokingly said it's because we are both autistic.

I never really thought about it until he joked about it but he was very right. I started looking up symptoms for it and found Asperger's. I was floored. Everything I read was about me and him. Then I figured out that my dad, who supposedly absolutely loves his family (so our hundreds of relatives claim) had been so cold to us growing up. He couldn't help it -- and I'm led to believe that people with AS attract others with AS because I'm pretty sure my strange mother has it too. they're pretty average people, incredibly loved by many people and my dad has more friends than anybody I know but none of them are close.

I'm kind of like that too. I can instantly start talking to people and although it's usually really awkward, people seem to be really into it for whatever reason even though it's just nervous chatter. I have a huge vocabulary and I think I'm a gifted writer. I am always working on like five stupid art projects at a time. The only things that keeps me at these projects is validation. People really like my style and I am incredibly thankful for this because there is no way I could ever ever ever survive in the real world based on social interaction.

Everything thinks I am so clever and so smart but I can't comprehend much really. It takes me a really long time to dissect what people really mean and I rarely ever pick up on social cues and body language. I get so nervous and anxious around people and this has forced me to leave the cosmetology industry. I even assisted a celebrity hairdresser for over a year and I kept messing up, even on the silliest of tasks but I never thought it was my fault.

Usually, I pretend to be thinking hard about something all the time just so people don't approach me. I am also hard of hearing so that makes me look dumber. I hate when people consider me to be an actual important person in their lives because that kind of dependency frightens me. I don't need anybody in my life and I can't understand why people need me in theirs. I am perfectly happy by myself, relying on myself, and I can't comprehend sharing love with another person, let alone making it (ew) and living with somebody else and being committed! In fact I think that people that rely on others are really needy even though society makes it seem normal. I mean, I think of people from a utilitarian point of view and everybody I consider a friend is some kind of use to me but it goes both ways. I feel like I always need to be good at everything I try because it makes me a more valuable person, so I can have more friends because I can offer more.

But somehow I'm a really social and emotionally sensitive person and my feelings are pretty much almost hurt. I don't have a realistic perspective of the world around me at all and it is starting to become a huge problem. Now I'm a college student engaging in many art classes and nothing is more fulfilling than being completely surrounded by all these shiny tools and paints. I feel at peace, but then I also feel so horrified knowing that this feeling will end. It's probably how alcoholics feel. I feel dependent on wasting time and preoccupying my mind. I hate things that aren't really difficult and unchallenging, so I come off as really lazy and I change my mind a lot because I am genuinely interested in everything creative or artistic or having to do with people and society, so focusing in school is so so hard and it's only getting worse.

I'm trying to figure out how to rearrange my thoughts so I can be in more control because if I don't, I feel like I'm going to go insane one day and not even think twice about it.

I know it's a blessing to be different because there are in fact two sides to every coin, but it's really frustrating and discouraging to think about your potential (even though you know you are talented in many ways) when you can't get past your bathroom in the morning without having a panic attack. It's such a complicated process for me to get ready in the morning. I have to actively think about what to do next: brush my teeth, flat iron my hair, decide on what shoes to wear. I'm nearly exhausted by the time I am ready to leave my house! And the small tiny details about day to day things exhaust me too, like today I saw this girl in my class bending over to get something and her undershirt stayed perfectly tucked in, but I know that if that were me, it would have been hanging out and came undone. Like, who thinks or even notices these things? I am constantly worried about how I look to other people because I usually look hollow and empty and distant and sometimes I do feel that way but I don't like other people to see it because I'm very expressive and it scares people off. It's just maintenance. It's so much easier to just stay locked in my room all day and not have to worry about anything. Life is hard man.

I went to see a therapist and she had to teach me how to think in terms of emotion. She would ask me how I felt about something and I would say, "I don’t know." Then she would talk about the subject with me and maybe offer a couple of suggestions and only then could I accurately say how I felt.

My friends are all starting to get married and I feel left behind. To me it is unnatural to have someone else in your life like that. I am completely whole on my own. We start off on our own, why do we need someone else? I think I hurt a good friend of mine when she told me she was engaged and I didn’t react. I felt like I was losing her and she would embark on a journey of wedding planning that I couldn’t really be involved in because it all seems so fake to me. I don’t enjoy weddings, I don’t really understand them. I can love, but to me, love is meeting someone I really enjoy being around, but don't ever seem to be able to have. I know when I have feelings for someone, but I don't know how to express it and then I lose them.

I'm not very good at forming friendships either. I like people and I know a lot of people like me, but I don't really know how to connect with them. I don't know if I should drop by and visit people. That seems like something I should do, but I don't know what I would say when I was there and how I ought to behave. So I don't visit unless asked. I think this can be misinterpreted as not caring.

I'm not good at small talk. Parties frighten me because I feel lost and if I don't know someone well, I don’t know how to continue on with a conversation past, "hello, how are you?" Once I've said that to everyone it's either time to go home, or time to spend an excruciating few hours wondering what to do with myself. I want to enjoy it, but I can't. So I don't get invites, because I don't enjoy it, but I also don't want to be alone. It's a bit of a dilemma. - Gen

I smiled like crazy when my dog died that I loved dearly. I smile when I am reprimanded. Even though I feel horrible inside. It is like I cannot express horror. It is not horrible if I am here and alive and this is just one little thing and crying on the job is very unprofessional, so is back talking and why would I frown? I don't know why I smile it just happens. And if I don't look people in the eye it is not because I do not think I am pretty. I do think I am okay looking and no it is not because I think you are ugly. It is because when I look at someone while they are speaking it is very difficult to hear them. I see all the moving mouth and eyes moving and chin nodding and gesturing and what the heck do you say? Please I don't want to see your eyelids wincing or pulling apart. If you speak it is so I can hear and I am listening to you the best way I can. When I respond I am responding to your questions or comments the best way I can. Please do not accuse me of being cold or unconcerned or mean. I do like people but why do I have to look at a person's face? I like people's faces when they are not talking. Then I can look at them and sometimes I love looking at a face so much, or looking at a way a person is using their face and I cannot stop looking. It feels good to stare, like eating or drinking something. When I stare I feel as if I am filling up. It is a strong steady comfortable feeling and I cannot bear to be interrupted while I am looking at something in this way. I feel refreshed after that moment is over and ready to move on. I sleep under many heavy blankets. Even in summertime I need that weight on me all the way up to my ears. Completely. I cannot bear it if a part of my body is unevenly weighted at night. I must be all buried evenly to fall asleep. My daughter has many friends. I always have one or two close ones. Usually though the friendship will end because I am declared selfish and thoughtless. I cannot answer things properly. I speak too much or too little and it is always like the tip of a high diving board trying to know how much to say, when to say it and whether or not I have put enough of the correct sound into my words to make a person believe that yes I do care and I want to have a conversation. Please don't tell me my top is pretty or ask me how my kids are. I have no clue what the appropriate response, length of response, and tone should be. I must know the end of movies and books before embarking upon reading or viewing. I do not care about the ending. It is why things happen and how that I find interesting. Who cares who won a war, or who got married and had a baby, or which person came into political power? Who and when and where seem to me to be very trivial questions. It is the what and how that interests. Names are hard because there are always so many and we don't wear them on ourselves like the service industry. If your name is Keith and I forget and call you Kirk or Kyle more than once you might behave as if I have said that I hate you. Why is this? I see the form of this short name with a K and I remember K with red truck and family. I see your whole family, what you drive and how you told me you came into your chosen profession in one picture under that K. I don't know why I cannot remember the letters after the first. It is not because I dislike you or do not respect you. When I picture the alphabet or the calendar year it has a particular shape and path. I know the colors of all my letters -- even though supposedly letters do not have colors. The months and numbers have colors too. This is what they are: a is red b is orange c is yellow d is green e is blue f is purple g is red h is orange i is yellow j is green k is blue l is purple. See? It makes sense. And there is January green, February purple, March blue, April red, May blue, June green, July green, August red, September red, October yellow, November orange and December green. The year is a rounded rectangle, kind of like a square clock in my head with January and February covering numbers two and three sloping down to March at 4 and April May like 5, 6 and up to June at 7 on the clock and then July is 8 (those written vertically with their J's down), going up to and august 9 and september at space 10 and October November are horizontally written across 11 and 12 and December continues across at 1 o clock and the last letters trickle down to meet the top of January beginning at 2 again at New Year's Eve. Maybe I have this. Maybe I have something else. I just wish I could see how others think so I will understand better and not be so irritating to others.

My 12 year old son has just been diagnosed with AS. This led to me finding out I had it too.(I am currently diagnosed with schizophrenia & panic attacks, I am also ADD. Talk about comorbidity) Wow what a awesome thing it is to find out there are reasons why we have been "just weird" and dysfunctional all our lives. By most accounts I've always been told I've got way above normal intelligence but I've always had a heck of a time in school and have a even more interesting (read dysfunctional) time in the working world. I have a loving wife of 18 years and three awesome children. What I am building up to is this. Take responsibility for the quality of your life and your world. Understand and accept your shortcomings, learn to laugh about them, then find ways to work around them and go for your dreams. If you fail 50 times, get back up 51. Always push your limits in creative ways, learn to love god and to love your self. Don't suffer from insanity, enjoy it. That all.

Want to learn about Asperger's? Do some research. I think many of those who have posted their opinions are actually looking for an excuse to be found as 'poor misunderstood angelic beings' secretly blessed with far higher-than-normal intelligence and uncommon beauty. Asperger's is not about whining but about learning to live and cope with our difficulties.

My 21 year old daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 12. I am sure I also have it. I am 53 and have struggled all my life having many of the experiences people here have described. I have a question. How many of you have trouble remembering/telling jokes? I have a sense of humor and when I hear a joke I will laugh at it but later on I can't remember the joke, and I don't think I have ever told a joke in my life. I just can't do it. Just wondering...

I know someone who has been diagnosed with AS. Based on everything I've read, I'm fairly certain that I too have AS. I do not consider it "suffering" with a disease. I'm married, I have children. My son is probably another ASer. I'm a computer programmer, everyone called me weird in high school. I think we all are different and psychologists can describe pretty much every behavior as a "syndrome" that people "suffer". I like me, I like the way I can block out the rest of the world and concentrate. I'd say the most important discoveries in the world were made by fellow ASers. Treat it as a blessing, not a curse! You or your children may be the discoverer of a cure for cancer, a real disease.

I just don't know about all these new-fangled disorders. My grandson's preschool teacher had concerns about him relative to Asperger's syndrome. I asked her to give me an example of something that gave her concern. She said the children were in a circle, saying what they'd had for dinner the night before. The child before my grandson said he'd had chicken and peas. It was then my grandson's turn: He said that for dinner the night before he had chicken and peas. This, I gather, was an example of a symptom of Asperger's. guess what he'd had for dinner the night before! You got it - chicken and peas. We want to be careful, I know, and get our children any and all help they might need, but some of this is just "different strokes." My grandson is a *very* happy, enthusiastic, sociable, affectionate, expressive, happy eight year old. Should I have worried?

Hey everyone, I'm new to understanding asperger's. I took the diagnostic test to see how I compare to someone with aspergers and scored a 5. This means I really have very little personal experience with what is hard for someone with AS. Here's the deal, though. I live in a very tight knit community. There is a woman here with AS. I recently got involved with a man who who was close to her (never romantically involved, but a friend). For the last five months, she has been screaming at us on a semi-regular basis. She is so angry that I "took him away" from her, and now it seems like all I have to do is be in the same room with her for her to get really angry at me. She also frequently yells at him and other members of his family. Because of the AS, I've tried really hard to be patient and non-reactive when she starts screaming. But I'm running out of tolerance. I feel like there is someone in my life who hates me for reasons I don't understand, and I'm always afraid I'm about to get yelled at at any minute. Sometimes, we go for weeks without any blow ups, and sometimes it is a full week of constant tension. I want to be compassionate and empathetic and not expect her to behave in ways that she can't. But I also can't handle the yelling. I like this person. I've always enjoyed her quirky sense of the world and she cares so much about similar things that I do. Help!

my parents think i have AS but i have not been tested by a doctor. we have been doing research and they think it fits me. my mom called an autism phone line and they gave us some very helpful information. if i do it's going to be hard to deal with because i work with autistic kids at a special needs school and i would also have to figure out how to tell my co-workers, so i'm hoping to get tested soon so we know and we can deal with it.

I fear that I might also have AS. I don't know, and have never been diagnosed, but many of the symptoms are there. My father also had a hot temper, and would go into these tirades over little things. I loved him, but could never seem to please him. He had other symptoms listed here, but was never diagnosed. I fear that I might also be AS, for I find that I am having some of his frustrations, and symptoms myself lately. I didn't always, but my stressors have increased to the point that I now see myself exhibiting some of his mannerisms, and it scares me. I also had been picked on, and deemed weird when younger, as well as my little sister. But, neither of us are truly adept at math and science. Her english skills are off the chart though, and mine are adequate. I tend to be more art oriented, and although I struggle with some of the more complex mechanics in its advanced forms, tend to be quite a perfectionist - like my mother. I tend to notice, and be embarrassed by the flaws present in my works, rather than proud of what I did accomplish. I also tend to really let what others think, or what I think they are thinking affect me and my performance - both on the job, and later at home and vice versa. I hate to say this, but I also notice a strong tendency in some of us, including myself, to do some self diagnosis, which I have always been told is a dangerous thing to do, for even if you may not truly be that, you can make it a self fulfilling prophecy, in that you may convince yourself that you are. But, I am no expert either. I am just looking for answers. I think like the rest.

My son is 25 and lives at home with us. He does not drive or work. He is on the computer all day and night. He would love to find a girlfriend and I want to help him somehow. I would like to find other parents who would like to help their daughter find simple companionship. My son is nice looking but kind of small. He's 5 ft. 5 in. He has never had a date and is very lonely. If any parent out there would like to talk to me about their daughter with similar problems I would love to.

hello, i am a 48 year old female. i have had problems with social interaction my entire life. i have been to many counselors, doctors, psychologists, you name it. i have been so angry at the fact that because i can talk to people that these "professionals" tell me that i have no problem. i been listening to this for 25 years or more. recently, i found out about aspergers. i demanded to be tested and scored in the high/probable range a lot of the problems i have now could have been avoided if someone would have just simply listened to what i was saying to them instead of trying to tell me what my life is like and basically calling me a liar. i feel like they think they know more about my life that i do. i just hope this does not happen to anyone else.

I too wish I knew that I had Asperger's Syndrome more than 40 years ago. I am 53 years old and have had a terrible life with chronic unemployment; over 200 jobs - I never fit it. People tell me my work is excellent. I have two degrees; one a recent Masters. I cannot work with people and their facial expressions and emotions - I find it all too confusing. I am not sure what on earth is going on; so I just get on in my own little world and this upsets people no end becaue I miss what's going on. I detest the use of anything but straight forward grammatically correct language - that is things like 'two birds in the bush equal one in the hand' is just plain stupid to me. Recently, I had a great job paying $80K a year and my boss went away. She told me to report to the director, so I did. Then this woman decided that she was going to micromanage me - I would not take any notice of her, for as far as I was concerned she had nothing whatsoever to do with me or my work - even though she did the job before I did. Got into terrible trouble. I talk far too much (a common sign) and this has lost me so many job interviews. I do not focus. I want to cover everything - to me it all matters. I had a special interest until poverty meant I could not keep up with the technology to follow it. As a child my brother and mother called me weird, stupid, dumb, and my mother was very violent. When I was between 1 and 2 1/2 I used to rock back and forwards. My nasty mother said that she did not want a child like that, so she belted me every time I did it. I hate parties, I am just lost. I do not even like social gatherings of any kind. I have never even been on a date. Now I am so poor that my gas, phone and electricty has been turned off. I even got kicked out of a church group for being weird - no one liked me. As a kid I never had any friends. When I did make a friend in grade 8 I told her that she had a face that was all pushed in and you could tell she was a preemie baby; made perfect sense to me. She never spoke to me again. Now I have been turned out of my job as a network provider - the only support I had. The only people I saw regularly. I liked going in because it was human contact; but apparently I did not take the hint and the manager turned me out because I complained he had not provided the service he was supposed to - nicely and pleasantly. He just never spoke to me again and got Job Services Australia (the supervisors of the Job Network) to move me to another site. I have no money, no friends, cannot manage money, cannot get a job, and have not had any type of Xmas, birthday or similar celebration for about 25 years - just home by myself. I would not wish Asperger's on anyone. I cannot afford to go for any diganosis to get a piece of paper to do a course.

I am 100 percent sure I have asperger's syndrome. I am a 64 year old female and how I've made this long through life i'll never know. My grandson was diagnosed with asperger's and that is how I found out about it. After studying the symptons I slowly came to the realization that I might have it. I took the Simon Baren-Cohen test several times using different answers on some questions i might have fudged on. I consistently came up with a 32 to 40 score. I was bullied and teased as a child. Never made eye contact. It was hard for me to fall asleep. I would wake up at the slightest noise. I cannot stand the ticking of a clock and I get agitated if I feel even the rhythm of someone else's music. I never had any friends growing up and was considered a wall flower at dances even though I've been told I was very pretty by a lot of people. I hate social gatherings to this day and find it very difficult to deal with more than one person at a time. I've been told I'm very compassionate. I work for the state blind center and I love to help people and I am a very kind person even though my coworkers can be very rude and abusive to me. I am very sensitive and try to treat other people the way I would like to be treated. I was often taken advantage of by men. I've been married five times. I've had about 30 sexual encounters before I was 30. Some I would call forced or rape which I hate using that term. I've had things stolen from me. I give away a lot of things. Some things have been expensive. I live by myself now and feel like for the first time I have some peace. I was told by one person that she didn't want to be my friend anymore because people knew what I was as soon as I opened my mouth. This was some years ago before I knew what asperger's was and I didn't know what she meant. I only know that it hurt very much for her to say this. I had a boss years ago who said I intimidated people so he put me in a room with nothing but men technicians. I had a teacher in church one time write me a letter saying that I never talked. I had another person at where I worked one time tell me I was mousy. I was always very focused on work and excelled in everything I did but it was my personality that was my downfall. I tried so hard to fit in and wanted friends so bad but I realize now that it will never happen and I'm content to be by myself. I'm not even close to my own family. Does this sound like Asperger's? Please feel free to comment.

I've never felt the desire to post in any kind of online discussion before, but I started reading and all I could think was: "This is me." But, as is apparently typical, knowing that I am not alone is no comfort. There's a thrill of recognition, a sort of feeling of accomplishment, but no comfort. The thing is that I don't want to be "cured". I understand how gay people feel when they are treated as if they have a sickness, even if the intent is well meaning and sympathetic. I don't feel sick, it's the rest of the world that's sick. And yet, underneath, I'm jealous. I've known since early childhood that I just don't feel what other people seem to: the anger, the joy, the love, emotion is second hand for me. I've learned to act the right way in the appropriate situation, most of the time, but that's all it is. I am suspicious of any pleasurable activity that requires the cooperation of other people because they are not reliable. The driving force of my life, the only thing that has kept me from being totally dysfunctional in society is a powerful sense of responsibility, and that causes problems as well, because I react badly if I feel that someone I trusted has let me down, even in a small thing. I have been describing myself, since I was a small child, as selfish and lazy. Knowing that I have a "syndrome" doesn't change that assessment.

i'm a 23 year-old female who started hearing more and more about ASC a couple months ago. the more i looked into it, things from my childhood started to make much more sense- which i find extremely encouraging. i'm also an artist, amateur chef, and karaoke addict... and i love beer.

i still think back, "i knew there must have been something going on!"

-started talking at 6 mo. i was a weird little kid- particularly curious about sexuality, practicing with a pretty sweet barbie collection. elaborate soap opera spectacles...

-had a lot of trouble making friends. when i was 3, i started going to daycare in the city i've grown up in. i would cry and cry every single day when my mother would take me in before she went to work. sometimes she'd have to leave me home; it was uncontrollable. i'd dress up in my mother's old nightgown and tie a scarf around my waist to look good for michael jackson on tv. i had a crush on my dad.

and it wasn't tantrum-throwing, i was frozen terrified sometimes. as i learned to deal with the separation over that first year, making friends with kids my age was difficult. getting made fun of for silly things, "weirdo", keeping to myself- usually drawing fantasy pictures of birds in rich, elizabethan gowns with 20s style fancy shoes, bustles, slips, intricate patterns, lacy hats. I always had my homework turned in first, because it was easy.

after a brief stint with LSD between the ages of 17 and 18, i worked my way through family issues, four days in rehab (you go there and realize 'i'm not crazy!'), sexual promiscuity, and the concept of employment.

i waited tables and short ordered at a diner for a couple years. people and the mind have been a favorite hobby of mine since i can remember.

i struggle with discerning proper and improper conversation. lucky for me, most situations put me in the comedian's position. when something inappropriate strikes me as amusing, i can't control whether or not i laugh.

until a year ago, i'd never been willing or able to sustain a long term relationship- getting fed up with being so close to someone else. i guess i've just become more focused, mellow, and secure with, well, reality.

so i guess i was thinking about seeing a professional to see if perhaps the tension and desperation of my childhood had something to do with this?

Well, my brilliant, wonderful, pain in the "bleep" husband has asperger's or he is from another dimension. I must say AS has allowed him to put up with me (Border Line Personality Disorder) so, for that I am grateful! Who else would be so single-minded in his thoughts to not get annoyed by my quirks? I wish I could show him the list of behavioral characteristics for AS but he would say, "I don't have every single one of these traits listed here. So therefore you are wrong. I am going to go wax my boat." (again) I am being cavalier because if I am not I will cry. It is not easy, what we go through. I am concerned that we will not "make it". He speaks at me, the other night he had been talking to his mother on the phone. After about an hour and a half (she listens to him well) he came inside and at 11 p.m. (I was sleeping in bed lights off etc.) my ever loving husband regales me with a tirade on his 89 year old grandmother's concerns over Obama's health care plan and how it actually should work! I sat there bleary eyed and dumbstruck! Clueless doesn't even scratch the surface of what I think of his behaviour sometimes. I love him but I need some advice on how to communicate to him when he is in AS mode. Please help before I throttle him! Thank you for any assistance.

hi all. I am a new entrant in this field. I am a 40 yrs old female married to self diagnosed aspie husband of 41 years of age. For the first 13 years of married life, I waited for miracle to happen -- to see him behaving normally and responsibly and then found out about asperger thing and was shocked to observed that he had almost all the signs. We have still to officially get him checked but I believe he has a 99 percent chance of having it.

Though it has become bit easier to understand him after knowing, I am still to learn to cope with it in major issues such as he loses big money because of some nonsense reason which he can get back but won’t even try, And major issue is involving our kids aged 13 and 10 (with very high IQ). He shows the withdrawal symptoms after he is angry or frustrated with something and doesn't even care about those two getting emotionally hurt. Our son, 13, is too understanding and tries his best to bring peace with father but to no avail. My husband just wouldn't talk or understand. As long as he is ignoring me or not understanding me, it still works to a certain extent but with a child it’s a different ball game. He can’t recognize the reason for tears in my son's eyes, despite explaining to him. Can someone tell me how to deal with this issue?

I have tried to commit suicide earlier not knowing why he behaved abnormally even though he is in a management position and is earning sufficient to provide us with small luxuries as well, like education in expensive schools, providing me my personal vehicle etc. and he feels happy for us. The kids are doing extremely well in academics and other activities too. please help me. I want to have more control over my desire of seeing him like a normal husband. jj.

Sometimes it seems like the only one who appreciates me is our family dog! My husband constantly calls me weird, complains that I don’t fit into social situations, doesn't even want me around when he's with other people. I'm a nice person! I'm an honest person. I'm never going to hurt anyone. But why don't people trust me? I can't believe I act as strange as he says. I try to find out from him specifically what I do so that I can fix it, but he won't or can't give me specific examples. But if we're alone together he's affectionate to me and we usually have fun, joke around.

I have a high intelligence, and I can and do use it for our family's benefit. My ability to think well has allowed us to be pretty successful, but it isn't what people notice about me unless they get to know me well, and it isn't something my family recognises as important. That hurts.

I have to study how people stand, walk, smile and do things naturally, then try to imitate it, acting casual. I have to copy gestures people make to learn them. But still, there must be something “off” in my performance. I seldom get angry, and I appreciate beauty and love, but often it needs to be called to my attention. I often intentionally say funny things, which people say Aspies generally do by accident.

As post number 32 and 33 say, a rolling stone gathers no moss, means exactly that to me. When someone says that phrase I have to stop the mental image in my mind. I actually see a mouldy rock come to a screeching halt. I have to imagine it with brakes, or let it crash into a cartoon wall. Then I began to wonder how on earth it began to roll away anyhow. By that time I have lost track of what the person is saying, and I need to interrupt for clarification. Which is always annoying to them.

Metaphors are never easy for me. Each one must be learned, although I can cope and even use them artfully now and even make some up. I need to put them trough a translation process, to make them meaningful. And what about people who live in glass houses! That’s a terrible one for a modest, prudish Aspie like me! What fool would build a house out of glass anyway? Oh, and “what comes around, goes around,” which is always spoken with a warning hush, and then the subject of the conversation is quickly changed by someone who does know exactly what it means. A merry-go-round? A prostitute? I still don’t know, but have figured out it is not either of those, even though they do!

I really like the phase “People won't care how much you know until they know how much you care.” People just don’t know how much I care. I'm not as unemotional and detached as many Aspies here are describing themselves. I could not, as did commenter #17, watch an SUV spinning and just count the rolls. But I would not be impeded with emotion and hysteria while trying to help in the situation. I would snap into action, and do what needed to be done for the people involved. It is interesting to note, and exemplifies the commenter’s AS, that he misuses the word “empathy” when “apathy” is the appropriate word for the feeling.

I hope that poster #21 reads this, or at least people who share that view. Some of us do care deeply about our close relationships, but are washed away in a tsunami of implicit and innuendo. Besides that, I would like to respectfully respond that people often don't like people just based on our quirkiness, not only because of the time consuming special interests which interfere with bonding. I dress just a little oddly I've been told. I wear comfortable shoes, and dont use make up or expensive clothes. So what? On very hot days if I'm at home I might drag the fan into the back yard in the shade, sit in front of it wearing a wet shirt and shorts, and work on a robot I'm building. Strange, sure, but why would anyone not like me because of that? Einstein used to hard boil eggs in the same pot with his soup, and wear his slippers outside of his home. So? There are a lot of people whose personalities are just naturally idiosyncratic or solitary, but why not accept us as we are, whether attributed to Asperger's or not?

Think Tank (# 25) I agree with all you said.

No matter how I try to be clear in communication, I am misunderstood more often than anyone else I know. My thoughts are qualified by conditionals and contingencies, relevant ifs and buts. Even when I edit these all out, even by coming directly to the point or conclusion, well, people still misunderstand.

I have to try very hard to pay attention to what people actually mean when they are talking, not just their verbal statements. I take a few seconds longer to respond when someone says something to me, even something pretty simple if the context is at all vague. Apparently it is easy for most other people to “get it,” to match up spoken words with body language to fully understand a conversation. Worse, it is more difficult for me to suspect I’m being lied to.

I don't know if it is something separate, but I have difficulty recognising people who I don't know very well. Whenever I meet someone I try to keep looking at their face for two main reasons: to remember them in case we meet again, and to follow their expressions to see if it supports their words. But the impulse to look away is almost impossible to resist.

It's also important to understand that many people are just more loner types anyway. We are Spockish. We are nerdy. This stereotype isn't new. It doesn’t mean everyone who is not well adjusted is an Aspie, or feels the need to wear the tag. I hope this doesn’t turn out like the ADD/ ADHD fad. People attributing all aspects of their character to ADD, making excuses for their kids' misbehaviors, Often they really didn’t have ADD, but oppositional defiance disorder or other problems. I think ADD is over diagnosed. Genuine ADD cases often have difficulty receiving medicine now. Just because you don't know what's wrong with you doesn't mean that that “whatever it is” is Aspergers.

It is really a disappointment yet also a relief to finally realise that I’m an Aspie, not a freak. I have suspected Aspergers for a long time, but I wanted to avoid really knowing. It makes me want to find other Aspies, just to have a community of friends where I would belong, other people who wouldn't reject me, wouldn't think I‘m strange, but would accept my special qualities.

A man by the name of Asperger diagnosed personality traits in 1944 and now just because some people are introverted, preferring to spend time with meaningful things such as nature, studies, art,

sciences, etc., rather than make small talk and learn the nuances of a sick society in order to fit in, it's a syndrome? I think

that those diagnosed with "Asperger's" are the "normal" ones.

ok i have myself under control now. i have just spent the last few minutes scanning around the 'net, looking into this disorder. suddenly, i'm reading about people who think like me, feel the way i do, *act* the way i do. all my life i have felt as if i was always falling short of what those around me expected me to be able to do. always a failure, but never really caring enough about that to actually change it. wondering what the joke was when i had been paying attention to the conversation the whole time, or so i thought. feeling nothing when i see someone that i like in pain- almost like i'm second guessing my own feelings for someone at the worst possible time. i have never been able to keep a job for longer than a couple of years, but i have had some jobs that i just love, and in another scenario i'd still be working them. i have always felt false, like i'm faking anything and everything i do- i even told my ex-wife once that i don't feel emotion, just act in the manner that i have learned makes the most sense in the situation. i still don't understand the look on her face, as if i was a horrible person. She asked why i was so thoughtful, and i told her what had just occurred to me, that's all.

I'm a smart person. my IQ is up in the 170-180 range on the Stanford-Binet Scale. i am an accomplished musician who plays drums with a rock band, although i have been wondering why i bother with that lately. i have made a shambles of all but the most casual relationships in my life, even telling my father that i hate people in general, but none specifically. i destroyed my marriage because i just couldn't -- engage -- with my wife in matters of finance, child raising, or other things like that. she'd reach to me for comfort and i'd get uncomfortable and want her to leave me alone, and i *know* i loved her!

i have destroyed my health with the drugs i took in my teens and 20's trying to feel anything but fear and loneliness. 2 heart attacks, 5 bypasses, and now i have debts piled up, no future, no life, and all this time i have just accepted that i have no ability to be a normal person with a normal drive to succeed.

then i decided to read up on something that my daughter may have, according to her mother. it was just curiosity, just wondering what it was all about. suddenly i'm crying. and now i'm leaking again, because now i'm reading an explanation for *my* life- and what chance did i have? my parents had no clue, my counselors had no clue. i have been treated by one of the most respected child psychiatrists around, Dr. Alex Panio of AFIC in Denver, and neither he nor his staff had a clue. they diagnosed oppositional defiance disorder (actually, they tricked me into diagnosing myself in order to make me believe it) and acted accordingly.

it's like being told you have a terminal illness after your arms have been amputated. my life is a wreck, practically unrecoverable. i find myself wanting to die, because the thought of fighting this fight is just overwhelming. i've been just dying little by little, wanting to go because the alternative was just too much damn work- and now i have a word for all my problems: Asperger's.

It's too late for me now, i'm too far gone, haven't taken my meds for my heart for so long that it's got to be starting to break down. if you think someone has this, find out, because i assure you, they are wondering what is wrong with themselves, why they can't seem to get into step with the world at large. knowing helps, i can tell you that.

I am a 47 year old male Aspie. I would not wish this condition on anyone. I learned at an early age that I was different and that I would never "fit in." Although I finally married, I cannot tell you how many women were completely uninterested in dating me. I have a young daughter and I pray that she will escape this curse. From the outside, I appear to be very successful. Single minded pursuits lead to great achievements but happiness tends to be elusive. My nephew has now been diagnosed as an Aspie as well. I hope that society will be more tolerant of him.

Wow! I recently fell in love with a guy who I now feel, after reading these post, in all likelihood is an "Aspie". Especially the comments from 32 and 33 about their partner being socially 'out to sea' and sitting there stony faced while everyone else is laughing and having to use direct speech and not speak in subtleties. It made especially sad to read the most recent post from #35 who felt everyone thought her to be strange. It's not unusual for my Aspie boyfriend to think every person he meets hates him. He is also alienated from everyone at work, and I notice his family somewhat does the same. My own family even had an 'intervention' with me about him. I've come to the point where I somewhat echo the sentiments of #21's apprehensions in undertaking the challenges of being involved with an Aspie. The confusion about whether to stay or go is overwhelming and our relationship has therefore become cyclical. On the one hand he is so very intriguing to me; his wit is outrageous and I never know what is going to come out of his mouth. And like #15's post, the constant unanticipated laughter is so very refreshing and special to me. He is also a sweetheart who wants nothing more than for people to feel good about themselves but has trouble expressing it, and his attempts most often come out as an insults or just plain rudeness. It makes me so sad for him because I know that's not his intention at all. He is very misread by others. But on the other hand, I am an extremely social person with lots of friends, and true to Aspie traits, he admittedly has no friends that he himself sees regularly. If I could live my life with just him, it would be a very content one; but I just know that is not possible and I will always be bringing him into social situations that I now know make him extremely uncomfortable and cause me great anxiety worrying about how he will act. I have approached the subject with him, and although his response is 'tough, this is who I am', I am praying he can come around to the same thinking as #21's post -- that he will have to give it 90 percent to turn the relationship around. And even though he took an initial hard stance, he proudly told me that just yesterday he attempted conversations with everyone at work.

What's more likely that this can work is that I, too, am willing to give it 90 percent along with him, by researching, going to support groups, and just being supportive to him. He is worth it. And with our combined 180 percent, we should make it.

Hi, I'm a 43 year old female and I am pretty sure I have AS, although I still need to do more research.

I've been terrible at making friends. Other than the man I'm in a relationship with, I really don't have any. I can't seem to get past the awkward stage of getting to know someone. I'm terrible at small talk and trying to fit into social situations is pretty much impossible and stressful for me. I feel everyone is looking at me and thinking what a strange person she is.

At the same time, I'm very sad and depressed that I don't have friends. The few I've had over the years never last.

To all that are posting here, particularly if you have family members with Asperger's Syndrome, please also be tested for Tuberous Sclerosis. I am particularly interested in these comments posted, as I am having my 26 year old son tested for Asperger's. I have a grandson who has TS (Tuberous Sclerosis). TS *is a genetic disorder, often passed on throughout generations, without ever being diagnosed until the more severe type of TS pops up in family member. My grandson has white spots on his skin (although hard to see because he is so fair complexioned). He also has moderate autism. The spots on the skin are easily seen under a special light. Tuberous Sclerosis, in its most severe form, causes severe mental retardation. TS in its lesser form, can cause no symptoms. However, parents pass on the gene to their offspring (all it takes is the right combination to produce the wrong type of TS). The second type of TS (the more severe) also causes subtle to severe autism. I am curious if medical examiners have cross referenced these two disorders to see if some genetic patterning is there. Could Asperger's be Tuberous Sclerosis? Note again, some people with TS have absolutely no symptoms whatsoever and can live happy productive lives. I do believe that Aspergers does indeed have a genetic link, although medical professionals say otherwise. Just wanted to put this out there. People with TS, whether showing symptoms or not, often have watery tumors inside their body, non malignant, that can grow on their organs. I believe if a doctor is not educated on TS, these types of tumors can be misdiagnosed. Again, as I stated before, white spots on skin are generally indicative of TS. My son is being tested for Asperger's, and he also has white spots all over his skin.

This is a response to 29 – I have been married for 10 years.

Firstly, I am not a psychologist but talk from many years living with someone who clearly has Aspergers. I posted 39325. Our partners share striking similarities. The anger issues are very familiar - zero to anger in seconds over issues that are not of any consequence. The endless lists of things to do. The endless note taking. Things are done this way because they have always been done this way. Not letting go of a subject or issue for hours no matter how minor. A phone call I didn’t make, she will go on and on about it until I make it, even if it has nothing to do with her. The strange contorted posture and yes disappearing for hours in her office. Craving to be alone, to be by herself. Hiding away from your friends. And, and yes never saying sorry when she has totally destroyed you with her words. She has no concept of the hurt. No regular person would ever say such things. An example of one of the things that totally devastated me was she once said that she had no concept of ever being happy, she said she did not know what happiness was.

Conversation’s can often turn in to proclamations and statements not two way chit chat. A ‘fork in the road’ is a piece of cutlery in the road, what’s it doing there? This is a person with a very high IQ. I am lucky our daughter is NT but my partner’s father is Aspergers. Our daughter has more empathy in her little finger than my partner has ever had. I have learnt to identify the triggers that cause her stress, steer clear of the things that will generate these emotional outbursts. My life is simpler than yours but that is my advice. Yes you may think why should I, I’ve been wronged or she is wrong but it is clear people with Aspergers don’t think like you and I and there lies reality of our situation.

My partner has no concept of her connectedness to others. It seems like a one-way stream of stuff going in but she cannot regulate or relate to what comes out, if that makes sense. I always get the feeling that she is isolated from what is around her, incapable of collective appreciation of the world or her place in it, if she does she never says so. I have learnt to talk in direct speech. No subtleties, no metaphors, no word play. I have learnt that if I say I’m going to do something I will do it. I don’t surprise her. We plan. I try my best not to put her in novel situations – big stress generator. These are my thoughts on a smooth life.

Of course everyone is different, and there seems to be different levels of Aspergers but these are my own observations living with an adult Aspergers.

I am the partner of a wonderful woman who has undiagnosed Aspergers. She's gifted at math and music. A pure logic mind, a marvel to witness. To her everything is black and white, no grey. An amazing problem solver. An amazing person. I marvel at her intelligence. Obessive with facts, she will research and research for weeks a single point or question. She runs rings around specialists in their fields as she absorbs the facts and spews them out. Its breath taking. Socially my sweet and lovely person is out to sea. Incapable of reading others emotions. When everybody is laughing at the dinner table, she sits there stony faced not knowing what's going on. Twisting her fingers and sitting stiffly, eyes darting all over the room. She's incapable of understanding metaphor. She's wonderfully creative but incapable of creative writing. I've learnt to talk in direct speech. A rolling stone gathers no moss is a rolling stone that gathers no moss - to her its a factual statement.

I've learnt not to expect her to point out beauty, even though she must see it all around. I've learnt not to be upset when I hug her and she stands there unresponsive and stiff. I've learnt to accept her eccentric behavious. I've learnt that within her lies a hyper-sensitive person who can be destroyed by another's careless words.

Unlike others' posts, she organizes and makes endless lists to keep her day under control. She is incapable of spontaneous actions, if it's not on her today's to do list it cannot be done today.

We have been together for many years, we have a daughter and I love her very much. Aspergers is but a label, she is far far more than a label.

Hello. I have been searching all of my life to find out why I feel the way I feel sometimes. After reading the data on this website, I have gained the knowledge to understand myself better. I thought I could label myself a Highly Sensitive Person, but my feelings toward life is much deeper than sensitivity.

I have trained myself to manage the pain I can feel from another persons words, behavior or feelings.

Usually I find relief via gospel music or prayer, reading, writing, seperating myself, using the constitution to confirm my thoughts, silence, recharging my energy levels, at least 8 hours of sleep per night, music, and talking with someone else who I feel will cool the boiling blood running through my body to my volcanic heart.

My whole outlook on life is to make it better or perfect, even for my one friend or my whole family or the whole world. In doing that I may feel better, but I can totally be unsatisfied if even one of my surroundings are below perfect standards.

Suppose I go to a funeral and it turned out to be sad in my eyes; my whole day is ruined maybe even two days. I do not have to know the situation, person or the people grieving....I will cry because I become the emotion through my own private thoughts.

Me knowing that people misunderstand my feelings; I would eternally overreact if someone did not warn me about the critisism they wanted to give me.

Would say in a calm or disapproving tone:

Why are you crying? Don't cry! Why are you smiling?

Should say in the calmest sweetest tone:

May I say something?

I know you must feel awful from the crying flying around this room; and you can cry all you want. You have my deepest sympathy, here is some tissue.

I would stop crying or at least feel a little better if the person was truly sincere; I am temporarily relieved.

Would say in a calm or disapproving tone:

When are you going to quit smoking?

Should say in the calmest sweetest tone: This might hurt a little but I have something to tell you. Is it ok?

I know you don't want to stink or become sick; so I am going to help you quit smoking starting next Monday. Get ready because I know it is going to be hard for you to quit.

That line can work if you mean it.

I also have the most strongest crave to feel optimism from others, heard, unhurt, understood, and judged without any prejudice; because I can instantly feel all emotions a person feels while we communicate: Good or Bad: Mother or Wife: Work or Community: Dog or cat: Toddler or newborn.

I have this condition and I love it; because it makes me different.

If everyone was like me I would be dead and If I was like everyone else I would still be dead; so I have to live.

Unfortunately, my own survival is the feelings, wishes and dreams to make my surroundings in the light of the definition of happiness.

My husband is a self diagnosed Aspie. He will not take care of important issues and not only that but he will not tell me about them so I can take care of them. How should I approach this? When I finally find out, I blow up because not taking care of whatever it is, ie, getting his car inspected, ends up costing us more money (tickets for an expired inspection). I had to find out from my neighbors that he had gotten a ticket. We both work full-time (he's a software engineer) and have two young children so it's exhausting following behind him to make sure the minimum has been handled. My sister says to just do *everything* myself. Do any of you Aspies just not take care of important tasks b/c of the way your brain is wired? Any tips on how a spouse should handle this?

I have been married for 10 years to a 40 year old woman who recently found out that she has Aspergers. I love her dearly and am looking to help her be as happy and contented as possible. She is at times irritable, is very much in to routine or planned activities, is reluctant to be around others she is unfamiliar with and she reacts to stimuli in an aversive way. When things do not go as planned or if the routine is disrupted she can act out in a loud mean way. She becomes upset and can be distant for a day or two and even longer. She is never one to come and patch things up it is always me to give in apologizing for upsetting her. She is very sensitive to the things I say and do and can appear to be unforgiving at times. She never says I am sorry for any of her outbursts and can be mean and cutting with her words.

Things are complicated with having a 13 year son who has Aspergers as well and this often complicates matters for her ability to cope with things. She is often upset, irritable and tired. She withdraws from me and appears to be content with this. I want to be close to her and help her to get through the day without the outbursts, upset and turmoil. This is my 1st posting to this site I wonder if someone can help me get more insight into the dynamics of our relationship with Aspergers? Please respond to me.

I have always known I was "different" but could never pinpoint why. I am a 44 year old woman and just recently learned about Asperger's Syndrome. I believe I have it but I also admit I need to do more research on this strange syndrome. What I have read about it describes me quite accurately, hence the self-diagnosis.

I have seven siblings and none of them have ever exhibited any of the symptoms I have. During my school years and through college I never felt like I fit in. I was terrified of any social gatherings so I never attended any school functions (dances, prom's, etc.) I did join band and choir because of my love of music. However, I *hated* any out-of-town functions because I had to be with so many people and at the time I hadn't learned how to cope with others so I was a "wallflower", preferring my own company because I was too terrified to try and talk with anyone thinking I would say or do something stupid. I'm sure I was thought of as "stuck up" by my peers. I usually stayed at home and did my school work so I got straight A's.

I had my first panic attack at the age of sixteen (oh god it was horrible!) My parents had (finally) gotten divorced at the beginning of my Junior year of high school and my mother moved me and my three remaining siblings to another town. I'd had two good friends in my previous high school but at the new high school I just kept to myself. After I graduated I discovered alcohol which changed my life for about a year. Suddenly I wasn't painfully shy anymore, I was the life of the party!!! I realized, rather sheepishly, that alcohol wasn't the answer after several rather frightening experiences so I went to college.

By this time I had learned to mimic how others reacted in certain social situations so I was able to maintain a job. I don't want to bore anyone with my life story so I will just say that up to now I have always preferred to remain alone (after two failed marriages). I'm a perfectionist and I have odd eating habits and routines. I have great empathy for others but have such difficulty expressing it. I am told I am a beautiful woman but I have a terrible time accepting compliments. Everyone who knows me can't understand why I prefer to live a life of solitude, why I don't want to go out and *do* things.

If anyone out there would like to respond to my commentary and give any specific information I should know about I would greatly appreciate it. Meanwhile, I will continue to research AS.

Thanks for reading this

We knew something was different about my niece by the time she was a toddler. She's now 6 years old and has been diagnosed with just about everything along the entire autism spectrum, from sensory integration dysfunction to autism (which is her current diagnosis), and including asperger's. Interestingly, many of the symptoms she has exhibited since infanthood would inspire my mom tell stories about my own infanthood. The running joke in my family is that my niece is more like me than her own mother, even the way she looks! Of course, I have had my suspicions about myself since my niece first became symptomatic, but I didn't want to make this about me, and I certainly didn't want a label. But curiosity got the best of me... So here I am at the age of 35, and I hopped on the internet to research sensory integration dysfunction in adults. I ran across a questionnaire and filled it out, ranking disconcertingly high in the emotional/social areas. So I called my sister, who knows so much about this from my niece's trials, and she suggested that I have asperger's. And that's what led me here today.

The thing is, I have lived my life in this situational analysis, memorizing every detail, finding logic in everything, solving problems from dusk until dawn, stepping back and asking myself if the world would fall off its axis if I don't do something to the degree of perfection that I desire - the whole time knowing that there is something different about me, but not sure how to put it into words... and then I read this article and your comments and I feel like I am on the verge of something ground-breaking to my life, my niece's life, and my son's life... I can't describe it other than to say that to non-aspie's, finding their own thoughts and feelings written on the internet by complete strangers would not generally be considered a relief, and yet I am relieved.

I guess this makes me self-diagnosed AS. But I have a very successful job, a wonderful husband (who knows of my AS suspicions), and a beautiful family. Would there be any reason to get a 'real' diagnosis?

I believe I was diagnosed with this condition at around age 9, because my parents had to remove me from public school because of excessive teasing. Of course, there was no official diagnosis at that time, and as a matter of fact autism was relatively unknown until the "Rain Man" movie of the late 1980's. I was raised primarily in boarding school, where the headmistress was super critical and seemed like everything I did was wrong. I rebelled against the confinement, and got a two-week stint in a funny farm as the result.

I am now 64 and have fought this demon my entire life. Opposite sex relationships tend to be extremely difficult, and have many times been victimized by those who at first were my friends but backed away. I wonder if AS is covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act, as I was recently fired from a job because someone apparently thought I was making advances toward her. I am in the mood to fight for my rights, but as a result I am right now being denied unemployment benefits and the case is in appeal. Any light you can shed on this would be greatly appreciated.

As for the two questions posed by MindReader (Why heroic? Why tend to partner) I have a notion or two.

In doing research after suspecting I had AS (after being misdiagnosed for Manic-D), I knew it was true when I read that one of the symptoms is 'wanting to save the world.'

Can't explain it in genetic terms, but I start 'problem solving' the minute someone communicates with me. I listen well, but can't stop the wheels from turning. Think Mr. Spock. It's like taking a conversation so literally - and these days everyone is whining about something - and processing it through until I have an answer. Problem is that it isn't always appropriate to resolve people's issues. But if you apply it to the world, it works great.

Relationships aren't that hard to master. Artful Aspies tend to master things they pursue - cooking, building, etc. There are a lot of attractive things about their 'wiring' - like never being bored - always a project.

For me, relationships that are merely interactive are childish - when a lot of time is spent on assumption of why the other acts a certain way, then time spent talking about feelings, then shortcomings... but then there is the kind of relationship where you are standing at the edge of the abyss; you hold hands, then leap into the unknown. If you can find that kind of trust, look no farther.

When I started doing my serious ‘save the world’ work, I found I didn’t want or need a partner. I still enjoy people, though. So I bought a farm with which to make a permaculture model with organic produce, greywater systems, etc. It has 5 little units on it. I am thinking about making it an Aspie Oasis, inviting others like me to live on it.

-Think Tank

I'm pretty sure people think Keanu Reeves is an aspie because he's very limited in the facial expression department and barely emotes. His speaking voice is lacking in recognizable inflection, and he seems to keep to himself. I've privately considered that he may be an aspie, but since I don't know him personally, I will only speculate. I won't label.

I'm not sure what the obsession with "outing" famous aspies is all about. Is it a fitting-in kind of thing, a coolness-by-proxy thing? I don't get it.

Don't get me wrong, I find a lot of comfort knowing there are other aspies out there willing to share their experiences (and people say we're antisocial!!!) and feelings on life and societal expectations and love and family and whatever else we can think of to share... that's why I'm on this site, making this comment. All I'm saying is: if a bunch of anonymous aspies want to get together on a website and comment to each other back and forth (you'll notice there's no reciprocity in leaving comments for each other to read) that's fine... who knows, one of the multitude of anon***** comments left here could very well have been left by Mr. Reeves himself... but unless he's willing to come right out and say it with pride, why don't we leave him alone?

Dr. Spock from Star Trek was Aspergian. :-)

If you suspect that someone close to you has asperger's, pick up a copy of "Look Me In The Eye", by John Elder Robison. It's a good read about his life from drop-out social outcast to KISS band technician then corporate executive engineer and beyond. What makes it more interesting is that he has Asperger's and identifies his condition from the onset in his book. The book was intended for others with Asperger's to connect with him and learn how to deal with it. Asperger's is not an embarrassing condition and there are ways to benefit from it... if identified and dealt with.

Reading the book myself, (it was recommended by a friend who suspected I have Asperger's), I was not insulted but rather touched that my friend gave me that much thought and consideration and felt I could learn from it.

Good luck.

I would not be surprised at all if the most secretive society in America turned out to be the Aspie's husbands and wives support group. I am sure Melinda and other Aspie wives have needed help many a time dealing with their brilliant Aspie husbands, but of course, publicizing the name of the group and its participants is no option. Certainly not in Silicon Valley or some Seattle neighborhood.

This said, I feel for, and admire Melinda. Looking at recent pictures of her in the press, I think that she looks drained. I would not say that she is aging well. Living with Bill has its rewards, but there comes a time where fatigue outweighs the rewards.

Two things elude me: why would a "successful" Aspie, a high achiever, especially one to whom humankind or a significant segment of the community is indebted (or at least should be) want to reach out to the rest? Their Aspiness has worked wonders for them and others in the general public. Why bother at all? Why go through the agony of trying to deal with the rest of society when you actively seek and enjoy your solitude? If it has worked for you until now, why fix it? Your agony trying to reach out (for what exactly?)could turn into another unweary friend's agony (not quite the desired result), which brings me to my other point.

I do not mean to sound harsh or judgmental ---I really am not-but an Aspie who enjoys his or her solitude, who is set in his or her routine and ways of communicating, or not communicating, who is inflexible is going to have to do 90% of the work if he or she sincerely seeks to reach out to the rest. To expect that the other-especially a potential romantic interest-is going to do a serious share of the work toward that end is unrealistic. If one AS wants to change things because deep down inside there is that unbearable sense of void, you will have to do the work. I have no doubt it can be done provided there is a clear understanding the onus is on the one seeking to reach out or change his or her life. It's one thing for a partner to understand and empathize; it's an entirely different thing for that other to find it in him/herself to be with one who is, after all, more comfortable in his or her world and had serious difficulties stepping out of it. There may be a tendency for an Aspie to want to mold the other into his/her closed world, bring him/her in, removed him/her when the mood strikes, hence the high failure risk. Again, I am not being judgmental, I am not trying to discourage, but I am realistic.

The good thing about knowing what the truth is most helpful in the sense the other won't feel offended or resentful for an otherwise socially odd conduct.

To undertake the challenge of sharing life or parts of it on an intimate level with one with AS requires youth and enthusiasm as well a certain deal of freshness and idealism. I humbly confess that having reached my mature years and having gone through the grinds of life including a difficult marriage with one with ADHD, I could not find it in me to take on the challenge. At this stage in my life, neither my (utmost) admiration nor (intense) attraction (or the possibility I could fall in love) could provide the necessary strength to pursue a romantic interest or close friendship with one so deeply set in his/her world, as I know that I would most likely have to bear the cross of the unending compromises such a relationship would demand of me. And I've been there, done that already in life...

I suspect that a more mature Melinda would have serious reservations about marrying Bill today.

Sometimes, we just have to accept life as it is. Sometimes we just have to accept that we do not have it all. Sometimes, we just have to accept that the timing is not right. We're only humans after all.

One of the secrets to my contentedness lies in the fact I do not delude myself and can recognize a mirage-however sublime-when I see it.

But again, if being AS has helped to achieve great things and placed one at the top, why bother to upset the status quo at all? That's a question which answer keeps eluding me.

MindReader

Sweet! Let's everybody slap some labels on ourselves, because as everyone knows, labels exonerate poor behavior and make everything alright.

@ Chrisfx

I am a programmer and the VA thinks I have Asperger. The reason to get tested is so you know and can deal with it.

I am a programmer and in the last two years I have had so many difficulties that I almost lost my job. The VA suggested Asperger. Now I know, now I can read up on it and recognize the symptoms. Now I can take steps to limit the damage. For me I was able to cope for however long I've had it, but as I grow older it is more difficult and started effecting my job. Now I and my employer can see the issue and not see me as lazy or goofing off.

It is like my soldiering days. If I know my enemy I can plan his defeat. How do you fight against something you can't see or understand? Now I know how to lessen the problems and use the positive things to my advantage rather than just stumble along in the dark thinking I am too dumb to be a programmer. Feeling something was wrong but not knowing... Now I know, now I can meet it on my terms.

Why do people want to be tested/diagnosed as there is no cure or meds for it? My son is ADD diagnosed and we have medication which helps but he sounds like a little aspie too. But what is the point of getting tested? He's smart and unusual and I can accept that.

I am a self-diagnosed Aspie. I have always been thought of by others as being weird and hard to get alone with. I have absolutely no friends or relatives that can tolerate me and that does lead to some lonely feelings.

I've learned to cope with it though. I find it unbelievably difficult to try and make eye contact for more than a few seconds. I have such a hard time understanding comical word play and body language. I've learned to approximate appropriate facial and body gestures as responses to conversation, but it’s a constant mental workout to do that.

I feel absolute empathy towards everyone. I don't choose to be this way but there is nothing I can do about it except pretend to be like everyone else.

It's so difficult to pretend you care when something awful happens and it triggers absolutely no emotional response inside of you. I once witnessed a SUV tumbling over and over from about 600 feet away and while everyone else was gasping and running towards it to help and calling 911, I was calmly sitting there counting the rolls. I had no feelings for the dude inside. I'm in my mid-twenties now and my life has been rough having AS but it's this condition that defines who I am. I wouldn't know what to do if I were any different.

It is tough, being of a species that desires social interaction; yet being so different, as to not fit in Socially.

My adult nephew has Aspergers. Life as a child was difficult for him - however, adult life is treating him well. He is bright and cool and quirky. He tends to be more empathetic - his eyes show his concern and sadness, but the words sometimes don't match. But his off-the-wall responses often make for some unanticipated laughter! I absolutely love my nephew and believe that the Aspergers is part of what makes him special.

I'm just wondering why some someone think Keanu Reeves has asperger's disorder? Has he said so or has he behaved strangely? I don't like it when people put put rumors about others. I want to know what's true.

I'm an 'Aspie', self diagnosed. I'm almost certainly on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but Aspie nonetheless.

Yes, I'm eccentric as hell. No, I don't have many friends, but those I do have are probably Aspies too. In the end, I'd say that for me, Aspergers has been more of a blessing than a curse. It gated me into unaware career choices years ago. The ability to concentrate and focus on problem solving and a wonderfully 'paranoid approach' to software development made me rich, if not famous. I'm a very lucky fellow. It is true: Living well is the best revenge.

At first, I didn't realize I too had this condition until I was in the sixth grade. Boy I am glad that I have very supportive parents that treated me like a son. Now im in ferndale high school and im not only getting 4.0's on my report cards, but also am getting high end compliments from my fellow teachers as well.

Ive just met a wonderful guy who has Aspergers, Before I came on here and read a little about it I had no idea what it was. I also think I may have Aspergers although I dont have the knowledge in math or science, I do plan on looking up more details and talking to a local doctor. In short Thank You for helping me understand a bit more.

I figured out i had Asperger's Syndrome in my fifties. It was nice to know I wasn't simply odd, but, hell, I'd lived with it for a half century without it killing me, and I was going to continue to live with it. My concentration on a specialized subject has generated a number of scholarly articles on English literary history in well-regarded learned journals. I guess I'll just have to resign myself to not having the potential to be a neurosurgeon or a backslapping used care salesman.

Hoping to help answer the person who questioned about their brother possibly having AS. I grew up with AS and had to make extreme changes in how I deal with people and intense situations. I find that I have a desire for people to explain things bluntly and obviously to me about how they feel. Those afflicted with AS tend to miss subtle nuances in body language and other forms of communication. I excelled by mimicking those around me and remembering how people reacted to similar situations. Yeah, it's kind of like lying, but it is one of those things we can't address at all times. Just as such if someone is in a wheelchair, you just ignore the wheelchair after awhile. I would just talk to him and explain your concern and express how you want help. You could also print out one of these articles and just plain show it to him. If he's got AS, he'll figure it out on his own just by reading it. We're good at that kind of stuff. Best of luck.-Justin

Life is better when you know what you're dealing with.

Greetings, I have AS. I met this guy years ago. We are together with a child now. Would be married if I had not gotten preg. Anyways, I wanted him to learn more about me and my probs. so he could understand me more. So, I did research on the net about AS. He was reading it, realized that it answered some things about him he was wondering about because he just thought he was weird. He realized he too has AS. I told my mother about it, she let me borrow a book about AS (She does research on my probs, has for many years.) Anyways, when I got the book from her she had already highlighted the section he follows under. Lol. She too thought he had it. The more and more he read it the more he thought he had it. He said she wanted to get checked out to find out if he had it. Well, when we were talking to his sister on the phone he told her he thought he had it. And that I had it(Heh we never told her that I had AS until then) well we come to find out at that time his sister too has AS. She was raised in a foster home and had failed to mention to her mother or brother that she had AS until then. Heh go figure that proves that we are prob right about him having AS. It is a good possibility he does have AS. We are going to have to have him checked out when we get a chance.(Kinda hard when you have no car and it is hard enough to see a psychiatrist.. as it is. You need referrals and a whole lot of mess.. it is so frustrating.)

I had a student in my first grade class who has aspergers. After lots of observations at school, I noticed things about my husband that were similar to this student. I think my husband has aspergers. He shows a lot of the symptoms, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. Any ideas?

Hi. I am almost positive that my brother has AS. It explains so much. He is depressed a lot, has sought counseling for depression, but still is isolated since he can't make friends. How do I approach him with the idea that he might have Aspergers? Thanks.

I know one person who has always been accused of being socially awkward and it turns out that he has Asperger's Syndrome. It just goes to show that you shouldn't judge someone without all of the information!