What Is a "Heart-To-Heart" Talk?

Patti Kate

A heart-to-heart talk refers to an honest conversation between two people. When sharing a heart-to-heart talk, the individuals involved will generally share innermost thoughts and feelings that may pertain to anything. A heart-to-heart talk typically involves confiding in the other person as well. Some individuals refer to this type of conversation as a heartfelt talk, or speaking from the heart,

A heart-to-heart talk usually occurs between close friends.
A heart-to-heart talk usually occurs between close friends.

Intimate details pertaining to relationships and experiences may be discussed shared during a heart-to-heart talk. This conversation usually takes place in private, and is therefore considered confidential. When one confides in another during a heart-to-heart talk, it typically with a trusted friend or loved one.

Heart-to-heart talks between romantic partners can lead to greater intimacy.
Heart-to-heart talks between romantic partners can lead to greater intimacy.

When a person is faced with strife or emotional turmoil in her life, she may find that sharing her feelings with a trusted confidant helps her cope. This is one aspect of a heart-to-heart talk. During a heartfelt conversation, one may be encouraged to "talk it all out" with the other person. She may ask for advice or opinions, or she may simply wish to have someone listen to her.

A "heart-to-heart" talk might solve a dispute between colleagues.
A "heart-to-heart" talk might solve a dispute between colleagues.

The western world recognizes the heart as being symbolic of love and tenderness. Therefore, a heart-to-heart talk means sharing a conversation with another one feels connected to. Heart-to-heart signifies that emotional connection between two people.

Sharing a heartfelt conversation with a trusted individual often means knowing whatever is said will not be told to another. This is why when one decides to speak from the heart, she will choose to confide in someone she trusts. Sharing with a close friend, parent, sibling, spouse, or partner often means not having to be worried about being betrayed.

The term "pouring your heart out" is another expression similar in meaning to a heart-to-heart talk. Typically, people will not hold back when sharing a heartfelt conversation. Feelings, thoughts, and experiences that may have been previously untold will be shared between the two individuals. One example of what might be disclosed in a candid talk is a confession to wrongdoing. This might be an admission of cheating or lying, or harboring bad feelings toward another.

Venting one's frustration may be another aspect of a heartfelt conversation. For instance, after being fired from one's job, or suffering a financial setback, a person might find comfort in expressing her disappointment and unhappiness with someone she can trust. For some individuals, verbalizing thoughts and feelings can often help to put things into perspective.

A heart-to-heart talk is often recommended for couples to resolve underlying issues.
A heart-to-heart talk is often recommended for couples to resolve underlying issues.

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Discussion Comments


@miriam98 - There’s something else worth mentioning. We live in a media driven world. Pick the wrong person to tell your “secret” too, and the next thing you know it can be online for everyone in the world to see and hear.

Celebrities know this all too well. So what do we do – trust no one? No, just be careful. I think in the final analysis mom and dad may be the last safe haven of trust in this regard.


@hamje32 - I’ve found that some people like to go to a professional therapist to vent their frustrations. While this is smart on one level, it doesn’t have the same impact as sharing with a friend.

A therapist is a trained professional, and he can help you work through your emotions. However, he is never going to be your friend, in the deepest sense of the term. He is paid by the hour and at best your problems will be the subject of a clinical analysis.

No, he won’t tell the world what you’re going through, but you may wind up as “Patient X” in a peer reviewed journal article he writes about you and other patients.


@miriam98 - I agree. I’d like to point out that you can also share your deepest feelings and frustrations with God too. Many people do that, in times of difficulty. You don’t have to be religious – just human.

The phrase “pour your heart out” is used in the Psalms, where King David poured out his petitions in prayer. If you read a lot of the Psalms you’ll find that most of his prayers were him having a heart to heart talk with God about the difficulties he faced in his life.

Why shouldn’t that work today? I think it does – and you know that God will never betray a trust.


With whom shall you have your heart to heart talk? I would be very careful in this regard. Close confidantes can easily betray a trust, especially if they stand to gain from your misfortune or perceived vulnerability.

I only share things with closest friends and they do the same with me. I value their friendship. Were I to violate that sacred trust, I would lose their friendship, and all I’d be stuck with are “fair-weather friends” with whom I can only have the vainest of surface level discussions.

These are not people I like to spend a lot of time with.

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