Although pets are legally considered property under U.S. law, ask nearly any pet owner, and they’ll say they’re part of the family. (They might object to the term “pet owner,” too, perhaps preferring “pet parent.”)
A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that 97% of U.S. pet owners consider their dogs, cats, and other animals to be members of the family. Just over half said they were just as valued as human family members. So perhaps it’s not surprising that disputes over pet custody are on the rise, with numerous states trying to navigate the murky question of who gets the family dog when a marriage breaks down.
Eight U.S. states (and the District of Columbia) have passed laws allowing joint custody of pets. This is a relatively new trend that began with Alaska in 2017, with Rhode Island, New York, New Hampshire, Maine, Illinois, Delaware, and California following suit. In addition to enshrining the pet’s basic rights to shelter, food, and veterinary care, these laws take into account the relationships and emotional bonds that the animals share with their owners.
Although joint custody arrangements can alleviate some of the heartache of saying goodbye to a beloved pet amid an emotionally draining divorce, they are often not in the pet's best interest. For small caged animals or cats, which are territorial, frequently moving from place to place is incredibly stressful and would outweigh any benefit the pet felt from spending time with both owners. Although some dogs can cope with joint custody arrangements, many find the transitions difficult, especially if they happen on a weekly basis, as is the case in some arrangements.
Going to court to decide who gets custody of the pets is likely to be an expensive and time-consuming process, and there probably won't be any legal enforcement or oversight once the decision has been made. Though undoubtedly an awkward subject to broach, sitting down to discuss “Who gets the dog?” in the event of a divorce can save a lot of future emotional turmoil. Pets can be included in prenuptial agreements, and an increasing number of couples are signing “pet nups” (prenuptial agreements concerning pets) to put the welfare of their pets first.
Fighting over fur babies:
- Pet custody disputes are also on the rise in the U.K. The animal charity Blue Cross takes in around four pets every week due to conflict over who will take care of the animal after a relationship ends.
- Blue Cross provides downloadable “Pet Nup” and “Deed of Agreement” forms on its website so that couples can fill in the details of the physical and financial arrangements for pet care and ownership (including joint care) in the event of a separation, divorce, or breakup.
- A recent UK survey found that although around 70% of dog owners in cohabiting relationships have had the “Who gets the dog?” chat, fewer than 10% of couples have put any kind of formal agreement in place.
