How do I Write a Love Letter?

Michael Pollick

With the increasing popularity of email, instant messaging, tweets, and other short bursts of communication, the act of letter writing has started to become a lost art. There are times, however, when a person needs to know how to write a love letter in order to express a much deeper emotion. Writing a love letter, especially in this day and age, often involves using an intimate and heightened writing style closer to poetry than prose. The sender should want to write a love letter which leaves a lasting impression on the recipient, or inspires the recipient to return the sentiments.

Love letters can be used to solve romantic issues.
Love letters can be used to solve romantic issues.

When writing a love letter, it helps to be in love. This means the writer should be in an emotional state where deeper feelings and even some sense of vulnerability can be experienced first-hand. The focus should be on the recipient and only the recipient. What qualities does this person possess which the writer finds to be inspirational or intriguing? Those romantic qualities and attributes should form the framework of the love letter, going from the general to the specific. A husband may admire his wife's compassion for others, for example, then provide more personal details: "I love the way you show your compassion for others, like the time you took in that stray kitten and nursed it back to health, or when I was discouraged about life and you just held my hand and listened."

Romantic language is often featured in a love letter.
Romantic language is often featured in a love letter.

It would be difficult to write a love letter without using some heightened or romantic language, but the sentiment behind the language should still ring true and not sound artificial. "I love the way your hair shimmers in the moonlight, and the way your eyes sparkle whenever you laugh." would be perfectly acceptable in a modern love letter, but using archaic or flowery language would not be. "Your eyes are bluer than the deepest azure waves of a distant ocean, and your lips are glazed with the dew of a thousand morning glories." might work in a collection of 18th century love poems, but not necessarily in a modern love letter. It is more important to express feelings of deep emotion or high praise for the letter's recipient in the writer's own language than to recreate an Elizabeth Barrett-Browning love poem.

There may also be times when it is better to write a love letter rather than leave romantic matters unresolved. A person saying goodbye to a loved one may want to share all of the things he or she will miss about his or her significant other while away. This type of love letter should be very honest and straightforward, since it may be the last communication for a long time. Such a letter should include a few specific things the writer will remember while he or she is away, along with some positive affirmation that the relationship will survive during the time the couple must be apart. A love letter should also end on a positive note about the future, including long-term romantic hopes and aspirations.

A quality love letter doesn't necessarily need to read as a flowery or romantic correspondence to be effective, however. As long as the writer expresses his or her most honest emotions in a way the recipient should instinctively recognize and appreciate, he or she has written the perfect love letter.

Love letters can be used to express deep emotions.
Love letters can be used to express deep emotions.

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Discussion Comments


well said ellefagan. I like it


This WiseGeek entry is a true one and fine - the thing that works is expression that *shows* the love is real. For example: "I love the way dial a cell - you show a special style all your own.", or, "I love the way you like guacamole as much as I do.", or,

"I love it that you care about me, from moment to moment. You really pay attention and make me feel I matter to you." Or, "I love it that we laugh about the same things. With you, my laughter is good again - no longer the cynical or sarcastic tone it took when I was alone."

Even such simple statements as these say love better than high-flown phrases of a general and less personal nature. To love a special person is supposed to be "unique in all the world!" and the love notes should reflect that - for the most part. This is not to say that fun and exultant and exuberant outrageous praise is not appreciated -- most people like some of that too! :-) I know I do!

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