How do I Write a Child Support Letter?

Lainie Petersen

If you are required to pay child support, you may occasionally need to communicate with both the courts and any government agencies that have jurisdiction over your case. To do this, you may need to send a child support letter in accordance with that court or agency’s policies. Before sending a letter, it is a good idea to contact the agency to find out if there is a form that you should fill out instead of writing a letter. This can save you a lot of time and expedite any business that you have with the agency. If you do have to write a letter yourself, it is important that your request is stated clearly, that you identify yourself and your case, and that you retain proof of mailing the letter for your records.

The number of children that a person has is typically considered in determining the amount of child support that she or he must pay.
The number of children that a person has is typically considered in determining the amount of child support that she or he must pay.

Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case. If your children are receiving any kind of government benefits, you may be required to submit a letter in which you state that you are paying child support, as well as pertinent information about the amount of child support you pay and how often you pay it. If there are changes in your obligation and your payments are automatically deducted from your paycheck, you may likewise need to request that your family court send a child support letter on your behalf to your employer's payroll department. In the US, state laws may also require anyone who starts a business or applies for a professional license to complete a letter or form that states that he or she either has no child support obligations or is in compliance with an agreement.

Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case.
Parents who pay child support may have to communicate with more than one agency or organization about their case.

Depending on the laws in your area, it may not be a good idea to write directly to the judge. If you have an issue that you need to discuss with him or her, you may want to first seek legal advice and then petition the court for a hearing. When you do have to write a letter to other officials or agencies, it is crucial that whoever reads your letter is able to identify your case and look up your file. Be sure to include your full name, the name or names of your children, as well as your address, phone number, and case identification number. Always date and sign your letter and make a copy for your records. You may need to refer to it in further communication with child support officials.

Child support is designed to help custodial parents pay for their children's expenses.
Child support is designed to help custodial parents pay for their children's expenses.

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Discussion Comments


Note: Not all fathers are deadbeats. There are deadbeat mothers, as well, and maybe someone should come up with a negative name for all the mothers out there who receive their child support but do not allow those paying fathers to see their children. And the most idiotic solution to non-payment or someone getting in arrears in their child support is jail. Once in jail, the parent (if they have a good job) may lose that job and then where is the money going to come from? Giving someone a record is not going to be a favorable way is ensure employment in the future. Duh!

Everyone is so on the side of condemning the father, but not the mother who doesn't allow the child they created together to have a healthy relationship with both parents. If, as parents, you're all so concerned about getting "financial justice" for your child, you should be equally concerned about providing mental, emotional and spiritual justice for said child. The benefits of two cooperating and constructive parents in a child life is vital to a child's growth.

Girls need their fathers to shape how she views herself and how she expects to be treated by other men for the rest of her life. Mothers who are raising daughters and continually speak negatively about their fathers do their daughters a disservice and shape that daughters' attitudes towards men in general as negative.

And boys need their fathers to help them to manage their emotions and to teach them what it means to be a man. Having never been boys, women often have only a vague notion of how to go about rearing them. Boys are the big losers when families split.

Bottom line: Just because a relationship between two grown people ends, your children's relationships and their need for the love and security of both parents doesn't. Learn to lead by example and truly be an example.

Honestly, it all comes down to money: the lawyers, the court and the child support agencies. As long as parents refuse to come together and do what's best and right for their children and stop making it personal and about their hurt feelings because he or she left me and start taking care of those gifts God gave them to teach, then our children will continue to be broken.

From a divorced mother of three adult children whose father paid child support,visited regularly and provided emotional support to his children who then grew into three college (all with masters) graduates and are self-sufficient. P.S. I know my situation is, or may be thought to be an exception to the rule, but if you work hard, guide firmly and love strong together as equal parents, you can make any exception the rule! God bless all parents. This is not a easy road.


How do you prove that a deadbeat dad is earning income "under the table" and therefore avoiding all child support payments?

I know a single mother of four (all from the same deadbeat) who has a court order for him to pay $500/month (for four children!) and he isn't even paying it! He lives in the house four times the size of his children's tiny rental row home, drives a truck with a logo for the carpet cleaning business his mother owns, has told people he is working and has been seen purchasing items, out with a girlfriend and yet when they try to garnish his wages, his employer (a.k.a. his mother) states that he is no longer an employee. Meanwhile, the mother of these four children is working a $10/hour job and getting minimal assistance from the state and is about to be homeless because of several months of no support payments, let alone not helping at all with child care or taking them to/from school, sports, activities, doctors, dentist, etc.


I feel like these deadbeat fathers need to pay up or just get locked up. I think it is sad that the system can just let an absent father get thousands of dollars behind. It needs to get better for these innocent babies. Agreed?


I think it's definitely worthwhile to see if there's a form for whatever it is you're trying to write a child support letter to a judge for. I've found that for most things where the court is involved, there's always going to be a form for it.

You can usually either go to the court directly and someone will help you find the form. Or, you can check online if you happen to have a computer. These days, pretty much everything is online. A lot of times, you can even type out your responses to the form, then print. This way everything is clear and legible.


@sunnySkys - I agree, I think it's important to get a lawyer, at least for the initial set-up process. I had a friend who was making a child support arrangement with her ex. They were on good terms, and they both agreed on everything. One of them messed up on some of the paperwork, and the whole process got derailed. They should have gotten a lawyer.

I think things get a little bit easier once the arrangement is set up though. If you just need to do something like child support modification, it shouldn't be too difficult to do that on your own.


I've never had to personally deal with child support, because I don't have any kids. But I have a few friends that have had to do things like a child support agreement letter, so I've seen some of the things they've went through.

So I have a few tips. If you're going to be dealing with any kind of court child support proceedings, on either side, just get a lawyer. Seriously. If you forget to fill out one tiny thing, or fill out a form wrong, it will delay you case or whatever you're trying to do for weeks, maybe months. A lawyer can help you avoid all the hassle.

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