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How can I Deal with Rude People?
Rude people are everywhere, and they often ruin people's days with their comments and bad attitudes. This isn't the intention of every such person, however, and sometimes, people are only being rude because they have had a bad day. There are effective ways to deal with rude people, without being mean yourself. Often, it's best to just ignore them or to be extra nice, although some people choose to call attention to the bad behavior in hopes of stopping it.
In many cases, the best way to deal with rude people is to ignore their rudeness. Often, comments are made that weren't meant to be rude in the first place, and if you take it personally, you may say something that can lead to a fight. As adults, this shouldn't be the desired outcome. Ignore the rude comment, and continue on with your day.
If someone in a customer service position is rude to you, try being excessively nice in return. Look them in their eyes, call them by name and smile. If they are a naturally rude person, you will be killing them with kindness. A person who is just having a bad day might feel better if you are nice. The favor may even be returned.
When someone you know personally is being rude, call him on it. Let the person know that you feel the way he treated you was rude and unnecessary, since he may not have done it intentionally. There is also a possibility that you were unknowingly rude and he just reacted, and if that is the case, you should apologize.
Coworkers can also be rude, especially in high-stress jobs. Many times, the stress is unintentionally taken out on other coworkers. If this happens to you, try to let it go. You have probably been snappy with others by mistake in the past.
Rude people seem to be all over the road during rush hour traffic, where they cut you off, tailgate, honk, and make rude hand gestures. The best way to deal with these people is to ignore them and keep on driving. You never know when you may encounter a person with a bad case of road rage, and there have even been incidents where road rage has been fatal.
It is always good to try to see the best in everyone. Most people aren't intentionally rude, and for those who are, it's best not to stoop to their level. Making rude comments back, or becoming physically aggressive, will only fuel the fire. Just step back, take a deep breath, and walk the other way. You will be the better person because of it.
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![Ignoring rudeness often is the best way to deal with it.]()
By: auremarIgnoring rudeness often is the best way to deal with it. -
![Discussing a rude remark with someone you know personally can clear the air.]()
By: mario beauregardDiscussing a rude remark with someone you know personally can clear the air. -
![High stress situations, like traffic jams, may bring about rudeness.]()
By: Monika WisniewskaHigh stress situations, like traffic jams, may bring about rudeness. -
![Even if a customer is rude, it's important to keep your cool and remain pleasant.]()
By: Andres RodriguezEven if a customer is rude, it's important to keep your cool and remain pleasant. -
![A person might be considered rude if he or she checks email while on a date.]()
By: Brian JacksonA person might be considered rude if he or she checks email while on a date.
Discussion Comments
"If you take it personally, you may say something that can lead to a fight. As adults, this shouldn't be the desired outcome. "
How can one generalize in this way? Feedback and even a (verbal) fight can be constructive. It depends.
Humans are just imbeciles. That is why they 'act' rude; they *are* rude!
Thank you for the article. I just had an experience of being initially treated well and nicely by someone and then it turned into aggressive and disrespectful behavior with scandals and probably provocation of his friends to act mean (or they just saw him acting so and mimicked him)
My reaction initially, was to completely ignore the coarse language while I made a couple of remarks that there's probably something else that makes the person upset and angry, that does not concern me at all. It helped but I got tired and finally it went to becoming an uncontrollable scandal in front of my neighbours.
I also could not stand to reply back but tried to be constructive, so I was rude (showing that it is not going to be the same now after that) but with a purpose. Then I was waiting for excuses that I still didn't get. Time was passing and also it was my birthday, so I thought that probably it's better to forget and let it go and that he understood all that. But then it appeared not to be that way at all.
So then I explained to him with the assistance of a police officer assistance that was not a proper way of treating me and also that if his friends (with or without his provocation or allowance) were going to chase and annoy me, that was going to be a big problem for him, beginning with me filing an official complaint to the police. The guy was rude even while the officer was there.
Also after that, I told him that he offended me and I feel bad about that and that an apology would be very good, but that was up to his conscience. He probably didn't realize that and replied with a kind of joke, like wondering why did I write all that to him. But then I got back again a very rude reply.
Then I wrote to the person, "How can you dare to tell me something like that? And that's not allowed absolutely."
I guess he has some personal problems that he tries to project on to others, like me, and to vent his anger on them while they are absolutely not aware and not concerned with the reasons. Probably it'd be easier for him to talk about his problems or whatever bothers him so much and gradually resolve them. Maybe even some of those people would help him with this. Of course, it might be too late for that, now.
This is anon146648.
@BoatHugger: Thanks, I tried that, but we've figured out how to stay away from each other. I think I'm fine. My parents don't understand the severity, but I'm really fine now.
When I was younger, my mom used to use the phrase "Kill them with kindness". That was great advice. Rude people really hate it when they smart off to someone and the person reciprocates with kind words. Sometimes, that is hard to do but it is a great tactic!
@anon146648 -- First, you should probably make your parents aware of the situation. Let them know what is going on so that they can help you. Next, schools have an anti-bullying law now. You should talk to your teacher, school counselor, or principal. Tell them the severity of the problem and that you are not comfortable being in a class with him while he is bullying you.
Good luck to you!
Thanks, but I'm 10 years old, and a kid bothers me really horribly. I have a friend that's a boy, but the rude kid he claims he has no friends, so he "steals" my friend. He also claims that I shouldn't be friends with my friend, since he's a boy.
In 4th grade we were in the same class, but now in 5th, the school actually "noticed" and separated us. But, they were dumb enough to put us in the same math class and same recess period. Ugh. Is this ever going to end?
(P.S. Thank you WiseGeek for keeping me anonymous.)
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