There are very strict laws for reporting child abuse if you are a counselor, a teacher, a medical professional, an employee of a school district or a law enforcement worker. However, for the average person, these laws do not apply, and thus we often don’t know what to do should we suspect child abuse of a neighbor’s child, a friend of your child, or a child of a friend. Ethically, most feel that they should be bound to report child abuse if they suspect it, and this is generally a good guideline to follow.

Reporting child abuse is anonymous, thus one usually need not fear repercussions for reporting suspected child abuse. Normally one reports to one’s local child protection agency, or to the police department, if one feels relatively certain a child is being abused. Signs of child abuse might include frequent injuries, hearing extremely abusive language or hearing physical abuse directed at a child. You might also want to report suspicion of severe child neglect, for example kids being outside without supervision at a very young age, being left alone at a young age without supervision, seeming physically unwell all the time, or appearing starved or malnourished.

When reporting suspected child abuse or neglect its important to give as much information as possible about the child. If you know the age, the name, or can recall incidences where the child appeared to have suffered from abuse or neglect, these should all be reported. It’s also important to remember that not all suspected child abuse is child abuse. Some kids are extremely skinny and eat very well. A child that is unsupervised once may be the result of extraordinary circumstances. Children that seem chronically ill may have ongoing medical conditions. Some children are also prone to a high number of accidents.

In other words, simply because you suspect child abuse, doesn’t mean it is occurring. On the other hand, if you have actually witnessed child abuse, either verbal or physical, or if you have witnessed incidences of domestic violence in a home, a child is more at risk. Also, if you notice patterns of behavior, like frequently being outside unsupervised or young children being left unsupervised, you should report.

Sometimes our own standards of parenting are higher than another parent’s. A parent occasionally yelling at a kid may be unacceptable to you, but is not necessarily a reason to report. A parent always screaming at a kid, on the other hand, is verbal abuse, and warrants a call to the local child protective agency.

There are some occasions when you should report suspected child abuse immediately to emergency services rather than to the child protective agency. If you witness a child being abused, or you perhaps hear a domestic violence fight that is ongoing in a home next door, you should report immediately. If you hear the child being threatened with physical violence you should also waste no time in reporting. You still can remain anonymous, though you may need to meet with the police if suspected child abuse has occurred. However, a child in immediate danger of child abuse needs your help right away. It is not a subject to mull over for a few days.

It can be difficult to take on the role of neighborhood watchdog or be the person who “tells.” We’re often told as children that “tattling” is wrong. However, children have little protection in an abusive environment. They may not be able to report incidents themselves, or they may be so used to child abuse that they do not realize what they are experiencing is criminal and wrong. Stepping in and reporting can initiate an investigation, which may help to ensure the safety of children.

What you should avoid at any costs is direct confrontation of the abuser. This could put you at potential risk, especially in cases of spousal abuse. It could also tip off an abuser who would then have time to cover his or her tracks and threaten his children not to tell. Talking to the child, unless you are a professional, is also not a good idea. You might risk the child’s safety if he or she confides in you, and then lets this slip to his or her abuser.