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What Questions Should You Ask Your Boyfriend?

Good communication can be the difference between a relationship that endures and one that fizzles out quickly.
There are a lot of questions that you need to ask your boyfriend before becoming physically intimate with him.
Learning how men treat female family members can provide clues as to what type of boyfriends they will make.
It's important to ask about a potential partner's sexual history.
It is important to ask your boyfriend how his previous relationship ended and why.
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  • Written By: N. Madison
  • Edited By: Bronwyn Harris
  • Last Modified Date: 20 November 2014
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In the early stages of your relationship, you should ask your boyfriend about his relationship with his family members. Find out how he gets along with them. You'll particularly want to know how he feels about and treats his mother and sisters (if he has some). If he treats them with respect and love and has a genuine appreciation of the characteristics that make them unique, that's a good sign for you. If he displays a rather chauvinistic attitude and you're not into traditional male-female roles, you might do well to run the other way.

When you ask your boyfriend about his family, it is possible that he may answer that he is estranged from one or more of his family members. This doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad guy or a poor catch. It could mean that he was the victim of abuse, either of the physical or verbal variety; it could mean that there were just so many differences that taking some time away from each other was the best thing to do. Watch out, however, if his family relationships are on ice because of his own intolerance. If he becomes upset, angry, or disgusted when a family member doesn't do things the way he expects or wants, you can bet you may be in for the same treatment.

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Another important question to ask your boyfriend is how his previous relationships ended and why. You'll want to know what he considers unforgivable in a relationship and what he feels are good reasons to break up. It's a good sign if your boyfriend takes at least a little responsibility for the demise of some of his past relationships, as it's unlikely that he has always done everything exactly right. It's also nice if he has something good to say about at least a couple of his past girlfriends. If he spews hatred about each one, this could indicate an anger issue.

Ask your new boyfriend how you can expect him to act if he is angry or disappointed. Ask him whether he will be forthcoming about what's bothering him or if it's more his style to keep it quiet and bottled up. It's a good idea to encourage him to communicate openly with you concerning his feelings, even when the topic is unpleasant. Good communication can mean the difference between a relationship that lasts and one that goes up in flames rather quickly. If he says anything that indicates that he reacts violently in a relationship, you should strongly reconsider having him for a boyfriend; run the other way.

If you plan to become physically intimate with your boyfriend, ask him about his past sexual relationships. You don't need all the gory details, but you'll want to ask your boyfriend whether he's had a lot of sexual partners and whether he always took precautions to prevent STDs. If he did not always wear a condom in the past, you may want to suggest testing for STDs before you have sex with him. No matter what the result, however, it's important to remember that condom use can give you a good level of safety from STDs, and they are a good idea until you are 100-percent sure that your partner is free of STDs and is, and will remain, in a monogamous relationship with you.

Last but not least, ask your boyfriend meaningful questions about what he likes about you. Of course, it's very nice if he thinks you're beautiful and finds you physically attractive, but you also want to know what he likes about your personality. After all, you want to know that your guy will still like you on one of your most horrendous bad-hair days. You also want to know that he appreciates you for all the little things that make you unique.

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Discuss this Article

anon215364
Post 3

I think that when you meet someone you should not judge them by their past, and do not worry about their exes because you got him/her, so the exes do not matter. They are in the past for a reason, but here are some questions you can ask when you first meet him/her: Do you have any kids? Can you be faithful? Those are the main questions you need to know!

DinoLeash
Post 2

@stormyknight: I completely agree with you. As the article stated, sexual history is very important. If you are dating someone and you think it might turn into a serious relationship, it is crucial to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. I know it’s awkward to talk about things like that. One way that you could go about it would be to suggest that both of you go for testing together. If the feelings are strong enough, he won’t mind.

StormyKnight
Post 1

I don’t think there is any set of “good things to ask your boyfriend”. We are all different and what matters to me might not matter to you. I remember being a “young adult” and my mother telling me to look at anyone I dated as if I were going to marry them. I thought that was silly back then. However, I am now the mother of three teenagers and I can now appreciate my mother’s words.

You need to look at the things that really matter to you. Things such as religion, personality, coping skills, etc., are very important. If your boyfriend gets upset that you ask him certain questions, you might consider that a red flag.

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