I'm 15 years old and my father constantly yells and cusses at me when he's pissed off. he usually yells at me until i start crying and i ask him to stop yelling and cussing at me but then he says "its always about you, huh!"

My father is an alcoholic and usually passes out in his bar without making dinner or even ordering anything. my mother left when i was 10 months old so it's been me and my dad since then. I'm always getting yelled at for simple things such as my phone dying and me accidentally not answering it.

I'm usually scared to stand up to my father and tell him i need time away from him, so whenever we fight, i always end up locking myself in my room.

For some reason, even though my father ends up blaming things on me and says all i think about is myself even though the issue is him cussing at me. is this verbal abuse?

I am 28 years old, we have been married for two years now and we have a 18 months old son. My husband seems to constantly look for something wrong and blame me for whatever goes wrong in our lives.

When I try to talk to him or reason with him it always end up in a huge screaming match. He pushes the right button for me to snap, cry or yell and he follows by screaming louder and call me all the names f**bitch, whore, slut... we go on weeks without talking and then all is good and out of nowhere it starts again.

He shows no remorse what so ever and it scares me to see him that mad, so now I just walk away and don't respond.

Could this be my fault to argue with him or is this verbal/emotional abuse?

I'm in a verbally abusive relationship. my kids' father always talks down to me and makes me feel like I'm the worst person in the world.

He's always name-calling and making me feel like I'll never be good enough for him no matter what I do. He has threatened my life plenty of times and threatens every time he gets mad to take my son away.

He has been physical at least twice to me and has drawn a knife on me at least three times before. I am afraid to leave because I'm afraid he'll take my kids away and/or try to kill me. I am afraid of him but it is only by the grace of God and safety of my kids and myself why I remain.

I always try to hold in that hope that he'll change one day and that things will be better but he is a very negative and unhappy person who will go to whatever extent it takes to make me unhappy.

He says he wants to marry me and that I complete him but I am no fool and will not marry someone like that. I just need the courage to leave him and take the kids, maybe we can go into hiding or something as he has people constantly watching my every move and people who he says wants to kill me.

I'm free but not totally free. The reason i say that is because i finally left him. i pulled myself together and got out the relationship, but i still have deep scars and nightmares that will not go away.

I was verbally abused for nine years and I've been free from him for two years and i still need a lot of healing. People will tell me, "you left him you will be all right now," but I'm not.

i still have lots of anger, hurt, pain and all the other devilish things that come with abuse. I am in a post-traumatic group now but it still seems not to help. i really want to be who god created me to be and that's a strong confident women.

I wish i could write a book and name the book broken pieces. Because i feel like I've been broken into many pieces. i just need to pick the pieces up and mend them back together again. But how does one do that? I am on the road to recovery with god's help and my program i attend. I know that i will be all right but when will i be totally free? So if you're dealing with verbal abuse, hold on. change will come. keep the faith. Love, markeita -- someone who has been there.

I have a daughter who is 41, and has been in a relationship for nine years, and got pregnant at age 32. The father and her never married. While she was pregnant they started having problems and when my granddaughter was born it only got worse. My daughter used to be a loving person, but her personality has changed. My granddaughter's father made the comment that everything was fine until the baby was born.

When my granddaughter was walking and talking, at the age of two she saw her daddy curse, and become a violent person, and did a lot of destructive damage to personal things, and their home.

My daughter went on and became an rn, and i took care of my granddaughter from age seven weeks until this year, and she is nine years old.My daughter has said that she has been diagnosed with adhd, and my granddaughter has been diagnosed with add, since she was in first grade. My daughter was a very loving child, and had a good childhood, but her father and i got divorced when she was 11 years old.

I have another daughter who is two years younger, married and has three wonderful sons, and my grandsons whom i love very much too.

My daughter and my granddaughter's father are still living under the same roof, and things are no better, but my granddaughter has been put on Ritalin for add, and is losing weight because she does not eat, and her mother and daddy stay at each other, and do all this cursing and verbal abuse in front of their daughter, and she gets no help with home work, and they fix what they want to eat and really don't try to fix something that their daughter would like.

They show her no affection, or compassion, and treat her as an adult. Their home is very disorganized, and most of the time when they eat it is not a healthy meal, either fast food, or something that only they like. My granddaughter's daddy had an affair with another woman, and tried to put the blame on my daughter, and she pushed him into and affair. Not true, because you can't make someone do something if they don't want to in the first place.

My heart is broken, as i have tried to help my daughter, and granddaughter and my daughter only gets angry with me and blames me for anything that goes wrong. I am very concerned for my granddaughter's health and well being, but she can't see what is happening for her own problems, and won't let anyone help her. I don't know where to turn for help.

I just told my 80 year old mother not to call or email me anymore. I am the only one in town to help her and my dad but she started sending me these emails criticizing my counseling and saying I needed to go back to counseling and that I was tearing our family apart because I won't pretend like we have a great family and I won't see my brother who stole money from them for 20 years. Now he has wife no. 5 and she wants to pretend we are one big family. I was the one who said the pain of what my brother did and he did criminal things but they kept bailing him out. They even paid his child support because he was too lazy to work.

Anyway, the past is the past but I choose not to see him. So now I am the one tearing the family apart.

I feel guilty on one hand but glad I finally said something on the other hand. I felt like I had to because I kept thinking if I didn't then my mother was going to think it is ok to do what she has been doing. But now I feel bad too.

I have a 23 year old son who abuses me. He calls me a slut and a lot of other names. He is in college and having a lot of stress and I am the only one here he can take it out on.

I am letting him use my extra car and pay the insurance myself. I am presently going through a divorce after 31 years. My husband never scolded my son (I have 2 others 24 and 31.)(one their own).

Since his dad stopped giving him cash for food he also takes this out on me. I asked him more than once to get a job, even part time, to help out. he refuses to work for minimum wage. I don't want to kick my own son out, but I don't want to go insane!

I am hoping to get counseling soon. He has also threatened me many times over the years. Some days he's a real nice person, then totally crazy! I am hoping to have him go live with his dad real soon.

I'm going through that right now. My parents threaten me by telling me they will take me out of my room and make me live in the basement. Nothing I do, or what my two younger brothers, do is ever good enough.

I've come to the age where I just want to do things to spite them, i.e. not cleaning my room. They're obviously not going to help pay for college. Yet, they have plenty of money to go take a trip to China in February.

Social services has already been involved and we're all going to trial in December. We've already had two hearings. Before the first one, my parents drove us there and tried to convince us what they're doing is not wrong. They said it was them or a foster home.

Months before SS got involved, my father strangled me with my own coat. He brought that up during one time and tried to tell me to tell the court I was lying. He wanted me to say that never happened. That he handed me my coat. I'm not going to lie in December.

I'm scared for this coming Thanksgiving. Because after my brothers and I came back from living in a shelter, my aunt, my mother's sister called and yelled at me saying how dare I make her sister cry. How dare I, the oldest, screw up so much? She thought we were good kids. She said all that and more.

We're all going to her house for Thanksgiving.

I'm going to graduate high school soon. I will happy to leave, but I'm scared for my brothers.

it has been ten years me and my husband have been together and almost four years of marriage. we have one three year old baby girl and a son that is due to be born next month. he is a great dad but he is not the prefect husband. he says i'm too sensitive and i complain a lot. he is not the communicative type but i am. he hurts my feelings often. i'm confused. i feel weak and not appreciated enough. sometimes i feel like i don't know my husband anymore. i'm scared. last night i had a conversation that led up to an argument and he told me i'm stressing him out (me-- the one who is pregnant). i told him to tell how i'm stressing him so i could do something about it. he says just don't talk to me.

anon52108: Yes, it is abuse, and yes it can and will hurt your children. Your husband has no right to belittle you, and especially not in front of your children. He is probably also having sex with these other women, which puts you at risk for contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

Your children will learn it's all right to treat you like he does. Your sons will learn it's OK to treat all women that way (ensuring they will become abusers) and your daughters will learn it's OK to be treated that way, since you put up with it (ensuring they will become abused themselves). Also, your husband could certainly escalate the abuse to physical, and direct it against the children, also.

I may sound like a broken record, but please, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233). It's toll free and for anyone who has been abused in any way. Please contact them for your sake and for the sake of your children. They can help you.

can anyone tell me if what is happening to me is really verbal abuse. my husband always complains about everything i do. he always makes me feel like I have never done anything good enough for him. he puts me down in front of the kids and tells me how stupid I am, or calls me names. he always gets close to other women and then tells me that he was just helping them through a tough time when I do find out about them, and doesn't ever say he is sorry for what he does. and it doesn't seem to matter I am hurting, or what he is out doing with these women and then gets angry and then I feel like I have done something wrong, and I feel like I must walk on egg shells around him so he won't get angry.

he watches what he wants on tv. if he finds me watching something he insults me and tells me I am watching nonsense and then changes the channel. The same thing with the radio. my kids are young and I will only divorce him if this is abuse and can hurt my kids.

It doesn't really matter how long or briefly you've been married. Abuse is just that: abuse. I know it isn't a simple thing. I'm not implying anyone is naive or uneducated. However, sometimes people in abusive relationships need to be reminded that they are not trash and that they deserve a better life than being abused --in whatever form the abuse takes. It's easy to forget there's a different world outside the one where you're being called nasty names and being belittled all the time.

I take my thoughts from my cousin, who was abused by her ex-husband in every way it was possible to be abused. He's a textbook, serial abuser. My cousin isn't stupid, uneducated or naive. She just got caught up in this relationship and didn't know how to get out. My mom reminded her she loved her and that she was worthy of being loved by someone who truly cared about her.

This man's abuse began with verbal abuse. Then it escalated to physical, emotional, sexual-- you name it.

Sometimes abusers can be helped with counseling, but they have to want help.

I think people who post here are looking for some kind of lifeline. I stand firmly by what I said about calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You and all the people on here deserve better than to be treated like garbage. You're not garbage and nothing you've done in any way means you deserve to be abused. No one does.

To the 16-year-old girl. Your grandmother, sadly, sounds like she is in the end stages of dementia. Yes, you are being abused, and you need to talk to a trusted adult outside your family about it. Your grandmother sounds like she needs extra help and so do you and your mother. I am so sorry about your cats. Please get some help because she could turn violent against you or your mother next.

To Amy Pollick, You make it sound so simple and I am by no means naive or uneducated. However, I can't give in to ending a marriage that just began. I feel so angry and ashamed for not being more careful, especially after living all my life growing up with it. I feel almost crippled with indecisiveness.

I am 16 years old and I think I am suffering from verbal abuse. Could I have any advice?

I live with my mom and my sister (who now dorms at college) and my grandmother. My mom is a great person. When she and my dad divorced eight years ago we were begged by my grandmother to move and live with her. We were hesitant because we didn't want to intrude on anyone, but we took her offer graciously. She had been alone in her house for years and my uncles couldn't stand her constantly calling them and they would rarely visit her. We felt bad for her and thought we'd help her, maintain the house and keep her company.

I had two cats who she said were okay to bring with us and she and my uncle even picked us up at the airport with them. Less than a year later she started yelling at me for having them (they were in the basement) and she forced them outside one day and poured a kettle of water on them and it was winter. Because my cats were so nice, they didn't even scratch her or run away -- they froze to death and I found them when I came home from school.

My grandma has never really been liked by anyone, even our neighbors don't like her. She is a mean, bitter, old woman who also suffers from dementia and she is 87 years old. She manipulates everything my mom, sister and I say -- saying that we are "insulting" her. All we've ever said to her was "Nanny, the appliances are over 40 years old, we'll buy some new ones." She would say "I won't let the door in." She tells my mom, sister and I that we're all selfish and ungrateful brats, when we always say thank you and try to cook her meals and be nice.

She always talks to me how my father was an alcoholic who used to "touch" me when I was little.

I asked her today when she was yelling at me if she loved me. She didn't answer for five minutes and then said "yes" and walked away, and then two minutes later ran in my room and said how ungrateful I am, because I have a room with some pictures on my wall.

My mom had a heart attack a few years ago and she doesn't even care. She always shoves it in my mom's face that she got a divorce because my dad couldn't stand her anymore. (my mom divorced him because he lost our house and was an alcoholic).

My grandma always looks in my stuff even when i ask her politely not to, she still does.

I try to reason with her, but she just yells at me and calls me names. Is this abuse?

I appreciate any response! Thank you.

I was married 25 years. I have been divorced for 11. I was verbally abuse. Got help and got a free lawyer from the them (abuse hotline). I will tell you that it has been great except for the fact that after you have been abused for such a long time, you still tend to abuse yourself. You have to learn not to. You have relearn to be yourself and it is hard. It is worth it. If you don't recognize the abuse, you will never get out. Also people that don't know anything about it will not be able to help you. Some therapists will try to help, but they don't know much about verbal abuse, so get help from the people who help abusive behaviors. I am talking from experience. Don't wait. Getting help is also hard because you need to get from the right people. Also remember and don't forget this, you cannot do it alone. You will always feel that it will get better once you try to change things, but it gets better for a little while because the person who is doing the abuse doesn't have any remorse and thinks he or she is not doing anything wrong. Oh, yes, they say they are sorry, but it is part of the abuse. This is the way to get you get up and bring you down again. For those of you who don't want to leave because of your kids, you are doing wrong. One of my sons is an abuser. He tries to use the same characteristics of an abuser on me. It hurts me more. You need to tell your kids everything. I have a lot to say but maybe next time. One last thing: the very first thing for you to recognize in verbal abuse is learn the characteristics of an abused person and how their brain works. It will shock you.

I'm a 26 year old female. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. I raised my children as a single mother. I love my children and they are the greatest thing that have happened in my life. Two years ago I was involved in a relationship with a guy whom I thought was my best friend. he seemed so nice -- almost too good to be true. he had a low self esteem. I invited him into my life. he admitted to having feelings for me. he asked if I would allow him to pay a bill for me and I allowed him to. The verbal abuse started and I didn't realize it. my self esteem was lowered. he drove me to and from school and daycare. he was in my life for two years and then became verbally abusive. I decided to have nothing to do with him and erased him out of my life. After three months without him or his help he phoned me, offering me 32,000 dollars to buy a vehicle and pay bills. i agreed and took the money. It was the biggest mistake of my life. he stole 12,000 back so with the 25,000 I bought a vehicle and furniture and fixed up my house. He then consistently asked me out but I declined. He then made outrageous phone calls about me and my parenting. I had my children apprehended from school. my daughter was then ripped out of my arms based on suspicion of drug use. I didn't use drugs. I lost my children for two years and went home to find my house empty and trashed. All my furniture was stolen as well as my vehicle. it took me two years to get my family back with me. they are all in the process of coming home. I gave birth to another daughter who is three months old now and I'm trying to put the past behind me and take it as a lesson learned. Someone who doesn't respect themselves won't respect you and some advice: put your family first. Anything dishonestly gained will get your family into trouble.

I am a 47 year old and have been married for going on 25 years. my two kids are grown, 19 and 21. and i sit here and read these comments and say to myself i feel the same. my husband never has anything nice to say to me and all he does is cuss and raise hell all the time and really about nothing. if i get off work and i'm not home in 15 minutes, he's calling me and wants to know where I am. i can't go to the store without one of my kids with me and they stay at home with us and they hear this all the time. i work eight hours a day but I hear him say i never work, i never pay any bills and i have nothing except the clothes on my back. we have a double wide trailer and one and a half acres of land and two vehicles, all that in my name, but like i said I hear him say i have nothing -- and after 25 yrs of hearing this, it is about to take a toll on me. my self esteem is already bad enough because i never hear a kind word from him. It’s like i'm his maid, cook and housekeeper and i tell him this. i used to clam up and cry by myself, but i took a saying from a song (“harden your heart and swallow your tears”) and started giving him the words that he gives me back and i'm getting too old for him to act like he's my father and i tell him this. i've got so much that i want to do in my life – what’s left of it -- and in 25 years it just isn’t going anywhere. we hardly go out and he always watches what he wants to on tv. if i leave 5 or 10 minutes early for work he accuses me of running around on him. sometimes i hate to go home and wish i had to work 24 hours a day. he gripes and grumbles about everything but when i ask him to help me with stuff around the house his excuse is he's tired and he worked all day and i ask what do you think i did? i work eight hours a day, come home, cook, clean, wash clothes, pick up after him and he says i don’t do anything and i'm about to the point that, even though i love him I’m not sure if i'm still in love with him. I want to tell him, "See ya!" i'm a good-hearted person and i know that if i do leave there would be no going back but why would i want to go back of the same thing i've been in for 25 years because i know there is a life out there for me without all the verbal abuse i get every day.

My parents were married for 32 yrs. and all my life I have lived with the verbal abuse from my father. I was with my sons' father for only five months and it was a nightmare. Dealing with custody is difficult, I wonder when he will start treating my 3 year old son the same way. I tried to make sure I didn't make the same mistake and end up with another man that treated me the same as my father again. Well, my husband and I were married almost five months ago. The verbal abuse didn't start until shortly before we married and I thought it was just stress at the time. Now I have tried to confront him about this and he tells me that I am being mean and blaming him when he just is tired or moody. I feel so stupid for falling into the same thing all over again. I have just started seeing a counselor and am going to try to figure out what to do. Can't imagine getting divorced, but don't want to live like this when it is what I grew up with. Children of verbally abusive parents need help understanding things so they don't perpetuate the cycle of abuse. I see my brothers struggling with the same thing and it just breaks my heart. My father's parents were the same way and my paternal uncle is going through a divorce after more than twenty yrs. of marriage. My aunt finally had enough. I have communicated all of this to my husband but it is still not sinking in. He was also abused as a child by his father. How can it all stop? I am so sad and depressed right now. I have struggled with depression and self-harm for years. Haven't hurt myself for more than six years but am having a lot of anger right now and want to take it out on myself for being so stupid.

Anon46532: Yes, this is verbal abuse. It is *not* your fault your husband is in a bad mood all the time. Please, for your own emotional stability, get some help. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline toll-free at 800-799-7233. They can help you help yourself. You don't deserve to be treated like a piece of trash.

I'm not sure this is verbal abuse. My husband cusses a lot with the f word. I will ask him what is wrong and he will tell me to shut up before I make him mad. He is always in a bad mood. It's always because of something I have done. Like the house not being clean or money problems. Granted i'm not a great house keeper and I'm not very good with money. So maybe that is my fault. I try to talk to him and he just tells me all the things I do wrong and that he has told me before and I don't care enough to fix anything. I got my hair cut today and he sees me and says "I thought you were getting your hair cut." I work as much as he does and I make as much money our kids are in college, I thought would get better. When we talk he always talks about problems and his unhappiness. I ask him if he wants a divorce and he says I can move my fat a-- out; he is not going anywhere.

I am amazed that there are so many people out there like me. I have been married 31 years to my physical and verbally abusive husband. He is in jail as I speak. He shoved me and tried to choke me. My 12 year old was at home with me. He has been verbally abusive for years. I never did anything right, but he was the perfect person to others. It is his family he goes after. He has hurt my kids so much over the years, but I stayed. I ask myself that everyday --Why! I am getting a divorce now, but still I feel guilty because he is in jail. I know the reasons why but am so used to all the crap. I am going forward now. I hope he and I can become friends someday for our children and grandchildren. I love him still as he is the love of my life, but I refuse to be treated this way any more. I will listen to my kids, and set myself and them free. Thank God for my family, as I'd be lost without them for support.

I have been in a childless relationship for over 30 years. For the last 15 years my partner's harsh and hurtful comments have increased. Alcohol makes them worse. Recently retired, there is less balancing positive input from colleagues and my self confidence is suffering. Over the years my friends have disappeared, or live too far away and he is not very sociable generally. Reading these comments has helped to restore some of my self confidence. I'll never have the guts to leave at my age, even if I often feel like it and finances would not allow it anyway.

I totally agree on the verbal abuse situations. I am 20 years old and I have two little girls. I have been in a relationship for three years and i have now just realized that i am being verbally abused.

I get the blame for always over reacting about what my abuser thinks to be nothing. I have been told that my mom doesn't care about me or the child i have with my abuser. I have been told that everything is my fault.

My abuser tries to keep the child we have together from me and my first born child. And every time the baby falls or gets hurt, no matter if it's at his parents, it's always my fault. he claims that it all happened when the baby was in my care and only gets noticed at his parents home. My abuser tries to put me down using saying things like; i'm a bad mother. I can't do anything right. I'm a bad mother for letting the kids play when they take things from each other. Then my abuser wants to say "he's sorry", then start back abusing me.

I am very young and I am still trying to finish school, but not trying is not good enough to my abuser. I think he is has low self confidence with himself because of his weight. But i can't be a mean person back. I wasn't raised like that.

I have been depressed for a long time now. I want help to get out this relationship, but i don't know how. My abuser says things about my first child, which is not for him. He's always saying things like "If he had a baby for any other woman they wouldn't trip like i do". I'm tired of getting hurt and my oldest child gets put down. And of course both of my kids are hardly ever together. -kitty

My mother has verbally and emotionally abused me now for most of my adult life. You see she didn't raise me -- my grandparents did, and I feel that since my grandmother died, she has resented me. Me and my grandmother had a bond like no other and I called her mama all my life and still do. Me and my birth mother do not have a bond. I am 33 with a domestic partner and we have an 8-year-old daughter. My parents have already started manipulating my daughter and filling her head with crap. They try to run my life, they tell me what I can and can't do, how to raise my child, they never ask my permission to come and get her or to take her anywhere. they tell me she's going and they just come and get her. My mother tells me all the time I'm going to hell! How could god give her such a child like me? If it weren't for my partner I wouldn't be anything or have anything. If my grandmother was still living I wouldn't be gay. Whatever happens or whatever goes wrong, it's always my fault. My parents are in the church and they hurt me so much and all the time I just don't understand. I have some medical problems where most of the time it's hard for me to get out of the bed. they don't call to check on me or to see if I need anything. My sister-in-law has the same thing and they live 2 hours away but they will drop everything they are doing to go help her. Lately, things got really bad. I have not seen or spoken to my parents since then, but my mom let my dad believe a lie that I started it and I didn't. I absolutly cannot take the hurt and the pain anymore. when this happened I wanted to end my life. I want to move away from them --far away -- but I have bad credit and no money. what can I do? We live in a trailer that they bought for me so they could run my life. I need help. I can't do it anymore. They have made me feel like I am completly worthless, useless, incompetent and not worth living. They are going to do they exact same thing to my daughter if I don't get away from them and I can't allow that. Please help me! Chastity

I have always thought that maybe next time the yelling and swearing would stop.

That next time I could just not say anything and it would be okay. But after

30 years of marriage next time hasnt come. I am now called a nag because I ask

him to pick up his clothes or put the dishes in the dishwasher. Am always reminded he makes the money and I would be living in a slum if it weren't for him

He has always an opinion about everything and your thoughts are not valid. There is no touching for a long time. Even a gentle conversation is out of the question. I am living a friendless, lonely life but don't have the nerve to leave. Verbal abuse robs your soul.

I just got out of a five month relationship with an extreme verbal abuser. It was only after I got out of this relationship that I realized that verbally abusive relationships truly exist. He silenced me in every way possible- telling me I was always wrong and that I never believed in him. No matter what I said or how I said it, I was told that wasn't what I meant to say. He wanted to control who affected my life, who I was friends with, where I worked, and how much I *slept*. He even got offended when I told him I put my children first before anyone. "How dare you say you love your children more than me?", he'd say angrily.

Even though it was less than a year, this relationship felt like an eternity. Two days after our official break up, he found himself a younger, more gullible woman and though I'd feel compelled to contact her to let her know the type of man he is, I feel it would rehash all the old wounds.

As I type this I know all too well about verbal abuse. My son is almost 18 and lives with my mother. He is walking around here now threatening everyone. He abuses by cursing and saying the most horrible things. He is threatening to kill the dogs, to kill my mother, to bloody my face. I wonder how much of this is because of what he has been doing. He has taken himself off of all his tourette medication and has been smoking pot with friends and now is abusing because we will not give him money...any suggestions?

I am a newly married woman. My husband is in the military. He seemed to be a great guy. Now that we are married he says to me that I like to make him angry, he makes threats that he will destroy things that make me happy, he pushed me once and each time after these arguments took place, he would apologize.

I am not very comfortable with him sexually anymore because he is beginning to abuse sex as well. I am beginning to become afraid of him. I don't like it at all.

I didn't realise there were so many people out there just like me.

I have been married for 22yrs and verbally abused for 12 of them. The severity started 5 yrs ago.

Where it used to be sporadic it is now daily, 24hrs a day.

I am exhausted, he has convinced me on many occasions that it's all my fault even when I'm just lying in bed and he comes in to have a go at me, for silly things like not having enough cat food.

His favourite is telling me what a bad mother I am after he belts our son and I'm trying to tear him away from him.

Some days he convinces the children and they too start abusing me, having 3 teenagers who are going through their own roller coasters as it is. Getting threefold is very hard and I'm losing my self esteem and most of all strength and will.

I wish there was any easy answer that I could give to those that have bore the brunt of a verbally abusive partner, spouse, parent. But all I can offer is this bit of encouragement. You are not the sum of someone else's expectations. You are who you are and no one is responsible for your happiness other than you.

I know from my own experience that if allowed the pain inflicted by someone's words resonate deeper than a punch or a kick. Look deep inside your self and I promise the strength and willingness to move on is there for the taking. I know that the feeling of failure or the pressure from family or friends might make things seem tougher but the truth is no one truly knows what you must endure day in and day out, dealing with the highs and the lows and never knowing what exactly sets those mood swings in motion.

I was fortunate enough in my own experience to find someone to support me and see me for the person I am on the inside and through that I have gained the strength needed to move away from those that caused me harm. Not that they are doing it intentionally or not I have no real idea. All I know is that I need to take care of me and by doing so those around me will benefit ten fold.

Life is not easy and to be honest no one has ever promised me other wise but life is what you make it and I know that in time I will make it just fine.

For those of you with children look close and see what exactly this verbal abuse is doing to them. Honesty is the hardest thing sometimes and if you look at the situation with honesty you will gain the strength needed to free yourself and those you love from this abusive situation. Good luck to everyone and know that a special thought is out there for each and every person that needs it.

I am on my way out of a short abusive relationship. She makes comments about my education when not needed. She told me she has never dated someone who wasn't educated before. This is the day after I got laid off. Who needs to hear that? And it is always that I blame other people for my feelings and that I need to grow up and see that no one can make me feel anything. She says that she never wants anyone else to hurt me again or talk down to me, but she does. If someone else says something about her being mean she says that I have toxic friends.

It's so hard to walk away because I feel like I am in a new city and don't know many people and she is good to me in many other ways, but ultimately I know I cant live like this.

When there is something wrong with something you do each day it takes a toll on your spirit. I don't know if I am coming or going.

Just walk away and don't get into an argument with these types of people.

I usually get talked in a circle and feel like I am being extreme. I know I will miss her but I won't miss being the reason why all is wrong in the world.

I have lived with verbal abuse for 25 yrs and didn't realize what it was until now. Besides the alcoholism he has cheated on me twice, why don't I leave? Why do I still love him? I have two adopted kids who he loves, but why does he put so much pain in our life? People and friends think we are the perfect couple. He has not brought me down, I feel strong about who I am, and that saves me mentally. I just wish I could get him to see what he's doing to the whole family.

I am going through a divorce because I have lived with this behavior for 5 years of a 10 year marriage. It started when our children were born and my focus was not 100% on him.

My advice to a woman in this situation, get out before it is directed at your children. Get the very best representation that you can possibly afford and tell them exactly what he is doing. Chances are, they have seen it a 100 times and know just how to deal with it. My only regret is not leaving sooner. Stay strong, we are still living together and I am capturing as much of his behavior as I can. Soon, life will be different, I will heal and so will the children. This is no life to live in.

These sorts of people are not normal. You are normal for feeling so confused. I have to check myself often to see if this is for real. It is really happening, but you are not the one who is crazy. You are also not alone. My girlfriend who has been divorced for a year looked at me and said, I swear we were married to the same man. She is doing wonderfully!!

Pray a lot and ask others to pray for you, no matter who your God is.

Tell your children you love them. Be honest about your feelings with them. Tell them you are not upset because of them. Tell them everything is going to be ok and that you are going to make everything ok. If you can't take action for yourself, do it for your children.

Exercise every day as soon as you possibly can. Don't forget to eat and eat as healthy as possible. Stop drinking alcohol completely, it's depression's friend, just until you get through the rough patch.

And love on your children just as much as you can. Allow them to be around as many friends and family as possible so that they can feel normal even though it is not at home.

Don't pick any fights and don't get involved in any fights with your spouse, suck it up and ignore those hateful words.

Do A Random Act of Kindness Every Day! It will come back to you.

Be less involved in activities that need you like unnecessarily volunteering or helping out friends. Reach out to the friends that you do have and make sure they know what is going on.

If he wakes you up in the middle of the night to yell, leave and go see a friend, come back within an hour so that you will be at the house. Stop the behavior you will not tolerate.

Call the police if he locks you out of the house or touches you at all. Record the escalation by calling the police. I regret not calling when he kicked an ottoman at me breaking our coffee table. He denies it now. I regret not calling the police when he locked me out of the house, he denies it now.

Do not care about what any one else thinks. If they are your friend, they will understand when you get through all of this. Don't engage in others' fears, you have enough on your plate. If he starts to mess with one of your friends, shy away from them until this is over. You are putting them and you at risk. Let your family know exactly what is going on.

*Be strong. This will end* I am not there yet, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. God Bless.

I have same problem....I thought for a long time he just wanted the best for me but he freaks over every little detail now he is Arab and control is an issue. we have a 2 yr old.

I have someone at work that goes into a rage if I say something he disagrees with. It's been physical once but mostly a screaming rampage. He says he gets tunnel vision and doesn't know what he is doing until it's over. I have reported it but he threatened me with a lawsuit for defamation of character if I proceed with an investigation. All I really wanted was for it to document because he keeps promising never to do it again. Previous incidents were not documented.

It has taken me 10 months to realize that my new boss uses the same tactics as are described in this article. After relocating across the US and looking for an opportunity to grow in a new management position, I have found that it just isn't in the cards. At last, I know what the issues are. I am looking for a new job because I know that anybody who has risen to the top of the pile is totally in control. I am better than that. At least now I am aware and on guard.

Ive been verbally abused by my husband for 16 years ..afraid to walk out because of my children dont want to hurt them.

It's been 14 years and it still happens. Now we have a 9 year old and he promised he would stop when we had a child. I hate it. Therapists, medications... nothing stops him.

He is so unhappy and sad, he tells me it's my fault.

His family lives this way too :(

My only advice is to place as much distance as you can from the abuser and please make sure that you place in your decree that abuse has happened. This will serve you as record just in case you have children and a future custody case takes place. Sometimes the abuser will try to use your kids to harm you. Please surround yourself by people and tell people about it. Use recorders and video to catch him during his anger times. Remember that Verbal Abuse is not visible. People only see our reaction to the abuse but they do not see it. Sometimes we are portrayed as "Hystericals." I have a case going on right now and believe me, I surrounded myself with people and these people are the ones making my case valid.

I am trying to end a marriage based on verbal abuse and it's the hardest thing to maintain that it has actually happened, that it has affected my self esteem and that it will not change. I find myself angry one moment that I "let it happen" and resolved to move forward and doubtful the next "is it really that bad?" Funny enough, when I let down my guard and am self confident, there is always a remark made about some inadequacy or other...that crushes me yet again. What do I tell people? He was mean?

I go through this everyday. Its being 5 years and nothing has being done to help. Now I have been trying to get help but nothing at all.

I go through this and I have tried to prove it. Nothing happens, I have no proof. Its been happening since 5 years ago. Now in 2008 is when I tried to get as much help as I need. But nothing seems to work. I am almost 18 years old and even then I can't forget anything. Its gets worse every year, nothing seems to change regardless of what anyone tells those people abusing me in such a way. I am just glad that I am not the only one going through this.

I'm right there now, and have no idea how to escape.

Verbal abuse is a type of abuse that needs to be taken very seriously, as seriously as physical abuse. The problem is that verbal abuse does not leave visible scars or bruises, so many times it is overlooked or very hard to prove. However, verbal abuse can be worse for children than physical abuse, or at least as bad, because it makes people doubt their worth and their purpose.

As a teacher, verbal abuse is very hard to deal with because I can call child protective services if I see a bruise or a burn on a child, but if that child tells me that their parents tell them that they're worthless or that they wish the child was never born, there is not much that child protective services can do.

Remember, especially with children, that what you say really stays with them. If you say something that makes them think that they are stupid or worthless, you are really hurting them probably for the rest of their life.