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What Is the Effect of Narcissism on Marriage?
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  • Written By: T. Carrier
  • Edited By: John Allen
  • Copyright Protected:
    2003-2012
    Conjecture Corporation
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Marriage is ideally a partnership. If one individual in the relationship is abnormally self-involved, it can therefore create damaging effects. The effects of narcissism on marriage can include emotional abuse and a lack of trust and communication. Jealousy, infidelity, and parenting or professional conflicts are also very possible.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an officially recognized mental disorder. Possible symptoms of narcissism include the following: lack of empathy, exaggeration of accomplishments, entitlement, and an excessive need for attention and admiration. Abusive or lax parenting often creates the conditions for narcissism development, as can a naturally oversensitive temperament.

A lack of empathy and an exaggerated sense of self-importance may hinder the narcissistic individual from admitting faults. Therefore, the narcissist may blame his or her partner for problems and issues that are shared or solely the responsibility of the narcissist, such as intense jealousy. This shifting of blame is one of the main manifestations of narcissism in marriage counseling sessions. It can create resentment or a lowering of self-esteem in the spouse, which can ultimately create great damage to the partnership. If the narcissist refuses to admit his or her disorder and seek help, the damaging effects of narcissism on marriage may become long-term and permanent.

When the focus must always be on one spouse in the marriage, this can create further resentment and self-esteem issues for the non-narcissist. The spouse may also become an enabler to the narcissist's self-centered attitude, which will likely lead to further emotional drain. Further, one partner's need for constant adoration or praise diminishes the honesty and trust that is key to maintaining a healthy partnership. The narcissist may begin to seek this self-affirmation outside of the marriage, in which case infidelity can become a major effect of narcissism on marriage.

In some cases, the narcissist who lacks empathy and concern for others may become a manipulator. The narcissist’s wants and needs overrule the wants and needs of everyone else, including the spouse. This could create the conditions for emotional abuse as a major consequence of narcissism on marriage, or can lead to more specific problems like money troubles and budget-busting. Such behavior can also carry into the narcissist’s job, creating professional consequences that then facilitate more economic and personal strife. Social relationships forged by the couple could suffer a strong blow as well.

If the marriage includes children or plans for children, then the effects of narcissism on marriage may escalate. The non-narcissist partner may find himself or herself assuming the bulk of parenting duties. In addition, the narcissist’s behavioral patterns may carry over into interactions with the children, and this may prove ultimately damaging to the child’s psyche.

A marriage to a narcissistic spouse may or may not be salvageable. Emotional abuse can have a lifelong effect on the afflicted individual, and this abuse may sometimes evolve into physical abuse. When a union is not a balanced and true partnership, all parties involved suffer. The chances of the survival of the marriage are greatest when the narcissistic individual recognizes a change is needed and takes steps to ensure that change occurs, such as treating narcissism with professional counseling.

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