I began noticing alarming signals that I may be HIV positive in 2005. I last tested negative in 2004 and neglected being tested again until 2009. The clinic I went to informed me that my test had come back positive and suggested I immediately begin treatment.
The fatigue, nausea and night sweats are the worst and while my medication keeps my viral load down, my T-cell count has remained steadily low at about 200. I have been admitted to the hospital several times due to low white blood counts and blood pressure problems. The emotional aspect of knowing that your body is steadily succumbing to the virus is possibly worse than the physical aspects of the disease.
I have friends who have been positive longer than I have, but their symptoms did not progress nearly as rapidly as mine have. I think that if society were to more effectively approach the AIDS crisis, it would have been easier to accept that we were heading for a road bump. I hope that with education, our next generation will be better able to approach this disease.
It is uncomfortable knowing that, even though they don't say so, people are afraid of close contact with you. There have been times when I have been on as many as 22 different prescriptions for various symptoms. It is now normal to feel abnormal. I pray that science will find a cure one day soon for this disease that has no preference as to who it afflicts. I can't be the only one feeling this way and for whatever reason, I just wanted to put it out there.