Read the book called "The Sociopath Next Door" or "Without Conscience" by Dr. Hare and you will get a much better idea about these individuals. The good thing here is that people can make comments about this illness and they definitely tell a lot.

I think the basic difference between the two...

Sociopaths have no idea they are wrong, and Psychopaths know they are wrong, but do it anyway.

I think it's pointless (though tempting) to try to diagnose ourselves or other people with information that we find online or in books. Knowing about these traits or symptoms is more useful if we think about them more broadly: as elements that are associated with antisocial personalities. A lot of people may have some of them, to greater or lesser degrees and for a variety of reasons. Without labeling all of those people as sociopaths, we can benefit from realizing that these may be antisocial qualities.

Categories may be comforting in various ways, but we should ask ourselves whether they truly expand our understanding, or limit it according to a preconceived agenda, such as writing someone off in order to justify ourselves, or excusing unacceptable behavior on the basis of illness. I too am reading about this subject because of very troubling experiences I've had with a former partner. But my best judgment tells me not to judge, but rather to look for enlightenment and act accordingly.

"...make me feel as bad of a person..."

Again, in response to this, a psycho/sociopath wouldn't "feel bad as a person"; they simply don't feel...bad about their actions or their victims or otherwise. Borderline personalities and antisocial personalities (to some degree) know what they do is wrong and may feel remorse at times, but it's usually fleeting-and they are dependent on their ability to "blame others" in every sense. (These are only a couple of the Personality Disorders as defined by the DSM-IV, and my explanations are much over-generalized.) To "feel bad" about anything indicates some sort of lingering conscience/sense of morality and ethics.

Anonymous, as I work in MH

I've been researching psychopathy for the past two weeks for a project in school, and would like to respond to some of the things that have come up on this comment board using the knowledge I've gained thus far:

Crazybob, I believe your ex-wife was a psychopath, not a sociopath. Keep in mind that psychopaths are manipulative and can seem normal though they aren't, while sociopaths are less capable of blending in with those whom they can not relate.

With all due respect, anon5898, chances are you are not a psychopath.

According to Robert D. Hare, today's pioneer in the field of psychopathy, psychopaths are characterized by narcissistic qualities (this characteristic is included in the PCL-R, a diagnostic tool used for discerning psychopaths from regular criminals/citizens). Meaning, they only do things that bring themselves some sort of benefit. There would be no benefit to 'warning' readers of people like yourself.

Without a benefit, you would have no incentive to say a thing. You certainly wouldn't be motivated out of concern for these readers: that would mean you frown upon the effects of a psychopath on others. Quite frankly, a psychopath wouldn't care.

A lot of you have also claimed to know psychopaths. While I cannot say you are wrong--indeed, there are many in the world and supposedly chances are you're bound to meet at least one in your lifetime--, I would like to point out one thing that often helps to distinguish a psychopath from a regular sadistic jerk or sociopath.

This fact is highlighted by the article and myself: psychopaths are narcissists (this does not mean, however, that all narcissists are psychopaths). This fact combined with that which says they understand society and the importance of staying under the radar basically means that they don't act outwardly sadistic by nature. They are fundamentally built so that they are prime candidates for sadism, but they are more likely to be apathetic. Unless you have something to offer them, chances are they'll leave you alone. (Though, they are also characterized by a need for stimulation. I cannot say that I know enough about them to know what they do to stave off boredom. Which is why I will not say that any of you are wrong in your convictions that you've met/known a psychopath.)

And now I've nearly confused myself. But if you're interested in less confusing, more directly credible information on the characteristics of psychopathy, I strongly suggest researching the PCL-R (Psychopathy Check List-- Revised) and reading some of Hare's articles. They're specific and very informative. And, if you're me, quite interesting :).

Read the article, the psychopath is the manipulative "charmer", and probably has a job... While the sociopath isn't capable of holding a job...

I will disagree about most cops being psychopaths. Please, you're generalizing.

I've known two psychopaths and they weren't policemen, although they wanted to be security guards. My DH is a policeman, and he has a lot of integrity, and is not a psychopath. The key here is get away from the psychopaths and sociopaths and never go back. It can be done because I've done it.

Also know that when you're leaving is when you're the most in danger. So leave without telling them where you're going and don't leave a paper trail where you're going. I've gotten out, and have taken Psych, and am now graduating from college. Your life will be much better without them.

I was recently befriended by a psychopath. I know this person is one because she took personal delight in basically trying to rip out my uterus through my mind out of jealousy. Because this person is such a well-educated person, she knows not to use overt threats and instead has implied through the use of cultural references and psychological traps a threat to myself and my child. The police won't do anything unless she's trying to break into my home.

I feel used by this individual who sized me up as a mark, took advantage of my compassion and non-judgmental nature and then proceeded to abuse the friendship we did have to knock me down and try to destabilize me psychologically. I don't know if I could have seen this wreckage coming, but now I am smarter and wiser.

i'm divorcing a person who was diagnosed as bipolar but in reality after doing much research and my personal experiences, he is definitely a psychopath. He is social, charismatic on the outside, but when he is home he is evil. He has maliciously set out to hurt my family members, he has even deliberately hurt himself and blamed it on me. we have children together which makes matters worse. he is very manipulative and has shown violence. he has no remorse whatsoever even though he has apologized numerous times. He is a chronic liar and i just recently found out that because of him someone was killed and he has had no remorse about. he constantly blames me for his criminal charges which were directly resulted in violations to protective orders, i honestly believe he is going to try to kill me (not him personally) but no one believes me except family members. i finally decided to buy a gun but the problem i have is not no one knows that he is truly dangerous. and for many years he has gotten away with many criminal acts. even though i have custody of my children, i have not control in protecting them because he has met all the criteria of the court system. do you think i am overreacting?

I lived with a Sociopath for 10 years. At the beginning of the relationship he was a sweet talker, charmer, you name it, the perfect guy! But I had an awful feeling in my gut that it just wasn't right, that i should not be with him, but i ignored it and stayed anyway. Turned out, he made up a life that didnt exist, convinced me of all kinds of things, even that he was dying! He was a compulsive liar, manipulative, not in touch with reality at all, never took responsibility for his actions, obsessed with sex, no remorse for anything, no conscience, became violent, obsessed with me and controlling. I was afraid of him, afraid to leave him, which he made extremely difficult to do. That relationship was a nightmare, it ended over 5 years ago and he's still a nightmare today! He still harasses me, obsessed with me, convinced people of nasty things about me which are not true. I dont wish this type of guy on anyone.

i think it is psychopaths who are less organized than sociopaths. sociopaths are the ones who are able to blend into society while the psychopaths are the loners.

I'm quite certain that my cousin is a sociopath. We grew together as children and were always close right up into our 30's. It was in our 30's that I realized that I could no longer be around her. However, it was much earlier in our lives that I knew "something" was wrong with her. She cannot maintain an actual relationship. She has married twice only to almost immediately begin cheating. She completely degraded her first husband. She continues to use her present husband in unimaginable ways. Ways such as cheating on him, stealing from him, using drugs around him even though he despises such things. She is a very skilled thief and is in with many fences. I actually watched her walk into a Fred Meyer store and walk right back out with a huge $300 vacuum cleaner/carper cleaner. Then she took it to a fence that was the manager of a Toyota dealership! I think he gave her like fifty cents on the dollar. I asked her things like: "How can you do that stuff for a "living." She would say something like, "it's exciting." She did this sort of thing everyday to support her drug habit(s) as well as her everyday needs. She's been caught and gone to jail many times, but gets out because she has "befriended" a city police detective who gets her out of jail as long as she helps him set up drug dealers. When she sets up a successful bust she gets cash for it and uses the cash to buy her own drugs! Amazing! Busting drug dealers just so you can stay high! No conscious. No morals......(honestly, that goes for the cop too as he knows all to well who and what my cousin is. He's probably a "psychopath" using a "sociopath!" As I mentioned before, I cannot, will not be around her anymore. That breaks my heart as she is my blood and I love her. The worst part is that, if I'm not mistaking, this disorder is incurable. Is that true? Perhaps, someone out there can confirm??

Well....here I sit. at work. news since I last posted on this site. My soon-to-be-X-Sociopath is back with her X-husband. He only makes about 250K a year, so it's the obvious that she would work angles to get back with him. ( they are both dumb, after all, she attacked him with a hockey stick and broke his wrist about 6 years ago, amazing how people forget pain) In Feb, I received an e-mail from "his" girlfriend, stating that my X called her and left a message about how she and he were at a hotel and that she should be made aware of this.....the actual message was sent to me, and sure enough, it's her voice stating just that. The scary thing is this, her voice was calm, collected, and sweet...as if she were calling a boyfriend. since then, I've seen him at her house and my friends have told me that she told them, that she is "back with him"......keep in mind, we're not even divorced yet. She actually called me up last week and asked me if I wanted to "come over, get some thai food, and talk" and that "my son is gone to work"....implying we could be intimate. I said "yeah, NO, I'm not going to do that, the only thing we have to talk about is our divorce, do you have any questions about that?" and she said no. she is so sick she forgets that the fact i changed my life for her, doesn't even faze her....and that she's back with her x....good God. So..on I go. I look at it this way. "They" are out there. Sociopaths that is. they are a part of our society, and they blend in very well...the scary thing is, you can't tell who they are until it's too late. but by then, you're life is a wreck.

Very Good answer on the above and quite true as I am one and the answer describes me perfectly.

I married a psychopath. Didn't know he was one until recently but I knew something was wrong early on. Every 3 - 6 months there is a major meltdown & he can't deal with reality anymore. The classic charismatic psychopath, lies, manipulates, etc...

One comment from sociopath that, "we don't know what we're doing," I agree. I love the man to death though he is gone now ( he left ). He is so sick he needs a power of attorney over him. But he has a good heart & I believe he is severally mentally ill. I will always love him, he's just really messed up in his brain.

well, well, well.....there is light at the end....I think.

well, I married one...a Sociopath that is. SHE, yes, SHE was beautiful. a true knockout. 5'7", 108 lbs, blonde, blue, in shape...and a boob job to finish the get-up. she could deals on furniture, cars, clothes...heck she could even get free tea at the local 7-11. She would also get her way. period. before we got married, she was "fine". by no means enough red-flags to make me run. However, after we got married, within three months the game changed so badly that I am now living in fear. She and her son moved out to the house that her and her grandfather were flipping. Yes, she manipulated her WW2 Vet, 82 year old grandfather into flipping a house....with HIS money. then, at a convenient time, moved into it when we were having our problems. sound simple, or shallow, in summary let me share this: I've been slapped numerous times, punched in the face 5 times, kicked in the head, things thrown at me, hit in the face with items and to really get your goat, on our honeymoon, she punched me twice, threw a water bottle at me, and left for 5 1/2 hours, only to end up in some other guy's room. oh yeah, this was the last night of our honeymoon in cabo san lucas, Mexico. throw in the fact that I burned through 30 thousand in cash to support her half-cocked business and other money issues, oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she's trashed all of my stuff; trashed a 175 dollar radio/alarm clock, threw the other radio out the second story window and then trashed my grateful dead collection of 300 tapes, things I've had for 25 years. we were only married for 1 1/2 years, and it all happened in that time frame. The last time I got punched by her, I was going to call the police, and she said, in front of her grandfather "fine call the police, because YOU hit me first!".

I have only recently been awakened to the fact that I am a psychopath or more suitable a word "Psychopathy". I prefer that term than the norm as it doesn't make me feel as bad of a person. I have only recently been able to see the effect I have on people. I will say this to anyone, be careful of people like me. Everything you read about the actions we display is absolutely correct. ie, Manipulative, Spontaneous, Can't keep a job or relationship, Smooth talker, and the list goes on. I was a police officer for the past eight years and it was interesting to find that many people like myself hold positions in the same field. If you learn one thing from these articles is to be careful because we don't know what we do, it just happens without us thinking about it.

I appreciate the explanation. I am sure my soon to be ex- husband is a psychopath. He molested our 3 year old child. The problem I have is that my attorney understands he is sick but I don't think he knows how to dsasrm him with questions. I am working on the testimony now. How would you suggest questions should be asked? He can make up false feelings and seem to have some empathy when he doesn't? Thanks DG

okay, i think i get it. the key difference between psychopath and sociopaths is the "intent" and conciousness?, a sociopath isnt really aware of other peoples needs but a psychopath IS fully aware but just doesnt care? The latter masking their traits to fool people so they can be manipulated easily??