I am a little nervous posting this because, I suppose I am scared of what i may discover about myself. I guess this all begins when i was a young girl living alone with my mother and may i just add before anyone takes the wrong idea, a truly kind and wonderful woman. but things changed when she fell in love with and consequently married my step father, again he has always treated me like I was his own child. But shortly after they were married I started to do things in order to get my mother's attention even though I realise now that I had never lost it, and I truly regretted what I had done at the time, I ended up in local authority care because i had become too much of a handful for my parents to deal with and i hated it. I ran away constantly and even self harmed. My problem is that now that I am in my forties i find myself doing really stupid things but not. i think, for my own benefit but because i want to help my family. for example i was working in a shop and my husband, children and I were threatened with eviction, so i stole the money to clear the rent arrears to keep our house, was subsequently caught and very narrowly avoided a custodial sentence, and that narrow escape did sort me out for a while, but then a few years later, when neither of us were working, i found myself shoplifting to make sure that there was enough to pay the rent and feed us all. my husband is the most loving person i know and I would hate to lose him but it's as though i have some kind of self destruct thing going on inside and i can't get away from it. if somebody out there reads this and can get past the lousy punctuation. please point me. i don't know what to do or what i am.

I caught this comment above. And it described my 'friend' to a T:

I have no problem keeping work or hiding my true self from other people, but I still have no regard for the "feelings" of others, or their well-being even. I only care about my own well-being, when I actually care about anything at all. I do horrible things to people if they benefit me, but I will never be caught doing anything illegal(though I do such things, just nothing stupid enough to be incriminated) as it does not serve me well to be put into prison or anything similar.

I believe that I am probably more intelligent than most people similar to me, for some reason. I would advise everyone to avoid people like me, as we are not looking out for anybody but ourselves and if necessary will do anything necessary to hurt you if it is in our best interest. But please know, for whomever's sake, that none of us are ever truly happy, and I do believe that it is impossible for us to be so. That is our curse. We were all probably broken before we had the chance to not be so.

Not a lot of people are aware of sociopaths/ psychopaths. It took me a decade to find out. When I did it was like a shock of lightning. Suddenly the pandora's boxes of new knowledge were opened. Pretty much the knowledge of true evil. After her, I was at my weakest, because nobody believed me. She got away with it for a few years.

When a psychopath has everyone turned against you, and you're the innocent one, finally you see the darkest dark in the whole world. You start to question justice and morality, and people's stupidity. Its been a couple of years, and I am still finding that she can fool people. But one day she will be down, and down for good.

To all psychopaths there. Every step you take, someone in the know will take it upon themselves to track you down like sherlock tracks his criminals.

The downfall of my psychopath that I am tracking, is that she is very smart at playing people like a chess game, *but* when it comes to something closer to home, she is dumb as a bat.

Also, psychopaths never believe in their own evil. So you have them presenting the most polished of facade. Polished, because they have observed how to win sympathy and followings and having that lacking in themselves, have taken to the stage to act up an emmy award winning role. A lot succeed. Like mine is still succeeding.

When she is found out, I will post them all here, because I feel her doomsday is coming. She will be exposed like the laboratory rat being dissected, pinned and framed for a long time to come.

now i know my ex wife is a psychopath. thanks

some interesting discussion here. I would also suggest people check out transsociopathica.

Everyone is either a sociopath or pyschopath to an extent. It's human nature. We're all survivalists.

So who here has a Ph.D in Psychiatry/psychology? Just idly curious?

The psychologist Dr. Robert Saltzman has many good articles on psychopaths and sociopaths which are replies to questions submitted to him by psychopaths and their victims.

Anon 38195, (Post 55) "...otherwise, 100 years from now we could be living in a society run entirely by these scum." I think it can be argued that we are already, if you don't insist on 100 percent psychopaths. Look at Congress these days. Especially, I would argue, Republicans, though Democrats are certainly not immune. We *are* being ruled by psychopaths. People who can be charming, appeal to our emotions in order to be elected again and again to their posts, repeatedly lie about their opponents' legislation (death panels anyone?) and willingly sell themselves out to corporate interests instead of doing the job they were elected to do. Should a Congressman lose an election, many will quickly go to work for a corporation in an industry that they were formerly elected to regulate, lobby directly on their behalf, or join the boards of several of these companies, for an easy payday. One of the most blatant examples would be former California Rep. (R) Randall "Duke" Cunningham who, on his office stationary, wrote a list of amounts of bribes in thousands of dollars that would result in government contracts worth millions of dollars. So yes, we live in a country that is either run, or unduly influenced by psychopaths, though I don't claim that every member of Congress, Supreme Court judge, President or Vice President (with the exception of one recent example) is one.

I read whoever wrote in #50. I thought it was me writing. Sounded like that person and myself were living the same nightmare. However, she was smart enough to get out many years before me -- one of my top regrets. It would have saved my now adult children from so much abuse. It would have saved me from so much abuse. It would have saved other family members from financial and emotional abuse. It would have saved us from financial hardship. It would have saved us from so much embarrasment, and creative ways to explain the unexplainable, which made everyday life exhausting. It would have allowed me to be a stronger person, more protective mother, and had so much more peace and happiness for my children and myself. It was not just my ex-husband but his family as well that made leaving seem so out of reach. Between what would have been what some might call a "haunting" and the constant worry over the consequences that were told would happen to me if I attempted to leave. Just plain beaten down, and all I was needed for was to earn money, provide a comfortable place to be disrespected and abused in. I was never able to let my guard down or trust him at all for 22 years. Now my daughter is stuggling, and finding boyfriends who end up being a lot like her father, but my son does not have any of those issues, he just felt like he was nothing for the longest time, but now at 26 he is his own man. I've been divorced now for 4 years. I now have a wonderful man in my life who is the complete opposite of my ex husband and I feel happy to have some lfe now to enjoy and share. My daughter is always on my mind, in my prayers and in my life if she cares to be. She is 24 and trying so hard to pull herself together, but so angry and sad. Lost is not a good place to be. I will always be here if she ever wants to be found. All I can say is that everyone has their own story and reason they were in it. The bells can't be unrung but, whatever you do,whether it be stay or go, have the stregth to remember you have self worth. You are of value in this life. You have probably been told time and time again from the person making your life a living hell to stop being a nag, to leave them alone, to get away from them, to mind your own business. It's their life, even though you are the one providing it for them, and that's fine, they do have the right to live their life! *So do you*! Don't waste one more precious minute of it trying to figure out someone who cannot be figured out. Get yourself some help, and get yourself a life.

i met a psychopath at work. A girl, very attractive and very smart with a degree in Computer Science. She models on the side. She can perform exceptionally hard computations but if you talk to her about anything other then work, it's all about her nails, her hair, her BMW, her NFL boyfriend of the week, her, her, her.

When i first met her she openly confessed to me that she was trying to trap her NFL boyfriend by getting pregnant and scoffed(appeared confused) at my remarks on love versus money.

After a trip to see Mr. NFL, she said she cancelled that plan "because he has four kids by four other woman and she is not interested in sharing that money."

I noticed that she can be extremely charming one minute when she wants something and an hour later she can be unknowingly abrupt with people, almost like she forgets to be nice. My co-worker joked that she might be "loony like dexter" in her hearing four months ago. He got fired because he lied on his resume and i was told she reported him (Human resources friend said he saw her going in there).

She started taking an interest in me (i got an award at work). She is hot, but i knew she was trouble so i avoided her. She started playing pranks on me: pouring water on my chair, stealing my keyboard. I retaliated slightly but stopped when i realized what she was. So i found a new guy who, luckily, is a metro-sexual with rich folks and pointed them in the same direction. She forgot about me (thank God) and has started with him. A few women at work have warned him to be careful with her(She has no female friends and had told me that she intentionally stays away from female friendships.)

I am sorry to say it, but i hope he sticks with her because i may be a man, but i'm scared of that woman. She has every executive in her pocket. They all think she is very "charming".

i was confused for a long time as to how any one could be so unresponsive to others' feelings but this article explains that.

anon42153, it sounds like you're speaking for yourself. You know nothing about anyone here or about their personal lives/situations, yet you feel the need to express baseless assumptions which seem to be the fruit of some personal vendetta. Or a twisted sense of humor.

anon40505, you sound like you may be more of a antisocial personality than your ex husband. You are quick to blame him for issues in your relationship and not take the blame upon yourself. You portray yourself as the victim to garner pity and sympathy from others. You seem very narcissistic and self-absorbed. The same goes for many others here who tend to think the problems in their relationships are always all someone else's fault.

My ex-husband is a pscycopath, I know he will never change, thus the ex part. But I was wondering how likely are these genes to be passed down the line to our son? Right now, my son is 13 years old. He is a wonderful person to travel with, well liked by his teachers, he has some friends. He also has huge outbursts of anger, and he doesn't seem to care what he does to you when he is raging. I told him today about my brother drowned in the bathtub as a child. My mom left the room for half a minute to grab a towel. she was just rushing back in when my father (also a psychopath) held her arm and refused to let her go for 10 minutes on pain of death (literally). I told him because I thought he was old enough to understand, and I wanted to visit my brother's grave with him. I was locked out of my own house by him after telling my son that calling my mother a murderer was wrong. are these sociopath tendencies?

Hello, i have a question. I would like to know if my soon to be ex-husband is a psychopath or sociopath? Well, first, let me start by telling you a little bit about him. My husband and i have been together since i was 14 years of age. At first everything was well. But then he started abusing me emotionally. And for that reason, now i have a "low self esteem." He is selfish. He only cares about himself. And he always blames me for every wrong thing that happens in our relationship or for his mistakes. He is never to be blame! He never takes responsibilities for his own actions! He's always cheating on me behind my back. He uses drugs. Hes been in and out of prison since he was 17 yrs old for drug related issues and burglary. And now he is in prison for physically abusing me. He called his mom and told her that everything was my fault when it wasn't. He was also abusing my animals and kids. And he wrote me a letter telling me that to forgive him; that he loves me very much and that it will never happen again. But i told him, "No!" Because he always tells me the same stories over and over again just so i could give in. And yes, i have already filed for divorce. So i really would like to know if he is considered one of them. I will appreciate very much. Thank you!

I have had the experience of meeting a psychopath. He has a history with the VA and yet I'm the one who's called nuts. I've never seen a more skillful manipulator and liar. He always seems to come out looking like the greatest guy ever. I really believe he thinks he's all-powerful. Worse, he's even started to convince my son. I feel like I'm trying to fight with my hands tied. He's snowed everybody.

I have been married to my husband for 40+ years- yes I must be crazy! He convinced me to marry him- then I waited 2 1/2 years while he was in the brig for desertion and escape(that I knew nothing of). 2 years later our 1st child is born and he admits he is in love with me and another woman-and convinces me he will kill himself if I don't allow her to move into our house-yes I am stupid again. They finally leave and he eventually comes back after professing undying love and remorse. Numerous jobs, several affairs, drug addiction to everything, mental, physical, and verbal abuse and I tap my phone. Find out he and his current girlfriend are planning to convince me I need mental help-put me in a psych ward and live in my house. I confront him and he has a heart attack. That was 10 years ago. Since then he has had more heart attacks, brain surgery, stroke and seizures. Just found out he has Hep C-and while he exposed me to it-I have 0 viral load. Thank God. I take care of him because a divorce 10 years ago would have cost me my home, half my retirement, half my 401, etc-because I had "put up" with his behavior. I now know that was a cheap price. Our children rarely visit although they do call me, I never see my granchildren. For years he convinced me it was all my fault-I wasn't understanding, wasn't sexy enough, too thin, I was having affairs (never happened), I was too close to my family, friends (lost my friends). Only since I retired have I finally understood-so I moved us to another state-got new friends-and I now have a life. I wish it had not taken so long and I wish I could share my life with someone that really cared-but I will care for him till he dies. There has been no sex in ten years, he thinks the docs are lying about the Hep C, he can't drive, he resents me deserting him for church, groups, etc-but I go. When he threatens suicide i tell him I can't stop him. when he threatens to call my friends with lies I hand him the phone. when he threatens to kill my dogs I remind him I will call the police and he will go to jail. I made the mistake years ago of thinking I could change him-or change me-so we could have a good life together. Wrong! It was never his fault, never his blame. Don't make the mistake I made- or you will be cleaning the bottom of a man(?) you can't stand to touch.

Having known sociopaths and psychopaths personally, I found this one psychopath to very disgusting. He was in supervision and therefore abused his power. He was an ex-military, racist, irrational, belligerent, confrontational, sickeningly arrogant and may have been on medication because of his pattern of mood swings at work. For example, he would be your best friend when work started. Three hours later, he would become confrontational and provoking; it was a back-and-forth, then become friendly with you as work ended. Having a private education, Ivy-League in nature, I could see with this one person that two emotions underlined his behavior: anger and jealousy. For once, I saw something in a human being, just how basic and raw one could be. Yes, this was a psychopath, and the worst part of it he was in authority. One learns very quickly how to ignore this type of person, if only to avoid problems and bringing on problems for yourself. These types of people are predators, and I would argue bad for society for I saw first-hand how bad he made it for others simply because they were a racial minority.

This is all very interesting, but does it really matter? The finer points dividing a socio- from a psychopath are irrelevant; what matters is that these people are incurably immoral and a bane on society--and that we are breeding them. In the US (and I imagine it is similar in other western countries), one in 25 people is a socio/psychopath; that's one in every school classroom. It's time to do something about these people; build a culture in which immorality is not an evolutionary advantage--or it will keep on spreading. We are finally aware of our species' evolution; now is the time to change it--for the better. Otherwise, 100 years from now we could be living in a society run entirely by these scum.

I know that all psychopaths are not sociopaths, but is it correct to say all sociopaths are psychopaths?(I have unfortunately known boths types of people.)

Is it possible for someone to be both a psycopath and a sociopath?

The described differences and similarities seem both subtle and distinct. I have always thought a sociopath personalities developed earlier in life, "just born bad," and these people do not understand feelings of others or have the capacity to pretend to be "normal." I have thought of psychopaths as charming, manipulative and able to disguise their lack of empathy for others and developing their pathology later in life, perhaps in response to a traumatic event or over the course of time through external events. Anyhow, it is an interesting debate to be sure. anonymous

Until recently, I did not know that I was married to a psychopath for years. I know something was not right, even when I divorced him..he acted more and more violence toward me..attacking me with false accusuations and more..stalking..very manipulative and charming..acted so normal, but far from that. now that I know the truth, I can handle situation like more recently, he has been taking me back to court over issues with our children who are now adults. he is into the 'winning' thing. I can't seem to get rid of him, even though I have completely cut him off, he now uses court to harass me, using the adult children as pawns, making up false statements against me with his lawyer. interesting. he never seems to stop.

Listen up, you foolish ones - like me - who have made the incredible and naive mistake of getting involved with a person presenting sociopathic or psychopathic behaviors and attitudes: you need to start looking at yourselves, not the sociopath. If you are involved with someone who is hurting you and wrecking your life and you are more concerned about whether that person can be helped than about your own well being, then you better start looking at your own mental health first so you can get strong enough to leave the fool. These people do not change except only temporarily to get what they want. They will say whatever works in the moment to get what they want, to keep their personal gravy train running. They will suck the life force right out of you and blame you for everything that is wrong in the relationship. The lack of empathy for the lives of you and others and particularly for the pain they have caused *you* is perhaps *the* prominent presenting feature of their mental state. There is an astounding lack of real interest in your life and its victories and defeats. Your needs will *never* get met at any depth. You finally realise that they are willing to go to any length to preserve whatever gravy train you are providing and that you are merely a means to an end. If you stand up to any of this and act on your realisations, you will be demeaned, berated, accused of the most incredible BS, you will be countered, discounted, they will tell you what you are "really" thinking, what you "really" mean, and your feelings and ultimately your personhood will be completely trivialised. You need to emerge from your denial about these types and ditch them, get rid of them, run not walk, leave them in the dust as soon as you realise what you've unwittingly allowed into your life. There is no hope - I have spent 7 years hoping, 4 of them married to this loser, and I am telling you all the truth. Get out *now*, do not stay married once you realise what is happening. It will not get better. He will pretend he is getting better by saying and *maybe* doing whatever he has to to maintain the gravy train but you soon realise it is all a cheap ploy to his own ends. Get out now - and yes I have filed for divorce.

And p.s., my husband shows no interest whatsoever in the fact that my cat suddenly took sick and died recently. He asked no questions about my cat while he was at the emergency vet for 3 days, showed no interest in coming with me to visit the little cat, showed no interest in my emotional state and he knows how I love and baby my cats. He indicates that he could not have cared less, yet has told me many times that he really likes my cats. There are so many things he has lied about and the bottom line is, these types care *only* about things and situations that directly affect *them*. These people are the worst things that could ever happen to your life and again I will say it - lose them fast or you will regret it - and so will your pocketbook - for years to come. I can hardly wait to get this person out of my life. I only hope I and my bank account live through it enough to start a new, wiser life.

Like most of the things I have read in psychology, these definitions can fit most people in one way or another and is another example of how science has been misused. If you are the one who has been hurt, or injured or lost a job or just feel you have been ill treated by some on in your life, well obviously that person must be a "sociopath" or "psychopath". By applying a "disease" definition to the actions of another person we get to feel like we're the "normal" person. Here is an example, lets say a person finds out that the actions of the major employer in their community, which provides most of the jobs, is causing disease to the communities down stream due to pollution they are dumping in the river and this person proposes telling the national authoritys about it causing the business to be shut down and almost the entire town to lose its livelihood. Well, it would be a simple matter to label that person as "antisocial", after all, he is disregarding the feelings of others, causing harm etc. The truth is, there has to be a stricter standard applied than what the definitions above may imply before hauling off an labeling someone as a sociopath. Most everybody does things in their lives to further their own agenda. who wouldn't try to get along with a boss they don't like so they could get a raise or promotion? In a way, if a sociopathic person wasn't willing to change their behavior simply to get along, wouldn't that person actually be a more honest person than someone who acts that way merely to get ahead? And what defines holding a job down 5 years at one place, 10 years, 6 months? I think the very vagueness of the definitions imply that the conditions may not really exist. they are merely labels we put on others we don't like or may be jealous of.

ashgreymane here. This is horrible. I looked up the difference between a psycho- and socio- path, and came up with this. The number of people asking for answers here chills my blood; I am doing the same thing. I've had a number of people in my life who meet this criteria. Yes, they're all awful. I've also had one or two of them who are/were loyal to the point of...well, I don't know what. I have met psycho/socio-paths who are utterly loyal. Are they great people? Nooo. Why do they defend some of the weak or defenseless? Well, I don't know, but they quite often do. I suspect that it has to do with their idealized view of themselves. It offends them that anyone would dare to pick on/pick at what they themselves find ideal or perfect or they just like. Just a thought here. I personally have found these folks to often be open, kind, protective, and nurturing. Are they doing so for any reason other than to benefit themselves? No. Don't kid yourself. Smart, average, stupid, or in between, they will *all* use you, lie to you, or even be loyal to you for their own purposes, and make no mistake that this is what they are doing. Watch your e-mail, your phone, your regular mail, and so on---don't think you have any privacy or trust just because this person "loves" you. They may very well love you as well as they are able. This will not stop them from using you, from seeing you as an object for their use, or as their possession. They will resent seeing you attempt to be free. How dare you try to be free? They are egotistical, narcissistic, and on top of this have no ability to relate to the rest of humanity in a way most of us do. They are selfish. They can aso be generous, kind, give the appearance of being loving, and are perfectly capable of supporting you. This is because ultimately it supports their own cause; and sooner or later you will see this for yourself. When you get tired of living how you are living, you will stop. My best wishes and blessings to all of you who read this---don't give up. *It isn't you*!! love, ASH

I was involved in a relationship with a psychopath although I didn't know it at the time. She had many of the traits mentioned here and elsewhere, intelligent, charming, manipulative, violent temper, lack of emotion and remorse. It will now be far easier for me to recognize one in the future and stay away. I just wish psychopaths would only be allowed to date and marry each other(so this way they could hurt only other psychopaths) and not be allowed to gain any political or corporate power. That would solve many of the world's problems.

I was married to a sociopath. Lucky for me he had been diagnosed. When I started seeking answers I had something to go on. It has been 4 years since I left him. The divorce is final. I'm still healing. Post tramatic stress disorder.

From what I've read, a lot of people are mistaking symptoms for psychopathic behaviour when they are completely void in psychopaths. For example, the husband who doesn't have sex anymore, and there would be no reason for a true psychopath to post here warning others to stay clear of people like him, when it doesn't serve his ego, or gain him in any way.

A psychopath is very conscious of other people and their emotions, and actually can be very empathic because of this, but they are always or can choose to disconnect. The apparent empathy comes from objectivity, observation and often unusually high intelligence and foresight.

A psychopath is not inherently evil, one can have a set of morals, or a code of personal conduct, but they abide by their own and not by standard rules, and they will bend or break their morals if it serves a purpose higher on their agenda, for example, they may believe that killing children is wrong, but would kill one to save ten, and not get emotional. Although they will try to abide by laws and morality by everyone else's standards to avoid legal punishment and to blend in, unless it feeds their ego to stand out.

Psychopathic tendencies often allow people great success in the modern world, leading some experts to believe as it is genetic, that it is an evolutionary step, filling a gap, and leading to success - survival of the fittest - which is now in terms of mentality for our species.

Most movie heroes display the key traits of a psychopath, killing thousands of "bad guys" (by their standards) while still dropping one liners, with total disregard for the rules and their safety.

A sociopath, however, would be less likely to have a moral code and be more likely to be sadistic. A sociopath is driven by impulse, and often uncontrolled, and drawn to immediate gratification, whereas the psychopath would think of the consequences to avoid any unpleasant rebounds, like prison, and to leave themselves more openings for advantage in the future.

Sociopaths behaviour is more obvious, but their ability to lie is astounding because they don't care about anything at that moment, except getting away with whatever they have done, they are the sort that will steal from their own mothers, and not consider getting caught and when they do they will lie convincingly about it. A psychopath would steal from his mother if he thought he could get away with it, and would confess if it was advantageous to him, when caught, but if not he could lie through his teeth despite any evidence to the contrary, and often convincingly despite everything.

I have been married for 16 years. I could write volumes on all of my observations wondering why he is always angry. I have watched him become more and more distant over the past 10 years. When we met I was recently divorced. He had been sober for 6 months and said he had made so many people unhappy (3 marriages)for so many years he just wanted to make someone smile. He sent flowers to my office sometimes every day, was totally available 24/7. He told me he loved me within a month of dating, and said it frequently. When we finally had sex, which I ended up initiating, we would have it every day. We dated for 3 years. He asked me to marry him after a year and 1 half and gave me a gorgeous 1karat diamond. I broke it off after a 6 months engagement because I saw red flags but he was still wanting to see me and I was needy enough that I still kept seeing him. We ended up marrying after 3 years of dating.

He was never controlling as far as me getting together with my girlfriends. He hated going to anything social though. He complained constantly about *everything* and yet would do anything for me and for my daughters. I should mention he has been at the same job for 18 years and works very hard. However, beside gambling that is all he wants to do. As soon as we married the sex became less and less frequent. Now it has been over a year since we have had any intimacy. I don't believe he's having an affair. He is always home after work and doesn't go anywhere on the weekends. It's almost like sex was a means to an end.

He has so many character traits that I have been reading about. He doesn't seem to care about me at all but doesn't want a divorce. He is not and never has been physically abusive but is totally emotionally unavailable. We both love animals but when our dog died he laid in bed and wailed all evening. It was so over the top and I will never forget it. We all cried but he was inconsolable. I don't worry about him physically hurting me. Emotionally I am just about burned out. From what I've been reading this morning, there's no hope.

Has anyone else had some of these experiences and if so is there any way to get my needs met? I am 57. Don't really want to start over. I love my job, have awesome daughters, great friends but I am unhappy at home.

I think most of the comments here are mistaken. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but do believe myself to be a sociopath. I have no problem keeping work or hiding my true self from other people, but I still have no regard for the "feelings" of others, or their well-being even. I only care about my own well-being, when I actually care about anything at all. I do horrible things to people if they benefit me, but I will never be caught doing anything illegal(though I do such things, just nothing stupid enough to be incriminated) as it does not serve me well to be put into prison or anything similar.

I believe that I am probably more intelligent than most people similar to me, for some reason. I would advise everyone to avoid people like me, as we are not looking out for anybody but ourselves and if necessary will do anything necessary to hurt you if it is in our best interest. But please know, for whomever's sake, that none of us are ever truly happy, and I do believe that it is impossible for us to be so. That is our curse. We were all probably broken before we had the chance to not be so.

yea, im with the first commenter guy, recently dated a psychopath, i looked up psychology, cause thats what i wanna major in, then i saw some stuff bout abnormal psychology cause thats what i want to do with my major, then i went to psychopathology and i noticed that a lot of the behaviors that was supposed to be a psychopath, was almost exactly like my ex. im actually kinda proud of myself and its also really funny, cause she screwed me over, and now i know she is mentally ill, and i really hope im not the only person who knows her that has noticed it.

I briefly dated a true sociopath and had a friendship with one who was less of one than the first. The second one did have a sexual encounter, but, I believe luckily, the relationship we've had has drifted. I feel sorry for the rest of the people he has become close to. The former, he likes to break up with girls and women he's dated and get back with them, using them because they're familiar and easy. Luckily when he tried that trick with me, I said no. He still tried, and recently he tried to be friends and probably more, but he stayed the night and after I left for my class, he took some food and moved things around, when I confronted him, suddenly he was no longer available and continued to deny it.

The latter has a definite God-complex. He believes he can solve everyone's problems and control them, while turning a blind eye to his own. I've dealt with a variety of people like this, some more intense than others. But eventually you get better at recognizing the behavior and becoming strong enough to pull away. You don't need to solve their problems, just get away before they suck you dry.

I met a sociopath last year in July 2008. I had just lost my father and had returned from a 3 week trip to India where my company was outsourcing jobs. I have heard sociopaths find emotionally weak individuals to begin their pursuit. Well, I was at my weakest. He knew every button to push, and did it well. He did the testing to see how much I would take and still take him back into the relationship.

My friends were freaked out. They begged me to leave him as they felt my life was in danger. He moved himself into my condo. While there he found and read my journals. He destroyed them saying now no one had to worry about what I had done. He used them against me and used them to get to know me.

I finally kicked him out after finding out about the journals. Then it turned into an on and off again crazy mess.

He was such a charmer and provider, but as soon as I did not give him all my attention he accused me of cheating and not caring. There were a few times he became forceful and overpowered me to get me to sit down or to take away my things. One time he took my cell phone and I had to chase him to get it back. This last time I called the police as he tried to force his way into my home. I hope I have become smarter and this is the *last* time.

I have a friend who also was with a sociopath and she has been a help to me to see what he is and that he will never change. So for anyone that is here reading this, know that these words are true.

I've heard, had my situation (he wanted to marry me I said no) continued I'm certain I would have been physically abused if not dead. Leave, now, you can't change them, they will suck you dry and leave you when they are done. The pain only gets worse not better if you stay in the relationship.

is it possible for a sociopath to convert to a psychopath or vice versa

I was taught that the main difference between psychopath and sociopath is that a psychopath doesn't know the difference between right or wrong, a sociopath knows the difference between them, but doesn't care. It's a simplistic model of two very complex mental disorders, but if it has any merit at all, it's worth it to remember.

I would agree that a sociopath is sloppy in work can easily get caught up in his/her lies or manipulation were as a psychopath is more skilled and like the fact that others are able to see and fear their work most psychopaths are not loners some even have families and high paying jobs they see their work as art it's a challenge to them to undermine everyone else I have yet to have heard of or read about a psychopath who hasn't killed that part is the real joy, anyone can manipulate but very few can kill and kill again then go to church on sunday and work on monday.

To: anon17754

"What are psychopaths'/sociopaths' weaknesses? What makes them feel pain or hurt?"

Many - not all, but many - are extreme narcissists. If you hurt their ego, their reaction is visceral and extreme. Therefore, I do NOT recommend trying to push this button unless you are thoroughly trained to handle someone like that. Being in a public place and other such "precautions" are useless if the psychopath's/sociopath's reaction is so intense that they lose control and perspective.

I am a borderline, but I frequently get involved with psychopaths and sociopaths in my platonic and romantic relationships. Many of them can be very highly intelligent in their analysis of others' psyche, but can still have some astounding blind spots when it comes to their own. But please don't fool yourself into thinking that just because you might be aware of what they are before they are aware of it, that you have some kind of advantage over them. The only advantage you have is that you recognize it well enough to start making plans to sever your relationship with them.

I wonder if it is possible to craft a "gateway" -- some kind of implant designed to open communication in the blocked pathways in the brain of the psychopath -- and nurture them through the process of "awakening".

True, an adult brain could not possibly parallel the rapid development of the brain of a young child; however, some kind of result might be possible, given that as I understand it the brain tissue itself is atrophied in the uncommunicated areas but not necrotic.

If extremely careful therapy were applied and seizures well-controlled, it might actually be the first breakthrough in bringing down the wall of ice that encapsulates the brutal but tragic, ultimate loner for life.

The more I see the science, the more I think it just might work some day. I've heard other people discourse on it; the idea was not my own. But I find it valid in theory......PATRICE.

I finally realized that A person that I have been involved with for five years is a sociopath. He stole a handmade crewel embroidery picture from my house three years ago. He denied it of course. since then I have seen he plays mind games with me. He seems to have no conscience about things. I care about him but it is to the point that I resent him for hurting me. Is there any help for him out there? Is it too late?

There is in an interesting correlation in the amygdala of the brain between psychopaths and sociopaths. In psychopaths apparently there is no communication between the amygdala and the frontal cortex whereas the sociopath has some communication. In both the amygdala is smaller than normal. Psychopaths tend to be violent while sociopaths tend to be more like "con artists". Any comments?

I think the general argument here, correct me if I am wrong is that sociopath is more erratic and deals on impulse, this isn't to imply they are stupid rather to show the different characteristics from psychopaths who will have more tendency to try to blend in and hide their "dark passenger", I've done extensive research on the subject, I am in high school but I have been diagnosed as a psychopath which has led me to do so much research to see how people view this condition...

I dont agree with the statement that psychopaths are somehow smarter than sociopaths so they dont get caught. Serial killers are sociopaths and they kill 10 people before being caught and most cult leaders are also sociopaths and they last years. A sociopath may leave more evidence but they are much harder to catch because of their cunning personality and the fact that they can manipulate people and find their weaknesses within one minute of a conversation. I know this because i am a sociopath.

To put it even simpler:

regarding ( Right and Wrong ) psychopaths/sociopaths. The first doesn't really know the difference The second doesn't care.

What are psychopaths'/sociopaths' weaknesses? What makes them feel pain or hurt?

Read the book called "The Sociopath Next Door" or "Without Conscience" by Dr. Hare and you will get a much better idea about these individuals. The good thing here is that people can make comments about this illness and they definitely tell a lot.

I think the basic difference between the two...

Sociopaths have no idea they are wrong, and Psychopaths know they are wrong, but do it anyway.

I think it's pointless (though tempting) to try to diagnose ourselves or other people with information that we find online or in books. Knowing about these traits or symptoms is more useful if we think about them more broadly: as elements that are associated with antisocial personalities. A lot of people may have some of them, to greater or lesser degrees and for a variety of reasons. Without labeling all of those people as sociopaths, we can benefit from realizing that these may be antisocial qualities.

Categories may be comforting in various ways, but we should ask ourselves whether they truly expand our understanding, or limit it according to a preconceived agenda, such as writing someone off in order to justify ourselves, or excusing unacceptable behavior on the basis of illness. I too am reading about this subject because of very troubling experiences I've had with a former partner. But my best judgment tells me not to judge, but rather to look for enlightenment and act accordingly.

"...make me feel as bad of a person..."

Again, in response to this, a psycho/sociopath wouldn't "feel bad as a person"; they simply don't feel...bad about their actions or their victims or otherwise. Borderline personalities and antisocial personalities (to some degree) know what they do is wrong and may feel remorse at times, but it's usually fleeting-and they are dependent on their ability to "blame others" in every sense. (These are only a couple of the Personality Disorders as defined by the DSM-IV, and my explanations are much over-generalized.) To "feel bad" about anything indicates some sort of lingering conscience/sense of morality and ethics.

Anonymous, as I work in MH

I've been researching psychopathy for the past two weeks for a project in school, and would like to respond to some of the things that have come up on this comment board using the knowledge I've gained thus far:

Crazybob, I believe your ex-wife was a psychopath, not a sociopath. Keep in mind that psychopaths are manipulative and can seem normal though they aren't, while sociopaths are less capable of blending in with those whom they can not relate.

With all due respect, anon5898, chances are you are not a psychopath.

According to Robert D. Hare, today's pioneer in the field of psychopathy, psychopaths are characterized by narcissistic qualities (this characteristic is included in the PCL-R, a diagnostic tool used for discerning psychopaths from regular criminals/citizens). Meaning, they only do things that bring themselves some sort of benefit. There would be no benefit to 'warning' readers of people like yourself.

Without a benefit, you would have no incentive to say a thing. You certainly wouldn't be motivated out of concern for these readers: that would mean you frown upon the effects of a psychopath on others. Quite frankly, a psychopath wouldn't care.

A lot of you have also claimed to know psychopaths. While I cannot say you are wrong--indeed, there are many in the world and supposedly chances are you're bound to meet at least one in your lifetime--, I would like to point out one thing that often helps to distinguish a psychopath from a regular sadistic jerk or sociopath.

This fact is highlighted by the article and myself: psychopaths are narcissists (this does not mean, however, that all narcissists are psychopaths). This fact combined with that which says they understand society and the importance of staying under the radar basically means that they don't act outwardly sadistic by nature. They are fundamentally built so that they are prime candidates for sadism, but they are more likely to be apathetic. Unless you have something to offer them, chances are they'll leave you alone. (Though, they are also characterized by a need for stimulation. I cannot say that I know enough about them to know what they do to stave off boredom. Which is why I will not say that any of you are wrong in your convictions that you've met/known a psychopath.)

And now I've nearly confused myself. But if you're interested in less confusing, more directly credible information on the characteristics of psychopathy, I strongly suggest researching the PCL-R (Psychopathy Check List-- Revised) and reading some of Hare's articles. They're specific and very informative. And, if you're me, quite interesting :).

Read the article, the psychopath is the manipulative "charmer", and probably has a job... While the sociopath isn't capable of holding a job...

I will disagree about most cops being psychopaths. Please, you're generalizing.

I've known two psychopaths and they weren't policemen, although they wanted to be security guards. My DH is a policeman, and he has a lot of integrity, and is not a psychopath. The key here is get away from the psychopaths and sociopaths and never go back. It can be done because I've done it.

Also know that when you're leaving is when you're the most in danger. So leave without telling them where you're going and don't leave a paper trail where you're going. I've gotten out, and have taken Psych, and am now graduating from college. Your life will be much better without them.

I was recently befriended by a psychopath. I know this person is one because she took personal delight in basically trying to rip out my uterus through my mind out of jealousy. Because this person is such a well-educated person, she knows not to use overt threats and instead has implied through the use of cultural references and psychological traps a threat to myself and my child. The police won't do anything unless she's trying to break into my home.

I feel used by this individual who sized me up as a mark, took advantage of my compassion and non-judgmental nature and then proceeded to abuse the friendship we did have to knock me down and try to destabilize me psychologically. I don't know if I could have seen this wreckage coming, but now I am smarter and wiser.

i'm divorcing a person who was diagnosed as bipolar but in reality after doing much research and my personal experiences, he is definitely a psychopath. He is social, charismatic on the outside, but when he is home he is evil. He has maliciously set out to hurt my family members, he has even deliberately hurt himself and blamed it on me. we have children together which makes matters worse. he is very manipulative and has shown violence. he has no remorse whatsoever even though he has apologized numerous times. He is a chronic liar and i just recently found out that because of him someone was killed and he has had no remorse about. he constantly blames me for his criminal charges which were directly resulted in violations to protective orders, i honestly believe he is going to try to kill me (not him personally) but no one believes me except family members. i finally decided to buy a gun but the problem i have is not no one knows that he is truly dangerous. and for many years he has gotten away with many criminal acts. even though i have custody of my children, i have not control in protecting them because he has met all the criteria of the court system. do you think i am overreacting?

I lived with a Sociopath for 10 years. At the beginning of the relationship he was a sweet talker, charmer, you name it, the perfect guy! But I had an awful feeling in my gut that it just wasn't right, that i should not be with him, but i ignored it and stayed anyway. Turned out, he made up a life that didnt exist, convinced me of all kinds of things, even that he was dying! He was a compulsive liar, manipulative, not in touch with reality at all, never took responsibility for his actions, obsessed with sex, no remorse for anything, no conscience, became violent, obsessed with me and controlling. I was afraid of him, afraid to leave him, which he made extremely difficult to do. That relationship was a nightmare, it ended over 5 years ago and he's still a nightmare today! He still harasses me, obsessed with me, convinced people of nasty things about me which are not true. I dont wish this type of guy on anyone.

i think it is psychopaths who are less organized than sociopaths. sociopaths are the ones who are able to blend into society while the psychopaths are the loners.

I'm quite certain that my cousin is a sociopath. We grew together as children and were always close right up into our 30's. It was in our 30's that I realized that I could no longer be around her. However, it was much earlier in our lives that I knew "something" was wrong with her. She cannot maintain an actual relationship. She has married twice only to almost immediately begin cheating. She completely degraded her first husband. She continues to use her present husband in unimaginable ways. Ways such as cheating on him, stealing from him, using drugs around him even though he despises such things. She is a very skilled thief and is in with many fences. I actually watched her walk into a Fred Meyer store and walk right back out with a huge $300 vacuum cleaner/carper cleaner. Then she took it to a fence that was the manager of a Toyota dealership! I think he gave her like fifty cents on the dollar. I asked her things like: "How can you do that stuff for a "living." She would say something like, "it's exciting." She did this sort of thing everyday to support her drug habit(s) as well as her everyday needs. She's been caught and gone to jail many times, but gets out because she has "befriended" a city police detective who gets her out of jail as long as she helps him set up drug dealers. When she sets up a successful bust she gets cash for it and uses the cash to buy her own drugs! Amazing! Busting drug dealers just so you can stay high! No conscious. No morals......(honestly, that goes for the cop too as he knows all to well who and what my cousin is. He's probably a "psychopath" using a "sociopath!" As I mentioned before, I cannot, will not be around her anymore. That breaks my heart as she is my blood and I love her. The worst part is that, if I'm not mistaking, this disorder is incurable. Is that true? Perhaps, someone out there can confirm??

Well....here I sit. at work. news since I last posted on this site. My soon-to-be-X-Sociopath is back with her X-husband. He only makes about 250K a year, so it's the obvious that she would work angles to get back with him. ( they are both dumb, after all, she attacked him with a hockey stick and broke his wrist about 6 years ago, amazing how people forget pain) In Feb, I received an e-mail from "his" girlfriend, stating that my X called her and left a message about how she and he were at a hotel and that she should be made aware of this.....the actual message was sent to me, and sure enough, it's her voice stating just that. The scary thing is this, her voice was calm, collected, and sweet...as if she were calling a boyfriend. since then, I've seen him at her house and my friends have told me that she told them, that she is "back with him"......keep in mind, we're not even divorced yet. She actually called me up last week and asked me if I wanted to "come over, get some thai food, and talk" and that "my son is gone to work"....implying we could be intimate. I said "yeah, NO, I'm not going to do that, the only thing we have to talk about is our divorce, do you have any questions about that?" and she said no. she is so sick she forgets that the fact i changed my life for her, doesn't even faze her....and that she's back with her x....good God. So..on I go. I look at it this way. "They" are out there. Sociopaths that is. they are a part of our society, and they blend in very well...the scary thing is, you can't tell who they are until it's too late. but by then, you're life is a wreck.

Very Good answer on the above and quite true as I am one and the answer describes me perfectly.

I married a psychopath. Didn't know he was one until recently but I knew something was wrong early on. Every 3 - 6 months there is a major meltdown & he can't deal with reality anymore. The classic charismatic psychopath, lies, manipulates, etc...

One comment from sociopath that, "we don't know what we're doing," I agree. I love the man to death though he is gone now ( he left ). He is so sick he needs a power of attorney over him. But he has a good heart & I believe he is severally mentally ill. I will always love him, he's just really messed up in his brain.

well, well, well.....there is light at the end....I think.

well, I married one...a Sociopath that is. SHE, yes, SHE was beautiful. a true knockout. 5'7", 108 lbs, blonde, blue, in shape...and a boob job to finish the get-up. she could deals on furniture, cars, clothes...heck she could even get free tea at the local 7-11. She would also get her way. period. before we got married, she was "fine". by no means enough red-flags to make me run. However, after we got married, within three months the game changed so badly that I am now living in fear. She and her son moved out to the house that her and her grandfather were flipping. Yes, she manipulated her WW2 Vet, 82 year old grandfather into flipping a house....with HIS money. then, at a convenient time, moved into it when we were having our problems. sound simple, or shallow, in summary let me share this: I've been slapped numerous times, punched in the face 5 times, kicked in the head, things thrown at me, hit in the face with items and to really get your goat, on our honeymoon, she punched me twice, threw a water bottle at me, and left for 5 1/2 hours, only to end up in some other guy's room. oh yeah, this was the last night of our honeymoon in cabo san lucas, Mexico. throw in the fact that I burned through 30 thousand in cash to support her half-cocked business and other money issues, oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she's trashed all of my stuff; trashed a 175 dollar radio/alarm clock, threw the other radio out the second story window and then trashed my grateful dead collection of 300 tapes, things I've had for 25 years. we were only married for 1 1/2 years, and it all happened in that time frame. The last time I got punched by her, I was going to call the police, and she said, in front of her grandfather "fine call the police, because YOU hit me first!".

I have only recently been awakened to the fact that I am a psychopath or more suitable a word "Psychopathy". I prefer that term than the norm as it doesn't make me feel as bad of a person. I have only recently been able to see the effect I have on people. I will say this to anyone, be careful of people like me. Everything you read about the actions we display is absolutely correct. ie, Manipulative, Spontaneous, Can't keep a job or relationship, Smooth talker, and the list goes on. I was a police officer for the past eight years and it was interesting to find that many people like myself hold positions in the same field. If you learn one thing from these articles is to be careful because we don't know what we do, it just happens without us thinking about it.

I appreciate the explanation. I am sure my soon to be ex- husband is a psychopath. He molested our 3 year old child. The problem I have is that my attorney understands he is sick but I don't think he knows how to dsasrm him with questions. I am working on the testimony now. How would you suggest questions should be asked? He can make up false feelings and seem to have some empathy when he doesn't? Thanks DG

okay, i think i get it. the key difference between psychopath and sociopaths is the "intent" and conciousness?, a sociopath isnt really aware of other peoples needs but a psychopath IS fully aware but just doesnt care? The latter masking their traits to fool people so they can be manipulated easily??