In order to save time defining narcissism, let's just blame our parents for not loving us enough as children and call it a day. Essentially, that's the mindset responsible for the onset of primary and secondary narcissism. According to a number of psychoanalysts and psychologists, the groundwork for full-blown narcissism is established right after birth and continues through the formative years up to age 6. The 'terrible twos', a phenomenon in which toddlers become extremely self-centered and demanding, is actually part of the narcissism spectrum.

Narcissism is a psychological condition defined as a total obsession with self, to the exclusion of almost all other interaction with people. Narcissism is often characterized by a lack of empathy for others, an immature sense of humor, sadistic or destructive tendencies towards other people, and a compulsion to satisfy personal needs without regard for others. People suffering from narcissism can be extremely introverted in social situations, tending to avoid deep friendships or commitments to career or family.

According to a common psychological model used by psychoanalysts, almost all humans begin life with some degree of narcissism. After all, in a baby's world he or she is the most important creature alive, followed closely by the supportive giants known as parents. A baby or toddler has a significant number of physical and emotional needs, all of which should be addressed by the people surrounding him or her. This is how the world works, according to a two-year old child. Eventually, a healthy child will learn that the world is bigger than he or she is, and parents will not always satisfy selfish needs. Failure to learn this fact can lead to a condition called primary narcissism.

Early childhood or primary narcissism is thought to be part of the natural growth process, as children focus their energy and attention away from parents and towards an ever increasing subject/object world. If the child experiences a severe disappointment or senses abandonment, he or she may regress to the primary narcissism stage as a defense mechanism. For parents, this could mean a return to baby talk or demanding behavior until the child finds a way to deal with the traumatic blow to his or her self-worth. Hopefully, the child will learn to live with life's disappointments and grow into a responsible adult. For some people, however, an early lifetime of rejection by others can create secondary narcissism during adulthood.

It is this secondary narcissism which may be diagnosed as narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissism is primarily a defense mechanism, albeit with some socially damaging side effects for the sufferer. A narcissistic adult faced with the pressures of career, family and social interaction can literally implode psychologically, retreating to childhood behaviors such as primary narcissism.

The feelings of others no longer matter to a narcissistic personality. Other people simply live to serve, much like the role filled by parents during early childhood. When family members, co-workers, subordinates or friends fail to satisfy his or her needs, a true narcissist will most likely detach from them emotionally and become even more self-absorbed. Narcissism as a personality disorder can be treated through psychotherapy, but many sufferers prefer to remain undiagnosed.