It's so hard to control the ups and downs of it. It's crazy. I'm about a week in at the moment of complete depression, isolation and wanting to die. I can't seem to find interest in anything that made me happy before. It happens so fast.
I truly feel sorry for you if you have it or you know a loved one has it. Please know, if we lash out, try to bring you down, or we don't want to be around you, it's not you. It's just an uncontrollable feeling that is very difficult to deal with. It eats you alive.