Filial piety is a concept originating with Confucianism which significantly transformed the way Buddhism was practiced in China. Even today, filial piety is an essential element of Chinese culture, and since it is not a religious concept, it has formed an acceptable part of the way the Chinese relate to their parents and ancestors, or elders. Practicing filial piety often exists outside of China among immigrants, although the difference between eastern and western concepts of what is due to parents has certainly produced great tension in some families.

Essentially, filial piety is one of the “right relationships” for which Confucius advocated. The definition includes the responsibility of each person to respect their parents, obey them, take care of them as they age, advise parents, and of course to love them. Loving one’s parents and offering them respect is the spring from which other forms of filial piety flows. A relationship with parents must be centered on love and respect.

This does not mean that children always obey. In fact some schools of Confucian and Buddhist thought feel the adult child must point out the parent’s mistakes and help to teach them. Confucius often emphasized the circuitous relationship of life. When the child is young, the parent is strong, preeminent and due all respect. When the child is an adult he or she must take the place of the parent and lead the family.

When the concepts of Buddhism swept through China, it had to be adapted to include this central issue of filial piety. In general, Buddhism suggests the shedding of relationships and a lack of attachment to the things of the earth. Buddha, himself, was something of a child rebel by rejecting his family. The Chinese looked for instances in stories of the Buddha that would help support concepts of filial piety, and they found them, or wrote them. In fact, much of the Chinese writing on Buddhism that focuses on filial piety is not in keeping with the way other forms of Buddhism are practiced.

In addition to respect and care for the parents, filial piety also existed in the form of ancestor worship. Respect was due to ancestors, and the Chinese often constructed shrines to their ancestors. In fact, in some Chinese eras, failure to properly worship ancestors was grounds for corporal punishment. As a whole, the ancestors supported China and needed due respect because they could influence how the world worked for the present generation. Worshipping ancestors is now less a part of filial piety in modern China, since it can be seen as an almost religious act.

Filial piety exists today and can be seen in China, and outside of it. Many native and immigrant families live in multi-generational family units. It is never “okay” to abandon older family members. Older generations often form a very important part of day-to-day living. Since in both China and in the US, a married couple may both work, care of the children is needed. The mother of either the husband or wife frequently provides that care. This keeps the notion of filial piety strong. The older parent continues to contribute to the adult child, and grandchildren’s well being.

Tension about filial piety is particularly strong when Chinese families immigrate to Western countries. The idea of rebellion, which we consider a “normal” phase of teenagerhood, is the antithesis of filial piety. Perhaps one of the best workings of this concept is Amy Tan’s novel, The Joy Luck Club. It clearly describes the tension in relationships between mothers and daughters who are first and second generation immigrants to San Francisco. In the end, the novel asserts the joy and fulfillment of filial piety with one daughter carrying out the wishes of her deceased mother.