Date rape or acquaintance rape refers to the rape of a person by someone the person knows. Knowledge of the rapist in date rape can range from chance acquaintance to intimate relationship with the person, including marriage. Date rape is generally considered as criminal a behavior as a rape perpetrated by a stranger.

Date rape is the most common form of rape. About 28% of rape victims in the US that report the attack are raped by their husbands or boyfriends. The Department of Justice believes that closer to 35% of those raped are raped by an acquaintance. Continued public education may help reduce these numbers, but ultimately, is only part of a tremendous problem. Although it is the most common type of rape, it can be harder to prove in court, because of the victim’s acquaintance with the rapist, and all the possible explanations of the crime.

The key to defining date rape is that no consent is obtained from the person raped. Non-consent may either be verbal, or if the person is unconscious, any touching or sexual contact with that person is viewed as nonconsensual. For those who may not be clear on the matter, even the weakest “no” or “stop” represents failure to consent and should be respected as the person’s desire not to have sexual intercourse.

One potential problem with prosecuting date rape is that the victim, usually the only witness to the crime, must prove he or she did not consent. Dating a person, dressing provocatively, or flirting may be seen as mixed signals. However, any person who declines sex with an acquaintance, a partner, or girlfriend or boyfriend essentially establishes non-consent, even if the person who declines has given mixed signals, or consented to sexual intercourse in the past. Anytime a would-be sexual partner requests that sexual behavior stop, it must stop or it is an illegal and criminal act.

Another major challenge to adequately prosecuting date rape is that the person raped may not have full recollection of the events that occurred. This can be the case, as for example, at parties where a woman, or man, has had too much alcohol. In other instances, some rapists now specifically disable their victims by putting different forms of illegal drugs in their drinks, alcoholic or otherwise. Drugs like rohypnol, ketamine, or Gamma- Hydroxybutyric acid (GHB) can cause compliance or unconsciousness, making a person who does not consent to intercourse easy to subdue.

To address date rape, which is particularly prevalent on college campuses, some colleges now offer contracts between people who date, which specify exactly what type of sexual behavior is welcome, and what is not. However, since at least half of date rape occurs where both parties are under the influence of alcohol, which is freely available on most college campuses, such contracts may not be honored.

Law enforcement experts recommend the following to help reduce attempted date rape. Attend parties with friends, and never put your drink down where it could be tampered with. Do not accept a drink from someone you hardly know or know casually. Avoid drinking alcohol to excess as it minimizes your ability to defend yourself, or recognize a potentially dangerous situation. Avoid the use of illegal drugs, which can also interfere with ability to defend yourself. Employ a buddy system to make sure everyone gets home safely.

If you are the victim of date rape, you are not alone. Reporting date rape can be challenging, and participating in the prosecution of a date rapist is emotionally daunting. Do get help from the many support groups for those who have been victims of violence. In one's recovery from date rape or any other sexual assault, it is important to get counseling to help cope with misplaced feelings of guilt and shame.

For women who have been date raped by a husband or boyfriend, be aware that this abuse of your person is likely to occur again. If you can, get to a safe place and report the crime. Women who suffer a history of abuse with a husband or boyfriend are at extreme risk for continued and escalated abuse. Again, you are not alone and are actually among the majority of rape victims. There is support for all victims of date rape, which can find by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, or by calling 911 to report a rape.