Constructive criticism is criticism kindly meant that has a goal of improving some area of another’s person’s life or work. Often constructive criticism refers specifically to the critique of someone else’s written or artistic work, in perhaps a teacher/student setting, that would allow that person to further improve the work or to improve their approach to future endeavors. However, constructive criticism can also apply to a critical reasoned analysis of a person’s behavior, as in a patient/therapist setting or a group therapy setting. Parents also try to employ constructive criticism to help their children improve their lives.

The trouble with constructive criticism is that not all people are receptive to it. They may either feel their self-esteem shrinking under criticism, or they may feel that all criticism is negative. This can destroy the intent of constructive criticism.

Further, not all people who think they are employing constructive criticism are actually being helpful. They may think all criticism is helpful and may not spare the person any details or couch the criticism in ways least likely to make a person defensive. Communication is loaded with multiple intentions, especially in a parent/child or spousal relationships. Thus people may not know how to actually employ a critique of one aspect of a person without involving their own feelings or frustration that make a critique negative.

Generally, constructive criticism should address an area that needs improving but does not speak to the person’s self. Constructive criticism should be a reasoned, unemotional response in an effort to teach. In spousal communication, constructive criticism is often shaped as the “I” message: “I feel X, when you say Y.” In parental relationships, constructive criticism generally works best when the timing is right. A child who has just lost a game, for instance, might be better served by encouraging words, rather than a performance critique.

Later, one might ask the child what she thought about her performance. Asking what was the best thing she did and what was her weakest moment can often open a conversation up to a non-negative way of helping a child improve. Many children know exactly what they did wrong in a game, struck out, dropped a ball, etc, and would rather talk about how to fix it, than to be told what they already know.

A similar approach is taken between a therapist and a client. The therapist usually resists direct criticism but helps the client find ways to talk about behaviors and solve problems. This kind of relationship bases its approach on the theory that the therapist best serves the client by helping them identify and resolve problems and issues, instead of pointing out the issues and presenting a solution to the client.

In teacher/student relationships, constructive criticism tends to be far more helpful than a blunt critique of a student’s defects. Questions on a paper and also praise in some areas can make constructive criticism easier to receive. Although, some students do jump to the point and want to immediately know what they did wrong.

Some teachers provide very helpful guidelines prior to a student writing a paper or essay. Telling the student ahead of time that the paper must have five paragraphs, a clear thesis statement, a conclusion, etc, often eliminates problems before they occur. If a student has then not fulfilled the requirements of the essay, help can be given in the areas where the student’s performance is weak.

In all cases, constructive criticism runs the danger of being perceived as negative. In these situations, it is unlikely that any criticism will actually provide help. Even when a person tries to present criticism in a non-emotional way, it may still be considered a personal attack. The only way to approach this is by truly being constructive, kind and helpful, and realizing that not all people are going to appreciate what you might have to say.