For over a year i was going out with turkish kurdish man, who actually was married and had a child with an Irish woman and i never knew about it.

He lied that he owns three shops in Belfast and i was there (in these shops) many times. Suddenly, a year before, he told me that the business is so bad and could i help him with some money. I gave him 11,000 that year.

While we were together he made a video and he threatens me now that he will send everything to my family. I have 4,000 messages stored on my nokia phone and also i have the last history from our conversation where he mentions everything. He has bad intentions.

Also via private detective, i found out that he was in this country for three years and he used actually a fake name while he was my fiance. I have at least five witnesses, his previous bosses and they can confirm everything. From my conversations with him i know that he is married to the poor woman just for his papers and this proves his bad deeds.

I am scared to go to the police and i try to talk to him to get my money back. If someone can help please do.

Is Alcoholics Anonymous a meeting to exploit its members so they become honest and trusted friends? A.A. should help people but they become selfish because of a felony? Anonymity is sacred but A.A. still talks about its members' secret past. Sponsors talk to other sponsors about their pigeons' past problems. is this bad karma to join and seek help?

i am also a victim of blackmail. my ex boyfriend use to threaten me through text messages that if i'm not going to give him our son he will no longer give financial assistance to our son and he will file charges on me to be able to get my son. we are not married. i'm no longer living with him. please help me.

is it wrong for even a parent to keep their adult child living with them against that adult child's will? if the adult child wants to leave the house and move out, is it wrong for the parents to use threats and blackmail to keep the child still living there? thank you. P.S. please help asap. thank you.

anon48028 - It is unclear to me the statement "what I do." If it means you are gay and sleep with different people - you should let your parents know. However, it sounds like you are not sure if you want to leave this guy or not.

If not and you do not wish to inform your parents, I guess you are going to stay with this guy. You are an adult and I guess you have a decision to make here.

i don't know if this is blackmail or not but i broke up with a girl and she has information about me and she is saying that she doesn't want me back. She just wants to see me hurt and is threatening to tell my parents this information if i don't fix things. is this blackmail?

My ex boyfriend pestered me for three years, trying to get back with me. I was at a party walking home when he stopped me (he was cruising about in his car). I could hardly see as I was so drunk, so when he offered me a lift I got in.

He drove me into the woods and parked up, he tried to force himself on me then gave up when I slapped him. He offered me a joint and I stupidly took it! :(

Now he says I owe him £850 for taking it! I have two choices, sleep with him to work off the debt or he is going to get debt collectors to my parents' house. This was all going on when I was with my current boyfriend (I'm scared he will split up with me! )

What do I do?

My sister worked for me, helping me with my handicapped adopted children. I had a foster home. At the time she slapped a foster baby who found his voice and was happily screaming. I fired her and reported it to cps. cps did not do anything because she is not a parent. Since then she has called cps on me eight times and made horrible complaints to my brother. I was not raised with my younger siblings and do not know them well. cps has cleared me but the foster care agency has not. my sister told them I grew up in a juvenile justice facility and lived on a unit called a pod for the mentally ill. she said so many things and the foster care agency wants me to prove otherwise. I can't. I was 18 years old 31 years ago. there are no records either way. they want to send me for a psychological evaluation. my sister has told me she is going to have all my kids removed and prove adoption fraud. she won't stop. she has gotten others involved. my brother is even forcing me to take over his $600 per month van payment and charges me $199 monthly for insurance and he stated if I don't he will hurt me worse than my sister ever can. Every time I try to tell my agency what they are doing they also said if I give them $5,000 dollars they will stop. my agency treats me like I am crazy. they are really criminals and the more I learn about them the more I realize that I made a horrible mistake letting them work with my children. i have a restraining order on my sister and I am scared to death to tell on my brother.

I know someone who is out of jail on probation that witnessed a local officer enter a premises without permission. The officer now wants him to testify against my other friend and lie and say that the officer had permission to enter. otherwise, the officer says, he will send my friend back to jail by telling his probation officer that he was found drinking when the officer entered the house. No breathalyzer was taken. Is this blackmail? Is blackmailing illegal when police do it?

I am with a guy and every time I try to leave him he says he is going to send nude pictures to my family and friends. My parents don't even know I am with him. I am 19 and afraid that they will find out. what do I do?

we still see each other as he was threatening me. i decided a hundred times and i told him a hundred times that i don't want him as i love my fiance. but stil he insists. please help.

anon47204, if your boss is threatening harm to you or your family, call the police. This is worse than blackmail--it's harrassment and threatening behavior. Tell your fiance you had a relationship with your boss that ended before you met him. That takes the teeth out of that part of the threat. But the fact your boss is threatening bodily harm to your loved ones needs to be brought to the attention of law enforcement. Good luck.

i'm really desperate now. last year, i was hired by a company in canada. the owner of the company i am working with now went to the philippines for a vacation. he asked me to have dinner together. (i was hired already and my papers were being processed.) the second time he asked we slept together. he went back to canada, and i was still in the philippines waiting for my papers. when we were apart, we sent emails, we talked online, we had an affair. when i came here last in 2008, we were happy because we were together now. he's in his 50's and i'm 26. i was so stupid i let him take pictures and videos while we were having sex. we were intimate for three months and he went back to the philippines for a vacation early this year. i met a guy in january and i'm in love with him now. we wanted to get married. i told my boss to move on, but he wouldn't. he's blackmailing me to send my naked pics and videos to my fiance if i won't make love to him. he always gets mad. and when he gets mad, he threatens to send those to my family and fiance. he said he wants to ruin my life and kill my dad. please help. i really need help now. i have a lot of his crazy messages.

So if i am being blackmailed by an ex boyfriend, what type of lawyer do i contact? Criminal, family law or what?

anon45345, yes what your ex-boyfriend is doing could be construed as emotional blackmail. He is most likely using the *threat* of those incriminating photos in order to maintain control over you, but I'm not sure he fully intends to reveal those photos to your family and employers. You may want to find a way to diminish the power of his threat by approaching your family yourself and explaining how you have made some errors in judgement in the past, but you have become a different person since that time. If you minimize the threat, you minimize his power to harm you emotionally.

Anon46504, I'm afraid your argument concerning blackmail doesn't hold up well. In the first place, you and your friend violated a classroom rule about passing notes. The fact that your written note called your teacher a racist and a vulgar sexist term would make it libel. Accusations such as this could damage your teacher's good name and reputation. You're lucky she didn't get even more offended. You should write the report as requested. Your teacher's decision to withhold the referral in exchange for a writing exercise is not an example of blackmail, but more of an example of leverage. You don't want to face the consequences of that referral, so it's in your best interest to show some respect for your teacher and do what she asks.

"I called the Corp. headquarters and demanded that I be paid severance or I would report their violations. Is this considered blackmail or fair?" That is blackmail. I wouldn't call it unfair but it *is* illegal. A better strategy would have been to say something like this in your exit interview *before* any mention of severence pay: "I know x, y, and z about this company and I'm quite prepared to report these violations to the appropriate authorities." (period. say no more than that) Then let *them* do the math and offer you severance pay. Do not sign anything agreeing to abstain from reporting the violations - you could be signing your way into a blackmail charge. It's an unenforcable contract anyway - there is no more or less threat to them if you don't sign it.

To all of you who are being blackmailed: You need a lawyer, not the police. A lawyer is bound to confidentiality whereas the police are not. The lawyer can tell you your options. It could turn out that the police station is where you want to go - but not until you've spoken to an attorney. @anon8844: No the scenario you describe would not be blackmail. Blackmail requires a threat that the blackmailer is going to do something. That threat can be explicit ("I'm going to give these pictures to your wife")- or implied ("Your wife wouldn't like these"). But merely saying "I really enjoy the pictures" isn't an explicit or implied threat. @anon46504: Write the essay. No, it's not blackmail. Your teacher has the authority to punish you and that's what she is doing. She also has the authority to escalate the punishment by sending you to the principal. She is giving you an easy out. Take it.

At school i was passing a note back and forth to my friend and we were talking about the teacher. i called the teacher a racist b----. she got the note and wrote me and my friend on a referral. She didn't turn it in. She said that if we write a five-page typed essay on a college we want to go to she will void the referral and she will forget all about it. My friend is going do the essay but i said i won't because i felt like that was a form of blackmail. If i don't do this report by monday i will get kicked out of the school and return to my homeschool which is a very bad school. Help! P.S.- Me and my friend are freshmen.

please help. my ex-boyfriend is threatening to send pictures of me smoking weed to my parents and/or my work. he doesn't want anything but to see me suffer because i broke up with him. what do i do? is this blackmail? can i report him for anything?

@anon43056. Ignore this joker. If your name isn't on the cyber posts, don't worry if he posts them all over the net. Big deal. And he cannot hack into your computer if he doesn't know your passwords or anything. He just told you that to get you to do exactly what you did, which was to cyber with him. He's a manipulative jerk.

Here's what to do now. Sign on to your account and when he shows up, act like you are your Dad. Ask him what the blazes he thinks he's doing by forcing his underage (whether you are or not) daughter to "cyber" with him, and would he like the FBI to pay a visit to his house, since they're already on the case to find him. Then, block his name and account from everything you're doing, change your username on all the sites where you post, get a new e-mail account to use to register and enjoy the fact that the little twit will probably be spending some sleepless nights, hoping the Feds don't show up or that he doesn't end up on one of those "Dateline" 'catch the perv' episodes. Good luck!

P.S. And don't fall for that line again. If anyone approaches you about it, tell them to jump in the lake and block their username from your computer immediately.

i was on a site talking to this guy and he said that i have to do "cyber" with him or else he would hack my computer or if i reported him he would hack it so now half way through the messges with him he said that if i don't keep doing it he would post our conversations all over the net. i reported him twice, and still nothing. i don't know what to do. it is really embarrassing to even tell this story, and i didn't want to do anything with him but i also don't want our conversations posted or my computer hacked.

i had an ex-boyfriend from another country always tried to threaten me to post my private photos in the internet if i won't come back to him. how can i report him? i don't like him.

I was recently let go from a job in which they took my last days of pay & vacation pay. Their reasons were for lack of sales, when the company gave no support or training to help. I was also not licensed in which was illegal for me to perform my position (something of which I was not aware of until I was let go).

I found out from the Dept. of Agriculture that there are numerous violations that would cost the company more than a half a million in fines. I called the Corp. headquarters & demanded that I be paid severance or I would report their violations.

Just three weeks earlier I had a conversation with management not to put me in a situation of being unemployed like I'm see happening to several people already & they assured me that my position was solid & they would do whatever possible to support my efforts.

Now I'm kicked to the curb with no income or pay.

Is this considered blackmail or fair?

I asked for 3 months pay due to the conditions discussed weeks earlier being assured I'd stay employed.

Blackmail is blackmail, and if a man should surrender the information or tool he used to blackmail you. It must be destroyed and not used in evidence against you.

i have a question about blackmail. okay so i was at this party, and it turns out that this kids laptop was stolen along with a GPS radio out of his car. He thinks i did it because i was the only person there that he didn't full know. he's now threatening me to pay him 300 dollars or else he is going to call the cops and file a police report. i was wondering if this is actually blackmail and was also wondering what action i should take to protect myself in this case?

does a letter have to be signed for it to be used in blackmail

I was engaged in a affair with a married woman. It was only one time that we had sex. We are both in the military and according to the military we both have committed adultery. She has some information on me about another situation that does not evolve her from months ago. She has threatened to turn me in for my previous actions and for sleeping with her unless I pay her money. She asked for 5000 dollars for pain and suffering. when I told her that I do not have that she dropped the price down to 1900 dollars for now and i could give her the rest when tax season comes. I really do not have this money and plus I do not want her to have control of my life. She also has threatened to tell my girl friend about what happened between her and I. I have sent all the text messages to my email so that I can print them for evidence. What exactly should I do.

For those who are being blackmailed...No matter what you've done, wouldn't it be better to take your chances with the police? At least when you are done probation, or your time, you are done. When you let someone have control over you like that, it goes on indefinitely. Go to the police, and get the blackmailer out of your life. Whatever you might think, the police don't have a personal stake in what's going on, so when it's over, it's over. Doesn't that sound better than being under the yoke of some controlling person for the rest of your life? It will get so bad with the blackmailer that eventually you will think that what the police have in store for you isn't so bad. Take responsibility, and do the right thing. It won't hurt as much as you think it will.

One of my friends was in a female homosexual relationship.

Her ex-partner took detailed nude photos of herself for her at the time. My friend still has these photos. Now, it just so happens that her ex is showing up in the same places as my friend with her new husband.

We think she's doing this on purpose by reading my friend's online journal of events she's going to.

My friend wants to tell her ex "I still enjoy those pictures you sent me."

Would this be consider black mail, considering it is a possibly threat that she may expose those pictures if she doesn't stop antagonizing her?

blackmail is a crime. i would call the police. document the threats-- i.e., taping the person, getting them to put it in an email. you may have to get clever to do this.

I just read this post after doing a google search for black mail. I have never posted anything before but I am at a loss of what to do. I am being black mailed by my "current" boyfriend only because he is very good at using every weakness against me to keep me in a relationship that isn't working. When I leave I get threats. Finally when I thought I had left him peacefully he filed an injunction against ME and my SON who is already in Jail for something unrelated. He has a tape he has been using against me and when I broke it off he took it to the state attorney with the injunction. I had originally purchased a recorder because he had threatened to kill me and himself. Unfortunately the tape in now being used against me as it has incriminating statements that can hurt my son. He stole the tape from me one day and every time I try to leave he threatens me with it. He knows that my youngest son is my weakness. I told him that my son has real hatred towards him and I cannot be with him. That is when he did take the tape to the state attorney. If I give in to him he will still use it again the next time he does not get his way.He wants to get back together and says he will drop charges etc. but will not give me the tape.

I was dating this individual and committed a crime against the him. I forged his signature on some checks. He found out about it a couple of months back. Now he controls me with threats of going to police. If i try to leave his house he threatens to call the police. When I am not there he will call me hundreds of times a day and threaten the police if I dont answer. He is even physically violent. Is he black mailing me? What do I do to solve this?