All i can say is that I'm judged on a daily basis for being just that little bit different! It's not fair... I've met someone who I'm madly in love with and I'm sure he now does not want to be with me. Now he is about to find out my condition which is actually trauma induced. I've had to deal with this since I was 14 yrs old and now I'm 32 on no meds and with a beautiful child. Am I destined to be alone for something that's not my fault and that I have spent half my life trying to fix? I wish I could just be accepted for the different but special person that I am? Since finding out that I have this condition which totally sux I've never felt so alone in my whole life! Please love me for who I am Daniel and not discard me for something that's not my fault :( *I love you beautiful*!

Franky here from New Zealand.. Im still having my good and bad dayz.. on a natural *high* at the moment but starting to annoy my family and frendz..

I am sixteen years old. Two days ago I was diagnosed as having bipolar 2. This was after a year of counseling and treatment for anxiety disorders and depression. Two months ago I attempted suicide and was diagnosed as severely depressed. My doctor prescribed prozac and it seemed to have little effect. I still couldn't take care of myself or make decisions that positively impacted my future. I had periodic breakdowns, but these alternated with periods where the prozac seemed to be working.

After talking to my doctor again, she suggested going to a psychiatrist. I went to the NW expert on teenage mental disorders and was diagnosed as above. I have been in therapy for a year for various unsavory instances in my past and it has continued along with my changing diagnosis.

I'll be honest, I was a straight A student, but I failed three classes this year. I'm terrified that I may have ruined my chances forever. My parents and friends are upset with me, and though they are trying to help I feel like no one understands how much I am trying to pull myself back together. I've been doing everything I can. How can I explain what's going on? I'm lost and confused and need help. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I was diagnosed with manic depression (since diagnosed as Bipolar II) around 3-4 years ago and it came as a real relief that my problems had a name. I was started on mild antidepressants and they really worked wonders. Over the next year or so, my meds changed and the doses were increased to the point where I have been taking 300mg a day of Effexor (after a really horrible period on just 10mg of Lexapro that made me quite suicidal).

A week ago, I stopped taking the meds. Not ideal, I know, but I just decided that I'm sick of taking the meds and seeing myself fall back into old patterns. The meds seem to be making me more aggressive - that would be the mania that Effexor tends to increase. And really, I'm tired of it. The first few days without any meds were really bad because I was getting the shakes, head zaps, disorientation and the rest of it, including some mild depression but I've decided to persevere - the moods are just a symptom of withdrawal. I've taken 150mg on a couple of days when the dizziness was too extreme, just to feel a bit normal, and it helped but I'm back to cold turkey.

I decided to do this because, luckily, I can manage the Bipolar II – that is, even though I’m alienating people and often feel like dying, I can still manage to get up in the morning, interact with people and hold down a job, and I’ve never had the need to be hospitalised. So I wouldn’t recommend my course of action to just anyone. But I realised that I want to see what happens. Perhaps the manic and the depressive episodes (which were worse but further apart) can be managed? I’m going to try to just see them as who I am. But it’s early days yet and I’m feeling really buoyant and hypo so I don’t know what tomorrow will be like. One day at a time. I’m keeping a mood chart, which I would recommend to everyone. It helps you to really analyse the intensity of the peaks and troughs as well as their duration, possibly helping pre-empt them.

I’ve spoken to my manager at work about working from home for a few days as soon as I get the hint of an “episode” coming on and they’re really supportive because, let’s face it, if it was so easy to just change our thinking as soon as an episode started to rear its ugly head (like all of those feel good mantras tell us – “you *can* choose to be happy!”) then who would need meds!

Good luck everyone – and remember to question everything your shrink recommends and not just take meds as a first resort in the case of Bipolar II.

My daughter age 28 was just diagnosed bipolar II and is currently doing inpatient for co-occurring "Axis II" and substance abuse. She has had many different med combos and has frequently gone out "on the street" and taken no meds.

She has thyroid deficiency too and needs synthroid. Many behaviors are consistent with borderline personality disorder. Are BPD (borderline) and Bipolar II related and are they often confused/misdiagnosed for each other?

i am 15 and i think i have Bipolar 2. i have all the symptoms. its really hard. my friends don't understand it and see it as an excuse when i treat them badly when i am in one of my bad moods. i didn't even notice i was doing it at first until my friends kept pointing it out.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder only 2 weeks ago. I am on Geodon and paxil. Any luck with the two?

Wouldn't it be nice if there was just a blood test or something tangible to determine the perfect med.? I have been on paxil for 10 years (after a gamut of different meds. and doing therapy). I never went back to 100% of me but, looking forward at the future and impact to work and family. I was ok.

I recently "crashed" again and am working with a new psychiatrist and psychologist on another cocktail. This time is nothing like 10 years ago. So far we have, lithium, clonazapam, abilify and 1/2 of my paxil dose. I'm still waiting to feel emotions and be functional again.

We're all different so, we go fishing for the right thing and hope for the best. Because of my longevity of playing with "major depressive" now "bipolar II" I have just learned to play along no matter how bad it gets...the other alternatives and consequences to my family are just to great to give up. The question is....Are we willing to take the time and try to find the best we can? ...Are we willing to accept who we are now?

it sounds like you people have a lot of experiences and i don't. i was diagnosed in five minutes with bipolar 2 and the doctor really didn't let me talk or explain. i've lived a very stressful life and in the fall my girl left, my business went under, and i developed severe anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks so on.

i've been working with a different doctor and counselor who have changed my diagnosis to ocd, and i do admit that it fits.

the question i have is they put me on zoloft and when they upped the dose i now feel nervous and anxious. i've got this this thing in my head that it could be making me manic, i'm not sure because i really am confused how being manic feels like. can anybody help?

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II 3 years ago. I started on Citalopram (I think it is the same as Celexa). That made me crazy and I had a lot of trouble sleeping. It also prevented me from feeling anything emotionally, which was quite scary.

Next, I went on to Lamotrogine (aka Lamictal I believe). I was taking 6 pills a day and didn't feel much of anything in the way of improvement. Didn't seem to help, but didn't seem to hurt. For $400+ a month, I wanted something that made me feel like a superhero.

Then I went on lithium. 3 pills a day and the best medication for me. I did get a bit toxic and got severe hand tremors, but that was resolved by increasing my sodium intake (I had cut salt out thinking that would help, but it actually made things worse). I just made sure I got regular blood tests and was aware of myself.

I decided to go off all medication about a year ago. I'd changed jobs and could no longer see my wonderful psychiatrist because my insurance changed. I found one who continued my prescription, but didn't seem to think I was bipolar because I seemed okay (the meds were working, duh!). I just got to a point where if I took one more pill, I was going to vomit. So I stopped and it wasn't actually all that bad.

Over the past year off medication, I have been closely monitoring myself for any emerging symptoms and have been looking for a new psychiatrist, just in case (unsuccessful in finding a decent one though). I exercise regularly which really helps and try to keep a healthy diet. I've had a couple issues here and there, but have been okay for the most part.

I am going to continue looking for a good psychiatrist because it is important to monitor yourself and get help when you need it. It is also good to have some close people around you who know about your situation so they can let you know if you appear to be having problems. I would also like to find a therapist, but a psychiatrist is my priority at this point.

To a few recent comments,

It's great if you can manage without meds, but lots of people do need them.

My 2 cents, therapy can't work when the brain is completely fogged and when your behavior becomes so unreasonable that you just can't apply therapeutic methods to solve things. Plus, risk of being without meds is significant for some people. You can't know in advance that a manic or depressive episode won't cause you to be suicidal. It's just not predictable.

However, I fully recognize resistance to taking meds, and there's a kind of grief involved. Being on meds for life really does mean transitions and dealing with side effects and health sacrifices. Finding the right med combo helps, and can definitely affect the "no mood" syndrome, but that is very hard work. You need patience and a dedicated psychiatrist who will work with you on that.

Bipolar and Bipolar II are life changing illnesses and they are not easy. Once people stabilize on meds, therapy can be helpful in dealing with the grief that comes from being stuck with this diagnosis. We all want and expect a healthy life, and though many things can be normal with these illnesses, it's still not "normal" living, at least from my personal experience.

My best to everyone who has commented thus far. Tricia EC

Tapscr,

Totally appreciate your comments. I too went for numerous years before getting the right diagnosis, and it was intensely frustrating. I agree with you on the alcohol, it can make you absolutely nuts when paired with the mood stabilizers and especially things like benzodiazepines.

Sometimes lower doses help with the "dull" aspect, but that's really individual.

I've been pretty lucky to keep that out, but I still get so tired sometimes, and I've gotten meds down to a mood stabilizer (tegretol) and one antidepresant, plus synthroid. It's still a vast amount of drugs to take at night, isn't it?

Keep us posted on that second opinion. Sounds like all the commenters here benefit from learning new things about this disease.

Best,

Tricia EC

After being diagnosed with dysthymia at the age of 19, this has naturally evolved into bipolar II by the age of 22/23. I'm 24 now.

I have found therapy to be more useful than medication in controlling this. I am fortunate in that my moods only flare up more seriously when I'm under an increased amount of stress. Learning to realize what triggers this stress pre-preemptively, and being aware of the signs and symptoms of a depressed/hypomanic episodes when they do strike, has been invaluable in forming a coping strategy. Minor rapid cycling to a very large degree can be controlled through a healthy lifestyle; diet, sleep, exercise, multivitamins and taking the time to find yourself. Self-maintenance and understanding are key.

However, when my moods do flare I have found low doses of Effexor to be very effective (37.5mg/day). It lessens the gut feeling of depression yet tends to temper the much sharper side of hypomania; in other words, it increases concentration in a much more positive way and allows me to use my energy constructively. Add to this being much more relaxed in social situations and it's a winner. It is not a magic bullet cure, though it does space thoughts out a bit for reflection when dealing with rougher times.

I have never believed in the efficacy of these drugs at high level doses, unless there are serious thoughts of suicide/self-harm. I've had full-blown manic episodes from average to high doses of other AD's, as well as Effexor, but low doses of this in particular have done wonders in balancing me until I am ready to return to a drug-free state =)

you guys all seem to be talking about meds but what if you don't want to take them? i have bipolar2 and i'm currently so confused as to whether or not i should take drugs. the drugs make me flat... there are no highs and lows just complete apathy almost. i want some kind of happy medium where i still FEEL things and have natural moods but I don't want life to be as hard or extreme as it is now.

Ups and downs are completely natural, being happy all the time is not real and the suggestion that we should be is unnatural and a trap. But that's not to say that the ups and downs that bipolar2 sufferers feel are normal either... they're too extreme.

all this "i take this and that mixed with one of these and then one of them to balance that" scares the CRAP out of me though. yes i've tried different combinations and options but I don't want a synthetic version of me, i want me... without the extreme extremes.

Is this too much to hope for and is there anyway for this to be achieved? cognitive therapy is a lovely theory but i can't by the fact that i still have to think about changing the thought when it arrives... does it ever just begin to change naturally?

like when you're learning a language, you have to translate everything in your head first... that's what cognitive therapy feels like for me. anyone else?

anon11113, my medication regime includes both Celexa and Abilify. I recently stopped Seroquel as I was having some unusual facial and tongue movements. We're still waiting to see if they go away. In the meantime I have benztropine (Cogentin) to stop the movements. I also use Klonopin fairly regularly because I also have social phobia. It's worked wonders for me. I've finally gotten my life back.

Sarah, yes it is possible for ADHD and depression to be diagnosed instead of Bipolar II. I had the diagnosis of ADHD with major depression for years. I am now 40 years old and was just diagnosed as Bipolar II. I believe that either Web MD or Wikipedia has an article that states this as well.

I would consider a mild anti depressant to be any anti depressant used at a low dose but in saying that a prescription is needed so discuss it further with your health care professional.

Hi, my name is Sarah and I just happened to read this and thought it was very informative. At a young age, I was diagnosed as having ADHD and later on, in my early teens, I was also diagnosed with depression. I never thought this was the right combination and the day I turned 18 I stopped taking all my meds. This screwed me up severely for about a year, and after that I started to discover that I have patterns of depression and hypomania. Would it be possible to mis-diagnose Bipolar II as ADHD with Depression?

I was diagnosed with major depression (suicidal) by my primary care physician. She prescribed me Celexa. Celexa sent me into a crazy hypomanic phase.

I do not blame Celexa since I really loved the euphoria associated with the hypomanic state. I met with my doctor every 3 weeks during this time, and I hid how I was feeling. After about 2 months of being incredibly euphoric, I came down on my own. I finally came clean about the episode with my new psychiatrist.

He re-diagnosed me as BiPolar II. He adjusted my dosage of Celexa from 40mg to 20mg, and added 200mg of Wellbutrin and Seroquel (to help me sleep). I am feeling pretty good on this combination.

Bipolar II--I was diagnosed with Bipolar II approximately 1 year ago. Prior to that I had been treated with an antidepressant for about 3 years. The problem with the antidepressant (Effexor) is that it seemed to exacerbate my problems and I would cycle in and out of hypo-manic and severe depression much more quickly. I had always cycled through these moods 2-3 times per year, but the cycles increased in time (5-6) per year and intensity. I was also seeing a licensed professional counselor who did not consider the possibility of a physiological illness, even though I was taking Effexor. I thought I was depressed and pushed my internist to prescribe the Effexor and we continued to increase the dosage.

My irritability levels while depressed and in a hypomanic state continued to increase and my ability to focus at home and at work continued to decrease. Finally, early last summer, I saw a psychiatrist friend and he immediately diagnosed me with Bipolar II. He put me on Lamectil, we continued the Effexor and Clonazam. By the end of the summer I was a mess, extremely manic, forgetful, and unbearable to live with. I was also drinking very heavily which had been a hallmark of my after work routine for years. All of this was very difficult on my family. We changed to Depakote in the fall and discontinued the antidepressant, but I continued to take small doses of Clonazepam. I quit drinking because the Doctor finally convinced me that he could not get the medication dosages right while I was drinking and thus, the effectiveness of any medication would be severely compromised. Upon changing to Depakote the manic state subsided. Unfortunately, we pushed too far and my depression kicked in again. We got rid of the Clonazepam, started Wellbutrin as an anti-depressant which almost immediately increased my irritability.

Finally, I switched the anti-depressant to Lexapro and moved the dosage gradually from 10 to 20 mg. per day. The major adverse affect was somnolence (sleepiness, lethargy) which extremely aggravated my wife. I then added Provigil (stimulant) to help me stay awake which is awesome in that it really only last about 12 hours if I've gotten a good night's rest the night before. I also take a low dose of Temazepam which helps me sleep all night (7-8 hrs).

Below is my dosing regimen: Morning: 20 mg Lexapro 100 mg Provigil

Night before bed: 1500 mg Depakote 10 mg Synthroid 10 mg Temazepam

My wife generally agrees that the treatment is working in that my irritability is gone, but she thinks the drugs have too much of a dulling effect. She also thinks that while I may be suffering from severe depression, she disputes the Bipolar II diagnosis. We are seeking a second opinion on the diagnosis, but I refuse to back-track on the steps that we have made. The illness over the years has severely eroded our relationship and I think that she is scared that I'll revert back to the mean husband and father that I was before. I am scared that without the drug therapy that I will back-track to the point that I was in early last summer. As I indicated, I was drinking heavily at that point, which when I realized it was inhibiting the drugs' performance, I quit immediately. Now I rarely even have a beer, much less any liquor. I would encourage anyone who are on mood stabilizing or altering drugs to seriously consider the adverse effects of alcohol. It really can mess your treatment up. Not necessarily the next day, but the next week or two. If you want to get well, you've got to push back the booze.

I very much appreciate your article because it explains almost exactly my experience with BiPolar II. Misdiagnosis as depression. Treatment solely with antidepressants which lose their effectiveness. More depression, anxiety and irritability. Job problems. Acknowledgment of the mixed-mood problem by family and co-workers. Things are great at work and I'm the most productive and happy I've been in years. Unfortunately, I am perplexed that my wife, having already lived through the long road back, is now refusing to accept the diagnosis and the treatment, hence the second opinion.

Any thoughts on any of the above are appreciated. Thanks again for the exceptional article.

I was just diagnosed with Bipolar II. My experience started 15 years ago when I was in 7th grade. My family chose to ignore my symptoms, even when I asked for help. Eventually I saw a psychiatrist (1.5 years ago) who assumed I had Major Depressive Disorder and prescribed an SNRI. I was never asked about any hypomanic symptoms, and I wasn't educated about them so I didn't know that they were abnormal. My new therapist has finally diagnosed me with Bipolar II and prescribed Lamictal. I've also read that less than 25% of psychiatrists ask seemingly depressed patients about hypomanic or manic episodes. It seems to me that the community levels of those with Bipolar II are probably much higher than the 0.5% stated by the DSM-IV-TR due to the rampant malpractice by many psychiatrists. I'm just so angry that many mental health practitioners overlook this disorder, and often prescribe medications that can worsen symptoms (antidepressants) and lead to life-threatening situations.

Hi Manifest,

Thanks for commenting. At least from what I have read, there's a lot of problems with going the anti-depressant route only because it can spark up the manic phases like nobody's business. Some people do a combo of mood stabilizer and anti-depressant. Others find that mood stabilizers alone do the trick. I haven't heard of successful treatment from an antidepressant alone, since it wouldn't counter the "highs" of they hypomanic state.

It really does seem to affect everyone differently though. I can think of at least ten or twelve people I know with bipolar II, and no person is on the same medication regimen.

Annon11113: I am a newly diagnosed bipolar2, but I thought you would like to know that Celexa threw me into major manic phases. you may experience it differently, I was not pairing it with a mood stabilizer.

Anon11113 - The correct combination of medications is a very individual process. Some people do well on just a bipolar meds like abilify. Others have a really hard time without going to one of the major bipolar meds (lithium, tegretol, depacote) and an antidepressant. Then there's the issue of the antidepressants. Too much (some people have a tough time with Prozac and Zoloft) and you can end up cycling too high. I've heard of some people going up way too fast (into hypomanic states) on wellbutrin. But, even though it would seem that the medical community understands mental illness -- there's significant evidence to prove that they're really not sure why or how some drugs work. The most important thing is to check in with yourself and assess improvement. Gotta say when I switched to tegretol, the world came back into focus, but that doesn't mean it's the right medication for you. It took 5 years to arrive at a correct diagnosis of my condition.

Important note: Avoid Neurontin. It is documented that the testing on Neurontin showed it to be a significant mood stabilizer, but this turned out not to be the case and the company has been found to have actually falsified data in their tests. Most people are not having it prescribed anymore, but if it's suggested, avoid it, as it proves completely ineffective for most people. It seriously complicated my diagnosis, since I was on it for years, and my psychiatrist concluded it couldn't be bipolar II because then I'd respond to Neurontin.

Also, check your thyroid levels. A lot of people with bipolar and bipolar II need small amounts of thyroid to help them better synthesize their medications. A low normal reading may mean supplementing with sythroid (thyroxidine). Most medical doctors are unfamiliar with the studies on this.

has anyone else been treated with doses of abilify along with Celexa with success? I was just diagnosed with bipolar II and was hoping for a miracle. thanks. god bless.

I thought this article on Bipolar2 was very informative. It states a "mild antidepressant" and an "anticonvulsant" may help. Are you at liberty to say what you consider a mild antidepressant?