What is Anuptaphobia?
Those looking up the term anuptaphobia are likely to find the following definition: “fear of staying single.” Yet this definition says little about a fairly common phobia, and doesn’t add that this fear doesn’t just encompass concern about being single. Some people suffer anuptaphobia in the form of being afraid of being married to the wrong person for life. Others more relate the term to gamophobia, which is fear of all things to do with marriage and weddings.
Cases of anuptaphobia may be very mild to severe. Many people hope and plan for the day when they find the perfect partner with whom to share their lives. In absence of this perfection, they might act in ways that are irrational. They may choose partners on a whim and quickly marry without time to consider the consequences. Alternately they could stay in destructive relationships where the promise of marriage or lifetime commitment is real, because they fear the consequences if they are suddenly single. This is perhaps the most severe form of anuptaphobia; when a woman or man will not extricate him or herself from an inherently abusive relationship because the fear of being along exceeds fear of abuse.
The second form of anuptaphobia, fear of being married to the wrong person, might express itself in inability to commit. A person could be able to offer some level of commitment to another, but continue to look for the ideal man or woman to come along. On the issue of marriage, this person would usually be inflexible or hesitant because fear drives him to worry about making lifetime commitments with the wrong partner.
Symptoms of anuptaphobia may vary significantly. People might avoid weddings because they develop feelings of panic when they attend them. On the other hand, the anuptaphobic might be very interested in attending weddings or other social engagements in the hopes of meeting a life partner. Essentially it can be said that the focus of someone with this condition is skewed; finding the ideal partner or any partner may be far more important than other aspects of life, and remaining single is something to be feared at all costs. It can be hard to trace development of this condition in the child or young adult, but persistent discomfort with being alone is a very good sign.
Treatment for anuptaphobia exists in a variety of forms, which include helping the person not view single life as a punishment or as an evil. Talk therapy and other therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy and desensitization may help. In this case a combination of talk therapy and desensitization may be most effective because rooting out the desire to not remain single may take some depth work.
Still not all people who suffer from mild forms of this condition require therapy. Usually therapists are most effective when fear of being single is so intense that it causes people to make very poor life choices or find themselves unable to commit. It could be said that there are many who suffer from the fear of ending up alone, but as long as this fear doesn’t overwhelm common sense, it may be more of a human condition than a mental illness.
Written by Tricia Ellis-Christensen
