Alpha male is a term used in describing any group or society of animals that live closely together and have a dominant leader. Alpha dog is often used in both domesticated breeds of dogs and in wolf societies to express the leadership characteristics of the dog to which all other dogs defer. There are also alpha females or leading females in many pack animal societies (including human societies), with the alpha female having dominance over all females in the pack and possibly some of the lower beta males or omega males.
In human societies alpha male can mean very different things. Some use the term to mean the guy who seems most at ease with women and can essentially marry or date any woman of his choice. In this sense the alpha male is often good-looking, has a great build, and may have a relatively high socioeconomic status. These distinctions may be less noticed in human groups like high school settings. Generally the alpha male (or a group of alpha males) are the cutest guys, usually muscle-bound, sometimes the “jocks,” while beta males may be less assured around females and may participate in less “male” activities.
The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought less attractive by girls. It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls. This article also does not imply that all attractive males are necessarily alpha. Alpha males are more about exhibiting traits that are essentially masculine or “macho.” Many attractive males are beta to the core when it comes to relating with people.
In work settings, the alpha male may be a natural leader, exuding confidence. But he also may be contentious, demanding and difficult to work with. This is thought to be in part due to the alpha male attempting to retain his stature, however unconsciously, as alpha. Being the top salesperson, the quickest worker, the most aggressive boss may contribute to remaining at the top, and the alpha male has a tendency to respond aggressively to any attempts by others to outshine him.
This is true in non-human settings too. The alpha male is continually being tested to see if he remains dominant and may need to stage pitched fights with upcoming males in a group to remain “top dog.” In the human setting, the alpha male usually doesn’t fight physically, but instead acts with language, brusque or dismissive behavior, or with other tactics to remain at the top.
Though leaders in a company are excellent to have, alpha male characteristics in the workplace may not always be seen as positive. Aggression and disregard for others are not necessarily inspiring. Some people better lead by being “beta” and having good communication skills, sensitivity toward others, and downplaying their strengths so they can showcase the strengths of others.
In adult social settings, alpha males again may be judged not so much by aggression, but by their ability to get the most attractive women as mates. This is the primary reason for alpha behavior in other animals.
The alpha male in adult society is likely to be confident, attractive, and wealthy. Questions remain as to whether the alpha male can retain mates, since relationships often require ability to compromise, to discuss feelings and to be sensitive. Some alpha males have these characteristics typically thought of as beta, but many of them lack such traits. You can certainly point to prominent alpha males in our society who seem to have poor track records with women, either involving themselves in a succession of failed relationships or marrying one woman after another, with no marriage lasting for very long.
In my book a true alpha male shows qualities such as integrity, respect and wisdom which lead others to give him greatness. "Greatness is not given, it must be earned."
If a person has a big enough ego to expect such a status then they are probably not worthy of it. Not to be confused with the aggressive male who intimidates out of insecurity and never gains true respect from others.
- anon69720
61
What if we were to think of the true Alpha Male (the one a boy would ultimately aspire to be when he grows up) as one who, does not bully, dominate, etc., along with all other negative descriptions associated with the term, but rather, an Alpha Male is defined by he who incorporates his keen sensitivity along with the ability to be assertive, without being aggressively domineering?
The true Alpha Male is balanced and therefore, much more inclined to be successful in life. He does not constantly butt heads, nor suffers from submissiveness. He knows how to utilize both emotion and logic to carry him above the extremist personalities/deficiencies of "alphas" and "betas." The reason why "alphas" and "betas" exist is because they have been unable in, and it is often the case that their biological nature prevents them from, achieving a healthy medium.
- savyD
60
A lot of women think they want a sensitive man type after being with an Alpha type. All I can say is "Careful what you wish for" on that one. A man who runs from confrontation at all costs, has low protective qualities, whines a lot, compares himself to his woman all the time to play tit for tat, and shows he's empowered by being stubborn and pugnacious only to those in his immediate family who won't abandon him --wow.
I've got to say, a man like that needs a women with extremely low standards. I'll take having to deal with the ego any day.
- LDDGinSB
59
Oh I forgot. There are Alpha females, too. My dog is one. Alpha females like to be on top. If they choose Beta males they can only be disappointed. In social situations they will take second, since the Beta male will submit to all the other girls husbands.
They should look for theta females who have less need to be in the upper hierarchy socially. Beta females (as well as beta males) have medium to low standards, expectations, and maintenance needs to be happy. They should stick to each other and leave the Alphas of the opposite sex alone anyway. They can only disappoint in the long term.
- LDDGinSB
58
I was married to an Alpha Male. Aggressive, loyal, top dog, egotistical, and yes, sometimes contentious and self righteous. But now many years later I remarried a Beta type. I would take the Alpha any day.
Beta guys are likely to be the "nice" guys to the world. But then they come home and take out their anger (which they never ever show to anyone else) on the dog, wife, sister, or anybody else who they feel secure with. They are fraidy-cats. They have little backbone. They are over estrogenized, I think. They are submissive to a fault, run away from conflict instead of standing their ground, and are stubborn as the day is long in a bland attempt to be self empowered.
Girls might think they would like a "sensitive" guy after experiencing an alpha male. Trust me, be very careful what you ask for.
- anon59669
57
Nowadays, we live in a world that is overseen by self-important professionals who make their living from developing theories to compartmentalize people, and programs to explain or control behaviour.
Alpha and Beta are just two "compartments" that have been created to serve the purposes of such people. They are pseudo-constructions, as ineffable and intangible as other creations such as "mid-life crisis" and "chronic fatigue".
Personalities are as complex and infinite as the stars in the Milky Way and beyond.
As denizens of the modern epoch, we sometimes imagine that we are omniscient. Our history of research, analysis and constantly-reworked categorization of all conduct and mannerism is testament to our inability to fully comprehend the workings of the human mind.
Relationships between people interminably convoluted and assigning "labels" to certain behavioural patterns is folly. However, if it makes us feel more in control of our destinies and distracts us from the unfortunate reality that we truly are quite ignorant, then so be it.
- goldigit
56
Ok.. well actually this article is wrong.
Alpha, Beta, males and females in the ape world have an almost set social position in their group. They don't move to other groups and they are monkeys.
Humans have many social groups: the family, extended family, friends, work groups, etc.
When someone moves to a different group the social position is changed. For example, I might be a introvert and a little shy, but if i was a tour group leader for the tour I would most likely be the alpha male in that group (and attractive to the women tourists). I go home for a family dinner and my respected father is in the group, i am then not the alpha male.
It changes depending on your position your current group and what you are doing. Those that are constantly Beta probably have an inferiority complex or some other disorder and those who are constantly alpha have the same, possibly worse.
Well balanced people (men) will be reasonably confident, not arrogant, and will accept their different social standing and be able to fit in and get on with most people in different social situations.
- anon58859
55
This ridiculous blog site confirms my suspicions that everyone on this relatively small planet named Earth, has a larger than healthy appetite for attention. Alpha male? Whatever! You might as well be talking about Alfalfa.
We males are more akin to this leguminous matter which is principally grown as fodder. Men are simply fodder for woman's unquenchable, relentless desire to control. So forget this crap about alpha, beta, blah blah blah. Whether you're a shrinking violet or a truculent prat, you're simply stalling the inevitable - that fateful day when you meet the girl of your dreams.
Over time, alpha or beta, your gonads will begin to shrink until, one day, they match the size of your slowly-strangled, deflated ego! I hope this settles any argument.
- goldigit
54
The key to becoming attractive toward women is doing. You have to do things as a man to gain attraction.
If you don't take care of yourself by eating, sleeping well, getting enough social activity, exercise, learning, healing yourself if you are sick physically, or otherwise, you will not be attractive to as many people. Remember, people also have to feel accepted and generally liked by people of the same sex in order to feel like woman are attracted toward them.
Ideally a man should learn how to be physically and emotionally healthy by eating right, sleeping well, exercising, dressing well, learning from past mistakes, staying away from toxic environments and people.
The learning should include what woman tend to like about men. If a man doesn't have broad shoulders, he should hit the gym. If he's nervous around women he should practice with not so attractive women even (if he's buffed up and looks his best. You can't afford to be picky at this stage) and move up but not give up if he fails.
Never ever give up. And remember the right knowledge is power. Get your priorities straight. Don't waste your time doing things that are obviously turn-offs to most women.
Never forget that practice makes perfect!
- anon57466
53
Wow. This is really interesting. I haven't really heard the term "Alpha Male" until the other day. I had a disagreement the other day with this guy that I was somewhat interested in. He's very cocky, and he thinks he can get any woman he wants, but every time I tell this guy I can't deal with him and his cocky ways he always asks why am I giving up on him!
So if he is such a stud why does he care if I stop talking to him? Or is that he has so many other women that he's into and he maybe wants to make me part of this pack?
Can someone please give me an opinion on that? And should I continue show interest in this guy or move on? I'm confused!
- anon56293
52
Humans have a incredibly structured social hierarchy, which due to fears and painful insecurities, most of the time we choose to not to see. Even when we are not looking, it's still there and has a massive effect on our self identity and how we move through life.
So alpha and beta males really do exist. if we removed society and all its protection and rules and social programing, what would develop would be the real alpha hierarchy, not the current programmed one.
I think the strong would be the intelligent and the people with the best communication skills would have the most power. A real man would not be about status symbols but about the internal self development and character. That is really what helped intelligent man survive.
- anon56125
51
I despise alpha males. Working as a bouncer in a club, I have to deal with them most nights. If there's any person who is going to screw up a night for others, it's an alpha male, and I'm the one who has to go in and clean it up.
- anon55870
50
I've seen a lot of so called "alphas" who were not alphas at all, but rather they were users or predator cowards. I loved to take care of them when I catch them pick on a smaller man or intimidate a passive woman, because I noticed they only "acted" alpha when they thought they had an upper hand (like a predator). These faux alphas are not heroes or warriors.
Who is a true alpha? The man who stands up for himself in a situation where he may lose. A predator, on the other hand, only acts alpha when he feels he has the upper hand or a winning outcome. A true alpha is a leader among his peers, confident, strong willed, has integrity, etc. Look up "being a man". Peace.
- anon55773
49
A complete man can stand out if he wants, be assertive, pursue what he wants, lead when he wants. I think that there is room enough in the world for most people to do this (including women), and the world would be a better, more fun and positive place.
Ditch this "If i win, others must lose," idea. It was proven wrong a long time ago. Look at all the advances in society, technology etc. that have helped the majority of people.
Look at the sexual liberation of women -- now we all get more sex!
Look at the fact that blacks can intermingle seamlessly and have full human rights too. We have benefited a lot more from freeing those indentured than continuing to dominate them.
I think this concept works within smaller areas as well. Many of the most successful (sexually and financially [which often come hand in hand]) men are not pushy, inconsiderate creeps. They are highly educated people coupled with assertiveness and stick-to-it-iveness who strive to achieve results not image.
I have little desire to lead people for the sake of leading. It's kind of draining and can feel like a waste of time. It's more possible to be considerate and better yourself (and have women thrown at you) than try to mercilessly dominate others, or battle for leadership consistently.
I have found compulsive stereotypical type A personalities boring, one dimensional and pathetic.
There are other avenues to social status, prestige, respect etc. than trying to change your core personality.
I myself would describe myself as a non-leader and non-dominant personality, but i believe in equality and this has allowed me some crucial experiences such as cool friendships, an FFM threesome with a committed girlfriend, kinky sex life otherwise and generally what i want without demeaning people.
You just have to find others who want the same thing and help each other.
Ditch this alpha male thought. Find out what you want (barring sadism) and pursue it alone -and people will flock to you.
- anon54292
48
I have stumbled across this site in looking for a dog and have read a lot of your comments and agree with most of them. After reading I have I have determined that I am definitely a alpha male.
I never really put too much thought into it. even though I am only 5'7" I walk into a room and naturally expect all to notice that I have just arrived! I do not try to act that way -- it comes across naturally. I am not afraid of much but also know I can get my tail kicked but I don't care.
I will instinctively be on the defensive and will attack with great vengeance, and I also will protect friends or family with the same vigor. I cannot stand bullies and will stick up for a complete stranger with the same behavior. What that makes me I don't know.
this was just my 2 cents towards the alpha male conversation. Oh and about obama, he is not an Alpha male. He is a disgrace. Either support our troops and give them what they need or take them home! which are predominantly Alpha males. I guess it takes one to know one!
- anon54198
47
Hi, I for one laughed out loud reading about the alpha males. I found it funny how most males do anything to get the attention of the women whom they consider to be attractive which actually shows a deep rooted insecurity and a fake confidence.Yikes,why do men feel the need to label themselves as alpha, beta,etc,etc as though they were some brand products waiting in the shelves to be marketed. Iam a woman and I do not care if you are an alpha,beta or gama nor will you ever find me trying to get the attention of any males. Never felt the need to dress in order to impress men by showing my body parts, even though I have a beautiful feminine body with long hair, full lips, beautiful eyes and a great voice. I love my voice which is soft, husky and honest as though coming from the very depths of my heart. Men and women have always told me that they find me very beautiful, although I never really take time and put that extra effort to look this way or that. I find myself unlike many women who'd do anything to get a man's attention.I am a true rebel, and a revolutionary individual who cares not a dime to impress anyone. Am my own person and have a mind and heart that is not put together by anybody, any systems or the alpha, sofa males. Also am an emotionally, psychologically, financially independent woman.
But since I was a a young girl all the males I've come upon have fallen head over heels in love and I never understood why cuz I never really dress sexily and stuff. I prefer my man to love me just the way Iam, for what Iam inside, for my intelligence and independent and affectionate person that am. i would never do anything to impress a man,yet I never understood why men kept falling in love. Yes, not in lust,but love. But the nicest part is that they all treat me with respect and care. I really appreciate that. What I find attractive about a male is his intelligence, intelligence not in terms of mere IQ but something more than that, someone who isn't afraid to look deep and inquire into himself and have what it takes to stand alone and with grace, yet comfortable with his masculinity. Men with grace are rare. Thanks for sharing your views and opinions.
- anon53268
46
Where do you people get this crap? What psychobabble magazine or talk show did you see? You're either an Alpha male or you're not. If you're not you're never going to be one. If you are everyone will know it whether it's in H.S. the workplace or on the bus. It has nothing to do with build, wealth or how many women you bed. Talk about movie fantasies.
- anon53240
43
it seems to me that there are two types of alpha males: those who are truly confident in themselves and those who are not. one can tell the difference by whether or not the alpha male's behavior comes across as out to prove something. If he is constantly trying to prove something (if you know you're something, you don't continuously have to prove it -- it comes naturally), he probably is not truly an alpha male.
- anon51046
42
I read a lot of nonsense here about this alpha and beta male theory. The only reason I'm reading through this mess is my lady called me an alpha male today. I had not even thought of such so I got online to get a "feel" for what she meant.
I am a former college football player (I actually played on the field, every game) but never thought of myself as an alpha male - just a guy who got a scholarship and was trying to get an education while doing something I enjoyed. I went on the get an MBA, MSF and CPA(nerdy stuff) but never mentally got into this alpha male/beta male stereotyping stuff.
I own my own two businesses but it is surely not to pick up women. I am confident and carry myself that way because that is who I am and not to impress anyone but my clients.
Bottom line is: I treat clients and customers special and everyone else the way I would want them to treat me. I treat my lady special but I treat all women with respect and consideration because that is how I was taught by my parents, grandparents,aunts, uncles, coaches and all others I look up to and have looked up to in my life.
So, I think it would be a positive thing if all of these people get beyond this stereotyping about alpha, beta or whatever.
Just be confident in yourself, establish goals and objectives and work toward achieving them! However, confidence in oneself comes with setting goals, objectives and working to achieve them. Along the
way, you'll win some, lose a lot of them but the key is to stay on the path of achievement of goals and objectives and just treat people right!
If there is anyone who you feel is such that you can't treat them in a way you would want to be treated - separate yourself from them and keep moving on!
Everything else is just "bunk"!
- anon49800
40
'Alpha males' from experience only get the girls that the other males don't want. the males girls *actually* want are the ones who entertain these so called alpha males and let them be the big confident dude. when you can say to him, "wow you have an amazing girlfriend there, you did well for yourself," and walk away smiling knowing she will be in your bed tomorrow as soon as he leaves for work!
The strongest male position is the high paid professional job where you don't own anything but provide a service. So you don't have to give a flip about anything, reduces ties to anything. girls need a free lad who can afford to go a bit mental sometimes! enjoy.
- anon47072
39
look lads, you're all caught up about this whole alpha male/beta male carry on! but what it sounds like is you want to attract ladies! i'm a doctor who came from a poor background and have never really taken life too seriously. i think all you need to do is don't go looking for a girl; girls are good at finding you, even when you're out with the lads! also dont show your strong characteristics, instead put the effort into not hiding your weak ones. when girls find out for themselves slowly the strong characteristics they become more and more attracted. So stop judging yourselves about this alpha rubbish. relax, be confident in yourself and don't go showing off! i'm no alpha male yet i get all the ladies.
- anon47071
38
In my experience, it's not that women love alpha males. It's that what they really like is a 'strong and confident *man*' who is nice by nature but isn't afraid to exude his masculinity.
Realising this myself over the years, i have been able to continue being the nice guy that i once was, but now exude qualities of a strong alpha male. The woman i'm seeing now has often said to me that i seem to have an 'edge' about my nice character. And it's this that she loves the most. The fact that i'm a nice guy but not afraid to be dominant and strong as a man.
So it's not that you have to be beta or alpha, that's besides the point. What is really the issue is the idea that men have to be subservient and nice in order for women to approve when in fact the opposite is true. Be a *man*. That's all women want :)
- anon45931
37
If you are an Alpha male, then why are you big shot macho guys? Reading the definitions from the internet, and acting like you're gods gift to male dominance - when you require self actualisation and a place to reassure yourselves that you are the Alpha. Trust me, there will always be someone else more dominant and controlling than you, you just probably haven't met them yet, and when you do, *you* will be the Beta.
If you are an alpha male then you also will not need to leave hedonistic self worshipping comments about yourself to others. You will just get on with being an Alpha male.
If you are the Alpha, then I am the Omega. I am the end of this discussion.
- anon45352
36
I spent the last two years with a beta male and loved it because of a bad experience with an alpha that hurt me very deeply. However, after two years being in the relationship with a beta I got bored and left him. I'm back in a relationship with an alpha with qualities the beta did not have. For example, I can feel the passion we have for each other without touching him, I received flowers for no apparent reasons, he makes love to me with apparent pleasure, he is more sexual then sensual and leaves for an entire week end without calling but makes a marvellous come back with a nice dinner in a restaurant. It makes me go crazy when he is independent, but makes me even more attracted to him and makes me feel he has his own life; interests and that I can have fun with my girlfriends a Friday night without receiving a jealous breakdown. Viva them!
- anon45200
35
I am proud of who i am today. When I was young, i got bullied, i lost my first girl to a punk, soon the next week i had another girl, but i was only 17 years old then. By the time i was 20 years old, i was a force to be reckoned with. no male, nor female, could control me, nor defeat me. i transformed into an alpha male, not by choice, but by nature. i worked out with weights, competed in bodybuilding, and football, as a way of building my confidence. from then on, i feared nothing and no one. Today at 52 years old, i am still an alpha male. people fear me, not just because i am tall, but they feel the authority that encompasses me. i only have to walk into a crowded room, a doctor's office, a mall or any place where there are a lot of males and females and i attract their attention, both male and female. That is the power of an alpha male. you do not want the attention, but you have it, when the room suddenly gets quiet when you walk in, then you know that you are an alpha male, or they think that you just look weird. i must not look weird. i have women asking me for dates, but i will choose who i want to be with, out of my own arrogance.
- anon44722
34
Want to be a so called alpha male. All you need is confidence, a great sense of humour and charm. All those cocky posers with their gym muscles and ape like posturings are just laughable.
- anon43657
33
Interesting. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a train I need to run in front of.
- anon43614
32
I am an alpha male, and to one of the above comments, yes she will stay with the nerd for life due to his status and stability but guess how many times I had sex with her and guess how many times she kissed him and left my dna on his lips. I am an alpha that will soon have his masters in business and I will be unstoppable in today's society. I have a rock solid body and god has blessed me with great looks. people who hate alphas are haters, you wish you could be one. the alpha role is not for everyone to fill -- it's as simple as that. Yes I was bullied at a very young age and lost many girls i liked to these alphas but not once did i hate them. I envied them, I understood why I was being bullied and why i was still a virgin and all the girls i went on dates with were messing around with my best friend (alpha) so I transformed myself at 18 to what I am now.
As for our friend above from the philippines I'm sorry for your health conditions although i too had asthma and conquered it. maybe you can too. If you can't get the body there are other ways of becoming an alpha. big does not mean alpha or sexy. someone mentioned above the way you carry yourself although he sounded very cocky. those are the guys i knock in the washroom where there is no camera as I ask them wtf are they so proud of. a small tiny cocky loudmouthed individual like him is not an alpha male. far from it. again not everyone can carry the role, he is making the best of it. those little creeps that use today's laws to hide behind and come to the club or mall and flaunt their attitude like they are hot get crapped on in more ways than one. maybe i'm too competitive. no, not maybe. i am very competitive. alpha males are feared and most of us are in jail because society wants to protect their little girls and guys. i couldn't knock one guy once because he said he would call the police so i messed around with his girl. and no there aren't that many alphas around. look at all the tv shows from friends, king of queens, everybody loves raymond, two and a half men. all the men are getting nagged and emasculated by their mothers (which i must say is very disgusting having your own mother do that) sisters, ex-wives, maids, mother in-laws, etc. people it's not all your or our faults. there is fluoride in our water which makes us very submissive and impotent as well, our food today has many things in it that are whipping out of testosterone. get serious get real and get to the gym and get that confidence and embrace life.
- anon43566
31
being an alpha is all in the way you carry yourself. it has nothing to do with build or looks.
i'm 5'7" 130 pounds and i'm very alpha. being an alpha is being a leader of men. in this day and age that doesn't only mean being brawny.
- anon43141
30
Jesus Christ is the alpha and omega! The beginning and the end of all creation!
- anon42985
28
I hate alpha males. Their attitudes and behaviors are socially and economically destructive. I did, however, have a lot of fun beating them up in high school, and now I enjoy telling them what to do all day at work. ;) ~Signed: The muscular nerd.
- anon42391
27
The alpha male in most cases is that fat kid or geek that gets a regular beating on the school playground, that 12 year old that gets rejected by the first girl that he asks out, that useless piece of poo whose teacher tells him he's too stupid to make it through school. that child then grows up with a lack of confidence or he says forget this, I'm as good as everyone else and turns himself into an oxford rhodes scholar with perfect abs.
- anon40576
25
OMG!! Your comments are so outrageous... By being alpha doesnt only mean being dominant.. Dominance is something that is conveyed through the way they act towards different situation and ofcourse at the way they look at things...Alpha males are positive in nature. They try to look at the brighter side of things.. Dominance doesn't mean getting things done forcibly but more over influencing the people to get the work done... And your idea about Alpha Males being sociopaths are total bull crap if you ask me... Alpha Males are not born alpha .. The things that they go through life make them alpha.. Alpha Males don't hurt people..Jerks do.. and clearly you people have totally confused yourself about these two types.. and people whining about how alpha males suck.. you are getting dominated by some alpha male and you dont have the guts to stand up for yourself. that is what is called being a "Beta." Cheers, Adi
- anon37423
24
I found this very useful information especially being an attractive female in the workplace. It doesn't matter if you are married or not, the alpha male still wants you and wins!
- anon35563
23
Well there are all kinds of alpha males. A man can have flawed genes and still be an alpha male. They'll just end up being the bums and losers after high school due to poor decisions, no drive, low intelligence, etc. I happen to be an exceptionally smart and genetically gifted alpha male, although I also have the unique perspective of having been the shy reclusive geek as a kid. From what I can tell most of the negative views of alpha males amongst others stems from specific negative experiences that person has had with lesser alpha males. One should not forget that for every drunken wife beater there's ten good men just living their lives day to day and making a positive impact on others.
- anon34765
21
To anyone who may read this article:
Forgive me for putting in such a long comment though - please bear with me. I am a 28 year old Filipino male, a local here in the Philippines.
To be honest with you, reading this article about alpha males had opened wounds for me, and has also set me asking about myself, about how I am supposed to stand in this society which seems to idolize men -- or boys -- whom they see as physically ideal to lead this pandemonium we call society.
I cannot really classify myself as an alpla male -- for physically, I am no beefcake. I have a heart disorder and am asthmatic, therefore my physical activities are very much limited (cannot go into sports or any of those male-oriented activities). Due to this I am skinny. Also, since I had not exposed myself to those things that boys would find energetic or interesting ( Due to my physical conditions) I have been bullied, scorned at and shunned away by boys then my age -- now fully grown men, who at this point, have grown ideally to become the things that you call "alpha males" -- young, good looking, strong, and successful in terms of their jobs, love life, etc.
I am no alpha male, nor am I some beta male -- for in a long span of my life, I have been a ghost -- if not a nerd -- physically weak with no experience in most sports, cars or this things that most males especially alpha males, identify themselves with.
But gleaning from experience and with all the men that I see and come across with, it seems that being the top male does not really matter. For as of now, here in my neighborhood, there are some men whom you may classify as alpha males -- physically strong and something that the girls would like to take home with, but in the long span proved to be irresponsible fathers, notorious drunkards, hardened macho criminals (who seem to flaunt their criminal records) bums, and worst of all bullies who like to push weaker people around to the point of beating them up-- weaker men like me.
Somewhat this article about "alpha males" strikes down into those many definitions and avenues of what it truly means to be a man -- a real man in this sense. But to me (and I don't know if you would agree with me) being physically strong or assertive (or being the alpha male in the hot sense of the word) does not really matter right now -- if the guy can prove to be a very responsible and caring father, a dutiful son, an honest worker, or a morally upright leader in the community -- oh yes, and someone who knows how to respect women, bearing in mind that he has a mother or a sister too.
To anyone out there, who may care to read this article and my comments, what do you think? Thank you and more power.
- anon33957
20
I don't buy any of this alpha\beta stuff. That is reserved for apes and canines. We are humans, much more complex, and we can't be classified like monkeys.
- Volition
19
"It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls." I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that is frankly not true. Women enjoy the company of "nerds" (again, term used with much respect) as a reliable constant, as a friend; don't expect casual sex or a sexual relationship from being nice. It's not a case of being nice or respectful, or at the other end of that spectrum, to be overwhelmingly dominant over other people and aggravating colleagues and people at large, rather to be respected, to have an aire of dominance achieved through casual (not tense or stressed) interaction with people and to have confidence well from inside.
My suggestions come from little/developing personal experience, but they are however founded on collaboratively agreeable information. Alphaness is merely a description of confidence and although (like anything I suppose) looks, muscularity or wealth/power don't hurt, the keystone is confidence. Unfortunately (perhaps from the perspective of women) the beauty (perhaps from the perspective of men) of Alpha traits is that they are supposed to be subtle. If woman are detecting a strong dominance, because men are hitting on women hard, then clearly sex/relationship will be out of the question as per anon23087's experience. The overpowering tactic is a deterrent and that is a key mistake of the Beta not the Alpha.
Take for example the previously mentioned example about President Obama. "Good communication skills, sensitivity towards others and downplays his strengths in order to showcase the strengths of others", these are not coincidences. Question this, if these subtle tactics were not utilized, could he have instilled a sense of leadership in the American community, leading to an overwhelming majority in his favour. This, contrary to anon18661's view is precisely the idea being the true Alpha male, because all of a sudden the "nice guy" the attentive, intelligent, understanding candidate is in control of the modern worlds largest superpower. His leadership/empowerment happened, but without anyone being acutely aware of why it was you were compelled to vote for him. Alpha.
To conclude the goal of any beta or otherwise is to feed internally a sense of self worth and confidence. Success with women and indeed with everyone will stem from a personal sense of empowerment and certainly not one that always needs to be proven be frequently throwing your power or best qualities around in a really obvious or showy way. After all, women are very subtle, emotionally invested and sensitive creatures, they will (duh) pick up on obvious advances. It's what makes them desirable and worth the care in the first place.
- anon30954
18
You can be an alpha without being a narcissist. You ask about other's feelings, then *you* make a decision.
- anon27559
15
Beta males invent the tools to screw up the planet and alpha males use them (to further their own ends).
- anon24710
14
Being indifferent and having a willingness to emote represents alpha behavior. You don't have to be good looking to exude confidence and be attractive to others.
- anon23971
13
Alpha male as described here may be a regional American thing. Some subcultures in the US and others outside find the stereotypical US alpha male dubious mating material. Nice to look at, but not so cool when his alpha persona decides after 10 years of marriage it's time to leave for a younger woman. I'd rather have beta fidelity than alpha cocksureness.
- anon23770
12
The Alpha Male term is commonly used on the hit TV series Survivor (17 seasons). It's applicable to the muscular, stronger males who may dominate physical orientated challenges. They usually don't get voted off in the beginning (need them for team challenges) but they get voted off in the middle of the show (so no-one faces them at the end). The personalities all vary: some are quiet, low key while others are very abrasive, confrontational. Regardless, these guys stick out in the crowd based on their nice physical features.
- anon23117
11
I can't stand Alpha Males, I encounter them at work, and as a Beta Female, they always try to dominate me. When I refuse to be their subservient toy they try to break me. I'm a small, shy pacificist, and yet they take pleasure in an easy kill! Is it just me, or are there more of them around than ever? Most Alpha Males I've met seem to share many traits with Narcissists.
- anon23087
10
As humans, we share similarities to other animals, and thus can reflect social behaviors, such as being an alpha male. The Alpha male, where it is present in non-human animal groups, is a being that has characteristics of "leading the pack" in their evolution. Wolves do it because physical prowess and strength, amongst other things, shows that the species will essentially continue to live and succeed. Alpha females support this idea as well. In human animals, female and male roles can both lead to this succession. Alpha roles should be defined in humans as leaders that promote communal succession(thrive, grow and prosper) that harmonize environmentally with our ecology. Managers are not leaders. Corporations are not leaders. Dominators are not leaders. I suppose this might suggest that these leaders would be a yin\yang balance of beta and alpha for humans.
- anon22612
9
The nerd in the classroom is probably your boss today. If you think your "alpha male" looks and demeanor can steal his/her spouse away (beyond sex encounters), good luck. That spouse will want to keep position in life, first. The view is different from the head table than sitting in the crowd.
- anon19639
8
Based on the definitions of alpha and beta males above, it seems that John McCain is the alpha male, who's contentious, bullying characteristics in the workplace are not helpful, whereas Barack Obama is the beta male: good communication skills, sensitivity towards others and downplays his strengths in order to showcase the strengths of others. When viewed in this way, it is easy to choose the right person to lead us forward into the 21st century.
- anon18661
7
That part about the alpha male having higher socioeconomic status (good job, etc...) is utter crap. An alpha male might be jobless and just coming out of the mental institute, he will still do a great alpha male. It's all about confidence when treating with other people.
- anon17355
5
a sociopath is one who lacks regard for others. alpha doesn't mean they don't care -- it means they dominate.
- anon16942
2
What is the difference between an Alpha Male and a Sociopath?
- anon13426
1
ladies, watch out for those alpha males! be prepared to take second seat to them...i bet they're prone to being more controlling and critical if you don't live up to their "alpha" expectations!