What is a Twinless Twin?

A twinless twin is a twin who has lost his or her sibling. This term is also used to describe other co-multiples, such as a triplet who has lost a sibling. Twinless twins are a topic of interest for some psychologists because their experiences are quite unique; even if the sibling dies in utero, a twinless twin often experiences psychological difficulties later in life which seem to be related to the loss of the co-multiple.

In some cases, a twinless twin loses a sibling in utero, due to complications of the pregnancy. Even though the twins never meet in life, their co-development in the womb apparently leaves a strong mark, and many twinless twins in this situation report feelings of loss or incompleteness later in life. A twinless twin may actually guess that he or she had a sibling in the womb before this fact is revealed, suggesting that a very strong connection is forged between co-multiples, even at an early gestational age.

One of the most common causes for a co-multiple to die during pregnancy is a condition known as vanishing twin syndrome. Vanishing twins die and are reabsorbed by the body, sometimes before the mother is even aware that she was carrying multiples. Estimates of the frequency of vanishing twin syndrome vary, but it may be as common as six out of every hundred pregnancies. The powerful bond between twins is different from that between other siblings, and it also endures beyond the confines of the uterus.

Because it is unusual for co-multiples to die simultaneously, every twin runs the risk of becoming a twinless twin. Twinless twins often experience immense psychological anguish, especially if their siblings lived into adulthood, allowing the twins to develop an even stronger bond. Twinless twins have reported a wide variety of symptoms, ranging from depression to fear of mirrors, and there are a number of twinless twin support organizations to connect twinless twins with people who understand what they are going through.

Studies seem to suggest that a twinless twin may sometimes feel obliged to live for two. Twinless twins may be driven, for example, to excel personally and professionally, to make up for the loss of a sibling's contribution to the world. Others have said that they feel obliged to work especially hard to please their parents. A twinless twin may also develop feelings of incompleteness, loss, or confusion as a result of the loss of the sibling, even if the two lived relatively independent lives.

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5
my identical mirror image twin sister passed away almost four years ago at the age of 30 totally unexpectedly. Trust me when i tell you we were born only two minutes apart, we worked together, lived together and were the very best of friends. i am so lost and so empty in this world without her.

I am blessed to have a wonderful mom and a wonderful husband but when i smile now it's just for show. i am heart broken 24/7 365. how do you go on in life without your other half? i miss my sister more than i could even put into words.

For the lucky twins out there love your twin with all of your heart, hug them, kiss them and be thankful for your twin. nobody knows you or loves you like your twin. just because we were born together we don't get to die together and if you're the one who outlives your twin, your soul will be completely crushed forever.

Dying of a broken heart is not for real because i am typing this comment right? i want to be happy and my sister would want me to be happy but i am overtaken by complete utter sadness. i used to be scared to die and now i can't wait. i just want to be with my twin.

- anon70236
4
I just found out about twinless twins. I've felt my whole life that I had a twin, although my mom always denied it. Even as a small kid I would tell her I had a twin and she would say there was no way, she only gave birth to one baby. Is it possible that I had a twin and my mother didn't know?
- anon61921
3
how would you know if you where one of them? is there a genetic pattern unique to twins

and so even if one dies in the womb there's still a way to know if there was a sibling years later,

via the surviving twin?

- anon22036
1
I have a set of twin girls and one has moved out of our home to live with her father. Can this affect the twin relationship like this. They don't see each other anytime but at school and they don't talk then.
- anon17799

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Written by S.E. Smith
Last Modified: 12 March 2010

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