My now ex husband made up a lie to get rid of me and his kids, just 2 months after having his second son. He made up a lie that he was coming back to be a recruiter and I fell for it cause I wanted to return from where we were to go to college and finish my degree. He gave me the permission to buy a house and get everything ready for his return he then proceded to not even help pay child support or pay for the house payments. Come to find out that he was traveling Europe with our married next door neighbor and could never come back to be a recruiter. This was the second time he made up a lie to get rid of me and his kids. I also found out that he was intimate her when I was on bed rest with his second son! What kind of a person does that? He took everything away from me, until I met him I had 5 horses a nice truck, trailer and a car! Now all I have is our two kids which he has almost nothing to do with, he only shows up every 2 years so I can't get him for abandonment. He won't even help pay for medical bills. When I ask him to help pay he turns me into the state for not taking care of my kids, which is not true!

I have to say, after reading all of these experiences and hearing all of your advice, I think I'm a sociopath too!

But seriously, i don't think a sociopath would put itself into any kind of personal perils or risky situations. So yes, while they constantly hurt the people they use or the people in their way, they won't risk being caught or discovered for what they truly are. At least that's my personal opinion. I believe that, to them, being understood can lead to them losing their power over normal everyday people. Because if we all understood them we could easily disarm them of their worst weapon, their ability to blend in and manipulate anyone. They most likely work in secret, undisturbed and unopposed, able to flow towards their goals as normal people. And any sociopath who is afraid or fears it's own abilities can't possible be described as a sociopath.

I have personal experiences with several, they consider themselves more special and gifted than anyone on Earth. They know this and they are humble of the immense "gift" they have, they are aware oh what they are, they fully understand it, and they cherish it.

I highly doubt that any sociopath would dare risk losing what they have, because they are definitely aware of the power they have.

At least, that what i believe.

It's scary to think that these types of people are out there. But here's a thought, it would be hard for any of them to work together! If they all see themselves as gods and such, then i doubt they get together very well. So i suppose we should be grateful that they don't have the capacity to assemble. Just think of the self destruction that they could accomplish on people everywhere. I believe that the real dangerous ones are the sociopathic people capable of truly disappearing into society, just think. Maybe many of the worlds leaders and successful persons could in fact be these people. Simply so well hidden, that we follow them without a second thought... That's scary.

May i kindly say that sociopaths are still people. My family his the genes of sociopaths and i was lucky it skipped me. However both my older brother, younger sister and father are all sociopaths. My sister finds pleasure in tormenting (mentally) the other children at her school, i love her and treasure her and she confides in only me. My brother goes through women like there's no tomorrow and although he is incredibly smart he screws up every college he gets into.

I can't handle the pain of others and i am (and i really am not trying to brag lol) a sort of caring person. My boyfriend is also a sociopath. He is cold to others and has gotten into many fights but he confides in me. I know it's not a facade. But for some lovely reason he seemed to have some feeling toward me.

My point is that sometimes sociopaths are feared more that they should be.

So you want to meet a sociopath.

I want to say first off i was raised in a normal middle class home mom and dad lil sis and a dog LOL,, I feel i dont have a disorder i dont see anything wrong with the way i see things. As far back as i can remember i felt like i was better than whoever i meet, I was smarter then my teachers friends and so-forth. I have not one friend but i am popular, Never had a birthday party as a kid never felt the need to talk to anyone, I think i have an edge not a disorder. As soon as ya meet me I quickly mold and conform to your opinions for one reason so ya will open up and speak. I will smile listen and encourage you to go on. I will be just as ya want me to be,, but the whole time im analyzing everything. This is subconscious and i have no real agenda. I get a kick out of changing peoples minds and making them think i have all the answers. I dont see it as a flaw that i can out wit you, that i can read you, I think people want to be a sociopath cause it sounds cool, no remorse, no guilt, no cares, it's like being superhuman, I dont know, i cant change who i am, I mean i didnt even finish high school.

I live in a new house, new car, i work in an office doing nothing and last year i made over 60k. Im 29 i have several girls that think im a god. And i like to keep them and i love the things they do for me, but if even one of them stopped hanging out with me i wouldn't care. Truth is love, loneliness, sadness ect are all weakness to be exploited. The 4% rule is stupid, nobody knows what i feel, what i do, and if your x was a sociopath {well a true master} you would still long for him/her and feel empty and worthless without them.. this is the spell as you call it.

I just want to ask.... You think sociopaths are happy with their lives? I mean after moving on from one victim to another, you think he can be happy?

Hi im anonymous and yes i am a complete sociopath and people hate me for that but im not crazy, dangerous or scary. i was just born never crying and uncaring and guess what my family is intact and strong (oh and i do not have a big ego or am insecure)not including me though. think on that.

also forgot to mention that i could care less about hurting people but that doesn't mean i'm gonna do it! Also most sociopaths that are my age (which is 13)cant w8 to leave their families and often fantasize of running away so watch out!

anon31201:

"It is *not possible* for there to be this many people who are dating a sociopath, considering that sociopaths make up about 4% of the population."

I absolutely *love* the emphasis on *not possible*.

See, I'm just trying to figure out why, out of the 4% of the more than 6.7 billion people on earth that would be sociopaths, there couldn't *possibly* be 50-100 posts by sociopaths (or people who know them) on a page that ranks highly in searches for the term 'sociopath.'

I am in a state of disbelief after reading several websites featuring Jeffrey Dahmer, many of which attempt to explain his murderous lifestyle to be the result of an unhappy childhood. Many children suffer childhood illnesses and traumas and come from broken homes, but almost none of these kill and mutilate others for personal pleasure. Jeffrey Dahmer did what he did because he was a sociopath, more prolific in murder and more damaging to society than most, but a sociopath all the same. It is time for Americans to take a hard look at what is happening around them. Sociopathy, also called psychopathy, follows the maternal DNA, and is now present in approximately 1 in 32 Americans, with no decline apparent. Although the overwhelming majority of sociopaths never murder anyone, their negative influence can still be felt in almost every company and in many households in America. I encourage everyone to self-educate by using the internet. Learn the warning signs. Protect yourselves.

Anti-social or Borderline personality disorder are often characterized by child-hood trauma of some sort - not always, but it's a common theme.

I know one person in my life that I can label to be the closest thing to a 'sociopath' that I have ever come across. Lack of empathy, remorse, overly sensitive, unhealthily self-loving, liar, manipulator and so on and so forth. He does have a 'nice' side, though it's impossible to tell if that's a facade or not. I do think that everyone needs people in their life, so even a 'sociopath' will endeavor to maintain some relationships...if only out of necessity.

When it comes to love...the 'Sociopath' will turn on the charm to the extreme - if the object of his affections doesn't 'cave in' immediately, he/she will do whatever it takes, because the object here is (usually) to feed one's ego and achieve 'success'. Once that success is achieved - it's onto the next thing.

The 'Sociopath' probably doesn't have a close relationship with his family but it's important to note that he or she doesn't lie to everyone - there will be one person (maybe more) who he/she can be honest with. This person will usually be of a stronger personality type and the 'sociopath' knows he/she can't fool them.

Mostly, though - people can be fooled, and they know this and this is why their behavior continues -because a lot of the time, they are successful. Their 'victims' are generally people who are somewhat insecure and naive. For example - the 'sociopath' may be all over you within a relatively short period of time - uttering "I love you's" and idolization - a more secure person would know that it's all hot-air, a less secure person will latch onto it for dear life. They have no desire to form a long-lasting, loyal relationship so their aim is to fool someone as quick as possible and see immediate results. Once you've given them what they want, you'll be ignored and forgotten about.

A disregard for human life, lack of empathy etc are all part of the parcel but it may be surprising to know that sociopaths are generally fearful of other people (especially 'stronger' people) and will feel intimated and paranoid quite easily - this is not something they can usually hide, you'll see the fear written all over their face. 'Sociopaths' are extremely fearful of getting their ego's wounded - so, let's just say a lover cheated on them...they'd feel incredibly angry, not because they loved their partner necessarily, but because they were wronged.

The 'Sociopath' will generally have a grandiose and delusional sense of worth - they think they are amazing in some way. This might be some sort of mechanism to deal with insecurity - remember back in high-school, how the bully usually had 'issues'? Well, it's not so different here.

For some reason, 'sociopaths' like animals, especially dogs. It may have something to do with the sycophantic, loyal nature of dogs but it may also have to do with the fact that the 'sociopaths' disdain is towards humans, not animals or objects. Again, this goes back to the 'childhood trauma' thing - he/she was most likely traumatized by human beings, hence the hatred is directed towards them.

Whether or not 'sociopathy' is an illness or not is debatable but it definitely has some elements of other known illnesses. They have periods of low moods, manic moods etc reflective of Bi-polar/manic depression. It's a hard illness to pin-point because diagnosing a mental illness relies on honesty and often, the 'sociopath' is unwilling to surrender to honesty. Also, because they are very capable of maintaining appearances - it's hard to tell. About the most obvious symptom is an inability to hold down a job, but this is true of most mental illnesses also.

In response to 6571 - lesson hard learnt! Well done for escaping - do not be tempted to back-track with this person - he will just drag your life down again. Painful for the victims of sociopaths that it is, he *will* have moved on to the next 'sucker' (as he sees it) who will meet his needs and that he can abuse, with impunity. One of the things that makes these types appealing to us genuine folk is that we admire their ability and intelligence to 'read' situations - it is how they 'choose' to use this mechanism to manipulate us - I believe all talents can be used for good or bad - *they choose.*. It's all very well thinking that we can develop techniques to to keep the worst of their behaviour at bay but, let's face it, they are always one step ahead - because they have mastered their art - in my opinion, they aren't sick and suffering, they are too lazy to do life for themselves and are enjoying having power over another - it makes them feel clever and important and we, as normal people, with empathy and conscience cannot understand this. Before any of you sociopath supporters out there get on my case about being 'judgmental' about this 'illness' - maybe you should experience trying to recover from your whole world being torn apart because you were naive enough to love and care about one of these people - genuinely - to have everything taken from you that you held dear and your whole financially foundation destroyed. Trying to rebuild your life when you and it have been shattered and exhausted takes real strength and courage and that's before you have even dealt with the pain, hurt and ensuing bitterness in the realisation that you have been used, abused and battered by some half human who feels no sense of guilt or remorse for all the destruction they've left in their wake.

Pat yourself on the back 6571 for ridding your life of this parasite - what's certain is that they and their 'disease' cause other people to become ill both physically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. I don't recognise it as sociopathic - I'm old fashioned - it's just plain selfishness - maybe a therapy session in the three good old "ilities" - 'humility, accountability and responsibility' would be more fitting instead of pandering to their already over-inflated egos that they are 'special' cases by giving them a nice neat little phsyco-babble title.

It seems crazy to some people that everyone seems to know a Sociopath. I attended last year a course on Attachment and Loss of children and as we went through the problems young children can face if not properly connected with their parents, these children display the very same symptoms that sociopaths display. My daughter has them and that is because our relationship was strained since she was a small child.

With the climate of broken families growing day by day I fear we have a rising generation of antisocial disorder adults to be released on the world. This problem is far more common than we realise.

Because of my own experiences I can detect quicker than I used to people who have these disorders and can take or leave their friendship. For me, it's fine as a friend to a certain degree but not in a personal romantic relationship. I know the score so I can keep it at bay.

i don't think S's just make up 4% of the population...there are so many sick people out there today that it's not just a tiny portion of the pop who are psychopaths or sociopaths...

there are so many that too many ppl exhibit these characteristics of no remorse etc and they are so easy to spot.

Wow, now I really believe I work with a Sociopath. This person has no remorse for anything or anyone. She and I work with troubled teenagers. She has done more harm than good to these kids. She has lied and talked her way out of so many things she has done wrong at work. She is very promiscuous - has been with about 5 guys in 6 months. She is 28 and is now seeing an 18 year old. She thinks she is better than anyone else and cannot name one thing she doesn't like about herself. She blames everyone for her mistakes, thinks she knows it *all* and is never wrong. If she is proven wrong she quickly says "whatever" and gives an attitude. She breaks rules constantly at work and has serious issues with those of us who follow them. She has been at this job for only a few months and is trying to take over. She is divorced and has a 3 year old son who she really couldn't care less about. Her credit is destroyed, yet she blames her ex. I can go on and on. Some of us have gone to our supervisor, who is looking into things, but we are afraid of what type of revenge she will try to get if something happens.

sociopaths are easy to understand...they just don't care...no disregard...only out for their own benefit...extremely selfish greedy narcissistic sometimes dangerous...they're everywhere unfortunately.

anon31201: you sound like you may have trouble yourself. not everyone does things to benefit themselves with no regard for others, not everyone shows these types of personality traits.

the post by anon12546 helped a lot. the story was fresh and cruel and i feel bad for her.

If I read one more post saying, "I'm a sociopath," ot "My boyfriend is a sociopath," I might actually go insane. It is *not possible* for there to be this many people who are dating a sociopath, considering that sociopaths make up about 4% of the population. I don't doubt that all of you were mistreated at some point or another, but that doesn't make your ex a sociopath. Most people will at one point or another do something immoral and feel no remorse afterwords, most people will at some point manipulate others to achieve their own ends. There are bad people in the world, and there are plenty of them. Being a bad person does not make you a sociopath. I'm sorry to say, but you got mistreated by a jerk. He doesn't necessarily have a psychological disorder.

And for all of you saying, "I'm afraid that I might be a sociopath," stop being dramatic. The very definition of being a sociopath is disregarding social norms for personal gain with no remorse. In worrying about being a sociopath, you are *regarding societal norms.* A true sociopath wouldn't care whether or not they were a sociopath, and they *certainly* wouldn't seek treatment. Even if they recognized that they had a disorder, they wouldn't care. So yeah, you may have done something awful and immoral. And yes, you may not have felt guilty afterward. That just means that you've successfully justified your behavior to yourself. Congratulations, welcome to human nature. Diagnosing yourself as a sociopath is just another excuse as to why your behavior isn't your fault. Everybody does it at one point or another. Reading up on psychopaths will only make you paranoid.

I've been reading these posts for about one hour, and I think what most of you people ought to know is that there are *very* few people who can actually be qualified as a full sociopath, many others (such as myself) have traits of immoral behavior and the great majority of people just act normally.

I am not the nicest person in the world, and often find myself hurting those I supposedly love, but that does not mean that I wouldn't suffer if they were gone.

I've grown up moving constantly from one place to the other, which has made me feel that I basically have no home. I am *very* insecure of my social status, even though my parents are very well off. However my ambition of being the son of bill gates has made me lie on basically 90 percent of my life. This occurs in such an intensity that *none* of my friends actually know what my life is actually like. I am cold, arrogant and mean to 80 percent of the people who surround me and have lied, conned, manipulated and sabotaged many people in high school and university to obtain the so-called popularity (which, coming clear to me many years later, was actually a very shallow group of people who never cared about me at all, but where drawn to me by the power I held in these places) that everyone so eagerly looks for on these stages of their lives. I yearn to be the center of attention of *any* place I go to. I steal from my parents, sister and grandmother on a regular basis to fill up this false "rich boy" facade that i put out to the world, because deep down I know that this is what most people actually like. I feel no remorse or guilt for any of the *numerous* bad actions I commit, because I always find a justification for them. I am a firm believer that the punishment should exceed the crime (talion law) and that the ends *always* justifies the means. I live in a false bubble of glitter that makes me alienate myself from the real world and makes most people who meet me hate my guts. I have virtually *no* respect for authority, but *never* get on their black lists because I know they are the ones who can back my actions with others (this rule does, most emphatically, not apply to my household relationships, where I could not care less what my parent's do or think of me). I also seem to be blatantly unaware of the consequences of my actions, not caring what these are, or what they might do to my future.

You must think I'm quite a jerk, right?

You are probably right, but it's not all bad, know that. I can be *very* kind and considerate, I am extremely loyal to my *real* friends, and one of the things I *hate* the most is betrayal of trust or of any sort for that matter. I can put myself in the shoes of those whom I care about (which are *very* few, but be that as it may, they exist) and advise them *from the heart and with no hidden or secret agenda* what they should do in times of awe. I am not at all envious of people, and least of all those I love. My sister is by far the *only* person I fully and unconditionally love, and the one and only person I’d jump into the fire to save, but I have also 3 friends who are my pillars of trust on this world. I *love* animals, especially dogs (more than humans) and I would *never* do anything to deliberately harm or hurt them (unless my own life or that of my loved ones is in danger of course).

So to sum it all up, I think I do have sociopathic traits, but, like most people in the world who have a good and a bad side, they represent no real harm to people, unless they're looking for trouble, in which case I am capable of going to any end.

ok i want to make a post as a person who has been called both the most crazed and demented person ever known and an absolute saint and a grace.

i may be a sociopath for all i know, i have no value for society's rules, seeing as they have failed me many times and i have no problem using people, because more often then not people want to be told what to do, and in fact i take a great amount of joy scaring people out of there complacent little lives by telling them the absolute truth in the worst ways i can.

i also have to deal with a debilitating pain caused by the bureaucratic lawyer fearing doctors not willing to do what is right because they knew it was not "supported" by society (might be a part to my mood).

i rend truth from everything i can no matter the cost, i have exposed the lies and broken the psyches of so many, i have caused divorces, destroyed families, exposed frauds and sent people to mental health facilities kicking and screaming, and not once from all of those people, not once have I a meet a single one after and have they said anything but thank you, except the ones who found themselves in jail.

so here is the question: i care nothing for a society that has not helped me, i willingly destroy peoples lives with the starkest truths i can find just because i cannot see people living in there disillusions while i have to suffer from a pain no medication can take the edge off of, but does that make me as bad as those who do more terrible things?

there are too many levels to this, my point is said though it could be worse, try dealing with someone who is passive aggressive.

I am a middle aged woman and a high school teacher and church chaplain. A young man came to me over a year ago allegedly wanting help. His parents were incarcerated and he was on the streets. I poured love on him only to have our relationship continue to worsen as he tried to dominate me, abuse me, etc, etc. Finally his family told me he had been diagnosed as a sociopath, had been locked up for child molesting, couldn't keep a job because of stealing, not showing up, etc. I couldn't believe there was such a thing as a person who has no conscience, no morals, no ability to give or receive love or to know God, no empathy, no hope for a good life. Only a question of how many people he hurts before he dies. But now I do know and it hurts me very much to say that there is no hope, no cure. The only important thing is to protect the innocent people whom he will try to victimize. I have had a lot of spiritual counseling for this and still do not understand. However, I have stopped questioning and released it to the Great Unknown.

I'm a 63 year old woman and want to warn other "old ladies" about young male sociopaths who aim to prey on us -- live off us. They call us Mom and promise to be the best son we ever had. We are especially vulnerable if we have no children and no husband. They are charming and sweet-talking and will bleed us emotionally and financially. When they have gotten all they want or think they can get from us, they leave for one of their other old ladies -- they have plenty. You can spot them like this: they come on too strong, too gushy, too attentive. They want pity. They want you to give them things and do things for you. Their needs are always more important than yours. They think they have never done anything wrong -- they believe they are victims of an unfair environment, upbringing, etc. They say they want to help themselves and are trying so hard. They lie, manipulate, play games try to dominate you. They want you to help them, and they promise to help you later. They will only hurt you in the end. Get away. Tell your friends about them and believe your friends -- not them.

I was the victim of a sociopath. He became extremely possessive of me -- not wanting me to spend time with friends or family. To get away from him, I first went to an attorney and threatened him with a temporary restraining order if he came near me or contacted me in any way. That worked for about a month. Then he got really weird and I got really scared. So I went to a psychologist who told me that the TRO threat had actually put me in greater danger. I should re-connect with him and then get away by making him think it was his choice.

Working day by day with the psychologist, I gave him what he wanted -- just always a little less -- so he saw me as less and less of a willing victim. After three weeks, he started saying things like "I'm getting tired" and "I'm wasting my time". Finally he ditched me. That was several months ago and I am starting to feel safe again. Yes, I miss him as the good times were very good, and I am still going to the psychologist to make sure I don't go back.

A sociopath looks at his victim the way a dog looks at a bone. He loves his bone. Prizes his bone. Doesn't want anyone else near his bone. But the only intention he ever has is to get what he can from the bone and then ditch it. If you are a bone who loves your sociopath so much you can't leave him, you are sick and need help. Go to a psychologist before your sociopath takes you further down, makes you mentally ill and ruins your life.

this is a personal opinion and has no judgment on anybody's comments above or below this one:

Psychopathy is a socially feared, man-made condition that is stereotyped by the media.

Speaking in honesty with a bunch of strangers on this comment board is purely encouraged by my insult and disgust that society can band together in approval to judge and outlaw a type of personality because it is deemed collectively unacceptable. This social dogma should be seen as negative profiling as severe as profiling homosexuality, or other cognitive matters that have not been intentionally created. I find it unbelievable that this ‘disorder’ has gone as far as “What To Do When You Discover a Psychopath” with such advice as "get paper trails and evidence", "tell everyone you know". Soon it will be okay to run at people with pitchforks and torches. And to think that these profiles are written by apparent educated people. Most of these articles have pulled statistics from Wikipedia which was likely edited by your neighbor with antisocial personality disorder!

I am tired of psychopaths/sociopaths being compared to “Normal” people who are about as deep as limbo. Isn’t this all just a little bit hypocritical? These articles are saying Sociopaths/Psychopaths have a highly narcissistic view of themselves…but has anybody stopped to look at the psychiatrists and doctors writing the articles? These articles are socially outlawing sociopaths and instilling fear in the readers. Wouldn’t this be a little bit ‘high on one’s self' for you all to agree that these people are of a lesser value than yourself with your “normal” socially constructed way of thinking? I suppose it is easier to walk in herd of sheep than to stand alone.

I'm positive that every human alive has been conditioned to act on their imposed morals which have become like a second nature. Because the majority practice their morals does not make them anymore human than the populous of sociopaths.

So is psychopathy really as toxic and unnatural as most make it out to be?

Remember that not every sociopath has been diagnosed with the condition. The percentage of "effected" sociopaths is much smaller factually than actually. This small percentage (3% males & 1% Females) is sure to make the condition that much more intimidating to those in fear, because it subliminally tells you that these people are the small percentage of outcasts, the bottom feeders of society…but they’re still out there!!

I can guarantee that many of us with sociopathic tendencies have not been included in that 4 percentile…instead we’re hiding in protection behind those with the torches and pitch forks.

Most of you are not sociopaths. By just listing things that "Dexter" does or you think a sociopath might do, doesn't make you a sociopath.

Although I doubt anyone will reply to this, I have a question.

I don't obsess over 'what I am' like a lot of people might, but something a friend mentioned to me made me uncomfortable in my own skin. He said that sociopaths recognize an act they're perpetrating is wrong (in the opinion of others or in general) but do it because they don't feel it's wrong. Not wrong in their opinion, but that they don't have such an comprehension of things. They just do it because it has to happen in their minds.

I recently killed an animal because it upset me. I knew while I was doing it that it was wrong, or at least people would be mad that I did it, but I strongly felt it had to be done. When I was finished I told people it ran away and got rid of it.

In my mind, it was just a thing, so I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel good either.

I don't think I am a 'sociopath', but the words of my friend discouraged me and I wanted more insight into my situation. Any ideas?

J

If someone were truly a sociopath I sincerely doubt they would waste time posting about being a sociopath here. Sociopaths view people are nothing more than objects that are either assets, liabilities, or useless. Nothing more. They would have no reason to care about educating us about their lives. Would you talk about your life to a pile of rocks? You are a rock to a sociopath, you're either in the way, or they can use you as a tool, or you're irrelevant. The people here claiming to be sociopaths are probably not.

Just wanted to say the post by anon13340 is right on the money. That was the first post I can say I thought she was dealing with a true psycho or sociopath. If you have to, read it over and over again till you get the concept.

A real psychopath doesn't care what you think. The basic concept is they don't care. As long as you don't belittle them. If you do, watch out. It is all about them. They control, manipulate, and yes they lie to make you think its you not them that is the problem. They suck you into their game and play with your emotions. The sad thing is you don't know it till it's too late. The psychopath I knew was Ooohhh so charming.

I truly believe that I am a sociopath. Although I may be only 16, I'm not an idiot. I admit, I know there is something really wrong with me, my mind seems to work differently then the average being. I'm anti-social, and obsess over my writing and artwork, my rather dark attitude. Although I am creative, and have a rather brilliant/intelligent mind, there is something wrong. I have what they call here as the two sided person dr jekyll and mr hide. I feel out of touch with people, if I'm sitting on the bench at the state park I'll watch the people like an animal, like I'm something entirely else. "People are pathetic...just prey...idiots..." I have this animalistic posture, usually crouched low to the ground, or my shoulders slumped. I use different noises rather than speech, like a growl when I am annoyed, a whimper when I am sad.

I think constantly, my thoughts never cease and can go on forever. I like when others feel fear. It scares me because I lack guilt, I lack emotion. I consider myself not human, completely different, people are lower than myself.

When I appear fine around others, when left alone the other side of me emerges.

I tell lies and don't realise I lied so much until later. I'm asking now if there is anything that could help me from doing something incredibly stupid in my future, because at times it feels like I could do anything, commit crimes and such. After a while I gain comfort...then eventually trust. I'm like a stray dog, when people get to close too early I snap. When I get trust my actions are over-affectionate, like excessive hugging/groping and I feel the need to be very physical whether it be to wrestle or just lay beside. But if that trust is lost or if I pick up some vibes I don't like I snap, feel the need to hit and mock.

I've been reading a lot of these posts and I think people are using the word sociopath too generously to apply to people who are probably not. Every time someone's boyfriend behaves like they are heartless and don't care doesn't necessarily mean they are a sociopath. I think a true sociopath is someone who truly cannot feel any remorse and doesn't have a conscience. They can see it intellectually from the outside but don't feel it inside. Like when Ted Bundy killed those women and said he knew intellectually it was wrong but could not feel it at all on the inside. A lot of those people have a really chilling, cold quality that is pretty extreme and unmistakable. A lot of times when you are around those people you get this instinctive fear reaction from your gut. You're not able to connect to them at all on an emotional level, it's just not there with them.

I have had a lot of problems with my husband's ex wife, she would show up at my job, she would lie

about my husband paying her child support, she knew some very high officials in our city, and had the police called on my husband more than once even though he was paying child support.

She came to my work, and just stood and stared at me and everyone that was there wondered what in the world she was doing. She knows all the right people, and does all the right things.

She told the child support agency she never received any of my husband's payments for 2 years, but they had all of her checks signed, and they said she lied, we could have prosecuted but did not.

She lied to their sons' and told them and the church that my husband had an affair and he never did, he left because she is a stalker and a control freak, and lies.

My husband asked her why she lied to the child support agency and she said because she could.

Obviously, I don't want to be anywhere around her. If she ever ever comes to my home or work, I will call the police. She is also a practicing "counselor" in the community, and accepted.

Any advice how to handle someone like this?

Is it really so bad to be a Sociopath/Psychopath? You have charm and wit. You can get what you want and you can get things done. Shouldn't this be ideal?

Emotions can keep an average person down. However, for Psychopaths/Sociopaths you have no conscience or morality. You can do things to get what you want, things that normal others can't/wont do. Doesn't this just prove how determined and single minded you are? In the end, isn't it usually the Sociopath who leaves with the last laugh and the money? As gleaned from the stories which have been told.

I don't think you are a sociopath, Anon26650. I think you might be

categorized as a psychopath. The two terms are often combined under

the term Antisocial Personality Disorder, but there are many doctors

who are trying to get them recognized as different disorders.

the comment by 'anon27071" describes *exactly* what happened me. My "friend" of 3 1/2 years went into business with me, we borrowed 50K and she used it for her own needs, without my knowledge, not only that, she took 3 mobile phones in my name, ran up a *huge* bill, in my name, took all my belongings and done a runner to another country, leaving me in a whole world of debt. She fits the profile of a sociopath scarily accurately! She was as friendly as you can imagine, but it turned out to be lies.

These people ruin lives, we have learned a very very important lesson in our lives, to never trust anyone again, no matter how charming and friendly they seem... this person nearly destroyed our lives to live her own dreams and when she bled us dry, she took off and looked for another sucker to latch onto.

She emailed me (after i emailed her threatening police) and told me this whole story about how she was going to pay it all back the next week and how her and her husband had split up... it was all lies...

She and her husband left on a plane the next day, together to fly to their new lives with all my money, furniture and not a care in the world about how it affected us.

Very dangerous people and unfortunately most people don't realize who they're dealing with until its too late.

anon26650....you are not a sociopath....you are just lost...

Yes, I know it all too well. I trusted people and eventually went into business with someone I trusted. Now after a very difficult lesson have lost my business, my income, just about everything. For "fun" I checked out the behaviors of a sociopath and guess what, she has so many of the traits, but tends through drinking to hide the non social bit as she drinks in order to be social.

These people are dangerous and will stop at nothing to get what they want and who is in the way gets taken down. After removing the "dagger" from my heart, figuratively speaking, I am now moving on learning yet another big lesson in life. Don't trust no one and get everything in writing.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a sociopath you need to *run* away as fast as you can... they are experts at exploiting us "weaker" types... please please please don't learn the hard way like I did.

I was married to a female sociopath for four years... the only reason it lasted that long is because I completely supported her and she found that very useful and was careful about what she did to me directly... I witnessed her do unimaginably cruel things to everybody who was ever kind to her. Her impulsiveness and reckless behavior was bewildering. Currently she is sucking dry her mother, the last person she has left. Trust me *stay away*… you cant help them, they don’t want to be helped.

I'm not completely sure I am a sociopath, but perhaps there is some other condition that fits my symptoms.

Although I do feel emotions toward some, I feel nothing towards others, like it makes no difference if they were never a part of my life. And these are people most would consider us to be great friends. When I do feel emotions, they are often extreme bits of anger or great sadness, though neither is for very long.

I feel that my boss is a sociopath. He fits the comments everyone has left above. Lies, manipulation, stealing, and much much more.

My question is how do I bring this to the attention of the higher ups to fire him? Do I have to become one myself?

Too bad about 80% of you are wrong. Sorry if your ex was a jerk, but that's probably all he was. And if you don't feel any emotions, you're probably just dissociating. I should know, I do it sometimes and I've spent years of my life feeling nothing.

Or maybe I'm wrong. After all, I had an easy enough time getting labeled "borderline personality disorder" and "antisocial personality disorder", so maybe you (or your ex) would too. And, since I'm rather bored right now, I'll be a sweetheart and share.

I'm female and in my mid twenties, if it matters.

I don't lack emotions. Actually, at times I feel far too many emotions, too intensely, too quickly, and sometimes I feel none, but that's the borderline. I also am capable of empathy... sort of, a little bit, under the right conditions. I see someone and think, "yikes, wouldn't want to be in their shoes," and get a nasty feeling, and that's pretty much what empathy is. Nor am I incapable of friendship. I don't have more than a couple of real friends, mostly because it's almost impossible for me to form real connections with other human beings, and so most people (friends or lovers) get boring and are discarded after a few months. But I do have a couple of real friends, people I have a faint but real connection with, and I value them as part of my life. I even want them to be happy and safe, though not because I would feel bad for them if they were miserable, just because they're better that way. It's even worth my time to comfort a friend in distress, though it can be a bit of a bore.

What I lack is conscience and morality. I feel no guilt, no remorse, and no regret when I lie, steal, manipulate, or maliciously hurt another person, all of which I do fairly frequently. Actually, I will say I don't like to lie when there's a chance of getting caught, most people can be easily deceived by misleading word choice and omission ("you really think I would do something like that?" works way more often than you'd think). That way I haven't done anything I can be held accountable for.

I'm often puzzled by normal people, that is, ones who do have consciences. While I know why they do what they do, I can never really understand it, and at times I can have a hard time predicting the way moralistic people behave because of this. A part of me wants to believe that everyone else wears morality like a mask, same as I do, and would happily drop their cover and behave in a pleasantly rational manner at the slightest excuse.

Sometimes, though, it bothers me to know that everyone I know has experiences which are totally alien to me, they're pushed and pulled by drives which I will never feel. I've spent hours at a time talking with friends, trying to understand them. I've concluded, however, that unless I "grow a conscience", I'll never really know. That's fine, though, I'd much rather be occasionally vexed by my lack of understanding than burdened beneath the irrationality and self-defeating logic of morality.

Reading all this you've probably decided that I'm a pretty awful person. Thing is, though, that I'm not. I'm not a good person, frankly I'd never want to be, but I'm okay. My own view is, of course, basically distorted because I can't see my own actions as bad (sometimes foolish or reckless, but not immoral), but most people who know me think I'm a pretty decent person too. Even my closest friend, who I don't really hide my nature from, thinks I'm nice. Thing is, I am usually pretty nice, unless I'm in the mood to be mean, and even then I have a series of (loose and sometimes broken) rules that I've developed to avoid impulsive actions which are often detrimental in the long term. Like, I don't steal from friends because I don't want to get caught and so damage the friendship. And I avoid heavily manipulating or telling big lies to lovers because the more I can control a person the less I respect them. The thing is, I'm a social parasite, and like any good parasite the last thing I want is to be noticed for what I am. Naturally, I also try to be careful about anything which could get me thrown in jail. There's usually some reason for the police to come after me, but so far so good... so wish me luck! :D

Anyway, that's my bit of sharing. Hope it was enlightening... or something.

25101, they don't know if its genetic or environmental mostly. It can develop out of either. ODD is not the same, and doesn't even go hand in hand with psychopathy. Love your son, make sure he doesn't get put into a traumatic situation, such as any form of abuse, and that's all you can do. If he does grow up to be a sociopath, then as a parent you have key behavioral influence, make sure you get some sort of morale code and consequence ingrained in his mind. Sociopaths aren't always bad, so with your support, maybe he will make it out of his childhood still human. I was lucky to have such a good mother, and I blame her on me not being a lunatic, but rather just another member of society with his own handicaps and problems to deal with, and no overwhelming desire to hurt others.

25039, I've been right where you are. Hell, I am right where you are, almost once a week. The only way I can answer you is this, accept who you are. Whatever you feel, that's probably all you ever will feel, so live with that. If you don't manipulate, con, lie, etc, and you are a sociopath then you are in control more so than almost anyone else. The most important thing in a relationship, sociopath or not, is trust. You have to be able to trust your girlfriend with everything, and if anything brakes that trust, then you, as a sociopath, will not forgive or forget it, even if you say you do, and you have to be trustworthy, in turn. Lies kill relationships, especially, commitment oriented ones.

I have a question about this disorder. My son will be turning 5 years old very soon and has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. His biological father is a sociopath in every sense including violent. He has no contact with our son. I read the part that says....

"The causes of antisocial personality disorder are thought to be either genetic or environmental. Children who are influenced by antisocial parents may adopt these tendencies."

So my question is.... Is it more heredity or environmental? With my son already being diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder is that something that can turn into being a sociopath like his father without even knowing him but just from genetics?

I have recently been troubled with the idea that I am a sociopath. I am 19, living away from home at school. I am not much of a liar, though I used to lie a lot when I was younger. I think I love people, but sometimes I have my doubts. I don't know exactly what love feels like. I am an unselfish person, and while i used to steal for my own gain I have grown out of it. I don't make fun of people nor do I manipulate or con. However, for some reason I know that if I wanted to do something of the sort, I would be very, very good at it.

My behavior has really affected my relationship with my girlfriend. We get into a lot of fights, all started by me, over stupid, trivial things. I think I love her, I really think so, but I am just so unsure about the feeling itself it is tough to really know what I feel. I want to be normal person who loves and hates and feels. Any advice from anyone would be appreciated

ragonrok: sociopaths do not engage in physical violence themselves. Our true thrills are manipulation through words, it's easy...don't listen=no harm done. It is your fault that you take advice that took you backwards instead of forwards and then you come back to me for more. not you specifically, it's just a trend I see in normal people.

I will pray for u all. I have hope for you. With god you can and will overcome. Keep ur head up!!!

I feel a need to answer these questions, or comment on stories that are going unnoticed. anon23572: I can't tell you what to do on the information you've given me.

Anon 23504: The opposite of a sociopath? There is no opposite of a sociopath. You’re very empathic, is what you’re saying. Able to see and relate to almost anything presented to your mind, but, being that, you should be able to see these ‘bastards’ coming for you. Sociopaths can tell a lot about people by the smallest details, does that mean you know nothing about a person on first meeting them, can’t see even the slightest nuances in their lives? Glean nothing about fellow man? Being very empathic is a contradiction to that. That being said, you’re not the anti-sociopath. You may have victim written on your head in bright neon letters, however. Empathic people are usually people with large ‘hearts.’ The bigger a person’s heart the easier it is to use them. The human race, that most people put so much faith in, is not a good thing. The nicest people in the world will take advantage of someone, if they feel they can get away with it. My advice to you is, stop your pity party, move on. If Heaven really is as hard to get into as you hope it is, mind you, I don’t believe in Heaven. Do you really think you’ll make it in condemning so many of your fellow man into whatever other space there is?

Anon 23332: She doesn’t sound like a sociopath, she sounds like something else entirely. Sociopaths aren’t obvious about their being so, actually, anyone on this site whom says “I was married to a sociopath.” Is probably wrong, or you’re dating an inhuman being, in all of his persuasion is an idiot and lacks the proper cunning to truly pull the wool over other’s eyes.

However, she can pull the wool over eyes, the above comment was just for others reading along. So, she has friends and family ostracize you? This is one thing I’ll never understand about the human race, do you really put so much of your own being into a relationship if someone severs it you cannot find your own self worth? If someone will stop talking to you for any reason, what someone else says, etc, then they aren’t worth being around in the first place. Perhaps that’s my own sociopathy speaking, but honestly, what have they got that Vivica down the street doesn’t? Genetics? That means very little.

If you DO want your family back so bad, well then, lets take this in steps.

1: PROVE your accusations of her being full of excrement.

2: Obtain documents saying so.

3: Show them around.

4: Buy a recording device, simply use it where you see fit.

5: Show her for what she really is. Undeserving.

6: Be sure. Be safe.

Know this, God, has very little to do with the Human Race, on a whole. If you put your faith into a being, then don’t blame him for his absence, there are billions of people on the planet, what makes you special among them if they are all his children?

Anon23131: It’s possible you should look into a restraining order. Sociopaths don’t want to get caught, the same as everyone else. Every broken twig you hear, call the cops, that is what they are for, after all.

He is a controller, he controls by fear, which Machiavelli said was the best way to control. If someone is afraid of you, they will be in terror if the other wants to disobey, all you have to do is realize that you have as much power as he does. He is not a God among men, he is simply using his manhood more efficiently, and making you believe his lies. He needs to feel important, feel in charge, all you have to do is take that control away from him, individually or through law enforcement, but make sure you are safe, if he is truly a sociopath, you need to make sure the cops are involved.

Anon23075: Talk to a psychologist. DO NOT, say you don’t think you’re a sociopath. No one will believe you, since most sociopaths do not want themselves to be known as such. Speak from your head and your ‘heart.’ Describe your emotions, as only a human can. May take a few sessions, but you will dissolve the false diagnosis if you do this.

Anon23072: Sociopaths or Psychopaths aren’t violent 100% of a time. You’re misinformed, sociopaths can be sociopaths without violent behavior. However, I do agree that far to many people believe themselves to be sociopaths, and aren’t able to comprehend the magnitude of the disorder. It isn’t as simple as wikipedia would have you believe.

Carrie0138: You know the symptoms are listed at the top of this page. You want someone to CALL you a sociopath, did you know that asking someone a question that you know the answer to is a form of manipulation, getting them to commit to something that is or is not certain, especially trying to get someone to call you a sociopath because you say you can’t feel regret, that is a listed symptom a mere three turns of the mouse wheel away.

Anon22344: It’s a condition. You don’t feel feelings. You can’t. The most we can feel are impulses. We know how things work, I have a girlfriend, whom I am very fond of. I console her when she is upset, I compliment her when she is being self-conscious, sociopaths can put for effort and act like a normal citizen that no one could detect. He isn’t smart enough to fake consolation? He HAS impulses for you, not feelings. He ‘Wants’ you, like a dog wants a dog. Sex is a driving force in all life forms. It is up to him and you if you can handle being together, if you can’t handle being with someone you KNOW has no feelings, then by all means, brake it off, don’t wait, he won’t magically grow feelings, if he can’t feel then he can’t feel. Its basic science, don’t try the same experiment hoping for different results, because hope doesn’t change anything.

Anon22145: You have a very bad outlook on life. Destruction, Apocalypse, Death. Such a wide array of things you think we can all amount too. Despite being a Sociopath, I’m an optimist, I prefer to think that people can deal with their problems in a manner appropriate, and, honestly, what does it matter, anyway? You’re born as you are born, nothing did it to you, live. Be happy. Well, sociopath, you’re incapable of happy. Live Satisfied. If you’re incapable of being satisfied, well then, I’m not entirely sure that saying kill yourself is legal in someone’s direction, so, I won’t. As pathetic as suicide seems to me, self pity is even worse. Honestly, we ask ourselves why us? Why not? Its all probability, cold, uncaring odds.

Anon22119: Haha, you’re assuming we’ve all killed, tortured, and otherwise practiced wild acts on others? For the most part, anyone here that claims to be a sociopath hasn’t harmed anyone. Sociopaths are much less hostile than real humans. Sociopaths can’t feel, and it is only out of some other attempt, not hostility or for the sake of violence, that one would commit heinous acts.

I don’t fear. I don’t feel fear. Sure, self preservation. I am able to be startled, I turn and react like a human might, claws and fangs bared ready to defend against a would be predator, but if I were tied down to a table being assaulted with a knife, I wouldn’t beg for my life. Life and Death really aren’t our choices. We can’t choose where, when, how, why we were born. Death is very much its twin.

Anon21851: No, drugs. Psychotherapy helps some, is useless on others. Group therapy, same.

Anon21696

Lack of Regret and Emotion is the key element of sociopathy. Without that the rest of the symptoms are just other observations of things, that most sociopaths tend to develop. It is highly possible you’re just a crass/selfish person.

anon23572: You don't give a lot of detail about your situation. I suggest you find the strength & confidence within yourself (you know you have it), to learn how to deal with your situation by learning coping strategies or removing yourself from the pain & stress that others seem to be causing you. Trust me, I know- I had panic & anxiety attacks, was a nervous wreck, and doubted my own sanity...I chose to cut myself off from this person..it still haunts me to this day- the dangerous situation I was in-but each day gets a little better) Go to the library-(it's free) & educate yourself as much as possible w/regard to Sociopaths. Don't despair-your best defense is educating yourself for your own protection & before you make any decisions about your situation. I care. (also a female who's been there)PS-I don't trust anymore-either.

it has affected me so much i dont trust. but i would like to show im serious and if you email i will give you my number and you dont have to give me yours you can do the star six seven and i am female if that helps. i am a real person, do not post hardly at all, and am so panicky now it is affecting my health, and im tired of living like this. we need to do something to take back some control of our lives. i live in fear of my loved ones, and it is taking its toll on me. i am fairly despondent. ill tell anyone who calls

I am the opposite of a sociopath. I have since I was a child had an incredible capacity to love. I get great joy from helping others, whether I am recognized for it or not. I can look at an animal or a human suffering, and it is almost as if I become them--- I feel everything they feel and want to help them. I have been told by many people that they can tell I am a good person-- and I remember once a girl I worked with said something I found strange at the time-- she said to me "I think you are a truly, inherently good person. I don't think I am". I found that baffling at the time. She did end up stabbing me in the back at work. I ended up fired because of her. And I went on this sociopath site because of a longterm relationship with a man who absolutely without question is a sociopath. I now know that I am as hard to understand for the evil people as the evil people are for me to understand. I attract them, bait them, make them want to destoy me, without even realizing it, because of my goodness. I now know to be careful and hold some of my kindness and openess in, because there are so many of you bastards in the world-- whether sociopaths or just mean selfish, little people. What a shame. Sometimes I believe there is a heaven-- and that contrary to popular belief, maybe it is not so easy to get in........ maybe if heaven exists, it is actually a very tiny, tiny, little place. Hopefully.

I'm worried that a family acquaintance that i've known for 20 years is a sociopath. When she was younger, she would spread malicious gossip to ruin a person's reputation to the point of creating this "mob mentality" and had the ability to convince others who feared her to bully her victims emotionally, physically and sometimes sexually. i was very observant of this and tried to keep my distance but she eventually moved onto me.

I remember the day, I was at church for this funeral and saw the sociopath from afar and heard she was complaining how she couldn't understand why the family was crying over the loss of their baby even though the family had other children and was mocking the parents' painful screams and cries in the church. she saw me cry and i remember her looking at me with these cold-dead eyes and smirking at the same time. this girl will make you believe in the devil.

She has stolen so many times, has convinced people that she has several PhDs and works at all these corporations when in reality, she can't hold a job down. She tries to give out compliments but they come out too strong and awkward. She absolutely LOVES to criticize people w/special needs, i mean it's sick.

Anything that i say or do, it is twisted around in this manipulative manner to the point where my words have no weight. she has taken my sarcasm that i've reserved for my friends and used them literally and convinced people that i was crazy! She has had people follow me, beat me, sent her friends to sabotage my friendships and family relationships for YEARS now!! She has succeeded in having several of MY family members ostracize me and gets into my family business. Most of my friends left because they are scared to death of this girl and the wrath of destruction she tries to create. I can't even make new friends without her knowing about it and trying to convince them that I'm bad. omg, it's disgusting! I'm not backing down because she has a hold on certain family members of mine and is brainwashing them for her own amusement and it pains me to see this. God, where the hell are you?

Defining my ex-boyfriend as a sociopath seems dramatic but is the conclusion that I have come to.

It doesn't help that I am paranoid as I write this that he is will read it and I paranoid that he has bugged my phone. Incredible to be in this state now - I am plagued by fear of him and fear of the consequences of any of my actions - I do not want to provoke him. I even feel like I need to cloak the details to truly remain anonymous but I will tell the truth so please, if you can, listen, and maybe help.

My ex-boyfriend has recently been released from jail. He claims to not have done anything but he was, in fact, a "guest" there for almost eight months. Since then, he has called me repeatedly and has even left a voicemail at my work amongst other things that I will get to.

I practiced what I would say because I knew that confrontation with such a person would be inevitable - I thought he would come looking for me - even though I had ignored every single letter I received. I have come to reason that there is no way around dealing with him except for to confront him and then ignore him. At least that has been my reasoning. I said "I do not want to talk. I do not want to be friends. I do not want a relationship. Please respect that." I repeated it over and over. I tried to be reasonable but maybe I was naive. He called several times after that demanding the few items remaining at my house (everything had been picked up by his brother). He has since called about twenty times in the space of two weeks under the guise of needing to show me the man he could be while simultaneously accusing me of many of the same hurtful things he accused me in our relationship. He has since threatened to send "dirty" pictures to my office. Last night I received a phone call saying that he was in town and he had a gun. I called the police. I have already spoken with them twice. I am sure this sounds dull to many out there but I am truly freaked out.

Two weeks into our relationship, he read my journal from my teen years in the middle of the night and then woke me up and hurled it at me, accusing me of lying about my past. I watched him, in suicidal moments, slice so deeply into his wrist and hold a lighter under his arm until the flesh bubbled. His face did not grimace. I begged him to stop. I begged him to stop drinking. I succeeded in this so I thought that I could get him to change. I thought that he would change for me. His way of really, really, saying "I Love You" was to say "You are the only girl I never cheated on." He told me of the conquests. I hope he lied about violent prowess which I won't even mention here. He stole things. He didn't work and I supported him with out feeling resentful because I rationalized that I would want someone to do the same thing for me if I were in his position (a back injury - addiction to pain medication).

Writing this, I can't write the worst even - I'm ashamed. I can tell you this: he charmed me into a relationship (I can also take credit for accepting wounded birds), he conned me and my family out of money (my bank card, which he had the password to - he would go take money out of three machines in the space of one hour, charge stuff to my mother's account), he degraded my body in a way that made me feel like I was being molested, he lived off of me (racked up 20,000 miles on a brand new car and got it dirty as dirty can be - this is also the car that was impounded when he was arrested - he thought it was his even though this is ridiculous because we had only been together for two years and I was the one who bought it and was making the payments), I couldn't see or call my friends.

I know this sounds like a controlling relationship but can he be a sociopath? He has no sense of consequences, no remorse. He chose to be with me over seeing his daughter on a regular basis. Any thoughts? Any advice? I don't feel safe. I feel trapped. I feel like he's coming for me and it's only a matter of time. I know some of this is my own anxiety.

My apologies for the length. Please do read this and please do reply.

I was in active drug addiction for about a year (crack cocaine) and ended up trying to get some help for myself from a mental health team here in Vancouver BC Canada. For some reason the Dr that did the evaluation decided that I had Antisocial Personality Disorder or that I was a Sociopath. Now that I have this label in the system here it has caused me problems trying to receive any sort of further help from the mental health community and Dr's get a very bad impression of me right from the start. The only reason I accepted the diagnosis was because I had no idea what it meant. I have normal feelings, that range all over the place from happy to sad... I feel real empathy for people that are suffering. I know that I am not a sociopath, and I dont know what to do about this label that I have received from a Dr that did not even know me... or even spend much time evaluating me. I am scared because I am at a point in my life where I know that there is something wrong with me but I think that its more like Borderline Personality Disorder than full on Sociopath.

The fact is I have a really hard time coping with the feelings that I do have and often they overwhelm me so lack of feelings are not my problem. I dont know what to do, or where to turn at this point. I am scared that I will end up not getting the treatment that i need because of some Dr that had no idea what he was doing gave me a label over four years ago.

If anyone has any ideas, I sure would like to hear them. I will be sure to bookmark this page so I can check back for comments.

To anyone reading this article do not immediately leap to the conclusion that you are a sociopath. In any individual there is a form of psychopathy. Only those who practice violent behavior are truly psychopaths. Understand that many people match symptoms on 'Hare's checklist'. Most serial killers, ritualistic killers, and manipulative killers have IQ levels of extremely high quantity such as 160+. One in every three hundred people are psychopaths but non-violent. In their brains the the part of the brain that controls your decisions does not fully communicate with the recently evolved Front Lobes of the brain because it is up to thirteen percent smaller (the size of your thumb nail is average size). This is what gives them lack of guilt or remorse.

i am 16 years old and maybe a year ago...my feelings for a lot of things completely disappeared. I do not tell people, because most will not believe me. I cant feel feelings towards people let alone guilt or regret. Are these symptoms?

I believe I am married to a sociopath. We've been together for 5 years, married for 3. we're only 23 years old and we have a 2 year old. Our relationship was perfect until he joined the navy. About a month ago, he said he's getting out and that he thinks I cheated on him ( which wasn't true at all) and he made me look bad to his friends and co-workers. ever since, he's had nothing to do with me really and it came out of the blue. He has no regular feelings. He says he fakes them. He doesn't feel happy and sad. He just is. He doesn't believe anything after death. He has homicidal thoughts and told me about them but says he'd never act on them. He has nightmares. He had a really messed up childhood and I'm sure that didnt help. I want to leave him sometimes too but he tells me that he really does love me, he's just not in love with me and he wants me to be patient with him until he finds his feeling for me because he knows they are there. How long am I suppose to wait? I deserve to be with someone who loves me and misses me and is honest with his feelings. I'll never know if he is ever truly happy with me because he pretend to care for me for over a year and now he said he's just done pretending. I am scared of him but I told him that I'm not. I want to be there for him but I don't know how. It's too tiring being the only one who had feelings. He has no sympathy for me or anyone else which makes it hard if I need comfort. I don't know what to do. He's very very smart.

I am a sociopath, a female, middle-age on my horizon. I am not slowing down; I am picking up speed. I live in a place with several others like me, but no two of us are alike.

No, I would not choose it if I had the choice, but on the other hand, I don't believe I would survive an "awakening" even if it were possible to suddenly send the right neurochemicals surging across long-dead synapses into a maldeveloped temporal lobe...I'd probably die in violent seizures.

Mostly I don't speak out loud, I keep to myself and cogitate endlessly on the coming Apocalypse. I do wonder repeatedly why all Creation exists merely to be destroyed. There is no point to life, no meaning; everything exists to be destroyed. Death is all any of us has to look forward to.

Sometimes I can't move; I am awake but stay frozen for hours on end in one position. I hate being touched. My hair, which is blonde gone white, hangs in my face, but people tell me I have a stare that could melt through steel.

I am aging at a rate of about three years now for every year; what they sometimes term a partial progeria, onset in midlife instead of in childhood. Sometimes I call myself a "Stillborn."

All my teeth are falling out. I look like a heroin addict, but I'm not. I hardly ever eat, and I keep getting severely dehydrated because I have no thirst mechanism.

My ravaged face was once pretty, twenty chronological years ago; adjusting for the accelerating rate of my aging once I reached about 33, that twenty years took forty-five out of me.

I do sometimes have paroxysms of desperation, wanting to break free, to stop what is happening to me, to this body in which I am trapped. I am a Nihilist and I do not believe in the afterlife.

I wish I had been born ALIVE!!!! Why in the world would anyone want or aspire to be like this??? You think it's cool??? It's not -- it's cold-- ice cold.

Hell is not a fiery place; Hell is endless featureless tundra, no life to be seen in any direction.

Just curious...to any of the self-described 'sociopaths' here...do you feel anything when thinking about someone doing to you the more awful things you've done to other people? Does that elicit any emotion at all?

Here is something I wrote while living with a sociopath. He robbed me of my spirit and twenty years later I still suffer every day. Run if you can, ironically the name of a song he wrote.

The plates in the earth shift under the weight, the pull, and the bombast

Pains shift to new places, reel at another blast and hang still

without movement, in waiting

The air is darker, the water less clear, the leaf is burnt

The insides feel good, healing continues, more tranquil than before

But the outside is not.

The weather scrapes the sheen. It stings

Winter comes

Will we survive another cycle.

My question is, are there any treatments for sociopaths and psychopaths? The person I recently was involved with (for only two weeks, thank God) just seems like a totally hopeless case. What kinds of drug or group therapies are there to help them?

I'm not really sure what I am? I seem to have a lot of the symptoms described I have made a lot of effort to change but nothing seems to help. the only symptom i dont have is the remorse or the lack of regret i really think my is do to my upbringing rather than genetics but im not real sure i just turned 40 recently and the sad part is i think my condition is getting worse never in my life have i been aware of soooo much hate and cruelty in this world and i am becoming something i never thought i could become! after all the head meds and psych hospitals nothing has worked think its time to try something different a little more extreme if you will! so just a word of caution to those of you reading this the next time you feel so satisfied with yourself for hurting or getting one over on one of you fellow humans that walk this no God planet think before you act because it may be me!!!!!!!after reading my words do you really want the consequences of your actions turned back on you ten fold??????

It is not a possibility that we fear the sociopath, it's very real. Family and friends feel that way due to the behavior of the sociopath. We are all responsible for our behavior. If the last writer thinks we shouldn't be so open then they don't see if from the other point of view. The mistake we make is when we are open with the sociopath. Being open with others gets the word out and gives a place to share, from one healthy human to another. No one said they didn't love the sociopath in their life, they said they were hurt by them. There is a difference, but then a sociopath wouldn't recognize that. But the last writer was right when they stated they have problems of their own. It's obvious that they do, other wise they would be leading normal, healthy lives. My prayers go out to both.

My mother is a full on sociopath. When me and my sister were little, she brainwashed into believing that our father was the devil and that she was the queen of the world. My sister, thank god, was only 2 years old while a lot of this was happening, so she has turned out pretty normal (19 now). But, I was a bit older (4) and got the brunt of her brutality. She never hit, all she did, was mess with my head. Im now 21, and am sad to say, that i have turned out like her, I am a sociopath. Oddly enough though, i have a very neurotic side to my personality too, which is what the therapist says is my golden key out of this hell.

It took over 10 years of therapy for me to forgive my mom for abandoning my sister and I, and for being such a bitch, but than i got older, and began to realize the extent of her damage, especially to me, and for making me a sociopath, i don't know that i will ever be able to forgive her.

I do not entirely agree with how they portray people with this disorder. I would never intentionally physically hurt another person, or steal from them, but i lie all the frigging time, and i don't even mean to, it just happens, its like a second nature. I can't really cry, I really don't feel to often, and its especially hard for me to deal with others emotions.

I really want to go back to therapy, i want and know i can change and become a better me, but unfortunately for now, i am uninsured so i can't really afford it, hopefully soon though.

you all shouldnt be so open to everyone about your problems, your solutions lie within, its just people have so many buttons, its hard not to push them, but thats just me, and yes, i am a sociopath or "psychopath". but its not like sociopaths are just monsters, we obviously have our own problems to deal with, and im sorry to say to the people who have children with that, you should love them no matter what, maybe the possibility of you fearing them is making them stray away and disassociate.

It seems like my EX may have some of these traits; but not all. He didn't harm me or animals physically. He was more emotionally abusive to me. He was never a big charmer. However he is disconnected with his family. His only form of contact is phone, and email. I have known him since 2005, and he has visit his parents that lived less than two hours away 3 times. He and his father have no relationship at all. I never met any one in his family except for two cousins. One I just happened to know before he and I met. Along with the one that he lived with. When he and I met I was very broken from a previous relationship with a man that was bipolar that did actually harm me and animals physically. I can say now that I was on the rebound. I was more focused on the things my EX was not doing versus what he was doing to me. My ex was totally against being in a relationship for about a year. Then he said he realized he didn't want to be alone the rest of his life. He was draining, he lied and said he was dying. He was controlling, and was a bully. Things was done only when he wanted to do them. He would punish me when things didn't go his way. He would give me the silent treatment. He would blame me and project his feelings as mine. He would break up with me on a daily. He was very inconsistent with what he said versus his actions. When he was being hateful, he would admit that he was selfish, and hard to get along. Then he would flip like he was the victim. His cousin shared with me that he has always been a difficult person, and none of his relationships lasted. He displays no remorse for his actions most of the time. He would reject me when I would try to make amends. That is what I have the most difficult time to process is the rejection. Knowing what I compromised in order to have peace with him. Despite the fact he admitted that I was a good woman and was the first that accepted things with him. It just doesn't seem to be enough for him to stop being so spiteful.

I believe that I am currently dealing with a sociopathic ex friend/neighbor.

She was always very flattering, charming and generous - but always overdid it to the point of discomfort.

If she wanted to give you something or do something for you that you didn't want her to - she would insist and insist and insist - she just wouldn't stop, until you accepted it to get some peace.

After that - she would use that and hold it over your head - no matter what you ever do for her that could be equal to it. No - it was like she is a saint and what you do is nothing compared to what she does.

She goes from job to job, she's been arrested for theft, she used an alias before, she has outbursts at people who ignore her.

I made the mistake of accepting money that she insisted I borrow. Now, although I have almost paid it back in full - I get threatening notes, emails, knocks on my door every single day - and the letters all about what a generous friend she has been and how angry she is with me. I have told her to leave me alone and that she will get the rest of the money soon - but she won't stop. She insults me and does the melodramatic act about how disappointed she is in me and how I am this and that - and it's because I am ignoring her. I looked up the definition of 'sociopath' - and this woman covers all bases.

Am I trying to get over a sociopath? He was so handsome and charming, but he controlled my actions without knowing it. I am independent and able to take care of myself. I moved to a new country 18 months ago and met him one year ago. We spent a year living a fairy tale, although my friends would tell me he bossed me around. Suddenly he decided I was too old for him and he slept with his friend he would see once a year when she came on vacation. He first told me he didn't want to lose me,then after I moved out he said I was too old. Not much to go on, but I guess given what I know about him and the way he controlled me he is a sociopath. All my friends hated for him to be with me because of his behavior, always beyond drunk, always bossing me. I wish I could explain this away and move on. He keeps insisting on being in my life since I moved out, calling, texting saying that we lived a dream but that is over. It was a dream despite his character because he was so charming. I think I need to run away but it is hard because of the charm.

After reading this i am now certain that my ex boyfriend was a sociopath. And a very good one. Its unbelievable what i put myself through for him! Im staying far away from him forever now.

After reading up on sociopath I do believe I was married to one. I divorced him after 7 months, but let him back into my life 5 months later only to end up right back where I started 4 months later. He is a pathological liar, conning, charming, has stolen ALL my stuff, has no remorse, shame or guilt or any emotions for that matter and at face value no would would ever think he was more than a southern gentlemen!! If you are involved with a sociopath run, run, run, run...or you will end up broke (I had perfect credit and ended up bankrupt within 1 year), sad, alone, and if you had anything like furniture, tv's, etc...you may not when he/she gets done with you. Be careful and don't blame yourself because my ex-husband conned my whole family, but I'm moving on heart broken, with bad credit, broke, and nothing to furnish my home as he came back months later after being divorced and split and broke into my house and stole everything he could get his hands on and now I'm having to prove the stuff was mine...and the kicker...his mother helped him load my stuff up as my neighbors saw them. It is no fun dealing with such a person, but if you are involved with someone like this please adhere to what I am writing and RUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

here is a description/synopsis of what this

psychopath has been doing to me...and it involves

heavy brainwashing/manipulation/conditioning..

the tactics used are horrible and he is always

using 'tactics' playing a game..to generate a response and more and more responses...and claims

his victim is his 'sub' and 'whore' but refuses

to see be with or even sexually interact with

the person...his power seems to be not seeing the

person or being with them...even claims to be an

astral traveler who is with the person astrally

hence the reason he doesn't need to see them in person....but everything involved to me even seems

strange for a narcissist or sociopath...he also

gets off on the 'degradation' and is sadistically

turned on by it...and if u ever attempt to try to

visit the N sociopath-- he will not let u in,

lock u out or yell at you which you haven't tried

or tried once...and is bisexual or out with other

men half the time... and the abuse this psycho has done to me is just really odd and just confused as to how a person can get out of something like this especially when the absence of the psychopath has made the person like a drug or addiction and you keep wanting more and getting

nothing along with just more abuse/control which

seems to just cement all the trauma and psychological hell and make the situation harder to not only get out of, but want more and also...

deep root the psychological terror it entails...prior to meeting him he did not have

A job and freelanced….after meeting him and ‘hoping’ u could be together..

He gets a job and literally…says “I choose my job over you” or “leave me and my job alone” and has even said “some people are married to their jobs”…in some creepy Sick odd form has turned his ‘job’ in some form of a spouse or gf…or even his cat..and turned his job into a vessel or another thing to use you to torment with...and reject you for his 'job' in essence making you hate 'work and jobs'

And literally did ‘choose his job over you’ and will be at work all the time no matter what and will keep rejecting you-- no mater what…while you are saying…can I see you or be with you…ie made you attached so he could torment you and keeps it going by never Seeing or being with you-- and creating this horrendous weird maze…that u almost

Can’t seem to get out of…because it is a string of hopes and expectations not only

‘marriage’ or other things but literally just spending any time with a person…

That u never got….in a year has only seen victim a total of four weeks hour wise… And will literally ration out his time to see person…and will ‘rush’ the time they Spend together…calls this a ‘relationship’ and the person he’s with ‘abnormal and weird’….will even say things how “how about I treat you like a REAL piece of meat and come over and do this to you sexually and just leave”…literally treats person

Like a whore or lower than a whore/slave…ie a whore gets paid and not stressed out…Calls victim his ‘whore’ and ‘slave’ and sub….

This person treats victim lower than a slave an in order to see the sociopath victim

Will have to jump thru hoops begging writing long paragraphs expressing vows of love,

Being forced to ‘entice’ person to see her…he will say “based on how long u write

They are not together…and he is not obligated to see or be with her….he will say

You have until 9:00 pm then you have to leave…u get there around 6:30...and you only have 2.5 hours to spend with person…while he is rushing… will reject you on holidays...and make you hate holidays as well....and do everyting just to reject degrade abuse insult you psychologically...never spend time or be with you....and try to control you long distance and make sure u are 'alone' and have no one not even him...it is hard to get out of esp if u are alone and vulnerable...

Anon20105, I think what you describe is pure NPD, Narcissist Personality Disorder. They love law enforcement. Good luck to you, try find a support group for (ex) NPD spouses.

This is very hard for me to write but I am doing this in hopes that it will help someone. I was married for almost twenty years and recently divorced and I have no doubt that he is a sociopath. He was very charming and had a way of always turning every argument around and truly making me believe I was the cause of everything. He always said I was lying and was very good at twisting my words around and making it seem like I was. He actually made me feel guilty as if I had really lied when I knew I had not. He told me convincingly that he had never ever lied to me when in fact I knew he had. I could not have friends because they would turn me against him and even if it was someone he had no reason to not approve then he would just simply point out a flaw and use reasons like she was too fat and that showed that she was a weak person. He "got rid" of a litter of kittens we could not care for and when asked how he got rid of them he only smiled. He has beat me down emotionally and mentally for years. I had zero self esteem when I left. He had over twenty jobs in the time we were married, he tried college and dropped out. Every single time it was someone else's fault. He would go into his manic mode and just start running through the house ripping things out of the closet and doors and I would ask what he was looking for he would not speak then all of a sudden he would be done and look at me as if nothing had happened. Just maybe say he was looking for something like what he had done was normal. He sent me text messages that would be nothing but a picture of his eye as if to say he was watching me. When we were going through our divorce which he dragged out for two years, he was suicidal, would send me up and beyond sixty text messages in one night. He called my boss (which he did not know) asking her to help him get me back. He repeatedly talks about me and people in our small town listen to him because he is so charming. It is so frustrating. Also he bought a motorcycle while going through all this and out of the blue joined the military and volunteered for Iraq and he went for a year and came back messed up as ever. In the meantime I have moved to a different town trying to stay away because he still harasses me and he is currently going to the police academy(just because he did a tour in Iraq gets him in) and I found out he has applied for a police job in the town I moved to. I am scared of him and dont really know how to handle this. I am out of hope and almost ready to give up fighting for my rights. Him walking around with a gun and the power of being a cop is not an ideal situation

What has helped me a lot is the Alanon program. It's not just for family and friends of alcoholics. It's a way of life. They help you learn to distance yourself emotionally from your qualifier, as they are known. I don't argue anymore with my son who I believe is a sociopath. No more lectures. He doesn't live with me any more but when he did I bought a small safe, I put a lock on my bedroom door, I got a P.O. box and never left anything of value, including my purse, around. I can't stop him from doing what he does but I can do my best to protect myself from him. I still live like that today because I never know when he's going to stop by. It was a slow process and a lot of work. I felt so bad for having to do all of those things, but it had to be done. If you can't get to an Alanon meeting, look online. You might fine it helpful.

I think my daughter is a sociopath. Since she was a teenager she's been lying about things the smallest things, stealing from me. Once she took my bank card, took money out and when I confronted her she said it wasn't her. I told her I am going on line right now to check the account she stood right there and denied it until I showed her on the computer that someone took the money out at the local gas station. Only then did she admit it, looking me straight in the eye denying it. She is now 25 years old and a single parent living with me. She has been fired from most jobs some for stealing. Right now she looks for jobs only when she feels like it and then cries when I ask her why havent you found a job? I don't know what else to do. Please help. I cannot kick her out because I would worry about my sweet little grand-daughter.

I have a son who I believe has an antisocial personality. He is 19 and recently diagnoised with bipolar. It is very scary to deal with him. He has stated to me that he thinks I'm afraid of him. It's almost as if he's telling me to be afraid of him! I've been having less and less contact with him lately. When he's been in a structured environment he does well but when he's not you can clearly see somethings wrong with him. Is there anyone out there that has children with this disorder? He doesn't want legitimate help. He just wants things his way.

Wow, I just realized I'm going through the same thing. I have been with the same guy for only 3 years, on & off. We have a son together who's 16 months old. He is 39 years old - looks much younger and acts it too. I feel like I'm parenting 2 kids. Right now we are on off mode. He's been gone for almost a week now. I call him the master manipulator. He goes out, drinks til all hours of the night, doesn't call, and then I find out he's slept at this fat woman's house. This woman picks him up at 4am or whenever he wants her too & rather than coming home - he goes there. His reason for going there is so that he doesn't have to put up with my nagging. She also will drive money to him in the middle of the night when he runs out of it. Then the next day he has the nerve to say he wants to come home! This time I put my foot down - I told him that I've tried to help him but that I just don't love him anymore. I can't love someone I can't trust & depend on. I haven't heard from him since.

He's lost 4 jobs since I've known him. His drinking is more important than anything and he pre-meditates his drinking ventures. He lies & has pawned things for booze money. He's very charming & witty (like the description of a sociopath is)

He tells me I'm the one with the problem because everyone else thinks he's a great guy. I never understood how his own flesh and blood doesn't matter to him. How can he not care???? It breaks my heart & I don't want my son to grow up with insecurities wondering if 'daddy will be home tonight'

I've suggested couples counseling and he usually says yes to it but that's the end of the discussion. I am positive he's an alcoholic too because it's his drinking that makes him lie even more.

Is there any kind of treatment for this? If so where can I look it up? Does it EVER get better? I really wish we could just be a happy family. Maybe I should just take the advice of most of you and RUN.

What most people do not realize about sociopaths is just how bad it is living with one. My mother was married to a sociopath for ten years, i spent my childhood growing up to the sounds of him beating her and it eventually led to the molestation of myself.

I can't even begin to describe the pure torment and hell that i grew up around. Sociopaths have no remorse, and no conscious.

That man enjoyed beating my mom until she bled, ripping her clothes off, he wouldn't even let her go to the bathroom by herself. He would look her in the eyes and smile while she was covered in blood. He is devil, pure evil.

People look at my mother like she's stupid for staying with him for so long, but that's what a sociopath does, they find ways to keep you trapped in. Somehow, someway they will weasel their way back into your life and never get out.

We literally ran for our lives away from him a couple of years ago and since then my mom hit rock bottom. She's now going through counseling to try and get better but she suffers from PTSD and depression. She feels hopeless and like she can't go on living.

I feel so bad for her because of what she went through, it may seem like it's not that bad but you guys really don't know the half of it.

For those who are reading this that are in love with a sociopath, get out, now!

You will be broken down, beaten and just hopeless before he/she is through with you. Your just a tool for their bigger agenda. They don't care about you at all, i'm serious.

I don't want to see anyone else suffer from something that another person has done to them. That man ruined my mother's life and she has never been the same since. I swear that if i were ever to see him again i would kill him. That's how badly he hurt us.

Sociopaths are trouble, plain and simple. They'll use you until your all dried up and left for dead. I realize that my he might have been more extreme than other sociopaths but the fact is they don't care about anyone but themselves and they'll destroy everyone and everything around them.

I have heard the term "sociopath" before, but never really gave it any thought until this weekend. A guy I have been seeing brought it up to me and he said "I think you may be a sociopath." I was a little offended, but after he explained to me what it meant, my life started to make sense!! He is a admitted sociopath too, so we kinda click on that level.

However, I don't agree with everything doctors or psychologist say a sociopath does or can do. I don't use people for their possessions or take their money, but with my own money and possessions, I do not share. I refer to it as "mine" even if it partly belongs to someone else. I'm very prideful in my belongings. I am witty & and down right charming and that scares me sometimes. I am very anti-social, but I will give a complete stranger a gaze and next thing I know, they are over in my corner talking to me and giving me the lowdown on their life story. I guess my charm goes further than basic conversation, maybe a sweat it, I don't know! One thing is for sure, I do not use or abuse people, so that part of a so-called "sociopath" doesn't apply to me.

i believe i am too myself a sociopath. i am only 18 years old but yet i have encountered many of these symptoms through my life since the age of 14. i do care for others such as family but not to the extent i probably should be. the thought of being a sociopath scares me but on the other hand maybe i am just using that label as am excuse for my manipulative and charming ways. i do lie on a regular basis because it comes to me like second nature. I am trying to change i have been completely honest with my girlfriend i am with now so hopefully there's some kind of breakthrough. regardless i hope it doesnt get out of control. good luck to those suffering from this disorder.

Shame I wont have the same anoy #. Im the one that wrote his father is a sociopath. My father wouldnt come on to this website and say hes proud of being a sociopath. No that would give you arms against him. And that arms of knowledge could lead to taking a possession. And in his mind everyone is trying to take his possessions. 24/7. Hes usually depressed. Unless hes angry. Then he might tell you hes a sociopath (for starters). Fear is something that helps his anger.. feeds him in those moments.. idk its weird. Its like he knows hes met his goal cus your afraid to take something from him. Cross him. Talk about him. Use the phone bathroom or think badly about him. Anyhow anoy 605 you may be a sociopath but then you're lying about not breaking the law. The rest of you seem like posers 2 me. He would be upset that the "condition" is being talked about. But not enough that he would post about it. Really he wouldnt care what you think. Just upset theres a manual being ran around about him. I.E. ammo to take a possession.

My dad is a sociopath, and I could fill this discussion with commentary of my life and events. The sociopath only cares about their selfs and the possessions they account for. Defense from one is a dangerous move. Likely you must threaten them from a DISTANCE to take something of value. Something there powerless to stop you from taking. Drawing a weapon in defense is powerless if you wont use it.(They will charge you and hurt you for joking). But if you do. Its the best ... bargaining chip there is to be left alone.) They may break the law. But by breaking the law they will only do so if getting caught wont cause them to loose there possessions. (Or at least they think that).

I agree. If you come into contact with a sociopath...run...do it as fast as you can. If you don't, they always find a way to get back in your life. I've been in an off and on relationship with one for 5 years. He manipulates, lies, cheats, steals to get what he wants. He can't keep a job. He's violent. He has no remorse. Everything is always someone else's fault. Even when he gets mad, he'll find a way to blame you for making him mad. Then, after time passes, he forgets what happened, he forgets the events, he forgets his part in the whole thing. It's his world and everyone else lives in it. If he's not happy, nobody else is happy. At times he's the sweetest person. He's at all times sweet to the people that surround him. Charming and handsome. Yet, the people that know him personally know there's something wrong with him. They make you feel like you're worth nothing. They make you feel like you're a piece of trash.

I wish I would have left sooner. They always find a way to trap you in their web. They lure the weak back. They spend their lives learning to manipulate and do a great job.

Run is all I can say. Run before you get attached. The second you see it, get out before it's too late.

I've just come to realize my ex partner had this condition but not until we split. Now it all makes sense. She was always manipulative but clever in the way she did it. If there was something she wanted done in a particular way then she would not just say so but convince others to want the same thing. Her emotional responses were fake and she could switch them on and off at will. Everything we shared - house, car, child - were always referred to as 'mine' no matter how many times I corrected her and said 'ours'. Our relationship ended after the second affair. Even after I found out she never gave me an honest answer to anything I asked; she was a compulsive liar. She is now seeing someone else and I can see them being taken in by the same act but am powerless to do anything about it.

Any body out there who has a family member who is a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist??? I am new to this internet support group opportunity and would like to speak with anyone who has lived with this personality disorder and learned to cope.

I'm in love with a sociopath. He manipulates my feelings, makes me feel inferior sometimes, and sometimes just completely cuts himself away from me for days on end. The torture is killing me because no matter how much he puts me through, I come back because of his charm and wit. It's ignorant, I know, but it's hard to leave someone like him. Despite his mental issues I love him and in the end I feel like the insane one. I want to leave sometimes...but I can't. He'll constantly tell me how much he loves me, or call me all the time. He says wonderful things to keep me around, but then the other side of him comes out and I feel like running far far away from him, cutting away completely. I try to talk to him about it but he gets hurt if I bring it up...I don't know what to do...I feel trapped and scared...and extremely confused.

someone tried to warn me, and i've been doing research. i can't stop though, i'm falling for him anyways. sociopath or not, i'm the one refusing to believe it. i only hear what i want to hear, see what i want to see. i feel like it's my fault i feel this way, and that's what's so screwed up about all this. i'm caught in his snare and i don't want to get out.

i think my ex boyfriend was a sociopath. we were together on and off for about 3 yrs. i think i really loved him and i suppose i thought that in his own way he loved me too. i knew that sometimes he was lying, about other women and trivial things. He always used to talk himself up, came off as though he had a super ego. but i never thought he would be dangerous. i only found out when it was too late that he had been putting the drug GHB in my drinks. i overdosed. he was with me at the time. i was completely aware of what was going on around me, which was a nightmare in itself. he was practically bragging about it before it happened, telling me about how he'd heard stories of girls being drugged, raped and thrown on the beach. i'm sure he was getting away with it for quite a while. so when he gave me too much, and all the pieces fit into place and i realized what was going on, as i was in a state of hysteria, going in and out of what i thought was insanity, wondering if i was going to die, i asked him why he did it. he denied it. i told him i was scared. he looked terrified. i dont think he meant for that to happen. he told me, in his frenzied state that he only had himself to fall back on in the end, so he wouldnt admit to anything. maybe it was paranoia from the drugs but i was afraid he was thinking about killing me. to keep me quiet. kept telling me to lie down with him and go to sleep. he wasnt in control as he usually appeared to be. he ended up leaving me to go through it alone. as he walked out, with me tripping off my head and in a state of disbelief, he said goodbye...in a way which made me feel so sick, and left. im pretty sure he's a sociopath.

I take issue with the statements made above. Is it a crime to be unable to feel what you do? I can fake it. It's just as good. Everyone lies anyway, why bother with the illusions of morality, or emotion? Give me cold hard logic every single time.

OK so many tales and confessions here. Obviously if I am posting I am either one sociopath myself or I have encountered one or two. I just wanted to say that I'm sure this site as well as other internet sites like this one are supposed to be used as tools to spread knowledge right? Any idiot should know not to trust all the "facts" listed on a sociopath online. And any idiot should know not to classify EVERY person that has maybe one or two of the so called symptoms as a sociopath. I think and hope this site was geared to serve as a warning of the capabilities of a person that has sociopathic habits and tendencies. I know full well there are people that may feel like a sociopath from time to time and then there are the ones who make a lifestyle of it. Whether by choice or not I don't know, does it matter? Just beware and be careful if you think you have become too close to such an individual. They could be a minor annoyance to you or they could be very harmful!!!!!!!! It's your life, better safe than sorry.

i've been the victim of this one sociopath for the past 15 years. she has tried and succeeded to alienate family members, friends and acquaintances away from me. i get angry because i try to convince people of her maliciousness but apparently, I'M the bad guy. it hurts when people ostracize you all because this one sociopathic girl has this "obsession" with me. she fits all the symptoms and characteristics of a sociopath. this has been going on for so long, that i decided to give up and let her win the war (even though i had no interest whatsoever in having battles with her). my reputation is tarnished, i've been physically attacked, who knows for how long can i stand such abuse? mind you, i'm 30 :O whatever, crazy girl is just jealous :P

My ex is a sociopath, was only 17 at the time - age really isnt a factor - He needed the intensity of a new relationship every couple of months - so sticks to dating 13-16 year old guys and girls who fall in love easily. When he broke my heart he continued to twist the knife for the next 2 years via hate mail and prank phone calls and spreading rumors....

Cant stress enough the fact that if you come into contact with anyone you suspect to be a sociopath - just cut all contact and run as fast as you can... Dont try and save others, just get yourself out.

amusing how the ones claiming to be sociopaths believe they are invulnerable to manipulation. while lacking emotions some of you at least have cravings, which makes you almost as easy to manipulate, believe me (you should know, actually, that playing with emotions is not the only way). as for the others with underdeveloped emotional capacities, don't go announcing your own sociopathy just because you didn't cry at your grandma's funeral or when your dog got ran over by something heavy on wheels. this doesn't make you a sociopath. and if anyone among all of you like seeing people suffer, well you are probably messed up in some way. if you are vengeful or envious you may be prone to making others suffer for your own amusement, but you would usually need emotions to get there in the first place.

i have dealt first-hand with sociopaths

they are very dangerous

my experience including back-stabbing, slander, and violence

the violence was vandalism to my car with a sledge hammer

this happened at a major lawfirm

when i took a policeman out to look at my car - has asked me who i thought did it. now this policeman worked part-time for the firm. i gave him the name of a fellow partner at the firm, and his response was "i can see that, i have heard things about her"

incredible

not exactly "the firm" - but, pretty damn close

if you suspect someone is a sociopath, minimize all contact with them. if you must interact, have a witness present or use a tape recorder - i am not kidding

these are dangerous people

This is a very interesting site. Finally I understand what my ex-husband is. I have suffered immensely due to his behavior, and have never been able to explain it to anyone properly. He would always blame me, change his mind, lie constantly, have no remorse, always wanted things his way yet argued to say the opposite, there was never any compromise and if I didn't do as he wanted I was punished, he would refuse to do anything at all for me. I am happy I am finally free from him, yet feel sorry and worry for our children - what will happen to them when they get older, when he manipulates them and drives them crazy as he did me? I will always live in fear of him when he has them.

This is to everyone here who has a sociopath in their life. Get out, run, don't walk. You can't change them, they don't have your best interests at heart. They will continue to hurt, humiliate and manipulate you. Get them out of your life, totally, completely and for good. And then see how your quality of life improves. You've been warned!

Just out of curiosity, how would someone go about diagnosing themselves to be sociopathic? Is it possible to self diagnose? I fit many of the criteria for sociopathy, and even for some other personality disorders, but does that necessarily mean that I am, in-fact, a sociopath? Is there even any fool-proof way to diagnose it?

I finally realize why i feel and act the way i do

no one will ever know the pain of what a true sociopath can do until it's too late... you try to help, until they find their next victim.

is there a register where these people have their name listed to warn potential victims? if not there should be. i live in australia. i never knew there were people like this in the world until it was too late. after reading other peoples' stories i feel better it wasn't me. i was blinded by love, his charm, and lies. i was a free ride. he has no remorse which i couldn't understand till now but i wont fall 4 another one. so thank you.

Would you say that I am a sociopath?

Examples: When I was a kid, my little brother wrecked his bike resulting in a very gross and bloody foot. I sent him home and continued to the swimming pool. I remember the look of fear in his eyes and thought I should feel bad.

My wife's dog got run over. I came home to her crying over this bloody furball wrapped in a towel. I really didn't care. I tried to be comforting though.

I don't feel loss over the deaths of loved ones, pets, or much else. I have hurt people and animals before but not because I enjoyed it. It seemed like it should be done at the time.

I have 4 kids and am trying to encourage them to be expressive with their feelings and such but that's like having an atheist teach a bible class. I'm doing my best to assure them a relatively normal life.

I'm actually just fine with who I am. I'm confident, employed as a writer, have wife #2 until that is destroyed which it will be eventually. I don't take any medications unless they are for recreation.

My two biggest emotions are anger and boredom. If I'm extremely bored it used to mean I'd cause trouble but luckily I just play video games and keep to myself.

My friend first brought up that he thought I was a sociopath at age 18 because he was one. The difference is that he is very manipulative. He knew I knew what he was doing and seemed to like showing it off to me. I didn't care enough to bother with manipulating people but it was impressive how he did it. This gave me a general disdain for the public because most people are so stupid.

I have to agree with anon605. I have no doubt in my mind that I am and have always been a sociopath. Like they said, I don't go out of my way to harm others but I really don't care that much about the stupid little issues that plague the city I live in, couldn't care less about Mrs. X who's house burns down, etc..

Actually, I usually will help people if they need it and it isn't an inconvenience to me. I also don't lie that much. Instead, I'm overly blunt. If people can't take the truth, screw them.

I can empathize with people whenever I want but usually they just have their own problems because they are weak-minded and co-dependent.

I have a 19 yr old brother who I believe is a sociopath. He lies like nothing is wrong with it. He will never admit to his mistakes but instead blame others for it. He certainly knows how to be a good actor and fool anyone. He'll get angry and lash out at anyone including his parents... because he has no respect for anyone anymore. He's ran away and after tracking him down and bringing him back he wants to go back. He has no money because he spent it all when he ran away. He will argue over the smallest most ridiculous thing and he thinks he is charming and can use his looks to get away with anything. we are trying to make him seek professional help but he is very stubborn and he will instead say if anyone needs help, it is us (his family). How can we make him see a doctor or psychologist without him realizing it? Life with him is so tough now because it feels like he is a burden on our shoulders. We don't like his behavior and it is tearing the whole family apart but when we tell him this, he blames it all on us. please help

I was involved with a woman who at times seemed to have different sides to her personality. One time she would seem very solid and down to earth, the next, she would be very mysterious and seem to enjoy a secret life, and other times, she would be very exhilarated by destroying a relationship or deceiving or cheating someone or a relationship. I wonder what type of disorder I would consider researching to learn more. Thanks I didn't know where to start.

I met my boyfriend, now ex about 7 months ago, and came to the realization that he is in fact a sociopath when we began living together for about three months. He put on a game face and then things started changing. I caught him in several lies and he blamed it on me and "that I didn't listen." He told me that he had been with 7 women. Then it changed to 14, then the last time the subject was brought up the magic number was 19. Every time I corrected him about something I was always to blame for everything, and that I wasn't listen or that I didn't listen and he was tired of repeating himself. I felt sorry for him when he lost his job. I fed him, his friends, and basically took care of him. I also found out that his fourth job did not fall through, but he was fired from the main boss. Not "his" boss that he was singing songs about and who praised him so highly and thought of him as a God. But the head honcho of their little f-off painting crew. I encouraged him to get a job and he told me to quit my complaining and nagging. I didn't really consider it complaining, because I would just suggest things. i never raised my voice, but he always did. Everyone saw us at our worst because he made me so angry I would just explode and then he would punch walls, slam doors and leave and not come back for hours. He smoked pot like a fiend but I suspect he did other drugs too. He used to be a meth-head but would talk about taking other drugs and ridiculous stories about how he used to do drug runs to Mexico and ppl would hold guns to his head. He told me a crazy story about how he got these scars that ran up and down his arms by 30 armed men who held him down for high tech secret information that only he knew about the government because he was a big time hacker at 13. Yet, another time he told me his scars would heal rather quickly because he had been shot twice, and I asked to see the scars and that was the remark to cover that lie. The final straw was when he was very abusive to the cats we had. The older cat mysteriously disappeared for two days yet never went outside. He was just too old to make it out onto the roof of the apartment building that we had. He turned up at the animal shelter with a broken back and could no longer use his legs. I cried, and he tried to pet him and the cat lashed out in anger like trying to defend himself. I should have known at the time that he was indeed trying to protect himself from my ex. More than likely because he hurt him. His only reply to his lashing out was "He's still an a-hole" recently my friend's cat was staying with us and my ex was playing one of his games, and the cat was bugging for affection. He picked him up by the scruff of the neck and threw him across the room, breaking his leg. I saved my own cat, and was hit in the process, but I don't care about that. I saved his life. He went for mine like he would have indeed broken his neck. My ex was upset because he knew it was over. I was leaving and his free ride was done with. He hit me, and my head hit the back of the wall. How do you spot a sociopath? Get to know someone very well. Make sure their stories line up every time. Men have 37 pantomimes women have 18. Don't be in a rush either.

I obviously was and if you play with fire you are going to get burned. Wait for the universe to line up and always focus on you. Never go looking for love, let it come find you.

This is pretty interesting, and informative. We(1) have people who have been hurt, most suppose that they have been hurt by someone with a pathological personality. We have others who (2) claim to BE sociopaths, and all are proud of it and claim that they've never really hurt anyone. Then we have those who are (3) "afraid" that they themselves are sociopaths.

Sociopath?

(1) Maybe, Maybe not most cases. (2) Quit pulling my leg. (3) You are not a sociopath. Interesting stories still. My experience with sociopaths, as ex-friends, co-workers, etc. varies along a sliding scale that rarely leaves the realm of the ridiculous. Most are entertaining at first, always the life of the party right? You get the feeling after a while that they are somewhat dangerous, prone to take offence and "get even" with you, for something as odd as treating them like a "normal" person. You eventually avoid them, or they "attack" you when you are no longer needed. It is acaually quite pathetic the way most end up, except for those who are very attractive, or talented, most I have known eventually wear out their welcome with everyone, and lose the youthful energy needed for such a high-maintenance con-man lifestyle. Just my thoughts.

Amanda17, I do not feel that you are a sociopath. I think that the numbness you describe is your mind's way of dealing with the painful depressive emotions you suffer. Your over sensitive nature has caused you pain and the numbness you now feel is your subconcious means of ridding yourself of the source of pain by nullifying it.

I am no Dr. but I suggest strongly that you seek help for your depression, good luck kid and keep your chin up :o)

My name is John Temple and I am superior. You call it antisocial personality disorder, or sociopathy. It's foolish. I am the next stage in evolution. To feel no guilt to be able to control those around you. To be the elite, and be able to manipulate those around me.

I was married to a sociopath for 11 years and have a son with him. It took me years to realize what was going on. He was very convincing, controlling and manipulative with me, his family and a long line of other women.

The best advice I can give to someone living in a similar situation is to get out fast. People with this disorder are incapable of remorse, do not see a problem, so therefore see no need for help. You will just continue to live in a never ending circle of pain and betrayal.

I have a younger cousin that is a sociopath. She lived with my parents for about a year. She was 13/14 years old. They felt sorry for her and wanted to help. Over the year, they gradually became aware of how manipulative and deceiving she was. She took thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and collectibles from my parents and sold it at pawn shops. She stole money from their wallets. When she visited her father, she would steal his pain medication and sell them as well. When she wanted something, she would get it without asking and have it charged to my parents. They tried to discipline her, but she was out of control. They set up counseling for her, but it didn't help either. When confronted, she would deny everything even if caught in the act. One of us would catch her red-handed. There would be no doubt! She would still deny it. It was unbelievable! She always placed the blame on someone or something else. She never took responsibility and never felt remorse for what she did. She then started to tell my parents that the house she was living in (my parents home) was her house and they had to do what she said. My parents witnessed her lack of sympathy for others. She even abused her own disabled mother. Yet, she was so good at getting other people to believe her and to feel sorry for her. She could turn on the tears at the drop of a hat. After failing to discipline her, my parents resorted to the law. They hoped that local government could help her since they couldn't. The police officers, of course, felt sorry for her and took her side over the side of 7 adults who had witnessed all she had done. Again, we were all astounded! Obviously, she was an excellent actress and could make anyone believer her. She even managed to get a slap on the wrist after pulling a knife on two young girls in the park. My parents were afraid of what she was capable of; so, they would lock their bedroom at night. They feared that she would murder them while they were sleeping. She had and still has absolutely no conscience and considers no one but herself. Finally, after about a year of struggling with her and fearing the uncertainty of what she would do next, my parents cut her out of their lives. It was a HUGE relief for all of us. My parents certainly don't need to fear closing their eyes at night and they shouldn't have to be under the roof of a manipulative, deceiving, and selfish thief who lacks a conscience.

I do hope that my cousin can get some sort of help. Perhaps, she will gain a conscience later in life. I truly don't understand how you can go through life and consider no one but yourself. And, I don't understand how you can feel no guilt for hurting someone or doing something immoral. I hope that I never see my cousin on America's Most Wanted; but, I would not be surprised if I did.

i am a 15 year old sociopathic female and i do not see why it is considered a disorder. i think that everyone should be this way. i do not understand why someone would want to feel bad for something they do, what is the point? being able to manipulate people is the most useful thing on earth if you want to get ahead i mean come on now people how stupid do you have to be to think it is a disorder?

amanda17, i am not a doctor, but reading your post makes me think that your current emotional (or lack of emotion) state is probably due to your extreme depression. have you been treated by a doctor? if your parents have not taken your illness seriously, then you should talk to your school counselor to try to get some psychiatric help. good luck!

I am 17 years old, and I haven't felt any emotions in over a year. Could I be a sociopath? I used to be a highly emotional, sensitive person. I loved my family members and friends with all my heart. I never had any trouble feeling empathy for others. When I was 6 or 7, I actually saved a ladybug that was in our swimming pool, "rescuing" it from drowning. last summer, my aunt's cat died while in my care, and I cried the whole day, terrified that if might have somehow been my fault. But I can't feel any emotion anymore. I don't love my family or friends, and I don't feel connected to anyone anymore. I can't seem to enjoy anything. I am bored all the time. However, sometimes I get caught up in narcissism, and I find myself thinking about how superior I am to others, mostly in intelligence, and tell myself that I am destined for great things. I guess you could call my feeling (or lack thereof) "numb", or empty. Is it possible that even though I was not born one, I could have become a sociopath? To tell you a little bit more about how I got this way: I always used to be a painfully shy person, and instead of forcing myself to reach out and make friends, I let my loneliness grow and eat at my soul until the end of my 10th grade school year, when I developed severe depression and thought about committing suicide. My world seemed to shut down. Ever since then, I have not been able to feel anything. I try to pass my hours on the internet, but it's hard to know what to do because I feel so hollow and nothing makes me feel pleasure anymore. I avoid the movies and books I used to love because I know I can't enjoy them anymore. I ignore my friend's calls and don't feel guilty about it. In fact, I don't think I would really care if I never heard from them again, even though they are my supposed "best friends". That thought scares me. Also, I never lie, and would never hurt anyone. I just feels so empty, and was hoping someone could tell me what's wrong with me. Can extreme numbness be caused by depression, or have I truly turned into a sociopath?

i am 22, in the military, and married to another military member who is believed to be a sociopath. we are contemplating divorce. everyone says he is a horrible person and i basically need to run. i am an overly compassionate person and naive...apparently what they dwell on. i completely love the guy and would do anything to help him, regardless of what all he has done to me. i have contemplated whether what i love is him or the idea of him i have emplaced in my mind. i read there are different ranges of sociopaths. i know he is capable of emotion, i just cannot decipher if it is sincere. he can be an amazing man, but then it's one extreme or the other. he wants a child, but i was sure it was just to lock me down. he does things and it's like he frankly just forgets to think before he does them. i honestly think he loves me, he doesn't know how to accept anyone's love. which is a sign of a sociopath. i think a general misconception is that a sociopath fits every and all the characteristics, when in fact there is a wide range of what a sociopath actually is. they don't have to have every check in the box to be one. i believe i will go ahead w/ the divorce and just take it from there. we have discussed it and said we would both get counseling...i am already, if he really will, is the question. who knows...this is a time i wish i had all the answers and all the cures.

to chris who says he is a sociopath: i wish they knew a way to help you. i have been looking up ways to help sociopaths. i think if you truly want to help yourself, more power to you. -k.

I have been in an awful rollercoaster relationship ride with a true sociopath for over 10 years now. When we met I worked as an escort and lied about my job. Even though he knew what I was doing he constantly drilled me to the point of exhaustion until I would tell him the truth. He set me up in a hotel room, video taped me and used this to blackmail to stay with him, in hopes I would receive this tape as who knows where on the internet it could of ended up. From this point it was sheer hell! Every time I would talk with a man I was screwing him, he made me feel so bad about myself I could have no social life what so ever and further more every time we went out, which was not often I was always flirting with other men. It was never anyone else's fault but mine. I even wanted to go to counseling and he did not take it seriously. I was accused constantly of doing things I wasn't doing and he would go at me for hours. When I would break down and be sobbing he would smile and totally ignore me. He would also put me down to anyone and everyone who was willing to listen. At the time I was completely oblivious to what was going on as I am a very genuine person and somewhat naive. When my son was 2 I found out I was pregnant with my twin daughters and when I was five months pregnant a physical altercation took place and the police came. Keep in mind they came many times before this. He was removed from the home but for some stupid reason I still had feelings for him. I made plans at this time to move to a different city and when I was packing my stuff up I found a body bag tucked away in a kitchen cupboard. When he was confronted with things he would always lie, lie and lie. One time I remember he put me through the psychological ringer and I picked up a half cup of cold coffee and threw it at him. I was at this point an emotional mess. Out of nowhere he head butted me right in the face busting up my nose and blood was everywhere. When I finally got away from him and moved he would come back and forth to see the new twin girls. The abuse minimized for a short time then when it picked up boy did it pick up steam. He was worse than ever. I was always sleeping around, and lying when I wasn't. He came across like he was better than me through the whole thing and one time made a comment when I was becoming a Christian that he was GOD. He now works as a paralegal and believes he is the best thing going in the court room when he truly is not. He received no education for his practise but calls himself a lawyer. He can never keep a friend for too long unless it is someone he has managed to manipulate and con. He shows no emotion and no remorse and never takes responsibility for any of his actions even to this day, but has become addicted to crack cocaine and now if I thought it was bad then it is even worse. He gets people to watch my home, even under a restraining order, accusing me of the most outrageous things you wouldn't even imagine. I put myself through three years of college and have run a web design business for three years now and I never lie. When he speaks I have always thought - oh my God, it is some serious delusion and I cannot understand it. Now I am researching this and trying to understand the mind of a mad man. It is so hard to keep it together emotionally because of everything I have gone through and to share ALL the details would be too much and would be the stuff of a very long novel. I now need to go to counseling to try to fix my emotional state of mind as it is crushed and every day with my three children is a challenge. To all other women out there that can relate to my story I feel for all of you and wish you God speed and may God bless each and every one of you.

Well aren't we all just a big bunch uh happy sociopaths =d mmmm :]]]] lets start another race, whudya say?? ;)))Hahahahhaanon11583 how are you feeling??

Most sociopaths can't help their conditions from the sounds of it. Does that justify some of their actions? Of course not. I have seen people saying that sociopaths should be avoided. Avoiding them will only make them more manipulative and possibly make them angry as well. How about finding a way to help them?

I have tried to keep terms clear as concepts may appear alien to some and I have paraphrased often as anyone who has read this probably has some background information. A great number of people here have said something on the lines of "seek help" or "you can change", but the changes you would observe would be purely superficial when would they get the "emotions" back? Can anyone know how deep their lies go, and how one could recover from a entire fabricated life? Do you want to think like one of them? Why do you believe they want to be "normal"? Most are not after normality, some want to understand why situations affect them differently to their neighbors. Which does fit very nicely into their self-focus, as it is always in ones best interest to know what is going on with one's own mind or body.

Obviously, science hasn't figured that out yet, and instead they are labeled/treated like standard asylum-fare which cannot exist in normal society, which in most ways is false in the case of a run of the mill sociopath. Holding a job has been touched on many times and is understandable from their point of view, as it must be a very clear that they are doing what’s best for #1, they will not go beyond the line of duty without a visible reward, and as such, minor go-nowhere jobs bore them, nor allow them to advance due to the "what’s required" attitude. On the other side though, a sociopath CEO would take bribes, cut corners, fix books/(lie) etc in order to their lives better, I'm positive that if existing CEOs were examined closely enough they would match the profile as well.

These people are not broken or crazy, they merely think differently. They are a small but present portion of the population, not all are as two faced as described, nor are they stone-faced robots, even when they are alone. Yes, many are parasites in relationships, but so are leeches, and in many cases do just as much long term harm. The extreme drains are the exception, not the rule, the worse the drain, the more visible. While it may be true that some of them cannot feel "normal" love, but that term has such a variable meaning why doesn't their version count? To those who believe love really requires all those emotions, the sociopath might consider his partner a very interesting/attractive person and remain loyal even without this true emotion obligating him, and his partner would have the normal version of love for him. No one is hurt in said relationship. They are out for themselves, but that doesn't have to be negative for their partner, many people are not right for each other, and that would constitute a breakup eventually. If you suspect your partner is one, you have very few choices; keep him interested if you want to keep him, break it off, or be prepared for when he does. Your suspicion tells you something on its own. The really good sociopath won’t even have you suspicious for as long as you know them, in which case why do you care?

Their version of friends is very similar to yours; you keep these people as a form of entertainment as they do, please correct me if you can give me an honest observable difference. What else is there to them, if done properly the friend has no idea and the sociopath isn't hurting anyone. In the case the "friend" gets too boring, the friendship ends, this has happened to normal people for equally stupid reasons. Why hold onto a friend who bores you every time you see him/her?

These people are not monsters, these posts of: "My girlfriend/boyfriend did all these horrible things..." therefore he/she is a evil sociopath is just plain stupid, how do you have any idea what is going though their head. Does this mean everyone who commits murder is a psychopath (enjoyed it)? A sociopath would not do these things maliciously, with the exception that it was entertaining, they would toss you aside because you no longer pleased them (entertainment/sex/lifestyle) and then forget (not literally) about you. Quit the mind reading, it only enhances the misunderstanding, perhaps it may have even been one of the causes of the breakup instead.

Interested is a very loaded term here, whatever draws a sociopath to something is their interest, be it for financial gain, sex, or just keeping the boredom at bay. This is their guiding star, doesn't mean you can't gain something from them at the same time or simply co-exist with them. Simply put, realize that even though you are a screwdriver, they won’t necessarily throw you, instead of placing you in the toolbox when done, he/she might instead put you on the velvet cushion as the favorite tool.

Please beware of diagnosing yourself or others who have hurt you. Just because someone has lied to you, tried to take your children from you, or done other wrongs to you does not mean that they have a mental illness. Similarly, just because you have done these things does not mean you have a condition. People by nature are hurtful and selfish; does that mean we should diagnose the entire world population as sociopathic? Such a diagnosis, if false, could ruin a person's life, as well as the lives of the people around him.

At the same time, if you do come into contact with someone with the above qualities, sociopath or not, you should probably steer clear of them! They are clearly bad for you and don't have your best intentions at heart.

Lastly, it is possible to be "slightly sociopathic." Maybe you have trouble showing emotions or feeling guilt. How is this any different from someone who has trouble cooking or singing? Everyone is born with some abilities and without some. You shouldn't be persecuted because of it, and you shouldn't feel like less of a person for lacking such abilities.

I was married for 23 years to someone who fits the profile of a sociopath. We have a daughter who is 17 who he does not provide for. He wont even call her. He could never hold a job and we were always on the verge of poverty. He like to use other people's money for "investments" but it was always a dead end. He was abusive and had no remorse after one of his fits! He acted confused when we wouldn't be happy or act grateful after he would verbally or physically bash us. Charming, he was dripping with charm, everyone liked him and thought he was funny until they spent more than 2 hours with him. Bottom line....be careful he is out there and there are people like him. He will drain your account, send you into bankruptcy and hurt your children and smile all while he's doing it.

i dated a sociopath. thought i loved him, but in fact loved the person he pretended to be. he is a person who is capable of lying, cheating and stealing without feeling the slightest bit of remorse.....what's worse is that he comes from a wealthy family back east, so his feelings of grandeur, entitlement and invincibility are amplified. He claimed to have been molested by his sister, and that as a result he couldn't have sexual relations with those whom he loved (allegedly me).... however, I came to find out that while he wasnt' with me, he was with a laundry list of girls ranging from out of town whores to one that actually lived in his apartment building. this truly evil and disgusting creature is named jesse. watch out for jesse and other sociopaths.

Thank you on the "better control of emotions" - that is valid and since I posted, I dug deeper into all of my work related performance evaluations, finally had the courage to read my dad's journal to me that I've had for over 20 years. I am a post-traumatic brain injury survivor and I couldn't figure out what was keeping me so reactive emotionally. It was far more involved that the frontal lobe aspect of my injury. You're spot on about extreme resentment and bitterness. Until I was 6 years old, I was very loved by my dad. Witnessed my mother try to kill him with a butcher knife (he caught her wrist mid-air) and we kids were sent to boarding school in another country for three years shortly thereafter. I projected in spades towards my father who raised us as for some reason, it was extremely important to him that we not be like our mother (they were divorced while we were in boarding school) and the more he tried to make us not be like her, the more compelled I was to protect her. I must have been having the longest temper tantrum on record if not projection off the charts all the while clinging to the parent who was in fact abusing us. Good grief - I knew she was sick as it was kind of hard to miss but I never came to terms with the fact that she is so classically devoid of conscience and inability to connect to anyone emotionally. She competed with me my whole life and some of the covert behaviors this woman engaged in all the while creating the illusion of the poor me sacrificing martyr nearly destroyed both my daughters. My oldest one is as masterful a manipulator as her grandmother and her birth father, and further just heard via my younger daughter that the older is pregnant now with her 4th. I already have concerns about the grandson and third grandchild. My own sister is like my mother.

Criminy - is this genetic?

Funny thing is, now that I recognize and stop avoiding dealing with the truth my anxiety has already substantially diminished.

I have read many of the postings here regarding the recognized characteristics of a "sociopath" (aka "antisocial personality"). I googled the term "sociopath" because I was in search of the definition of a sociopath, and whether I might be one. Several postings go on about the individuals in their life that they have determined to be sociopaths, as a consequence of some failure or setback in the development or success of their relationships with the individuals that are the targets of the appellation; still others self-portray themselves as "sociopaths" simply because some other the criteria embedded in the "accepted" diagnosis models fit what they perceive to be an integral part of they personal make-up. I think by and large that the latter individuals are a product of their own making; and the former individuals may or may not be in the grip of what is a very "human" need to assign fault to or in a deeply disagreeable situation.

What I have discovered in this attempt to bring understanding to the complexity of my life's experiences, in connection with my relationships with other human beings, is that "sh** happens!" It is a biological circumstance of necessity for both personal relief, and continued development. I read somewhere (or heard it expressed) that "life" is a cycle of "waiting for stuff to happen," "dealing with (or suffering with) stuff as it happens," and "making stuff happen." Of the 6 Billion people mentioned that occupy this planet, rarely (at any given time in history, at present, or in the future to come) is anyone immune to this consequence of living.

True some people experience far more of one or more of the elements of that cycle than others, and might wonder why (as is a natural response). The bottom line however is, as individuals occupying this realm of existence there will be points in time where we all experience and exhibit personality traits that are anti-social to someone or even a host of someone's. For those of us that seek to modify or minimize the negative impact these occasions have upon ourselves or others (which it even appears the self-proclaimed "sociopath"'s among you attest to having done, or are doing), the success or failure of the endeavor is not as fundamentally substantial as the acceptance of the reality that we are "individuals" subject to the cycles of our life's individual experience; and as such, to find personal peace in the realities that comprise you, in a world where it may not always be fashionable Just2BMe. Peace.

To all who have either thought they are a sociopath or have shared why they believe they are, I say you are not. A true Sociopath doesn't care whether they are or not and they don't care what you think. I've seen many use lower case I's as they describe their antisocial nature. A true Sociopath would not use anything but upper case I's. Many of you believe lying is a big reason. It isn't. My mother is a sociopath and doesn't lie, she doesn't need to.

If you are a sociopath, you would be trying to tell us why you do the things you do, not stating symptoms and how they match your personality. A sociopath is the pedophile, the emotional abuser and the stalker. They don't care what their victim feels, they don't care that your best friend just died, and they don't care if you return their advances. It's all about them and how great their accomplishments are. Everyone else is chopped liver to them. They may or may not be abusive.

They bottom line is they don't care and nothing you say to them phases or sways their beliefs why their way is superior to everyone else's. They can justify every negative thing they do. They would not be here commenting about this on this site because they don't need to and don't care. lack of empathy without conscience is their standard operating procedure.

I have a pattern of abusive relationships, beginning with my first ex-husband who via court-ordered psychological evaluations was diagnosed as a paranoid personality disorder. Our daughter was diagnosed as DID (multiple personality) and hospitalized at around age 11 or 12. My second ex was said to be a pedophile after I reported him to CPS. Between all of that, I sustained a brain injury via a head on multi-trauma MVA believed to have been caused by vehicle tampering by first ex. Short story, I missed the early red flags persistently. I always believed that my father had abused us, only now coming to the recognition that it was in fact my mother that abused us - absent any remorse, a very "sick" woman she is for sure. Yet I am only just now coming to the recognition that, as a therapist told me many years ago, it was in fact my mother who was the root of my problem, not my father at all.

I am in rehab for the brain injury after many years of being undiagnosed as such. I believe that I have a sort of PTSD that adds to my emotional reactivity underlying the post concussive syndrome and ADD. Which of course impairs the effectiveness of my communications when I encounter similar situations in the emotional aspect to events in my past.

I suspect my own mother may well be significantly personality disordered. She did not raise us, my father did. Yet it was extremely important to him that we not be like her, only he never explained why we shouldn't be like her. I was the one of three siblings that in essence clung to her and didn't begin to emotionally detach until she put my children at risk with the 1st ex in violation of my custody order and her reaction when confronted about it was to tell me she wished I had died in that accident.

It's only recently that I came to the awareness that the end of a very good career for me began with a female manager who, like my mother, was exceptionally charismatic, yet cut-throat when anything got in the way of what she wanted. Very self-focused, lied on a dime and so forth. Not looking at this from the victim perspective although it sounds like it.

What does this make me? Am I correct about the PTSD being applicable about me? Or did I end up with a personality disorder?

All I can say to women out there in a relationship with a sociopath or in any kind of an abusive relationship. You will leave when it hurts bad enough. You may think it hurts really bad but if you don't get out than it really hasn't hurt bad enough. Others looking in may wonder why you don't leave and the answer is still it doesn't hurt bad enough yet. They never grow a heart it's impossible. You must move on.

I'm married to a sociopath. He has all the negative qualities other wives and girlfriends have complained about with military training and PTSD on top. Needless to say he's difficult to live with. The VA doctors have put him on every medication known to man, but he prefers vodka. After his current doc suggested electric shock treatment he stopped going to therapy.

How do I live with his madness? 1) Don't trust him with anything important (like a checkbook) 2) don't let his behavior upset me/make me sweat 3) call the cops if he gets physical (that includes with the furniture and pets). 4)set boundaries

All us girls in this position need to ask ourselves what we saw in them. There are always warning signs before you get in too deep. I liked the fact that my husband is a tough guy. I saw him as this great protector. I should have known he'd eventually turn his temper on me. I had to own the fact that I envy him a bit. I'm such a bleeding heart I weep for the whole world. In contrast, he doesn't give a damn. He knows he's insane and he's proud of it.

Our second anniversary is coming up in June. My advice to the other ladies is to decide how long you are willing to play this game with your mate. Most start mellowing in their 30's. As for me I'm concerned I may let him chip my calm exterior someday. Many women are doing time for killing their spouses. I don't want to join them so I'm filing for divorce.

I have to agree with Anon605. I am a 19 year old sociopath, and I feel that this article is a little derogatory to a condition that has an extensive genetic component. Many studies have been conducted on ASPD/Sociopathy/Psychopathy such as the PCL-R by Dr. Robert Hare from UBC, and none of them seem to frame it as negatively. Medical conditions after all, should remain neutral.

Consider also the heavy moral component of sociopathy as a public image. I do not believe in moral absolutes, rather I ascribe to the morally relative. This means that my sense of right and wrong will not also coincide with the social norm. To label this deviancy with a non-neutral connotation is being close-minded.

Yes, I did exhibit the MacDonald triad in childhood. Yes I have lied, I'll admit it. But just because we lack what the social public calls a "conscience", it does not mean that we are intrinsically a negative force. We are, ultimately, a neutral force as opposed to the "positive, conscience-driven" force of the western public.

I am thoroughly confused..Borderline, Sociopath, Narcissist, Aspergers, Bipolar, Hyper sexual...it seems the person I was involved with had all these traits and tendencies! Scary! How can a person sort it all out? He's out of my life now...but all of

this is so foreign to me...I'm still trying to learn to better understand. HELP!

A lot of the comments here misunderstand being a sociopath. People who are sociopaths aren't killers and don't manipulate court decisions and so forth.

1% of women and 3% of men means 2% of all people. So every time you meet 50 new people you're likely to meet one person who is a sociopath.

To:anon13082

I don't know what the psychiatrists would call your boyfriend, but I'm going to call him a control freak.

He'll never change. If he didn't care enough about you to go to the hospital when you were sick and he went out with another woman, he's just not that into you. Maybe that's part of the definition of a sociopath, (not really caring about anyone) but he certainly doesn't really care about you. You can go to therapy, spend a lot of money and waste more of your time with him, but if he really loved you, you wouldn't have to ask if there's something wrong with him. I'm sorry but you are just the type of person his type thrives on. You make him look normal. Your place on earth is not to make him feel good about himself, unless he makes you feel good about yourself, and that's not going to happen. Just my opinion after years of dealing with people like him, and watching people like you try to fix them.

Marilyn

Yes, I am a sociopath. All my life I have known I am different. It is easy to fit in, and get along with others, even if it's all fake. I admit to have done terrible things to people that some may consider unforgivable and feel no remorse whatsoever. On the flipside, this shouldn't be seen as a 'disorder', but rather a special attribute.

Having the ability to do anything you want to and remain unaffected emotionally is something I am sure many would die, [or even kill] for.

I quite enjoy being the way I am -- Though I sometimes find it hard to look past the preppy attitudes portrayed by people. If you ask me, they're the ones hiding their true feelings acting like nothing is wrong. Hehe..

I think my boyfriend is a sociopath. We've been together for the last 3 years, dating 15 years ago, but relocation of our jobs separated us. In the past week I had to have surgery and needed to some help from him. He became callous and I became angry and raised my voice and expressed my disappointment in him not being there for me. One week to the day of my surgery was my birthday and I found out that my boyfriend went out with another woman. His only reaction and response was that I yelled at him and I shouldn't have done that. I guess he thought he was punishing me - he really thinks that this makes sense. He had the right to go out, because I pissed him off. And I need to get over it. Am I crazy or is this sociopath behavior, note this is not the only time that he has behaved in ways that seem out of touch with peoples opinions and feelings. Needless to say, I'm not going to have anything to do with him anymore. He keeps calling and asking if I'm over it yet?

To the person that really wants to fix her boyfriend. Listen to me, I don't know you but this is the best advice you will ever get in your whole life. Run away. I tried to fix my mother until I was 42 years old, until she had ruined my life to where I was a wreck, panic attacks just devastated. I finally said no more and walked away. I am really good now but it took me years. I have 3 daughters and a husband of 35 years and they saw what she did to me and how she controlled me and still know how to push my buttons and don't even know they are doing it. I call them on it. Let me tell you a life of always having to think ahead and figure out what plan they have in mind is sooooo tiring it just isn't worth it. I read somewhere the best way to get rid of them is to let them make the choice. You set standards that you know they will not abide by and they will want to leave. May be a good test for your boyfriend but I say if you really believe he is then just run fast. I am not the kind of person not to give a second chance but unless your prepared to give 6000 chances forget it.

My friend is psychopath, diagnosed by me. Ive known him for the last 15 years so im sure about this. He Lies, manipulates, his whole being is a fake construction, quotes and steals ideas from others, violent and aggressive, fights cowardly (kicks in the groin, unexpected headbutts etc), he steals (like "borrow without asking"), he calls himself "alphamale", very charming and fakes his personality towards new people, especially girls, promiscuous sexual behavior, easily bored and needs entertainment or stimuli, drugs, lots of weed and alcohol, no remorse, lack of respect for authority. He says he hates violence, but is always up for a fight. If he cries it is just to win empathy, every move is an conscious investment with an self centered objective.

Life is a game for him, and the social scene is his primary arena. I see straight trough him though, he doesnt know.

If get up into trouble, hes the guy to call. So I use him too, he loves to beat the crap out of someone with a reason which really means nothing to him.

Im clinically diagnosed with asperger syndrome btw.

I always thought my boyfriend was controlling, I found an answer I soon realized was beyond just controlling, I believe he is a sociopath. I'm not sure to some extent though... When he broke down he told me things that i never put together, that never made sense, made me question my sanity and the world. Now i can see it.

He told me something is wrong with him, deep down inside he hated himself, he new he was different from everyone else. He takes bits and parts of other people and turns them into himself, a mimic.

He told me he argues because he likes to, for no specific reason at all, and he makes up any reasons what so ever to make sure he wins. he knows he abuses everyone for no apparent reason. He does everything every website says. even claiming to killing people in the past ( I never believed it until I read what I read).

I can't give up, I can't. I want to fix him because I know he hates himself. No matter what guilt trips he puts me through, tricks and holes. I know he loves me, I am of no use to him financially and we didn't start making love for a long while after we met.

He has had multiple relationships in the past, short period ones. I was the first girl he ever stayed with for a long period of time (he has friends and his ex girlfriends to back this up, so I know it isn't made up to make me feel special).

I believe he wants to change. I am the victim of one of the most unique socipaths on earth. blah...

My ex-husband is a sociopath. No empathy, abusive, made me question my own sanity a lot, very convincing to the judges, to the lawyers, to the psychologists, dramatic. I understand he has a problem but it doesn't matter because he will never care about getting better. You cannot change a sociopath. You can not really love a sociopath because deep down you will not understand them or respect them. Yes they have a problem. So what? To me he is evil because he has hurt me and our daughter physically/emotionally. I just want him to go away and leave us alone. Luckily his recent obsessive behavior with his latest ex-girlfriend and his recent arrests may just give me a long awaited break full of peace and quiet.

I see all over the internet sites and information that tell a person how to save themselves from the sociopaths out there. But I see nowhere out there anything regarding how a sociopath who dislikes being one can help themselves.

A little about me. I would consider myself a sociopath, with narcissistic tendencies, OCD and ADHD. I believe strongly that they are all linked to the ADHD.

My world exists to me in a small bubble of consciousness. Events that occurred prior to the bubble are immaterial unless they physically affect that which is in the bubble. Events that occur after the bubble are not accounted for because I cannot see them. I am narcissistic because I am the only constant variable. I am OCD because I must be, in order to function halfway properly I must maintain rigid control of the aspects of the world that I am able. And I cannot regard others as being remotely the same as I for they are not. Their world exists as a whole, their thoughts flow into each other, and they can plan for their future existence. I, on the other hand, live in a world broken apart like disconnected puzzle pieces. They lay in the proper order, but they are not touching. My thoughts dance about, interfered by the smallest of distractions. And my future is completely uncertain as from my vantage point all possibilities are equally likely and thus none can be prepared for.

I have cheated on my wife, I have slept around because sex is simply a physical act. I take steps to ensure I do not procreate, but ultimately if I did, it's not my problem. If I pay a bit of child support it doesn't matter. I have stolen because I wanted, not because I couldn't afford. I lie constantly about who I am, what my abilities are, what job skills I have, and because I am intelligent I can learn the job skills I lied about in a short enough time that none are the wiser.

You pretentious heathens, walking around pretending that who I am and what I am somehow makes me dangerous, it is just how I manage my existence. If it weren't for me telling you, you would never know I existed. I would be just another jerk in the crowd.

Yet here I sit, pondering if I could be capable of greater things. Not as a question of ability, but of capability. Where I am now has taken great effort, I am successful because despite my shortcomings in the emotional and ethical department, my mind functions vividly and cleanly. I can see clearly that I am held back by my absence of morals and emotions. As ironic as that seems to me, the thing I view as your weakness is, in fact mine instead. Where do I go for help?

chris

I'm quite sure I am a sociopath, as I do fit this criteria. My family and friends also have considered me as being one. I recently went to see a psychiatrist and being 18 years of age, he believes that there is a high probability I am, as well as having schizophrenia (by high probability, I mean he insists on having a few more visits to ensure he is correct). I've been arrested quite a few times, never held a job for very long, have hurt many people (emotionally and physically, not so much financially) and in the end, I couldn't care less. I've never felt guilty or remorseful about anything I've done. I feel I can do whatever I want, how I want and when I want. I see people as objects more than anything else, waiting out there in the open usually unsuspecting. I've manipulated various people and usually their lives got destroyed (emotionally mostly, although a decent amount of physical damage was done). My father rarely, if never showed any emotions and my mother, when she was home and not drinking, sometimes was approachable. I've lied countless times (here I am being truthful) from such a young age. I remember my parents at first trying to discipline me but there was nothing on my part. Instead of giving up, they used more painful methods, verbal and physical. However, despite this, I tend to not do much drugs, mainly alcohol if any (not a constant drunk though). Concepts of "right" and "wrong" are simple words to me and I've always felt I can do whatever I want, to whoever I want, whenever I want and however I want. I'm fairly intelligent, although no mathematical genuis, I will be in 2nd year soon (finished my exams of 1st year, passed everything easily and doing psychology this summer). Depending on how psychology goes, it may either be a double major in biology and psychology or biology and chemistry. I'm already very good at getting inside people's heads, using them and knowing some stuff on the human body but I intend to learn so much more and in a way become more "powerful". In conclusion, I've been diagnosed as a sociopath and schizophrenic.

hi, my mother is a sociopath but as the article says she does not realize it. my parents are currently going through a divorce and my mother has become very cunning and violent towards my father and does not realize she is doing wrong and blames everything on him and his family. recently my mother has been seeing a very dangerous man known to the area as mentally ill. he has been to prison in the past for murder, dealing drugs, sexually abusing child etc. and he is waiting now to go to court at the start of next month for 17 different cases. my father has fear for his life and my mother is getting out of control. i haven't been getting on with my mother and our relationship has gotten worse and worse to the point that we don't talk anymore and try to avoid each other. what should i do?

I have had to deal with many evil doers in my life. I know that sounds extreme, but that is how true sociopaths are. My ex husband.

I’m guessing, you, the reader is very suspicious of my claim I just made. But it is the truth. Read on, I’ll explain. My ex husband cheated on me… numerous times, while we were married (yea so what…? lot’s of people cheat right? Yea that’s right.) In my ex’s case, he told me directly that he was having sex with other women…and men too. But I didn’t freak like maybe a normal spouse would, because it had been so obvious and because he was an extreme perverse sex addict (which I found out after we were married)—he wanted to swing. He pestered me for hours to hook up with other people ( I never would), he also bought lot’s and lots of sex toys….disgusted me. He forced me many times to have sex. It was so unimaginably painful, more and almost entirely emotionally painful. I tried to tell people, and no one seemed to believe me. I was young and vulnerable, and didn’t have many friends or a supportive family so there really was no one to tell. I knew that him meddling around with other women, and sickly with men too, meant he would leave me alone more, so it was strangely a good thing to hear to me at the time.

He also sexually abused our first daughter when she was just 9 months old. Social services was involved, and at the time I wasn’t putting two and two together and he was never found out, Social services inquired that it might be him, but I didn’t know, and protected the bastard at the time. Not surprisingly, the marriage ended and he left the state. For 6 years he had little to almost no interest or contact with the kids, which was very good, and me and the kids lived normal lives. then his parents moved back to the area, and he followed them. His father is a big wig at the public service plant here and a few other states. This is going to sound like bull, but honestly, he has spoken in the same arenas as President Bush, and meets with him and others who work with him.

Anyway, my ex was offered a job through his father, the one that actually knows President Bush. Though my ex claims he moved back to the area because, as he says. “it was because he wanted to be part of his children’s lives”. Sure…. (Like it had nothing to do with his parents moving here, or a higher paying job, which he already had working for another company his dad was the vice president of...another story for another time) My ex hired a lawyer right away (even before he moved here) and even before I could say I didn’t want him to have the kids or not, he didn’t even ask me. He prepared for a custody battle. I didn’t have the money for a lawyer at the time, so I agreed to a 50/50 placement. And ironically his sexual abuse to my daughter, a baby of 9 months, was used against me. He tells people that I am making that up. And that I’m psycho… because I am accusing him of such a horrible thing. People believe him. (the sexual abuse was documented, but it was never found out who, and at the time I wasn’t able to put two and two together, even thought I saw it once…I know it’s hard to believe I didn’t know until later when things clicked in my brain that it was him.)

I learned to not tell lawyers or physiologists or counselors, who he dragged into our lives, or really anybody, because no one believes me that he did it. It’s like the protective child service report means nothing...It is horrible and unbelievable that he would have abused a baby…his daughter, but it’s what happened. Then to make things worse, he was able to get others to pity him! for so many things, and having to deal with (me) “a mean bitch” who would accuse him of that.

Yea a sociopath can’t really change. His mom and him and his new wife all attack me through countless verbal criticisms and emails. He hired another lawyer and started to try to get our children—two daughters (the younger one has a conscience and can see somewhat of what he is). He wanted primary custody. He wanted me out of their lives entirely, except with supervised visitations. And I have been an incredibly good mom. Our oldest the one he abused, is very troubled. She also lacks remorse and will hurt others deliberately, she’s dangerous… really. I’m almost positive she inherited the lack of remorse and ability to feel empathy.

My ex, after he came back from his years away, got our oldest to tell the police, and a bunch of other school officials, and social workers, that she saw marijuana in my home, and that my boyfriend and I were crack users (complete bull). She also told them my boyfriend hit her on several occasions (that never happened, not once) , and that I was just plain crazy. –all lies. She also started running away from my home, she would do this shortly after having a visit with her father, and these visits were not told to me. Her father would blame me and get her so angry and hateful at me.

His mother, my daughter’s grandma, supported all of this, and even encouraged it in many sick ways. Any rules I made for our troubled oldest daughter who was now 16, were claimed as me being crazy…insane, but if I didn’t make a rule they said I was allowing the kids to do as they pleased, and that I didn’t care…I was then neglectful. The truth is that I was very patient, very honest, and steady with rules throughout his and her attacks. I was accused of being a drug user, abuser, and neglectful. I couldn’t win. They tore at my soul in so many ways. Eventually they got my oldest, Amanda, to not just side with them, but to leave my home entirely and the reporting to officials got worse…completely made up things.

It was ghastly atrocious really.

I remember the night Amanda “moved out”. That night my ex husband called the police, making this ridiculous story up that my boyfriend was hitting her…, Amanda. It wasn’t true at all. Actually, my boyfriend and I were in our bedroom watching a movie. Amanda, unannounced packed and apparently had packed her suitcase. Next she started throwing a tantrum. We stopped watching the movie, and Amanda started throwing things, she split a heavy wooden chair against the wall about 10 feet of a throw. I have pictures of the chair. She says it was all because I wouldn’t let her go out, which I wouldn’t cause she asked after 9p, I said no, cause it was late. After her tantrum of throwing things, including shattering the remote control, she then went outside and started crying in the front yard. My boyfriend and I were really shaken.

Amanda had apparently called my ex-husband who had called the police shortly before—probably while Amanda was throwing her tantrum.

Next his mom, the police, and my ex, all arrived in our driveway, closely at the same time. As they arrived Amanda was in tears in the front yard. I was shocked at the entourage … The police officer seemed to understand, thank goodness.

My daughter unfortunately has been involved with the police so they know her as to being a vicious kid, unfortunately. Also the police were somewhat familiar with my ex because, my ex had tried to get my house searched for drugs, which never happened (a whole other situation where he wanted to hurt me.) Anyway, the officer was empathetic with me and boyfriend. The officer actually told my ex’s mom that she needs to step out of this.

The officer didn’t even come in our house. Amanda, her father(my ex), and grandma left, threatening that they would be taking this up with a higher law officials. The police officer stood there with us as they left, somewhat consoling us. Ironically, that whole incident worked against my ex…the report didn’t go exactly they way he wanted.

Also, I think it should be noted that surprisingly my ex and his mother are both very high achieving financially successful people. His mom works between medical care and many insurance companies.. She helps to decide what will be covered under insurance or…not. My ex works in public service, that’s because of his dad.

This makes them much more believable to others, and they use it…believe me to fullest extent that they can as they try to paint this hideous story of me. Over the years I have very sadly learned how horrible some people can be. My ex, my daughter, and his mom, have hurt me more than they probably know. I suffer inside; I have tremendous pain and think about their constant criticism, attacks through lawyers, counselors, emails, and more. I play strong. And in a way I am stronger than I use to be…but I have suffered. I would never tell them that…but I cry, I tremble when I see them, I’m basically much more insecure, anxious, and leery

To the comment that prompted my vent….”sociopaths can change”… They can’t. Sociopaths lack feelings, they won’t have them ever. My oldest, Amanda, as cruel as it sounds she is a sociopath. One of the psychologist involved who is probably one of the more experienced and respected people around, said that he has never seen a child with that much lack of remorse. (He has 30 years of experience, and he has never seen a child like my daughter, makes me want to cry just typing that.) He said almost the same thing about her grandma. He said in his 30 years he hasn’t experienced an unholy alliance like my ex’s mom has with her son. He said she’s vicious. You may be asking…why and how would a psychologist make a prognoses for the daughter, the ex, and the grandma. I’ll tell you…Because the custody battle led to an order of psychological evaluations. That’s how they were found out…it took this level of investigation.

So, my point, which was very drawn out, but in response to the comment that sociopaths “can’t change…” Sociopaths do not follow a moral code ever, even if they pretend…its just an act, one of their many many scenes. The sad truth is, they are simply not capable and at all or interested in, having empathy for others. Actually, quite the opposite. They want!, they hunger!, and they lust!, after power and control over others, They strive for it. Watch out! Be prepared because my ex, his mom, and my daughter aren’t the only sociopaths out there posing as having “changed”.

My granddaughter - age 5 is the daughter of a sociopath father. He abused her at age 3 - because she was so young, she was not able to disclose to authorities. He has finessed the system, lawyers, judges, etc. that he wants to help raise her. He was never married to my daughter and did not want the child but now he is adamant to prove to the world that he is a good father, etc. with no regard to the child's feelings. She cries when she is told she has to see him, she has nightmares almost every night and yet does not know what they are about. Right now because of the California laws, he has everyone feeling sorry for him. What can I do (nothing legal at this time until the child divulges which might not be for several more years) to encourage him to let her go. She does not love him and does not want to be with him. What would trigger this personality to let this go and leave her alone?? Help...

I really don't believe a sociopath can change. I get a little angry with people that say they read through these posts and find them funny or have no compassion for the victims of a sociopath. It isn't very easy for the normal person to even imagine the depth of the complicated lies that a sociopath will tell or the extent of what they will do to get their way. I grew up with a mother that was a sociopath and caught on to it at a very young age but it was so hard to always have to be one step ahead to protect yourself. God gave me the special power to see through it and believe me I still can I can spot a liar or a scam 100 miles away. But it it very hard to let go of your family and just leave which is the only way. Good Luck to those out there dealing you are not the crazy one no matter how many times they tell you it's your fault. Just runnnnnnn

Anybody out there? I happened to 'trip' onto this site and feel flabbergasted over it. So many people looking for help and here I thought I was the only one! No HA! here! I am a multiple personality of about 30; due to much, and terrible abuse as a child and young adult. I was diagnosed wrongly years ago into many associated disorders like 'manic-depression' 'schizoid', and a few others. I believed them. They put me on so many drugs and nothing helped. I mean, nothing! I turned into a walking zombie! All these people wanted to do was cover up my problem and even worse, then addiction set in! Over and over I have looked for help, and no one takes me seriously. I can sit in a doctors office and manifest a worried child of about 4, and then the looks come on their faces...'nut case'. So then they want to give me more medication and I am sick to death of it! Isn't there anyone out there who is able to see a real need anymore? So that a person is able to 'heal' instead of being drugged? I live in Wisconsin near the Eau Claire area. And people around here are pretty ignorant of this type of thing. Any suggestions? If you can hear me, I truly need some help. I recently had a relationship with a sociopath who put the icing on the cake! Now, everytime some stressors come, I manifest out of control, looking for that place to hide in and be safe once again. There is a personality on board who likes to cut me and I am in dismay about this entire mess. I will NOT take mind-altering drugs, for I am a Prophet; yes, folks, it's the truth. So, if any one of you out there love The Lord Your God, maybe you could help me! A 'nut-case' starved for some understanding and empathy.

A sociopath can change with time and help

FRED - just read your post. I've known just such a person for 22 years and had two sons with her. We have been divorced 10 years. All the same things you speak of. Dysfunctional, pathological liar, white collar crime, stealing, aliases, squeezing money out of everyone she can. Has our children conned into believing their father is a horrible person. She has custody because I never stood a chance in court against her. She manipulates through emotional bullying. Has never held down a job. Fired for stealing from the last one. My prayers are with you. I wish you every success with your children in hopes they see it eventually. Mine - 12, 19, and 28 - still believe her. What's more - they know what she does, but are all emotionally crippled by her. Jim

I was married to a sociopath for 10 years. Been divorced from her for 10 years. She is the most charming person I've ever known. She's intelligent. She's my intellectual equal. She was a magnificent lover. She is the most convincing person I've ever known. I had two sons with her. She's a pathological liar. She has committed a host of white collar crimes - bank fraud, credit fraud, aliases, bad check, truancy with my sons. She is mentally abusive any time she is caught red handed. She knows how to manipulate people. In a court room, she has judges eating out of her hands. She has managed to stay in her house despite the mortgage company's efforts to throw her out (foreclosure). She has damaged my children beyond measure (I didn't stand a chance against her in a custody battle). I can tell you from my own experiences that you cannot heal a sociopath. They first have to recognize and admit they have a problem. They won't because they don't think they have a problem. I've tried to help her for 20 years. It is always someone else's fault - never theirs. Their problem is just never discussed. Try to discuss it and the conversation always spins around to what's wrong with you and why you are the problem. I've never been able to get through to her. I am broken hearted because I've never been able to help her - and my sons.

There is no cure. Sociopaths are born that way. They have irregular brain structures that cause them to lack what civilized beings have, and there is no way to change the way someone's brain works/is set up. I feel bad for them that they cannot feel things, but then again, they cause so much harm while alive that I cannot feel bad for them. But I still feel something because I am not one of them. I am a human being with feelings. My father is a sociopath and he has practically ruined my life. He had me so brainwashed that he was "the best father ever" that I didn't realize until 18 years into my life that he had a problem and that he abused me my entire life. On the outside he seems to be a great person, attracting many admirers wherever we go... even short trips to the grocery store!! He has so much charisma that he fools everyone. But he is a monster. He is extremely dangerous and he destroys everything and everyone he comes in contact with so that he can use it for himself. He doesn't know he is a sociopath and whenever someone in my family tries to tell him to get help because he "isn't right" he has extremely violent fits.

I am very much sociopathic. Before I was diagnosed, I had the impulse to go online and look up this disorder, only to learn that more than half of the characteristics listed about it perfectly describe me. I charm anyone who comes my way, just so that I can manipulate and use them later in the future. I have many many "friends" but none of them know that I only use them for what they can give me, or to please my sexual tendencies. At 17 years old, the age I am now, I have come to realize and accept who I am, what I have always been. I feel nothing. Just anger, which I have found to be the source of my Pride, the only strength I feel besides the power I possess over others. I happened to take the time to read damn near all of these anonymous postings, and from the things I have read I can honestly say that maybe only two of these postings seem genuine to me.

I am a liar, a thief, a chronic drug user and an alcoholic. And I have barely begun to live my life. I see the things I want and seize them the second I see fit, all the while maintaining the charm and compassion others see me with. I laugh at you fools that honestly believe you are sociopathic. Half of you don't even know what it means, let alone how it feels.

Maybe that person meant that "feeling" is what causes them to suffer.. maybe they are a victim of a sociopath and wishing that they didn't feel anymore so that they wouldn't be in pain? My mother is a sociopath, along with my sister.. I was constantly made fun of as a child because of my emotions, they were treated as a sign of weakness. I hated myself for having feelings and emotions.. I thought they were weaknesses. Probably because I hurt so much.

Now I know that having these feelings is my strength. The ability to feel passion and love and beauty is far more powerful than their destruction.

To lproxmaisox: You wish you were a sociopath?-- a horrid wish. It means you wish you would go out of your way to hurt others in ways that cause tremendous suffering and damage to lives as you get glee from it. It means you would be willing to sacrifice even your own well being just to see others hurt. Like kids being poisoned, families being broke and pushed apart, it means twisting truth so much a hardworking coworker's efforts are ruined, it means you would take a child away a loving home just to see the parent suffer, and then treat the child cruelly and laugh at the separation pain felt by both the child and the parent, it means you would watch as your constant hurtful actions bring down another humans spirit. Your wish to be a sociopath means you wish to have a dark infinite whole where a normal person has a heart, and not know or be able to fill the void, except gain thrill with hate and cruelty to others. But, no matter how much hate and pain the sociopath spreads their empty hole inside is never filled. How can anyone with a conscience wish for such a disgusting trait?

well, i must say that while i do not think that any of you are true sociopaths, you are completely entertaining. what i wonder is how those of you who took abuse from others did so for so long. unbelievable. you should do a personal gut check with particular attention to self worth. i have never understood how a person can become a prisoner of their own accord, with their own trappings. men are not the creatures of circumstance, circumstances are the creatures of men. some of the this really made me laugh, i could not write a better script for a movie. the fact that i am simultaneously amused, repulsed, and feel pity provides relief that i am not a sociopath. happy commiserating!

i dont know if i am or not i guess i have a charm and i cant feel for others. what am i?

Sometimes I wish I was a sociopath.

Sounds like some of the posts are individuals that are narcissistic. There is a difference. Often narcissistic people don't intend harm and can be devastated by the consequences of their actions. While sociopaths or psychopaths intend the harm or are totally indifferent to it as long as it doesn't impact them in a negative way

I just read the last post and I must admit I felt sorry for my mother for my whole life. I gave up years of my life and that of my husband and children and I couldn't fix her no matter how much I tried. There must be a lot of treatment and I personally saw no clue that treatment would have helped. it's something that just isn't there. I know that sounds hopeless and maybe mean to the person that may be trying but just one of your little lies can really mess with someones life. That kind of (being the puppet master) just isn't something that others can live with for very long. I had a horrible childhood being brought up by my mother the soul sucker and I'm nothing like that so I have a hard time believing that it is all childhood trauma it may contribute but what my mother did over and over was a product of no conscience at all. Maybe if you went for help and were totally real and told everything you really think there might be hope but I don't believe any sociopath could actually be that honest. People have to move away for their own safety there is no other way. Manipulation like that really messes with peoples minds and makes them doubt there own sense of reality and I think my mother got off on it. I never wished my mother dead but I sure spent hours wishing her across the country just far from me. She is dead now and my daughter and I still jump sometimes when the phone rings that just isn't right. People that have to deal with a sociopath need support to just cope it is exhausting. Hopefully they will develop more treatment or some treatment until then I'm sorry for the sociopath that may be trying to control it but my sympathy lies with their victims. We are not just friends and family we are victims. I must admit reading that post made me think if your being truthful, I never thought my mom spent one minute ever regretting anything she did. It would be nice now that she's gone to think maybe one day she did regret something she did to me. I must admit even in death she still has power from the grave. I am 54 years old and she always told me I was premature and about her awful experience having me and I just found out I wasn't premature. Stuff like that is so weird I find out new stuff all the time that she had told me that just wasn't true. It's almost like I was adopted and don't know the real story about my family history. Very hard to live with. I will end with I still hope there will be help out there at some point for the sociopath for the sake of all.

the funny thing about this is that most sociopaths have no intention of being heartless and vile, but they do it because that is all they know. I will admit to being a sociopath, and I can tell you honestly that although I almost never feel remorse and guilt, I still try as hard as i can to be a good person. Sociopaths understand ethics. We do not choose to ignore them, we are just missing that part of our brains. Can you really say its our fault? Studies show that most if not all of the sociopaths out there are that way because of their upbringing. I wasnt raised like most kids, therefore i didnt turn out like most people do. I know there are sociopaths out there that do horrible things, manipulate everyone they're around, even kill people. But most of us try to be normal. And if you are normal, there's no way you can come close to understanding how difficult that is. Every second of my life im thinking about whats wrong with my head. All day, even when i sleep, I think about solutions to my problems. And all these "experts" can say is "get these people out of your life". Were not robots, were not animals. We can hurt like you can. And building such a harsh reputation around something like sociopathy is wrong. its not fair. are we scapegoats?

there is always a way to help yourself. all you sociopaths out there listen...if we are a product of what we are around growing up, then whos to say that we cant change? ive been working on my brain, by thinking about this and practicing in social situations. You might not be able to cure yourself, but you can always make it better, even if just a little bit. what i do is just identify things that i do that arent normal, think about why it isnt normal, and try to change that next time i come into that situation. you dont even have to do that. dont feel sorry for yourself or you wont get anywhere. be a good person, try to love, (not infatuate, since the difference is very hard to see), maybe even cry once in a while. everyone feels emotions. let them destroy you for a few minutes, push some tears out something fierce, and then when youre done, have hope. you can always have hope.

whenever you realize you might be subconsciously manipulating someone in any way, get away from them, think about it, then go back and fix it. apologize, admit it, or just forget about it and move on, watching yourself the next time...whatever. just dont give up you sociopathic psychos out there. i love ya. find peace. i hope this helped.

I am one and just realized it.

@anon11520

you're not a sociopath. You're just manipulative.

oh, i love to push them buttons.

Get over yourself. You're not special. You're just an asylum-seeker fraud. I slay me.. I can spot them from a mile away.

Guess I'm one of the oddball sociopaths...For one I'm female, and I don't abuse drugs or booze. I get a thrill out or manipulating and controlling ppl to benefit myself. But I never Physically harm anyone! I do have a tendency to lies as well. I also have schizotypal personality disorder. Practically mild schizophrenia....I admit I do think about physical things. But what is the point when I can put you in mental anguish for the rest of your life. Many of you reading this probably think I'm a horrible person. But I only play these mind games with ppl who provoke me. Rather it be trying to control me, change me, or screw me over somehow....No one plays with me without there being repercussions. And there are many ways to get to ppl that are perfectly legal.

My mother was I don't know a sociopath. When I was younger this was not discussed. I know I always looked at Charlie Manson and said that's what she is. She went to treatment but my father and I would have to go also and she would just convince the Dr. that it was our fault. My dad let her get away with it her family let her get away with everything. They would just say don't make her nervous. She did horrible things to me and they all told me to just take it. She cut my hair off and told me I was allergic to my hair that's why I had too much ear wax. I also think she had Munchausen by proxy she made me sick. I had mono 4 times, she would just not want to deal with me and put me to bed for months. Everyone felt so sorry for her with a sick child. I fought alone, no siblings no one would help. I finally quit talking to her at 42. She still tried to manipulate me from afar. She finally overdosed herself last year. I hid behind my car when the police went into her apt. as I didn't want her to know she had gotten me there, I didn't think she was dead just pulling another of her schemes. The police officer told me he understood he had dealt with her so many times. She would have fake gas leaks, people after her with guns all for attention. She called me shortly before she died and told me she had bladder cancer and it was very hereditary to go and get testing done, she was taking chemo. I spoke with her doctor she didn't have cancer. Another lie. I guess the reason I am writing this is for others. She affected my life so badly for 49 years I was a mess. I want to alanon my father an alcoholic, my mother with her pills. Didn't help I sat and cried through so many meetings. Finally something hit me, I was a negative person. The way I had been realized nothing was ok unless there was something terrible going on, I guess she wasn't happy unless she was unhappy. So I decided to retrain myself to be positive. It was very hard but really didn't take long. I must admit for the first year I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall to get a panic attack but never happened. It has been 5 years now and I am finally free of all of it I still don't understand but I am happy for the first time. I am a whole new person. Maybe I'm just as crazy as her but in a weird way I am thankful to my nutty parents they made me a much better person, I am honest I don't lie I help others and can really see that they showed me what I didn't want to be. Hard way to learn that but I am being positive. I would think it would be hard to deal with a spouse or boyfriend but a parent is really hard to deal with. Thank You for the chance to get this out and good luck to others dealing with this it is soooo hard people don't believe the things they do it almost seems like a movie totally fictional.

I am a complete sociopath and i know that. I am 16 years old. I don't care about anyone but myself and i never have. Right and wrong don't exist to me and they never have. I know what i want and I do what I can to get what I want. That is how I live my life. I come from a typical family and I'm in the middle of what I would describe as a typical childhood (adolescence, whatever). I'm attractive, articulate, sexually promiscuous, intelligent, egotistical, and extremely charismatic. I have lots of friends and i can be whoever they want me to be. I'm a great friend as long as being friendly offers some advantage to me. The second a relationship i have with someone loses the advantage it gave me, the relationship is over. I use people to occupy my time but underneath it all, I don't care about them. That's all dandy, but i do have a dilemma.

I may not have a conscience of my own but that doesn't mean I don't understand everyone else's sense of "right" and "wrong". I understand it so I can fake it and faking it has worked for a while, but lately, I've been craving stimulation. I'm no longer content. Everything is becoming more and more mundane. There is the problem. Now the methods i use to entertain myself mean I keep getting in trouble with authority in general. i crave stimulation regardless of what that means will happen to others. I want to keep myself stimulated but I'm tired of Juvie. How can a sociopath be not bored without risk of arrest??

Can someone who has dated a sociopath tell how they were in the beginning? What are the early warning signs? How would one spot a sociopath before it gets too serious? (I kinda know about lying and manipulating, so no need to repeat those signs).

Surprising number of women consider their ex-husbands to be sociopaths . . .

To anon 11085-Thank you for summing up so nicely in your post. It made me finally realize after reading it why I hurt so much after breaking this "so-called relationship" off. I miss what I thought he was-I don't miss who he really is. I had to walk away-I also gave him the benefit of the doubt, on almost every circumstance. I became a nervous wreck & began to doubt my own suspicions & sanity!

My ex boyfriend is in jail. He is the man that I loved for 8 years, the man I believed in and trusted with my life, with everything. He stole things from those he loved, he lied, he crafted interesting stories, he lived double and triple lives –- and according to the Denver DA he will go away to prison for 2-8 years. If he lied to you, I’m sorry, he is a sociopath. He stole over $10,000 from me over the 8-year period. He was very charming and always knew what to say. From prison, he sent me a letter this weekend, and all he could say was, “send me W2 forms.” He has used me and I am not valuable to him any longer. Thus, he didn’t even try to be charming in the letter.

I think I stayed with him so long because his lies were exciting, but in hindsight it was a waste of my time. He crafted stories about two dead bothers that never existed. He said he was adopted, and he wasn't, which really hurt his mother. He created two degrees on his resume that never existed. He lied about his HIV status. He said he was raised Jewish, when his mother says she raised him Christian. He said he was raised in an upper middle class home, when in fact his parents were struggling. He said his father was a University Professor, when in fact he never was. He lied and lied and lied. He could create a lie in two milliseconds flat and make you feel like you were wrong if you called him on the lie. I have always had a high respect for honesty and integrity –- and yet I stayed with him and his stories.

I have found comfort reading other people’s stories. These guys are really smart and there is no need to feel guilty about being used. He used the guilty to use me and keep me supplying him with money, food, transportation, and housing. I was his free ride. His mother knew that he was diagnosed as a sociopath one month before he met me, but she didn’t tell me until 5 police officers stormed my house at gunpoint and took him away to jail for stealing. In hindsight, I think he stole from every job he held.

What happens when a sociopath meets up with another sociopath? Do either one of them know what the other is and if so would that mean they also know what they themselves are?

I also fell in love with a sociopath and now four years later I started reading about sociopaths and am trying to understand and accept what he has done to me. He is a text book case of the disorder and there is not even a question of doubt that he is one. He represents 28 of the 30 signs that a sociopath displays and when I went over the characteristics I truly tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

And oh is it ever heartbreaking because everything he has done to me he has no guilt or regret and if I refuse him he will just go find someone else to do it to. After reading so much on this topic the one thing it allowed me was a better handle on letting go as well as understand why he did what he did to me. I love him but not him, I love what he portrayed himself to be or what I thought he was and that is what I miss. I do not miss what he is, I miss what I thought he was.

I'm not going to lie, I'm 24 and I know that I'm a sociopath. I use everyone and everything around me. Although I don't cause physical harm to anyone I find myself manipulating people around me so they they are not able to catch a glimpse of the true "me", and sometimes just for fun in general. I am adopted and have never met my real parents. My adoptive parents were fine, actually they probably better parents than most biological parents out there, but I still find myself holding them in contempt with the rest of the human race anyway. Sometimes I think of myself, and people like me as beings that are just one step up on the evolutionary ladder, until I realized that I'm completely messed up and without a realization of what its like to be normal. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be the last human on the Earth, just so I don't have to pretend anymore. The very thing that causes me to hate myself is what sets me apart from the rest of you and so I embrace it. If anyone has any advice for me, I welcome it.

nc

To 10890: Don't judge others, unless you have been in a relationship with someone who IS a Sociopath. You are "sucked" in (charmed/manipulated)and develop feelings for them, before you even know there are serious issues. Then it slowly unravels...at least that's how it was for me.

I have never encountered this disorder before and I have read everything I can since, to educate & protect myself, should I ever find myself in the company of a Sociopath again! And, I have examined why I cared about this person. I am a loving, caring, trusting person, who just happened to encounter someone who knew it and took advantage of these qualities. Read up my friend...you have ALOT to learn...

This question is for sociopaths/devils creating a hateful and painful world...creating eternal suffering for their soul.

Do you know you are going to face judgment? Nothing can be done to change universal law...no crying or begging will change it..There will be no where to hide, run, or chance to scheme out of it.

There will be no mercy.

Grace, yes grace, keeps us safe, and tells what we should or shouldn't do, those who don't listen... will face the judge.

God bless those going to heaven. stay strong, hold on, pray.

Ninety-nine percent of these comments remind me of the conversations I would have with the PhD psychologist that I worked for about Asperger's. She specialized in Autism spectrum disorders, and we would talk about the time period that Asperger's hit the mainstream. Suddenly, everyone who wanted an excuse for their bad behavior and social ineptitude had Asperger's. It takes a lot of indepth testing to determine that you have Autism. You can't diagnose yourself, OR anyone else. Seems to me that all the people here who say they were dating or dealing with a sociopath need to examine why they love abusive people or liars. Just because you lie a lot doesn't mean you are a sociopath. And that you are bragging, or are out looking for a self-diagnosis to address feelings of alienation you have most likely means you aren't sociopathic.

Sociopaths, along with psychopaths are seriously disturbed, the likes of which, perhaps the boobs posting on here couldn't quite understand. I think what they should come out with is the mental health equivalent to hypochondria.

To anon10800-2 words-WALK AWAY!! I did, broke my heart and still healing....wished it could have been different...I wanted to be the ONE...not one of many! I wanted to help him, teach him what a caring relationship was like...show him a better life...he was unable to meet me even 1/2 way...I realized I deserved better! My situation was exactly like you described yours...

I've noticed that a few sociopaths have posted here. I am an author of several books, and I am just beginning a new one which touches on sociopathy. Consequently, I'd be very keen to ask a sociopath some questions, really about how they see the world.

Very best

Jon

I am a woman who happened to get sucked in by a sociopath. I fell in love with him, head over heels. It has taken some time for me to realize that all the kind words, all of the sweet talk, even down to him learning just how to make love to me in the right way...it was all for his own self-serving purposes. "If it seems too good to be true..." I guess that statement applied here.

I just want to know how to detach my heart from this situation. I love this man, but more than that, I thought we were best friends. I told him that we will not be seeing each other as lovers any more, but even as friends, he still seems to throw his abusive words at me. Do I just walk away from him, or is there something I can do to help him?

I am a sociopath. I did not ask to be this way. I believe it just happened.

I think people have veered from what a sociopath is:

Members of organised crime are sociopaths

Terrorists are sociopaths

Gang members are sociopaths

If you bunch yourself in with these people then your are mistaken. Sociopaths know the difference between right and wrong they just dont care. They prey on the weak (weaker than them anyway). What many of the people who call themselves sociopaths on here are people with antisocial personality disorder..there is a difference between that and sociopathy. True sociopaths justify violence and death their own way.

to anon10315. Your judgment is based hugely on geographies and outdated labels. This shows arrogance and stupidity mixed. A repulsive combination.

to anon10314. That's a good question. I think the violence comes from layers or waves of anger, and/or possibly confusion.

In some cases, I think the violence is first suppressed, and then as another wave of anger or confusion hits, some is released through violence or aggression. From frustration or fear of their own choices, more anger flows within (another layer or wave), making it too tempting to act out once again. After that, it's a test of one's own limit to stop themselves from acting violently or in other hurtful ways, rather than express in a more intelligent way.

I do not think emotional manipulations, passive aggressive attacks, or complex short or long range plans and webs are intelligent expressions. Deception at any level helps to create a hell for themselves and others...which can't be very intelligent, can it? Intelligence in the true sense embodies acceptance or attempt towards that, and equates to some sort of peace on varying levels.

I do think environment and other people can play a huge part in deceptive hurtful acts, but from my own experience genetics is most certainly at the root.

I honestly do not think I would have thought that, if I hadn't experienced family members who have many of the sociopath tendencies. I have seen people given similar (almost exactly the same) environments and repeatedly act out differently...some just don't feel or care to even consider what others may be feeling, and it seems we can't do anything to get them to care or have more empathy. People who cannot feel should not be classified as better or worse. However we need to be aware of the differences, and nobody deny what they see, feel or not feel.

...richness lies within differences.

"New South Whales"?

Are you kidding me?

You have to be American, only a Yank could be that dumb.

What can cause a sociopath to become violent? (Yes, I know that not all sociopaths are violent). How do sociopaths (at least the ones that aren't completely emotionless) experience their limited emotions on a day-to-day basis? What does it feel like?

In the above posts, I appreciate the connections made between Münchhausen's by Proxy, Parent Alienation Syndrome, and sociopath. I was amazed and to read that someone else had experienced similar combinations of situations. I would like to know more about those connections, if someone wouldn't mind sharing a source that would great.

I have found my ex husband's wife/step mom to my two daughters showing strong symptoms of the disorders I mentioned above. I think she gets enjoyment out of hurting. And I wonder about the difference between: enjoying hurting someone/s, or not caring about hurting others, but just do it to gain for personal self gains. Do the two motives to hurt overlap in people or are there clear cut preferences?

Just for the readers sake of perspective, I would say if there is a side, I would certainly fall on being more compassionate and caring. I wonder if sociopath is actually a different breed, devolved souls, perhaps. I only speculate, I don't judge. Being human, I guess we can't help but wonder. I have had to deal with many uncaring, extremely selfish people who hurt for fun, and for getting what they want. Below is just a snippet of what I have encountered. And why I am exploring the topic.

My ex husband and his wife both strangely pretend to be the heroes of my daughter's lives. Here is just one minor example among literally countless. One winter they bought the kids new winder coats. I thought this was nice...but they certainly didn't need new coats, they could have used a few other things though...I thought it strange they chose to get them new coats. But later learned that my ex and his wife were pretending that the girls didn't have coats before that, and that they, my ex and his new wife as usual (they pretended) had to get the girls the things like that because I didn't care to provide them with things like winter coats. They also have been bringing them to the doctor's many many times. My daughters are both sick of going to the doctors, and tell me they are afraid to go and hope they won't need surgery like they have been told they might. My ex and his wife don't always tell me they bring the girls to the doctor, but I always get the bill. Since I pay the insurance and medical bills I find out later. But they continue to bring them to the doctor's for minor things, and blame me for not being attentive or concerned enough to bring them or even be aware that they are sick or may need surgery. It's scary, but people like doctors seem to fall for this, even if they tell them they only have the flu or they do not need surgery at all.

Now here is what I won't tell anyone because I'm afraid I'll be labeled paranoid, (that's one of the things they call me if I question or defend myself). I fear their step mom might have poisoned them once or maybe will do it again to make them sick. I don't know if it's true or not. But sometimes the girls get severe abdominal pain when they are with them. They puke, get really bad cramps, and all sorts of other painful symptoms. Then the step mom brings them to the doctor. She'll tell the doctor that I, the real mom, doesn't do anything for them when they are sick, which is not true at all. The list goes on and on and on of what my ex and his new wife do. It involves the courts, doctors, attorneys, police, and even more professionals. It's a huge burden financially and draining to my life, not to mention my relationship with my daughters. I have had to really toughen up and I'm trying to get smart. That's why I'm on this blog. I have now finally began to research and learn as much as I can about this. But here are some questions I have but can't find any info on and would really appreciate people's perspectives or leads to sources that might have the info:

1)What happens when sociopaths or the like, live together or become close? (do they hurt each other or team up, what is the inner relationship of two people or more that know they don't care or like to hurt others? do they openly admit their wanting to gain just for themselves? Are two sociopaths together more dangerous, what happens when they don't get what they want from the other...and they know that the other won't care about much...and try to hurt them? Is it a game of out smarting each other to ruins? Some how I don't think that's it, but I certainly wonder.

What happens if sociopaths or the like, upset each other in fairly distant connections?

I agree with the poster that says quit rescuing the people that say they may be sociopath. This is an opportunity for them to look at themselves & maybe get help. I married a psychopath/sociopath. He needs help. I still love the guy but we aren't together anymore..he's afraid of commitment, lies, manipulates, is very smart but low social IQ... I hope he gets help. He won't change without it.

Do sociopaths & psychopaths know that there is something wrong with them? _sure they do_ but they don't always admit it.. same as most with mental problems & before seeking help... please don't rescue people but allow them to talk about what they believe they are suffering. No we can't diagnose here, we can support & encourage them to get help. I love/d my husband, he was a great guy... but he is _sick_. He needs help & I hope he gets it. It's sad because he screws everything up and if he would stop & get some help those that do care about him... could make a difference.

I hope those here that think they may be sociopath get some help. Cause it's a waste of a good person not to. I believe anyone can change but some people do need treatment ... I adored my husband... but he's scared... & keeps running. There's always hope, please seek help if you need it!

As part of healing process - Suspect old girlfriend sociopath. Desire accurate diagnosis.

Here are the sociopath traits:

Adept liar.

History of inability to form meaningful relationships.

Inability to take responsibility for behavior.

Superficially charming.

Secretive.

No signs of guilt.

See self as victim.

Here's her opposite traits opposite of a sociopath:

VERY steady employment.

Responsible professionally.

No stealing. Treats friends well.

Here's other personality traits and info:

Excessive working out.

History of eating disorder.

Steel trap mind for detail.

Pursued obsessively me for years only to disappear when successful.

Commitment-phobic.

Father abandoned family when she was 11.

Maybe she's just a sociopath with an eating disorder? I tried to help. Recommend others not to try. Thanks for diagnosis!

I am a sociopath and have lied and treated other wrongly and am going to hell for my sins.

Anon1819 -- You wrote: "She is in constant need to control, becomes very verbally mean and abusive..then has no remorse or even recognizes that she has cause pain. She finds ways of bringing up my conditions to hurt me, as if to mock or put me down. She will never admit or even consider the possibility that she is doing anything wrong." My advice: get out stat. You are now in it, and really, there is one way out. leave. period. don't look back. just the few sentences you wrote here, scared me. my ex-wife had these same "symptoms"....and soon came the violence...and the lack of empathy. Dude, you're being abused and you need to get out. She will never say she's sorry because in her mind, she actually believes that she has done absolutly nothing wrong, trust me, she firmly believes that all this is your fault, and therefore has no need to say sorry. get out as fast as you can. find someone who'll respect you and what you've been through. get out my friend, it'll hurt doing it, but not nearly as bad if you stay.

Anon1339 -- While I respect your conclusions that you will not jump to the term sociopath without ample evidence, I have to say that, in your schoolings you will notice that this type of "education" takes time to learn. I think if you read all the comments here, or elsewhere, you'll find that 99.99% of people who share their experience have one thing in common, they were all manipulated into a much larger picture, only to be used as a tool. By then, it was too late...they were "in it". I can attest to this first hand. I have 9 years of higher education. While I'm no psychologist, or PhD, I am not stupid, for even "I" was manipulated into the conning world of a sociopath. The Term " Bi-polar" is way too "garden variety" for people like this...and after three years of being with this person, I have narrowed it down to "sociopath". It was only after we got married that the true "sociopath" show up. By then, I was "in it". All the signs and symptoms didn't show up until after we got married...I didn't become a husband, I became a victim. After the true sociopath showed up, all the signs and symptoms were there.....and I mean all!! For me it comes down to personality traits and being open minded to let things sink in before I jump to conclusions, to figure things out properly, that's because I have a 'conscience'. While sociopathy may be rare, it's is true that "they" are out there. And in your pool, or your crop, you may find yourself with one...and not even realize it until it's too late. It's a very unfortunate reality but sometimes, the best education in life, is life itself.

My boyfriend was just diagnosed as a sociopath and I am confused by what this. This as well as other websites say things like they lie and use people and can't love and care but he's not like that. He is genuinely kind to people close to him, he is an animal rights activist does a lot of volunteer work, after awhile being together (though i've known him for 9 years or so) he told me he loved me, i believe him as he has morals and he has not used me for anything i've offered to pay fee's when dating and he is very old fashioned in the sense that he wants to treat me, we've not been intimate he wants to wait until "right" hes very caring for my needs as I have social anxiety hes constantly asking me if i'm ok or how i'm feeling and consults me before putting me in social situations. He's very honest about his other mental conditions and tries his best to make me aware of what i'm getting into with him. Even stuff he is not proud of and he has come to tears explaining some of the stuff hes done in his past and he is very sympathetic to everything from humans to strangers to animals he wont even kill a bug in the house. Is there different degrees of this disorder because the only thing i've seen is when he gets really angry about something (with a good reason) he tends to want to do things that are illegal as in hurting people but its not a rage like he wants to harm everyone around him its directed at the person/thing that caused it. Is it possible it's just mild or perhaps he is misdiagnosed? Sorry for the novel but this is very important to me and my future.

avoid the sociopath. you can try to play their games back on them, but due to their distrusting nature and the fact that you're not a sociopath and don't have the same knack for manipulation, no matter how intelligent you are, there is no winning. also realize that other disorders such as borderline have very similar symptoms, and some people suffer from both disorders. don't confront them - they'll only shut you out.

anon974

Why do you think you're a sociopath? Read the book The Sociopath Next Door by Marh Stout, phd....this should give you some insight.

I have dealt with a suspect sociopath in my workplace. This individual had all the major symptoms including being grandiose, faking emotions, bragging of their accomplishments, lacking empathy towards coworkers, being manipulative, aggressive behavior, avoiding personal questions, and backstabbing coworkers through intimidation or snitching. They created a negative workplace environment.

Although I'm no psychologist, my personal experience would point to three ways in dealing with sociopaths.

1. Avoidance - do not allow them an opportunity to take advantage.

2. Countermanipulation - Manipulate them before they manipulate you. Appear to be their friend, or get in their good graces. Use their lack of emotions to play on them in order to keep tabs on them. The best offense is sometimes a good defense; or does that now make you a sociopath?

3. Confront them. Since sociopaths lack emotion or empathy they are hedonists who only understand reward and punishment. Let them know that you are aware of what they are doing and prepared to pursue actions against them. Do not get into an argument with a sociopath since they will deny any wrongdoing. Just let them know you will counterattack if attacked. Be careful as sociopaths are conscienceless and won't think twice about hurting you out of self-preservation!

I'm concerned that I was involved with these types of individuals in the past and possibly even raised by some of them. Unfortunately, it sounds like we might all have sociopathic tendencies. I think empathy is a learned behavior for the most part and someone who doesn't have a severe case of sociopathy can learn this. I think if all society were to fall into utter turmoil, many people would become sociopathic. But in the meantime, I'm going to make sure I steer clear from anyone else like this because once you've been exposed to them, they are all the same and it's easy to point them out. They are very destructive and deceptive. It sounds like the common denominator among these individuals is their charm. In the future don't be stupid enough to fall for their charm and wit... charm and wit almost always act a shield for some sort of hidden insecurity. Question it... nothing can ever be that good for a long period of time... why should a normal person feel empathy for someone like this...the favor would never be repaid...

I think I am a sociopath. What can I do to get help?

My comparison of a Sociopath to a conscience bearing person, it like that of a shark in a bait filled tank. Sharks never stop moving, always focused on their next "prey", their eyes cold & dark without a flicker of emotion...the sense of their presence sends a panic throughout.....

How can you help people that have this? Is it even possible for them to change after a long period of time? Please help me.. I'll take any advice, I'll check for it. I've been in love with someone that I think has this for 8 years and things are getting worse all the time, I need advice, I think the people that post in here might actually understand. I won't walk away from this person.. I can't. Please help me.. Isn't there anything anyone can do to help them?

My name is Crystal Lee. Please respond.

Thank you.

I have started dating one girl some 5 months ago, and it seems I see most of the symptoms of a sociopath in her. My question is: shall I talk to her that I think she has this sickness? (Though I am sure she knows what she has, but I just want to let her know that I am aware of this fact, and that she should seek help)

I came upon this site looking for understanding of my 35 year old daughter. when she was 16 a psychiatrist asked if i understood her diagnosis and proceeded to explain my daughter had no conscience. over the years i have been "burned" repeatedly by her. the manipulation, exploitation!! unfortunately she has an 11 year old son that i have literally raised. he is a good kid with good values. he is the "carrot". i worry about him as she is so clever with her twists on the truth. if it were not for him i could easily shut her out of my life. the destruction of our family - the price her sisters have had to "pay" is beyond belief. I am in therapy at age 61 and on lexapro. I draw strength from reading websites on sociopaths. they tell me i'm not crazy. she needs help. I will keep reading and drawing strength from others. thank you.

I have been "dating" a sociopath for a year now. Every description I have read fits him to a "tee." I have been hurt, embarrassed, taunted, and shamed by his thinly veiled lies and cover ups involving his insatiable pursuits and conquests of other unsuspecting women. I am not sure how many there are..and he is is also married...and doing this to his wife..who I believe is mentally suffering anxiety & panic attacks as a result of his actions...in fact, the entire family is dysfunctional. This I also believe stems from his actions. In his world, it's all about him...I have tried to be a caring friend..only to be callously rebuked & pushed away...I have tried to pull back & "exit" quietly, but keep getting pulled back in. He knows I am on to him and could cause him some serious problems..I am not about all of that...I just want to spare another "victim" the heartache I have endured. I truly care about his well being..and wish he could one day experience true joy, happiness, love & caring..that for the majority of us is a given.

I have been married for 20 years and my husband has been diagnosed now as a sociopath. I'm so relieved there is an explanation and I'm not imagining things. My prayers go out to all of those living with sociopaths. You cannot understand it until you've lived with it. May God help us.

I am a sociopath, i know i use people for my own gain, i lie i steal i manipulate. I'm vindictive, incredibly vengeful and competitive, not really violent but i destroy other peoples things just to see them suffer. I hate myself for it at times, sometimes it makes me sick to think that at 15 i'm a freak. But sometimes i'm proud of myself for being so cunning and in control.

Hell why feel bad about myself my personality isn't gunna change is it.

wow. so i was just looking up Dennis Radar aka the BTK killer for a class paper I have to write about and in the article that I was reading it said that he is a sociopath. I had no idea what that means. and after reading the definition above- I still dont understand what it means. But by reading some of the peoples comments I realized that a sociopath is just someone who is just selfish and doesn't give a crap about anyone else but themselves. It's not a "personality disorder". It's what society is coming to. No one cares about anyone else and they and heartless and careless people.

I'm 23 and a true sociopath. On top of that I am a mimic, i mimic what I see from others to try and fit in and look normal, because if people know who I really am, which only one person in my life truly knows, they treat you different.

I have no feelings whatsoever. I am married and feel nothing for my wife. At age 5 I started torturing and killing animals. It started out as small ones and then got to be bigger ones. I have thoughts about killing but never have acted upon them. I dont worry about dying, I love pain, and to actually feel something I resort to cutting. I have no remorse, regret, sympathy, or empathy. I fake every emotion that I show...love, care, sympathy is harder because those I try to show it to can see right through me and know I'm a fake. I lie constantly. I am constantly bored. I'm conceited and usually only think of myself. I consider myself to be quite an intellectual.

I am sadistic and love causing other to feel pain, not necessarily physical but emotional pain, just to see their reaction to it. When I was 8, I had made the decision to be a professional soldier, "Mercenary." I figured it would be the perfect career seeing as that i'm cut off from emotions. A physical problem kept me from it.

I am compulsive when it comes to being clean and everything has to be in its own place. I dont know what makes us this way, most days I love it, there are no worries, but other days, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to feel something.

I am a 24-year-old male, and I've been feeling like something has been wrong with me for years. I read about sociopaths, and I do believe that I may be one.

I come from a good family. My parents are still together and well. I've never been violent, nor have I been in trouble with the law. But, during the time I was 17-19, I was terrible to an ex-girlfriend. Although I loved her with everything I had, I destroyed that girl emotionally with lies, betrayal, deceit, and guilt. She came back to me every time, because of my charm and empty promises. Every relationship since then has been a copy, but as a copy, not as sharp as the original.

Before I joined the Armed Forces, I was always blaming others for my mistakes and shortcomings, from dropping out of school to not holding a job.

I've never been good at keeping friends, and the friends I do have now, have been putting up with me since I was a little kid. The past few years they've noticed a big change.

I am married now to another service member. We love each other very much, and we have a great relationship. I have tried to tell her I feel like I have a problem that I need to address, but she keeps telling me that I'm fine and not to worry about it. I have never said nor done anything to hurt her, unlike my previous relationships. I know that even though I'm doing much better now, that I still need help. I still feel empty inside and have repressed feelings that I do not understand. I do not want them to interfere with my life nor my relationships with others. Also, I understand that although my symptoms of sociopathy do not seem extreme, they are still present.

The first step for me was to admit that I do have a problem. This site, among many others, helped me realize that I do have a problem that needs professional help. My only regret is that I wish I would have received it sooner. Side Note -> Maybe the fact that all this time, knowing that I have a problem along with self-discipline, has lead me to somehow make myself better than I was before?

I admit that honestly I am a sociopath and quite frankly I'm happy with who and what I am. I'm a sociopath. I am being completely honest when I say this. I'll agree that yes, I lie compulsively and I do "charm" with a fake facade perhaps for selfish reasons and Yes I do feel a utter lack of empathy. However just because I couldn't care less about people doesn't make me a danger to others. In fact Behaviorally, I lie frequently and well, and for no particular reason other than self-gratification. I'm clever, and manipulative. I've never been able to really learn from my actions or experience more than trivial or transient guilt, which coupled with my lack of responsibility/reliability has impeded my success in a scholastic environment. I engage in few to no serious criminal activities on a regular basis, but that's mainly because the risks are generally serious and pervasive in my current location and status, but when I do it's extremely competently, and without regret. I know that I am considered even by my best friend to be considered mentally unstable, I just don't care. I have never really understood most of the emotions that other people describe on a regular basis and I do have a very hallow range of emotions.

Im a Sociopath....and I like it....I just live my life how I want and do what I want....Im number 1. The rest of you can all burn as far as in concerned. And it's not as cut and dry as you make it seem..I do care for certain people, if only in my own way, but it's still caring. And im not into hurting animals or any stupid stuff like that...As far as emotions go, it's not so much That I dont have any...it's just that I can bypass them and do what what I want regardless of them...I can feel love, or a form of it...but I still come first and can shut it off if I want...And I can feel guilt or shame..just not very much of it, not enough of it to matter anyhow...get your facts straight people....Not all sociopaths are the same-no cookie cutter person here-just like not all sheep, oops, I meant "normal" people are the same. Everybody is so quick to generalize and put an all purpose label on everything....You just wish that you where like me.

I grew up with a sociopath sister. I always knew something was strange about her, but I never had a label for it. I was a pawn to her, as well as most of my family. She admits to being thrilled about lying and stealing.

I may be alone on this issue, but I do think that sociopaths have guilt. Reading in between the lines of self-proclaimed sociopaths above, you can see that. And if you diagnose it as a medical problem, it can never be fixed. A conscience is a spiritual thing. I believe that a sociopath is someone who continues to lie/steal/etc. because it's their weakness (just like a drug abuser can't stay away from drugs). That with all the continual lying and stealing and possibly killing, etc, these people are pushing their consciences farther away. It has to be fixable. It would probably just take a lot of time and patience, just like it would take a lot for an alcoholic to give up alcohol.

I am 15 years old, male and i am confused whether or not I am a sociopath. I have many of the symptoms above except the only thing is I care a lot about people that are close to me, a few people have told me that I may be a sociopath but I never thought anything about it cause I know one and dont think i compare to that person much. I realize a lot of things that most don't but this I am confused about.

I recently starting seeing a man who I thought was the greatest catch ever. Last month a lady called me to say she had been seeing him since August (I had started seeing him in November). We began sharing stories and timelines. Everything she said made perfect sense. He owned his own business and would tell me he was working. He was actually seeing her. In our discussions we began noticing patterns of behavior. Someone mentioned to her that she thought he was a sociopath. He lies about everything, very charming and manipulative, dates several people at once, plays on peoples sympathy, has had several different jobs, is irresponsible with his money and makes promises that he doesn't intend to keep. I am so grateful that I got out now! Just remember, if they seem too good to be true, they usually are!

I have a sociopathic ex , who has ruined my life and scarred my daughter. can we seriously start naming names, because this guy doesn't care if he passed diseases on, he lies, cheats, steals, made up his whole life which was crap, pretended he was with me for 4 yrs when really he was sleeping with other guys, hookers, transsexuals behind my back with no protection. i have never met someone so outrageously disgusting and disrespectful of somebodies rights than this guy . May some horrible fate befall these low life creatures of society .

from . never trust again

a sociopath is created by environmental factors and these include

and mostly males

- if the mother is soft and father is stern and child manipulates the mother which creates sociopath

- growing up in violent environment, abused as child plays major role creating sociopath

- if have siblings who are growing abused or teaching you bad things it's possible that sociopath can come up

sociopaths have extremely high intelligence they are usually introverted

I believe I am a sociopath. From a very early age I lied. I never liked who I was so I always invented new people for me to be hoping it would make me feel better. It never did. I changed my names often, lied about my background, always wanting to be someone that others could look up to. Because I am not clever enough to fake credentials I cant find a job that is good enough for me and I refuse to do menial paying retail or service jobs. They are beneath me in my honest opinion. So I keep trying to find a man who will take care of me. I dont want to work outside the home, I cant stand the idea of it. I just want to be taken care of and do what I want. I am not cruel to animals or violent or abusive. I am good to my current partner and he is very happy with me. I will pretend and fake being sick or whatnot to have him do things for me which he lovingly and willingly does. I use my fake illnesses to get out of having to work. I have a child, and yes Im a good mother. I teach him right from wrong, I teach him respect for others, I play with him and take care of him very well. I dont want him to grow up like I did. I encourage him to be more then he thinks he can be. I dont know what that is like since my parents just said that since I was female I was useless for anything except being a wife and mother. That I was dumb and less then a person. The way my life has been lived they were right, so I make due. I hope I soon find a man with more money so we can live more comfortably. I deserve more then living from one small cheque to another no matter how loving my current partner is. Not all of us are murderers or evil. Some of us just deserve a good life and do what we have to to get it.

Wow. Now I know what I am. I have known from an early age that I was different, but I didn't know why, or what the problem was.

It amazes me sometimes at the ease with which I can lie - and not feel any emotion what-so-ever. It amazes me even more, how easily others believe what I say. Strange thing is, I don't really need to lie at all. I just do. It just comes out.

I just cannot attach myself to anyone. Not that I don't want to - it just does NOT happen. Here today, gone tomorrow, and it doesn't bother me a bit. I see other people keep friends their whole life, spouses, too. And I wonder why that I can't do the same. It's hard to explain. I just can't.

I guess it all goes back to that feeling of being on the outside looking in - detached, removed.

I already know going into any kind of relationship, that it is temporary at best - so it doesn't really matter to me that I am manipulative or if I lie. When it's time to move on, I just go. I don't really care what someone thinks of me after I am gone, ya know ? And yes, almost every single relationship in my whole life, had been one where I needed it to get something else. And if I don't see a benefit from a potential relationship, I don't get involved.

I do, however, take my job very seriously, and I have had the same one for years. I love what I do. I find it odd, that in my job, I cannot lie or manipulate or be irresponible. It is a very black and white position. BUT .. the people that it introduces me to - is awesome ! It's as if my job is a means to an end. I can weed out those who may have something to offer me in the future, so I just put that info on file for another day. And everyone thinks I am so nice and charming - they can't help but want to help me out when I ask.

I am a chameleon. I can blend into any situation effortlessly. I have an innate ability to size up people in moments. I see their strenghths - and weaknesses. I know who can benefit me - and who to stay away from. Police Officers, Doctors, Attorneys .. even a Judge .. would all vouch for what a wonderful person I am. If they only knew ...

Know what the weird part is ? I don't want to be this way. I would like to be normal - whatever that is. I just don't know how. And when I make a conscious effort to try - I fail. So I go right back to doing what I do best. Back in my comfort zone.

I know that my mother was the same way. She can deny it, but for some reason, I think sociopaths can most easily recognize another of their own kind better than anyone. And I see the same beginnings in my son. Is this inherited or learned behavior ? Both myself and my son, are the oldest child, and my mother was an only child. Interesting.

I'm friends with a sociopath. This article is interesting, Now what the first guy said is true. The thing is that these are characteristics of disorder, so not all of them apply to everyone. Each case is different, that's how it is with all disorders, mental or physical. I guess that's what I take into consideration when I read anything about any medical or Psychological problems.

Is thinking murder is gross the same as thinking murder is wrong?

just finished reading this article and finally, i have a name for the disorder i believe my "friend" jim has. I thought Jim was just a lying drug addict, but he has every one of the symptoms described. For some reason, Jim latched on to me about 2 years ago, and that's when my nightmare began..He owns a sub shop and i lived in the apartment directly above it..He came over 1 day asking me if i had any prescription pain killers he could buy off me. He gave me the story about how his prescription for vicodin was backordered and really needed something for pain.. I offered him some tylenol and he became angry with me that i was minimizing his pain. I left the room for a moment, when i returned, i caught him stealing my depression medication. I counted my pills and discovered he had stolen 3 weeks worth of pills..without my medication, of course, i fell into a deep depression and missed 7 days of work. When i told him about it, his response was, so what you didn't have your meds, all depression is is a pity party you have with yourself, get over it and get yourself to work..I became angry at his total lack of compassion for what he did and told him we were no longer friends. that's when the nightmare really began...Because i ended the friendship, he started harassing me. calling me on the phone at all hours, sending me abusive and threatening emails. Threatening to break into my apt when i was at work to kill my cats. I went to the police and they told him to leave me alone. Jim retaliated against me by calling my boss and telling her i was doing drugs and needed to be drug tested. when she refused to drug test me, he called police and reported me for being a drug dealer claiming the traffic to my apt was causing problems with his business. My "druggie" friends were taking up all the parking spaces. He then contacted my landlord and told him i was dealing too and I was almost evicted over it...after all was said and done, he calls me, acting like nothing happened and asked me if i wanted to go with him to a high school football game. I'm 48 and he's 43, why would i be interested in a high school football game..I have called his wife on several occasions, pleading with her to make jim leave me alone and get him some help, she said there's nothing she can do to stop him. She's had him in treatment but says it made things worse. Jim claims to have been sexually abused by his mother but i don't believe him. His actions are those of a spoiled rotten kid who has to have his way at all costs and will sink to any level to get his way. He's abusive verbally, lies constantly, retaliates and gets even when he thinks you're attacking him. I finally moved away, hoping that would make him leave me alone. No such luck, he found me. he comes to my house at 3 am hollering and screaming to let him in. I try hard to not give in to his manipulations but he doesn't let up until he gets his way. we have spent hours "fighting" until i'm worn out and submit. then this look of satisfaction comes across his face and he acts like nothing happened. He told me he was going to counseling but i found out he was lying about that too. I told his wife i would have him arrested if he didn't leave me alone but she cried and tells me if i do that, jim will go to jail for 3 years because he is on probation for breaking into a home and stealing prescription drugs. His wife is an enabler. so is his business partner. In the long run, so am I because i give in due to utter frustration. I am at my wits end. I emailed him this article and several others about sociopathic behavior. I know when i get home from work, there will be an email from him threatening me. He doesn't have a problem, everyone else has the problem. he is just misunderstood and nobody cares about him. He uses the pity party mode of operation when bullying and manipulation doesn't work. I've only lived in my new apt for 1 1/2 months. I signed a 1 year lease so i feel doomed for the next year. I think my only hope is to move out of town. He lost his drivers license due to 2 DUI's, so if i move out of town, he can't get to me. but that's a year from now. I think jail is the only thing that will work for Jim. at least in jail, he can't manipulate and bully people into an early release. I read sociopaths rarely seek treatment because they feel they don't have a problem, it's other people who have the problem. It's a sad thing, he has 3 young sons. Luckily for me, my son is grown and doesn't live with me. I'd hate to have my son traumatized by Jim. theres nothing I can do but try to survive another year and then move. I hope i make it..

Quite a few people labeled as "Sociopaths" responded to this post. I found it strangely ironic that many of these people felt it was necessary to justify themselves (i.e., how proud they are of being classified as a Sociopath, how well they can hold a job despite the stereotype) in the process of "Commenting the Post". Throughout the text, justification and excuses is illustrated repeatedly as a behavioral characteristic of a Sociopath. Humans are so intriguing.

I'm 15 years old, last year I was informed that I was teetering on the brink of "Anti-Social Insanity". Accordingly, I wasn't diagnosed as being a Sociopath because I'm not old enough. Nevertheless my behavior was closely monitored and I began an extensive program targeted to counter Sociopathic tendencies and thoughts. And the mind-mapping began; several psychologists interviewed me because my situation was such a phenomena.

My best friend and I were triggers for each other, in the presence of one another we became a sort of Super-Sociopath. When studied alone, we were moderately functioning beings of society. Apparently our relationship isn't seen often. When asked questions about the "us" part, one would answer with a 'We...' and answer the question as though it were one person.

Anyway, through psychotherapy and "Changing How Your Brain Thinks" exercises, we've become a functioning person. I mean two functioning people. Hahahaha. Or have we?

As someone who recognizes to a significant degree perhaps 5 of the 7 clinical signs of dis-social personality disorder as defined by the WHO in myself, reconciling the body of work on sociopaths with my own internal state is...interesting.

While I am capable of caring about other people, it is not my default condition - I make a conscious choice to be attached to them, and even so feel little empathy for them. People are implicitly objects, and I become physically ill when I attempt to actually put myself in their shoes, as it were. It is also a choice I find easy to redact - a minor effort of will removes any interest or attachment in a given individual's life or feelings. If necessary, there isn't a person in the world I couldn't kill in cold blood.

Behaviorally, I lie frequently and well, and for no particular reason other than self-gratification. I'm charming, clever, and manipulative. I've never been able to really learn from my actions or experience more than trivial or transient guilt, which coupled with my lack of responsibility/reliability has impeded my success in a scholastic environment. I engage in few to no serious criminal activities on a regular basis, but that's mainly because the risks are generally serious and pervasive in my current location and status, but when I do it's readily, competently, and without regret.

Does this make me dangerous? I'm not sure. I know, intellectually, that I should care, and that that the fact that I do not is potential evidence for the true answer to the question. But, while "psychological research" pinpoints this as a "disorder" that makes a threat to "society", I'm not convinced this is an actual problem for me, or for others, or at least for others who matter.

Society doesn't exist, anyway.

I am being manipulated by a sociopath, he entered our lives and appeared quiet, charming, affable but underneath he is cold, unfeeling, thinks only of himself and is now lying and taking me to court, he thinks nothing of defrauding and is totally plausible. He thinks that he has been wronged, but he is the one who has done wrong but is affronted that anyone dares challenge his egocentric self importance. I am frightened of what else he is capable of, nothing phases him and he has no feeling for anything but himself. I don't know what to do and know he will not leave this as he had said that if someone does something against him, he can wait years to pay them back and always does. I know that this is true. He is detached and nothing that is said to him will make any difference, he does what he wants how he wants without any thought for anybody or anything. Can anybody advise me

Can a sociopaths admit that they are sociopaths?

Hi,

If the above explanation is correct, then I too have a brother-in-law who is a sociopath. He has never been part of our family's life, but suddenly he feels he should be. We refuse to see him. Then he asked to just see our children from time to time. We refused again. Then, recently, he made an application (as the paternal uncle) to the UK Courts for the right to see and have contact with the children (age 8 & 11). He was granted the right to make this application. My husband and I don't know what to do. We have NO way of stopping him and feel betrayed by the system. Does anyone know how to stop a sociopath like my brother-in-law from his constant harassments?

I am a sociopath. Not all evil people are sociopaths, but not all sociopaths are evil either, what makes the person is there ability to act on what's right, rather then what's wrong, being anti-social and narcissistic don't cause you to be evil, neither does a potent superiority-complex, they simply seclude you from society, they don't turn you against it.

I'm not evil, in fact i help a lot of people, and i find that living outside of the emotions of others gives me better insight into there lives, as they are driven by the conscious mind, they are chained by their paranoia and inhibitions which are placed irrationally or out of lack of knowledge, through self exploration i've come to understand what causes these "Quirks" in a person, and can use that information to help those people.. Again, i am a sociopath. So a little food for thought, yes, perhaps we don't share your emotions, and we feel no empathy for you, but we do it because we see your deluded misguidance as faulty, (Which it is) and as such we have more room for stepping outside the "Common boundaries" of your reality.. That doesn't make us evil, it simply means we have choice, we are not forced to conform by your standards simply because the government or peer pressure says it is right, we seek within ourselves our own answer.

We are not all evil.. i guarantee if there's a heaven, if it really exists, i'll be going there, whether i believe in god or not, because i lived the life of a saint, and i cant say i've seen many other sociopaths do anything more then look to help themselves out, they generally do not seek to harm others.. you're stereotyping us as evil, such as hitler stereotyped the jews as worthless filth.

I've been dating this guy for about 8 months, our relationship has never been smooth from the beginning. Most of my friends dislike him as he's not that friendly towards them & he has a serious drink & drug problem. I guess he's charmed his way into me falling in love with him. Last Sunday he told me that he has been diagnosed as being a Sociopath... since then I have been reading up on it & have been quite scared by what I have read... seeing as they do mostly relate to him & his behaviour.

What I want to know is, what can be done about this? Is it a condition that can be cured?

thanks

i would like to see more responses to the questions people are posting

I think i`m a sociopath i noticed it when i was about twelve years old. When i was watching a tv show with my friend there was this guy who was a serial killer he killed people and my friend said then that it was disgusting what the serial killer did. i didn't feel anything and i just said that he was right i was lying because i didn't care about any other people even my friends. i don't feel anything even if i hurt or steal from another people i just don't feel a thing.

what a positive comment in an otherwise depressing and dark collection of posts! sociopaths are by nature extremely self centered, and serving others is always beneficial to both the person being served, as well as the person serving.

I would like to respond to some of the posts by professed sociopaths. I just read the book "The Sociopath Next Door". In it, Dr. Stout claims over and over again that sociopaths are devoid of any conscience. I find this "black and white" mindset to be untenable. Those of you who admit that you might be sociopathic and show remorse that you have difficulty forming close relationships with people are demonstrating that you do in fact have a conscience. While your consciences may be seared or blunted, you nevertheless have some feeling of doing good for the sake of doing good. My advice to anyone who wants help is to turn to God by finding some acts of service, however small, and do them for others. You can start with simply smiling at someone and complimenting them on something. I've found in my life that the key to loving people is to serve them.

I was raised by a true sociopath. My mother, while never having done violence to anyone but 'me' kills by damaging souls.

I am her whistle-blower. Luckily she is not intelligent enough to scrape by my radar. She has learned how to manipulate me by using my whistle-blowing nature to create the right environment to become the 'victim.'

For example:

My older sister has been happily married for most of her 13 year relationship. Her husband is in public office, is a fantastic man, and role model for his community.

My sister began having headaches, which she eventually claimed turned into migraines. She began taking medication that is highly addictive, and very expensive. When they could no longer afford to buy the medication, my sister went online for narcotics.

After a 50+ pill per day habit, her husband started putting 2+2 together. He demanded that she go to rehab, and never take another narcotic medication again.

When dear ole mom got involved, she began telling my sister that her husband was going to leave her; essentially with nothing. She managed to manipulate my sister to come to her home in another state to pull her head together. Meanwhile she got another man to come meet her daughter...

Fragile, my sister agreed, and now she is heavily embroiled in an affair.

I knew immediately that something was wrong, because my sister gave me a few clues. My daughter loves my brother-in-law, so she tried to warn him that something bad was happening. She told him what she knew, and he let all that information out during marriage counseling.

Some of you might not see my point, so please read further.

My mother doesn't care about or even love any of her daughters; there are 3 of us. She is attracted my oldest sister because she is weak, and tends to fall into her schemes of manipulation. Our mother is a heavy alcoholic, and has been so for 30 years. She has been married 8 times, and has never loved any of them; she only sees them as a potential for a comfortable living, and half a divorce settlement.

Our mother is currently married to a vietnam war veteran, and former marine. She married him for his pension, and she cheats on his quite regularly. She tells him that he's crazy, and recently she forced him to get psychotherapy and take psychotic medications because their problems were his fault. This guy, by the way, just had a quadruple bypass, and is not in good health. She also told him that he needed to get out of the house for at least 8 hours a day so that she can have her space.

My mother's main interest in my sister, at this moment, is to have her move closer to her. She doesn't care that she will have devastated 2 young children, and a most loving son-in-law. My sister is very beautiful, and my mother treats her like a trophy of her own personal accomplishment. My mother looks like an old hag, after all the years spent drinking and smoking heavily.

My mother purposefully causes havoc on the relationships we 3 sisters have created for ourselves. It took us 30 years to be able to trust each other, because of all the years my mother has spent lying to us; separately of course. When we finally got ourselves straightened out, she started attacking me to get me out of her way, and the way of my older sisters ear.

My role in her most recent manipulation was to alert my brother-in-law about my sister's infidelity. My sister is a lot like my mother, but she was making great strides. After I was to alert my brother-in-law, they were going to use me as the reason the marriage didn't work out. Oh, she lied to you, and now you're too paranoid for our marriage to survive...

Needless to say, I have closed the door on both of them. I have no more room in my life for manipulation and lies. I can't deal with this crap anymore. I don't want to be involved with their secret plan, and I don't want to be there to pick up the fragments when it blows up in their faces! Believe me, it will!

There is a really nice lady who works for an american legion, as a cleaning lady, and had been there performing this job for 10 years. Her husband manages the bar. Recently my mother called this wonderful lady and told her that she had taken her job, and that she was no longer needed to clean the legion. To add insult to injury, my mother also told her that she demanded more money per hour and got it.

The woman was devastated, and so convinced that this was real that she didn't even intend to fight for her job. So, when her husband returned from a medical vacation, he confronted the post commander about his wife being fired, and the way it was handled. The post commander was in complete shock, he had never heard anything about this, and did not agree to relieve his wife from her job.

My mother tried to manipulate this poor woman into alienating her job, so that she could have it. If this woman's husband hadn't said a word, my mothers plan would have been successful. My mothers intention was to have the job open up, and to make her husband do the job, so that she could have the money to play with, while he was out of her way.

If anyone reading this is a sociopath, do yourself a favor, don't have kids. We will encumber you, and we will totally screw you over when we are older. We will despise you, and we will ruin your future schemes to hurt others. We will not come to your funeral, and we will not allow you to visit your grandchildren either. You will end up with no one else to scam and defraud, and you will be on the street. When all the years of drug and alcohol abuse sets in, by way of dementia, god help you... I have no mercy left, no forgiveness in me.

My mother isn't welcome in my home, because she will ultimately put my husband in a position in her game of sexual seduction. It is not safe for her in my home. I will hurt her.

Fatalist

I am a sociopathic. I was diagnosed at the age of 18, but it was suspected long before. I have been to countless shrinks looking for help before realizing that there is no help. I have accepted that this is my life and i'm not going to spend it looking for something that does not exist. I am now 25 years old and have never had a relationship longer than three months. I have a lot of 'friends' but could drop them like a hat and not care. Some say it is a disease but it may just possibly be a gift. you are exempt from the burdens of love, loyalty, and society. There is only one thing i don't understand, i do not lie. i manipulate by punching holes in the truth to give the essence of reasonable doubt but i absolutely hate to lie. In the twenty five years on this planet i have done nothing worth talking about unless drinking and using drugs count. This is not the life i would have chosen but i'm here with no say in the matter, so let the games begin.

Hello, I'm going to be turning 17 soon and am myself a sociopathic though I don't believe that using the term is an excuse for others to do whatever they wish. It's true that I don't really give a damn about anyone. The most I really want is to be left alone. Yes, I lie if the truth is more troublesome, because I want to be left alone! I'm perfectly fine having no 'real friends' or not speaking with my family.

I have a temper, and I know I can go into rages and hurt people IF i so wished to do so. However, I do not. Why? Because I'm not stupid, that's why! Those criminals you all describe as sociopaths are just that- criminals. I don't believe being labeled a so-called sociopathic has anything to do with it. They are scum. Criminals are criminals BECAUSE they are stupid! That's why they live their life the way they do. If you know someone who does the horrible things that are being noted above then they are a horrible person. However, them being a sociopath is no excuse for their actions.

Being a sociopath is not a 'reason' for manipulating, or hurting others. I myself am one and I keep myself under control because my parents (though I have no real feelings for them either way) raised a disciplined child. No, not disciplined as in they struck me. I would've killed them if they ever hurt me. They simply treated me as an equal. They didn't look down on me simply because I was a child, or speak to me in a condescending tone. They spoke and acted to me as an equal, and for that I respected them.

I have urges to be violent to others occasionally and because of that I keep a watchful eye on what I do and say in front of others. Growing up I've met many manipulative people who sound as you do. And know what? I didn't take any crap from anyone. Granted, I dislike INTENSELY authoritative figures, mostly because they seem to think that their position in society gives them a free pass to my personal life and otherwise not minding their own business.

I myself have no real life plan but I will not mooch off of others as the ones described above, these parasites you describe disgust me. I have my pride and I will not manipulate others and live off of their table scraps that I get by manipulating the table cloth to make it fall down. I shall make my choices, walk my own path, and whether I rise or fall is my business, fault, or gain. Not anyone else's!

Whew, I've had to get that off my chest for a while now. While I don't believe anything to be 'wrong' with me (I am who I am) I am aware that I am different (personality wise) from most others I meet. By the way, I'm Greg. I posted anonymously because I'm too lazy to sign up. And no, I'm not afraid to use my real name simply because none of you know my last name, address, or phone number.

How do you get away from a sociopath who won't leave you alone? She and I used to be friends, or so I thought, before she started trying to manipulate me and use me and when I wouldn't do as she wanted then she starts cutting me down or lies about me to others. She fits all the statements I've been reading here. She moans and groans how everyone else treats her so bad (not true) when the reality is that she's only upset because she can't control them. I'm doing my best to stay away from her but then she leaves a message on my answering machine trying to make me feel guilty and asking me what did she do wrong? I know it's all an act on her part to get me back into her clutches but I've learned from being around her how dangerous she can be when she doesn't get her own way. She can also be very cruel and it pleases her to hurt others any way she can. Help!!!

I have just realized that a friend of mine is a sociopath. I realized something was wrong by logic. After repeatedly taking the guy in, feeding him, putting him up, lending him money, listening to his sob stories, all the stories of how great he was going to be, forgiving the fact that he had gambled away thousands, drank and took drugs, ignored the fact that he was planning to defraud people, stealing compulsively, lying, and unapologetic when exposed, he used women, called you in the night to pay his restaurant bill, then ridiculed you. i wondered, if this guy is my friend, ie - he cared about me, why was i feeling so bad and why did he never recognize that he was hurting me, and therefore stop. i have heard the term "psychic vampire" someone who drains your energy, and that accurately describes him. I never got a break when he's around because he demands constant attention to his needs and fuel for his ego, and i was so busy attending to him that i became worn out quickly, and became tired, angry sad, and depressed (which is unusual for me). He enjoys chaos, where i find it unsettling i knew something was up, so i took the tactic of letting him win every confrontation he was setting up, he seemed to want to provoke a negative reaction in me and then criticize me and shame me and thus further control me. This actually slowed him down a bit, and i think he didn't find it as gratifying to exploit me when i offered no resistance. After a while i realized he did not understand the meaning of responsibility, and was often projecting his own flaws and mistakes that he was in denial of on everyone else. And finally now i have seen through him i am quite freaked out by the ruthless efficiency of his ability to interpret my weaknesses and read and imitate emotion. As a feat of data processing its very sharp. And in my opinion is an acquired, and practiced skill. Reptilian, is the best word i can describe it with. Well, im not bothered about the money he took or my time he wasted. I pity him. How must it feel to never feel love or compassion? He now has nowhere to live and cannot even cook for himself, yet he is demanding a high end lifestyle and is livid that nobody wants sustain it for him. Why would anyone feel entitled to something thats not theirs? that is sick! I don't think he will hold a job as humility and conformity are alien concepts to him. He has no future other than sucking energy from others. I'm just glad for me that his need for gratification has betrayed his condition to me, or he could have covertly milked me for much more for much longer. I really feel for you if this has happened to you, or if this is a family member. And i wish i had the solution, but it seems from my experience you cannot begin to reason, or educate these people. What comes around goes around, therefore i feel no remorse in kicking this cat to the curb.

well, well, well.....there is light at the end....I think.

well, I married one...a Sociopath that is. SHE, yes, SHE was beautiful. a true knockout. 5'7", 1-8 lbs, blonde, blue, in shape...and a boob job to finish the get-up. she could deals on furniture, cars, clothes...heck she could even get free tea at the local 7-11. She would also get her way. period. before we got married, she was "fine". by no means enough red-flags to make me run. However, after we got married, within three months the game changed so badly that I am now living in fear. She and her son moved out to the house that her and her grandfather we flipping. Yes, she manipulated her WW2, 82 year old grandfather into flipping a house....with HIS money. then, at a convenient time, moved into it when we were having our problems. sound simple, or shallow, in summary let me share this: I've been slapped numerous times, punched in the face 5 times, kicked in the head, things thrown at me, hit in the face with items and to really get your goat, on our honeymoon, she punched me twice, threw a water bottle at me, and left for 5 1/2 hours, only to end up in some other guys room. oh yeah, this was the last night of our honeymoon in cabo san lucas, Mexico. throw in the fact that I burned through 30 thousand in cash to support her half-cocked business and other money issues, oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she's trashed all of my stuff; trashed a 175 dollar radio/alarm clock, threw the other radio out the second story window and then trashed my grateful dead collection of 300 tapes, something I've had for 25 years. we were only married for 1 1/2 years, and it all happened in that time frame. The last time I got punched by her, I was going to call the police, and she said, in front of her grandfather "fine call the police, because YOU hit me first!".

I lie. I lie about stupid stuff sometimes because it's easier to lie than to tell the truth, it saves times and it keeps people happy. I lie a lot to keep people happy. But I do care, I feel remorse all the time, there is never once when I'm like "Oh, I would lie again" after realizing what I've done I normally think I messed up and kinda hate myself for a bit. Am I a sociopath? My ex boyfriend called me a sociopath, I know my brother def. is but I'm not sure about me. I consider myself a nice person, I go out of my way to do nice things for people, but is it all superficial? I have no idea anymore and I lied today to my (now ex) boyfriend about something stupid and it sent him over the edge. I felt bad, I was only lying because I didn't want to hurt him/make him feel bad. Do normal people do this? Do normal people lie to make others happy or omit details? Am I normal or am I a sociopath?

I think I might be dating a sociopath. I was just doing a little research about how controlling he is towards me and I wanted to know if there was something that was behind his behavior. I came across this site that said codependent people( which would be me) tend to get attracted to the "dangerous" type. my boyfriend has been to jail many times and he's had numerous assault charges against him. I don't know why he acts the way he does and I don't know how to change him or if I even can. I don't want to leave him because I love him, but I don't want to deal with his actions and how he treats me either. I just want to know if there is some way that I can 'fix' him.

I've read all the comments as posted and agree with some and disagree with others.

I absolutely KNOW that the man I'm involved with is at least the classic sociopath, based on all that I've read and gleaned from various websites, and based on certain "issues" he has with abandonment (parents), drug and alcohol abuse, trust, etc.

My question is this: since he has been violent towards me to the point of arrest and time in jail several times in the past, and since we live in a VERY small town, how do I get out of the relationship without any more violent interaction? How do I get out and deal with his repercussions? Does anyone have any answers? Do I have to sell my home and move to somewhere he can't find me?

I think that it is important to recognize that we sometimes all display the qualities that would describe a sociopath or many other types of disorders. (myself included) Many of us go through times when we could be considered or categorize ourselves. It is sometimes very easy to point out the negative qualities in ourselves. Perhaps focusing on the hobbies and people in our lives that bring out our best qualities is the most important step you can take to discovering the beauty that inherently lies within. Although, there are of course extreme cases where perhaps this could not be said. Push forward. Find your niche and focus in whatever way works for you. Don't label yourself as bad, but underchallenged or misstepped. Perhaps a more intense job with more challenges, or joining an intensely debated book club...kickboxing...something where your fighting abilities are not only allowed but admired. Just keep pushing and you'll eventually unajar the door. I don't appreciate weakness in people, so instead of knocking down the weak, I find somebody stronger than myself to be my life guides. Let the little things slide

I am being honest, for once. But I am sociopath and I didn't want to believe it. But mostly everything up there is true. But not all of us steal and cheat and abuse people. Wow, it's like a smack in the face. I do not steal I find it rather wrong, not because of laws, but i find no need for it. Also, I could people harm people, but don't unless i'm really mad. But what sucks, is we want help! but we don't. I love the way I am. No one and nothing can hurt me. My friends call me a robot. But I also hate myself. I can't love anyone. It's rather sad. Because I can't love my friends or family. And never can have a love of my life. It's hard to keep a relationship, which sucks. But at the same time I don't care. But come on, we aren't bad people. I mean it's not my fault. I was born this way. I am only sixteen years old. And i'm probably smarter then most people I know. I want to be like everyone else. And if you met me, you'd probably think I was. But that's where you'd be wrong. You see I used to drink. Get drunk every single night for a year. Because I hoped it would change me. Never did. I mean I was high for most of my freshman year, just to try and feel. I try to fit in. But deep down I know I could never, so before you say we are horrible. We know, i know i am. But that's not what makes me upset. Is that I could never feel anything. This is why I love pain. One thing I can feel. And no one can take that away. And my very close friends know I am a sociopath and they still love me and don't look at me any different. And they know I could never really love them. But I do still care. And they are not the same.

I am a sociopath, I have been diagnosed for years. I cope by putting laws in place to follow based on the morals of others no matter how much i disagree with them I adhere as best as possible. Yes I break them, Yes I do much for my own gain. I am not above using, abusing others, and having a disregard for those who I have no connection to. I still love, I still care for those I keep close and trust. It is limited in numbers. Nobody will stay close for long for I will cast them aside if i can't find a use for them. I am devoid of ethics and morality. Every action I do, I do because it will benefit me. I am not above compassion, love, and longing. I will never feel remorse or belonging. I will at least live by the laws i have put in place to fake being in the rest of society.

this is true, if you are worried that you may be a sociopath then that is a clear indication that you are not. sociopaths have no emotion about anything and wouldn't give a damn if they were one or not.

i do not like how it says that some visible symptoms are physical aggression and not being able to hold down a steady job. this is just ridiculous. i think a lot of people who are told they have this illness actually do not. some people are just jerks and it does not mean that they are sociopaths.

to the poster above...i respectfully disagree and do not appreciate your judgmental attitude

[edited out...no personal attacks please]

So far this has been incredibly one-sided it's pathetic. "Oh god i think I might be a sociopath, here's why" want a news flash people? if you're worried about it than you AREN'T one because sociopaths don't give a damn if they are or not. And then everyone else on here posting about how evil sociopaths are. Maybe you only think they're evil because you're too stuck on societal norms to be able to open your eyes to a different lifestyle. It is a one sided and not to mention simple minded argument. People will never know more than their little world and their simple lives. They will never know what it is to give in to the sinful temptations of our human nature. And that's only one thing out of many things they will never experience or comprehend. Some would say that sociopaths should pity them but pity that is given is just a waste of time. So I say let you all hate what you don't understand because in the end we all know who is living and who is just waiting to die.

I have just recently learned what a sociopath is, as I have been fooled for three years to my now ex-fiance's charms. He is now spending the rest of his life in prison. I was not the only woman involved. Just the one that held a ring that meant absolutely nothing to him and so I thought everything to me. He did a very good job of sucking me in. Even in the past year while he spent in jail awaiting a trial that never occurred. (he pleaded guilty before it had to be proven what he really was) I believed him and even lost my family through all the mess. If you are involved with a person like this I know what you are going through. This man knew how to manipulate every single situation. He was even in a professional job to make himself look good. Now that it is all over I see the reality of it all. I have now begun researching the subject due to the diagnosis of this from the detectives that helped put his ass behind bars so he can never harm another's life again. The lies are still continuing and he has his family wrapped around his finger still after all is said and done... I feel sorry for his sickness. I thank my lucky stars that I am still alive as another human is not. It could have been me he chose to remove from this earth. If you know a person like this run far and fast. They are sick and have the potential to destroy not only you financially or emotionally. they have the ability to take you away from this earth forever. Thank God this one is locked away forever. I don't know as the professionals don't know how people become like this. But I pray that researchers continue to constantly study this so maybe someday like other diseases these monsters can be found and treated before it's too late. Diseases may take us away but to have another human being take us away is the worst. Please seek help if you feel you have these characteristics. And if you don't get the help stay the hell away from everyone so you can do no harm. Nobody deserves to go through what I have come through. My worst enemies do not deserve this. but if you have been through it know who you are and know we can overcome. We can go on with our lives as others don't have that ability. May all that have been in my situation find peace of mind to know you are not the bad person. You have been manipulated and charmed. But find yourself again. Life is wonderful and you have the ability to live it to the fullest.

Like many others that have posted here, I am concerned that I may have anti- social disorder. I have trouble trusting people and always seem to have one foot in and one foot out the door. I want to feel accepted by the people that I work with but realize that they may feel the same way I do. I am very wary of people, I do not lie to people, well maybe a white lie here and there but I don't socialize like others do, now I feel they think I am a weirdo. I go to my job, work hard and that's it. It is hard though when you spend more than half your waking hours a week at work and not socializing. I think my biggest fear is not even rejection its confrontation. Or the whole "WELL YOU SAID THIS" thing. The thing is you never know who is on the edge and I don't want to be the person they go off on. These are the types of things that keep me from being social, I do have people I can trust but I have known them for a long time. I am not really looking for more friends at work but would like to be more social, as I feel this would make work a little more enjoyable. Anyway I think all of us on this earth could probably be coined a sociopath in one way or another in the terms of the people who dictate what a sociopath is, we're all just human.

I've read through all of the possible symptoms when an ex friend of mine told me to get psychiatric help because she told me I displayed all of the symptoms of a sociopath. Although I don't think I'm capable of physical abuse I know for a fact that I have indulged in the impulsive unnecessary lying and have created completely wild extravagant stories that shouldn't be believed. Even I can see that they shouldn't be believed, but for some reason people believe me with these stories.

At one point when I was 16 I kept a journal of all my stories just so I would be able to keep them straight.

To date I've had a total of six aliases, beginning when I was fourteen to now, four years later. Five girls, one male (I used a friend of mine to meet my goals in humiliating a girl that didn't really deserve it).

I did go through a drug phase, but once again I mostly lied to others about the extent (dramatizing it and using others personal experience to make it more believable just to watch others reactions)

I've developed an ability to pick out the most vulnerable weakness and either use it to build them up and give them confidence and then a whim later I'd use it to tear them down worse than they were feeling before.

I've recently begun cheating on my boyfriends and girlfriends (I'm not actually bisexual but that doesn't seem to make a difference). Not only do I have multiple people at one time telling me that they love me but I also get sort of a perverse enjoyment dangling the idea of cheating in front of them, or even telling them completely honestly but in a jokative way so they don't take me seriously.

None of my behaviors ever made sense to me. I knew something must be wrong because people didn't act the way I was acting. Mental illnesses run in my family but sociopathic tendencies were never part of the parcel.

So from the information I've received I think I may have found the problem... I just have no idea what to do about it now..

I'm only 18 though so it looks like it might not be too late... is that right?

we're all sick.

A sociopath is living with me and has been for almost a year. I had always known something was wildly wrong with this person. She is a pathological liar, and would lie constantly even when getting caught doing or stealing something. She would never apologize or feel sorry. Her facial expressions are always blank as though she's staring at nothing! She is also very sneaking, manipulative, cunning, deceiving and worst of all conniving. She take advantage of everyone and everything and caused many problems for everyone. She jeopardized everyone's relationships and then later turns her back around to make you feel guilty for her. She acts as though we own her things, like our time, our money etc... She Always takes things but never once in her entire time been here give to anyone. She is secretive, and a straight loner and completely EVIL to the core. She is like a rotten apple that makes everyone sick when in sight. She is an OCD/scizo-sociopath bipolar freak!!!

I have a friend who has a lot of sociopathic tendencies.

Nobody else really thinks there's anything wrong, but my friend knows something is a little off about herself. She's had very few friends always, and lies constantly to get what she wants, no matter the cost. She usually manages to keep herself under control, but occasionally she just loses it and starts yelling her head off for hours at a time. She doesn't hold grudges though, because she knows that she needs to be nice to people to get what she wants. I known she wouldn't rob a bank or anything like that, but she steals small amounts of money and stuff. She can be kinda violent, and cruel to some animals. And I know that she knows that she isn't a nice person for whatever reason, and will never be.

She goes to therapists for other things, but she lies about how she is and what she does and everything, because she knows that it'd be bad if people found out what she is really like, because she wouldn't be able to get what she wants anymore. She's the most charming person I know, even though she's extremely mean underneath. Is she a sociopath?

I don't think you guys are sociopaths--real sociopaths think they're normal and wouldn't care. All people lie, cheat, and have fake personalities, it's just a part of life!!!

I think I might be a sociopath. I've always been extremely distant from everyone, and am almost never sympathetic. When I was little (like, younger than 8) I was pretty violent too. I would hit people, though of course it wouldn't do much since I had the strength of an eight-year-old.

I lie a lot, and I don't steal anything big, just really small stuff. Like somebody above said, I've kind of trained myself to react to things the way other people do, although I still don't really care. I have a horrible temper, but I manage to keep the worst of it under control. I'll admit that like, the only reason I'm nice to people is so that I can get what I want. People who can't give me anything, I'm rude to, because I just don't care.

Am I sociopath?

******************

To me, the question is if(and how) you are able to make a difference between a Sociopath and a person who is simply a rat and better to be avoided. I guess, in a way everyone lives in their own world so technically it doesn't matter if we label someone psychologically ill or simply a "bad person". However, having dealt with someone like that, the only way to let them go and forgive them is accept they have a disease, and they would need help if the disease itself did not contain the main element of denying help or denying the existence of any disorder.

I had a Sociopath boyfriend 7 months ago and it has just been recently that I realized he is one. Until now, it has been tearing me apart, all the "why"s and all the confusion about how the whole thing died from one moment to the other, incredible like a movie and sophisticatedly dragging me into it as if I had only been a naive and dumb babe..there isnt really anyone to tell about it as I said it is on one hand too unbeliavable but on the other it could be simply a popular narcistic guy testing his limits on a pure-hearted attractive and abusable girl.

He is a tour guide so just a perfect position to feed this disease to no limits..

I wish I wish I wish someone gave me credit and that I could prevent the same thing to happen to any other women...

Now I am only thankful I am alive, having healing wounds and over the disastrous pschychological collapse that was caused by him and the failure to understand a tiny bit of the whole story..

I feared for a long time that I was a sociopath and when I was 19 I was "diagnosed". I own all the characteristics outlined for a sociopath except the fact that I would like a cure. For years I trained myself to feel certain ways pertaining to certain subjects; example: your dog dies = empathy. My immediate reaction would be "so? get another one" Now; I started lying when I was seven, my mother recalls that day so clearly. I started stealing random objects about that time as well, just to see if I could. (And my parents were/are very respectable people in the town I grew up in and the church they still attend. I was raised better than this) It became a high I wanted to feel daily; then there was shop-lifting, first there was small things, like ink pens, then I moved on to $500 cameras right in front of cashiers. They were blind to the fact that I just lifted something off the shelf. Then I moved on to what I like to call "beating the system" I have successfully stolen/embezzled somewhere close to half a million dollars in actual money and merchandise. I started off doing this to hurt people that I didn't like, and then moved on to doing this under "dead" children's social security numbers. It was a game and it was entertaining. I'm not arrogant by any means, I just want to point out the fact that I'm fairly beautiful, enough self-confidence for a hundred, the vocabulary to kill anyone with words and the brains to back up anything I get into an argument over. I have spent a few days in jail, until which point I successfully manipulated my boyfriend at the time that it was a misunderstanding and that I needed to get out so I could prove it. (Might I add that I obviously hurt him, and he deserved so much better) I am the type of person that likes to get away with doing wrong, without anyone knowing it. I would have to say that I like the power to fool people. It's terrible of me and when I think about myself in the third person I deserve to be killed so I won't do any more damage to anyone. I have hurt almost everyone I've come into contact with (regarding money or simply lying) and have often thought of suicide in a logical sense. I don’t know that I’ve actually felt pain regarding hurt; I just react to how I expect one should react in such a sense. Though I can say that I’ve loved; a man; and once that I can recall. (I love my sisters, but that’s a different kind of love)

There’s so much more that I want people to know about sociopath’s like myself; perhaps I’ll write book.

I’m not sure what persuaded me to come to this site to begin with, perhaps it’s the day after Thanksgiving and I didn’t spend the holiday with my family? Perhaps it’s a lack of sleep at four a.m.? I can go on but I’ll digress. I wish there were a pill or something I could take to curb these feelings. I just can’t help hurting people, I don’t like the person I am and have made multiple attempts to change (and I have made some progress). I would love to feel remorse and/or guilt, and even emotional pain, but it’s more difficult than someone who isn’t in such a position would understand.

I myself am a Sociopath. I have a few friends that are also Sociopaths. I don't like harming people unless they cross me, kinda hard to cross me. The person has to inflict harm verbal or psychical. I pretty much don't have emotions. When my father died I felt really nothing, I miss him i give you that but it kinda rolls off my shoulders. I attend to lie to people for them to just leave me alone. anti social means anti social. We're nothing like psychopaths. The profile of a sociopath is all wrong. They way it sounds it's more the lines of a psychopath. Two doctors thought I was bipolar until I saw three specialists and two of the three told me im a Sociopath. The third couldn't pinpoint.

Ahh! So that's what it means. I rushed to the web because this news anchor was talking about a killer and sort of describing my personality mentioning the word sociopath. I thought I was in the path of killing somebody or something... I'm half sociopath and half s.o.b... What does that make me?

Bob

I believe my 16 yr. old daughter's ex boyfriend is a sociopath. He is also 16. He tells her...her family and friends are controlling her when we say you can not see him. He verbally abuses her and once choked her. He manipulates her into thinking we are the bad people. That he is the only one that truly loves her or ever will. He has no family of his own. He has been mental and physical abuse himself by parents. He has trust and attachment issues. But our daughter sees none of this. She has and excuse for all he does. I am scared for her. He is so negative. He hates school, barely works, has no real interests. She is good in school, loves sports (plays rep ball)very social person. When he sees her beeing social he says she is flirting and calls her a slut.

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I have just finished a relationship with a cunning deceitful coward, who I have since realised is a sociopath. He has a job working in a building as a security guard which is almost entirely female social workers and nurses. Probably one reason why he kept me well away from his work environment. He wouldn't answer the phone if I rang him at work. I found out that he had a sexual relationship with one of these women and was grooming others (all apparently married). I dropped him like a hot potato.

I've been trying to find out what the hell is wrong with me, and this makes sense. I feel really distant from other people. I don't like people. And even when I do something behind someone I love's back, I don't really feel bad about it. But, unlike this article is saying... I DON'T like to lie and deceive people. I'm a pretty nice person, but apparently I'm a good actress too.

I don't know... a lot of people are saying this is a really horrible thing, talking about lying, and stealing, and cheating. I don't intentionally hurt people, but like I said, when I do, it doesn't bother me that much.

I don't know... someone help me out??

to the person that posted above. i would disagree that you can go about "training" yourself to be a sociopath, or at least find it perplexing to have such a goal. it sounds like your friend is in a state of "being lost" like you said, and with such a horrific loss, he may have a lengthy period of numbness, depression, anxiety about how to cope, and so on. lots of people are able to be charming and witty even when they are depressed and overwhelmed. it's a coping skill in itself, trying to put on the brave front. i would look at it that it would be very much more concerning if he wasn't feeling "lost" for a while. with the right support (it sounds like you are part of it), he can progress through the grieving process, and learn to find healthy ways to deal with his loss. be supportive, offer to listen (too many people say they will be there to listen, but end up doing all of the talking...hmmm), and let him know he's not alone. is he getting any professional help? that can be very helpful too. he may not want it at first,or may welcome it. i hope your friend is okay, and know that you are a good friend for doing some reading and research on how to help him. that says a lot about you.

so basically you can train yourself to become a "sociopath" because any social norm can lose the feeling of caring. I have a friend that's currently lost his mom and dad in a car accident. All he can do is act lost... i feel as if i'm losing him and his actions lack feeling and his wits are as charming as ever but still he's different.

to the poster above, i respectfully say that that is a load of garbage.

To be honest with all of you, this link only exists because some team of psychologists coined the term 'sociopath' If you really think about it, why do psychologists have jobs? Because they create the disease by labelling, and perpetuate it by making you think you have it for recurrent appointments. Personally, I think that we're all bipolar.

Welcome to the era of desensitization.

i know i am a sociopath. And hell, I'M PROUD OF IT. The fact that i don't connect with people with empathy and love protects me from heartbreaks, and it makes me a mentally stronger person not to connect with other humans. I don't get feelings of joy or hate, only anger, and boredom. I steal and lie a lot. I created my own alternate story of how i was born and where i lived as a child, and even changed the race of my mother, Try that for a sociopath. i lie because its so cool that humans are so stupid and easy to mislead. And to top it all of, i have made plans for the last ten years (since i was 11)to take over the world! theres nothin wrong with me. The problem is yiu! my genes are different based of a chemical indifference in the alleles of my gene pool(dad was a theif, mom a U.S marine)and it caused me to have a more primitive/survivalist instinct (sociopathy) that makes me more like humans in the days before civilization

I don't know if i am a sociopath.Maybe I have sociopathic tendencies. I am a compulsive liar and often I am extremely paranoid.However, I CAN empathize with other people's suffering and pain, and I am filled with guilt and self loathing a great deal of the time as a result of my actions. (the compulsive lying)

I'm confused :S

yeah you can also see this behavior in autism, drug addicts, just selfish people, artists, creative people, business people and people that mainly live for their work or have brain damage, upbringing, genetic inheritance, 5 people in my family have been diagnosed at age 13 with sociopathic personality disorder for setting animals on fire, stealing etc drug problems, but they cry, they are sad , they love....but it's never real...I have found people that aren't sociopaths might live off tv as well and take on the tv's characteristics too much ,OCD can also bring out these behaviors...many many FACTORS. can mislead diagnosis.. you'll see most people are this way seemingly at times, some just 10 times worse than others. They display attributes much more than others and make this their life and tend to be very proud, as I too can be.....

i'm seeing a pattern of people asking questions, and either themselves or someone else rescuing them from truly looking at themselves with the possibility of change in their minds, using rationalizations and justifications as to why they are fine, or "not that bad" to need help. it is true that most people will have 1 or 2 symptoms of any mental health diagnosis, but they will not meet all of them. that's why criteria are qualifiers, and several are needed to be "truly" diagnosed. i've been in your shoes, and i got help, and i beg you to do the same. do not resort to the self-grandiose thinking, the ego that you know better than anyone else, that the advice of someone that isn't an expert (besides being self-proclaimed experts, which we all do) is justification to not look at yourself a little deeper.

you came to this webpage for a reason, right? that's a clue right there. listen to what your gut is saying, and go talk to a professional.

actually that makes more sense, thank you.

To the poster two messages above me...I don't think you're a sociopath, but may just be a manifestation of extreme resentment and bitterness that was not properly dealt at an earlier point in your life or at a young age, so you may find the need to immediately lash out and retaliate at any instance of adversity to ensure that you have better control over those that you feel may threaten to hurt you. Get better control over your emotions.

The problem with assuming that someone is a TRUE sociopath, is realizing that you yourself also has anti-social tendencies. If you were to read an expansive definition to sociopath, you would see that you, along with any other honest person in the world, has one or more of the "traits" that define a sociopath. Maybe your not like that now, or are only like that "sometimes", but its hard to go through life without manifesting some sort of anti-social behavior.

I have been reading up on Sociopaths out of my own curiosity. I have always known that there was something wrong with me. When people anger me I tend to act out violently. If I'm in a place where I can't or decide not to act out I'll play out in my head. And it always ends with me dominating them. If I can make some one I hate cry, then I have won. And then plan on assaulting them mentally until they break down. I am a liar, I have told so many lies and I have been caught, one or twice in which I convinced them otherwise. Thats not every thing, but what I want to know is, am I a sociopath?

To the first poster...you are not a sociopath and do not have Antisocial Persoality Disorder

Posted by: Anonymous

Many symptoms are similar to symptoms of those in the grip of active addiction. I can attest to this from first hand experience...If you think you may be an addict, stop using ALL mood and mind-altering drugs, seek help to do so, and find a new way to live. I accomplish the "finding a new way to live" part through regular involvement in Narcotics Anonymous. The only ones that can successfully help an addict are OTHER addicts. By the way, just because drugs are removed from the equation does not mean that the addictive (and sociopathic or anti-social) behaviors magically disappear. Usually, they want to find another form to take. Sex, anger, gambling, stealing, it's all connected. That's why the internal growth from doing the 12 steps with another addict is needed. Sorry to go off on a tangent, it's just that I've seen waaay too many addicts misdiagnosed because they are great manipulators.

to the poster of the above

The program only works if YOU work it! ...getting help and making it work only happens when the person who is addictied has reached such a low that they are committed to gettin help and want to help themselves. I agree that being surroounded by those that share your pain helps but they are not the sole reason for ones ability to overcome the addiction...It starts and finishes with the individual! the support group is just that support.

First off do not diagnose yourself and be careful of what other peoples opinions are. Secondly consider the source. Thirdly put it in perspective.

First UNDERSTAND we live in a medicated world and a 'Im a victim country'. Its easy to read yourself into any set of symptoms especially when talking about such a highly debatable and vague subject such as mental illness. The bottom line here in most cases is money, not only from drug company's but also from the Mental Health INDUSTRY itself. Something does not have to be true to be accepted, it only has to be believed and sellable and not prosecutable in a court of law. Ask any good trial lawyer about this. The mental health INDUSTRY makes MOST of its money from very minor non consequential concerns.

Examine the medicine commercials you see on television if you need further convincing. Yes you can maybe cure your acne if you take the medicine that might have deadly side effects on your heart or liver. Is it better to risk death then to suffer with pimples?. In our weird society maybe. I think the mental health profession should maybe apply their sociopathic and other sickness definitions back onto themselves and our capitalistic society in general. Lets see there are what..umm 6 billion people in the world or more?. Well in the ever expanding mental health INDUSTRIES thats um....6 billion future diagnosable forms of mental illness.

Any person or organization can be self delusional in their beliefs that somehow they are doing humanity good (Moral delusions). Hence we get the ultimate IDEALISTIC moral delusion of "I'm going to kill you for your own good or for the good of others". These self delusions are sometimes converted into professional dogmatism. If you need convincing then check out the controversy over the use of mercury in dental fillings and the ADA's stance on the subject over the years even after being shown that that chronic mercury exposure is very harmful and sometimes deadly. In spite of this I still go to dentist to get my toothache fixed because I don't really have a choice. The ADA is left with the opinion "Hey we fixed your toothache didn't we?.. so we must be 100 percent OK and besides you don't know squat about being a dentist (Professional Egotism/delusions). So who is going to take the very powerful ADA to court?. The mental health Industry has an equally if not shadier past on many issues and has professional /legal organizations dedicated to protecting their members.

Before you play the 'I'm sick' or 'I'm a sick/victim role' or do the 'my child is sick act'. I would seriously explore alternate SELF/OTHER UNDERSTANDINGS of who (YOU/THEY) are as a person. Somebody's natural strength could be confused by someone else as Illness of some sort. As an example read Meyers/Briggs or Keirsey's work on personality typing. Put information like that into your perspective and you will UNDERSTAND. Before you say it..yes their work has its critics also. You or they might not be the sociopath or mental deficient you think you are. Lets compare the older social/power axiom - measuring model and compare the viewpoints. The supportive personality type in this model uses social skills to navigate through life where the director personality type uses facts and little or no social finesse to communicate their ideas the director prefers direct and to the point communication. The supportive from the directors viewpoint looks weak and and contradicts the directors natural style, so the director thinks and believes and acts as tho there is something wrong with the supportive. The director from the supportive viewpoint looks like a tyrant and views the director as some sort of monster. The supportive will use their social skills to share this opinion with their support group around the office or wherever.

Imagine a director parent having a supportive type child with no understanding of different personality types. That parent is going to imagine and act out that something is wrong with junior. This parent will project the 'Juniors sick' perspective right onto Junior, maybe going as far as telling junior that somethings wrong with them or taking that child to the mental health INDUSTRY for hopes of a cure. while at the same time junior sees the director parent as 'not right in the head' and will act out this belief accordingly or worse they will believe that parent and think something is terribly wrong with themself.

The mental health field does have a role to play. If your genuinely sick, like suicidal or homicidal or compulsive breaking the law then get help. If you have bad habits that bother you or cause problems then try to change them. Most times its only lack of self understanding or a lack of not understanding others that creates a deceptive perception of the truth.

I hear you, Fred. I'm in the same boat-- Stepmother with a new husband, two children who are pulled every which way by their sociopathic mother, and a court system that can't fathom a mother being capable of sexually abusing her 3-4 year old son. We have had his therapist sit on the stand and say more than once that in her vast experience, she knows that my stepson is telling the truth and is not being coached. Does anybody actually believe that I would want these children to be unjustly taken away from their mother? And of course, I am her constant target. "I'm not good for the kids", "I'm abusive to the kids", "The kids look at me strange, so they must be hiding something for me." This child loves his mom. He does not want to be taken away from her. If he was going to fabricate something, it would most likely be about me. But now his mother is telling him that she has never touched him to hurt him and that he lied to his therapist, so his last appointment was almost disastrous. She honestly believes that she hasn't done anything wrong. She even suspects his new, court-appointed male therapist of being a potential child-molester, so she wants them to keep the door open, with her sitting outside listening. I can't believe her.

And, of course, we can't say anything, because then we're being the vindictive ones. We do what we know is right, train the kids, have rules, bedtimes, they get naps and nutritious meals, and they get proper discipline. But because their mom lets them sleep with her, and she doesn't put them to bed until they crash, and because she fills their minds with such garbage, they are deeply confused and want her all the time. I am so utterly sick of all this. I'm sick of her getting away with all her horrible things she does. And I feel the worst for her son and daughter. They are her pawns, just like everybody else. And there's no good way to tell them that I know they want their mom, but their mom is their abuser. She's their enemy, in essence. I can't tell them that. You're right when you say they HAVE to win. She has cheated on my husband (when they were married) throughout their entire marriage and kept it a secret. Yet she couldn't understand why he would divorce her when she was soooo sorry. Yet everything was his fault and she made the process hell on him. And even now, sometimes she hates him because he's being "an ass" to her, and sometimes, she's so concerned about him-- she's wanting to know if he and I are on the rocks so she can get the life back she had. He gave her a decent life, one she felt entitled to, and one she feels like I stole from her. She honestly thinks that if I hadn't come into his life, that he wouldn't have divorced her. He was under her spell for 7 years. He just lived every day thinking, this day will end. She's like a roller coaster, and doesn't care one damn thing about anybody else or how her actions affect anybody else. She's obsessed with sex, and she even said at one point that she doesn't want to have any more boys, because she doesn't trust herself around boys. To anybody else, that would throw up red flags, but when you're under the spell of a sociopath, you can't fathom that they'd be capable of that. You almost don't believe them, and if they get caught, they make you feel sorry for them, they are the "victim". It's insane. And you don't realize until you're out of it that you've been victimized. You have been targeted. In this case, she was using me to get to my (now ex-) husband. She succeeded in that, which caused my now-husband and me to call eachother, wondering if the other knew. One thing led to another, and we ended up getting married. But now I'm the one that "broke up the marriage." What we did was so much worse, because her fling didn't mean anything, but we had actual feelings for eachother, even if we didn't act on them until we were married. So we're such horrible people. I could go on and on. The only solace I have is that we have been ordered to get psych evals. We'll see if she can pull one over on the test.

For all people who doubt that sociopaths exist....this is exactly what the sociopath counts on. The things they do are heinous, but they get away with it, because most people do not believe people are capable of doing the things they do. No, not all sociopaths fit into a nice neat description from a clinical book. No one lives in a bubble and everyone has their own life experience with numerous contributing factors. I think it is a known fact that people have tendencies and inclinations when it comes to personality disorders and mental illness and there are varying degrees on the spectrum and possibly overlapping issues. I believe the clinical definitions are valid guidelines that merit being revisited at times. It can be very difficult to pinpoint an exact description since sociopaths are known not to have social boundaries and each have their own agenda.

Ironically, sociopaths can even fool the psychologists who develop these descriptions and make diagnoses. It is inherent in the defintion of a sociopath that they are glib and superficial. They can easily fool the unsuspecting and can sometimes keep it going on for years with one person. Warning, this by no means makes the person they fooled "naive or an idiot." Unless you have truly had to deal with a socipath it is unfair to judge. From my personal experience, I am a new wife and my husband and his ex-wife have been divorced for 6 years. My husband told me nothing about this woman's past. She had him believing that they should not tell each other about their past to new relationships. Believing she was a normal person, I carried on as if she was a normal person, but luckily I soon realized something was amiss with her. Especially when she somehow charged a $500 hotel stay to our credit card. I started asking my husband questions about his ex and he admitted to me that she had a previous felony from stealing from her work and that she had had about 20 or so jobs during their 10 years of marriage. He told me she had a whole false persona that she lived by-i.e. college education, trust fund-and it was all made up. When confronted with these lies she never told the truth. He told me he thought it was just him thinking that she was a terrible person (because that is what she made him believe) and that he wanted me to judge her for myself and that's why he didn't tell me. At this point, I had not idea what a sociopath was, but I knew something was terribly wrong. My husband and his ex had two girls and he had custody of them, so they lived with us. She would call up and ask to talk to her daughters and then she would start yelling "Just let me talk to my daughter!!" As if I wasn't going to allow her to talk to them, when all I had said was "hello." She was putting on a show for whoever was listening on the other end, so they would think I was the evil new wife/step-mother. And when she did call our house the caller i.d. showed someone else's name. I asked my husband whose name was on the caller i.d. and he said it was her 3rd husband's mother. I asked him why it was in her name and he told me the mother-in-law probably didn't know. Eventually it came out that the mother-in-law did not know and all the utilities WERE in her name and the ex was not paying the bills, so they were showing up on the mother-in-laws credit report. Before the mother-in-law found out about this the ex had conned her into co-signing a loan so she could get surgery. She had told everyone she was dying of cancer, including her children. The mother-in-law went with her to the "surgery" for support, thinking she was an ill woman. The ex actually got breast implants and a tummy tuck that day. About a year later she learned that the ex took her social security number off the loan she had finagled her to sign ($19k) and used that to open all those utilities and also to get two fraudulent loans with the mother-in-law as the (forged) co-signer (about $12k). No one is buying the cancer story. Her mother-in-law lives in a differnt state-the police in both state say since she moved out-of-state neither police dept. has jurisdiction. And how does this affect us you ask? Well the whole while she is not paying child support (and never really had), but she is telling the children and everyone she knows that we also know that we neglect the children, that we make her pay for everything even though she has cancer and might be dying. She has pretty much succeeded in alienating many people from us. We look so terrible to these people and they are people we had to continually interact with. She has even gone so far to involve my family and has them believing it. But we can not say anything or we would only enforce what she is saying, because what kind of people accuse a poor dying woman of lying. Especially if you are the new wife and stepmother. Or the recently remarried father. She now has a new kind of cancer and still has certain people believe that she is dying. I could go on and on with the complexities of the situation. My point, in these examples, is how the sociopath can weave false reality(s) by manipulating social dynamics and emotions. They can fool virtually anyone this way, including in our case, the courts, the school, the doctors,the police, and mostly sadly of all the children. She has turned the children against their father and I (through emotional bullying, bribing with $$/presents, and generally rewarding them for bashing us and withholding affection for them if they do not) to the point where they now live with her and they do not want to see us. I am viewed by everyone as the evil,jealous stepmother. And human nature makes you ask the question, well you must have given them a reason to not want to be at your house. It is this kind of innocent, human thinking that helps the sociopath get away with all these things. Honestly, my husband and I have tried to be as cool, calm, and collected in every way about these things. We haven't retaliated in anyway other than getting a lawyer to work out any child support/custody issues. For all we know, these people she has told about us still think we are terrible people. The sociopath does this to break down any source of support and also to gain support for their false reality. We realized what was happening and did some reserach. The word sociopath finally came up. We worked hard to stay self-aware and learn about sociopaths and their ramifications so we didn't get caught up emotionally. We learned that parental alienation is a part of being a sociopath and so is munchausen and munchausen-by-proxy. (So you see how clinical issues are not always isolated). These were also things we saw happening and didn't have a clue how to deal with it until we started doing research. It is extremely difficult to sort out all these things- what is real and what isn't. My husband suffers emotionally over the loss of the children and I hurt for what he and the children are going through. It just doesn't matter what you do the sociopath always has to WIN and what that is depends on the individual sociopath. Never trust them. They will go to any lengths. And if you do not think it brings them pleasure to WIN.......well, it does. We always keep in mind that as worn out as we are by all this, we are actually a tiny reality of all the false realities she has going on at work, at home, with her kids, with her boyfriend. She has to juggle different stories and hide her stealing and lying constantly. Sociopaths think this is a normal way to live.

Be vary of putting people (including yourself) into boxes that has been invented by professionals in a field. Printed description of psychological disorders read like so much astrology to the layman. You can find yourself fitting into almost any personality disorder if you read enough descriptions. The terms sociopath and personality disorder will go out of fashion in some years to be replaced by a new set of jargon that will suit the interests of the next generation of dominant health professionals. Psychiatric and psychological terms are supposed to be of a tool for health professionals who are trying to help a person with problems. They can and have been used damage people.

"Sociopath" have normal everyday speak equivalents. Heartless bastard, lovable rogue, machine politician, brave soldier etc. What was lovable rouge becomes heartless bastard depending on the changing requirements of the person who fell in love with the lovable rouge and who now hates the heartless bastard. People are different and perhaps that is all one can say with certainty.

TO CONCERNED MOM

are there any support groups in your area? sometimes the best therapy resource can be people with the same or similar disorder. also, one of the best resources throughout the country is 211. you can dial that number from any land line phone (some areas are set up to connect with 211 via cell phones as well, but in my area at least, there is a separate number that is local that you can call to get the same agency). they have an enormous amount of resources available for local, state, and national resources (there is over 12.000 resources for my area, and i live in a medium sized town in wisconsin).

you can also try doing some research on different websites which will give info. and probably resources as well. i am a big fan of the behavenet website. you can also try the pdan website, which is a huge amount of info specifically for personality disorders. NAMI (national alliance for the mentally ill) may have some options as well. let me know if you can't find help after checking those out. i can try to track some stuff down for you as well, but it would probably take me a while.

I have a daughter in her twenties who has been diagnosed with this label (Sociopath) She has all the stereotypical attributes; charisma, superficial and fleeting relationships, rarely does she ever speak the truth. She has moved from one job to another, and since her childhood I cannot remember one person she has ever formed an attachment to. After two different prominent psychiatrists diagnosed her with antisocial personality disorder she has not been offered help; the one physician feared retaliation. She is a young beautiful, and smart girl, however she has feels isolated, as she does not seem to have the ability to appreciate any relationship for very long. Where can I seek help for her?

CONCERNED MOM

JOURNEY FROM RAT'S WHEEL TO FREEDOM:

I have been learning about sociopaths from different sources, including a book("The Sociopath Next Door") written by a Harvard psychologist who treated numerous victims of sociopaths. It seems that the posts I read on this site are from people who are NOT sociopaths, as a true sociopath does not think anything is wrong with him/her, and does get a sick pleasure from the game of conning a victim. A sociopath would be much more likely to post a false story that would garner pity from the rest of us.

I have a husband that I have slowly come to realize has sociopathic characteristics: pathological lying, manipulation, repressed rage, no genuine emotions or love, excessive irresponsibility, unreliability, parasitic lifestyle, criminal history--though never prosecuted.

It had been hard for me to see this at first, as abuse from my childhood caused me to let the sociopath talk me out of reality and doubt what I knew to be true. I ended up like a rat on a wheel--working too many hours, paying all the bills, exhausted, no time or energy to maintain friendships, credit accounts maxed out in my name for tens of thousands of dollars without my permission and with no explaination of where the money went.

For a while, he had my children believing that I was the "bad guy" for not having money to spend on fun things and for trying to have some kind of rules in our home so we would try and be respectful of each other. Sadly, my oldest child, who has turned 18, still lies and is using someone else's credit account, but has other people fooled that he would never do such a thing.

I know this will sound bizarre to some and corny to others, but only after doing some very difficult work on the abuse (in a program called Celebrate Recovery) and getting a relationship with God, did I begin to have things revealed to me. I slowly began to see things for how they really are. I would suddenly wake up at 4:30 in the morning and walk directly over to evidence of a lie that I would never have thought to look at in the past.

I am getting stronger every day. This situation has been very hard to deal with, as my husband is very intelligent and knows how to make himself look pretty good to the outside world, or get others to pity him as though he is the one being treated unfairly or taken advantage of in our marriage.

He knows that in most relationships there are "two sides to the story", so he uses this to his advantage. Unfortunately, in a relationship with a sociopath, there really aren't two true sides--there is what is happening to the victim and what the sociopath would like others to believe.

Most people don't realize he's been through 9 different jobs in our 9 years of marriage (a number of them lost for lying, stealing, or rageful outbursts), has devastated our credit and financial life, lies, and if I try to speak up about these issues, the truth is twisted and I am verbally attacked.

I set boundries with my husband and asked him to go and get professional help, make a plan for the debts, and tell me where the money went or we would have to seperate. He made excuses and did none of these things, so we are seperating at the end of the month. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust him again, as he is quite a gifted truth-twister and con. My older child will be moving out with him.

I am looking forward to having peace and safety in my home again. I have not really had that since I got married. I will come back and read these posts, including my own, when I begin to doubt my sanity and perceptions!

My husband's ex-wife shows all the symptoms of being a sociopath. Not only is she making my life as bad as she can, but her four-year-old son is accusing her of sexual abuse. We're currently in and out of court trying for custody, but she has this persona of being such a great mom, being accused of such malicious things. The judge is believing her. She even passed a polygraph test. She thinks I am coaching her son on what to say in therapy. I can't believe it. The judge ordered her, myself and my husband to get psych evals done. I'm not worried about ours, but my question is, if she does have this disorder, will it come out finally in the evaluation?

I have recently completed my requirements to become a therapist, and have worked as a county crisis worker - I encounter individuals with personality disorders and severe mental illnesses very regularly, and might have some information that may be helpful to some of the posts in this discussion.

1. friends and family members are not clinicians, and probably don't have the knowledge and experience to tell you if you have a mental illness or personality disorder. even people that have an illness or personality disorder, and think that you might have the same thing as they do are not experts. take the time to go and see someone that is an expert. there are so many variables and points of inclusion or disclusion (like age, when symptoms first became present, family history, any other mental health diagnoses, and so on) that deserve proper consideration. it comes down to this being your life and your mental health. you are important enough to deserve a full and accurate assessment.

2. explore the range of mental illnesses and personality disorders, and only accept a diagnosis from someone that knows what they are talking about. Several posts identify that they have seen professionals to get assistance. That's exactly what you need to do. Also make sure the person you are seeing is qualified to make a diagnosis. I have been a social worker for 8 years, and I am only now becoming able to "diagnose" people. The easy way to tell is to determine if the person is a LICENSED CLINICIAN of PSYCHIATRIST. the amount of additional knowledge required of these fields is pretty big. people who are not one of these categories can tell you what they think, but responsible workers also say that they are not able to diagnose, and should refer you to a person that is able to.

3. DO NOT TRUST INTERNET DIAGNOSTICS TOOLS! it is impossible to base a diagnosis solely on a few questions. even if the test seems reasonably accurate, it is worth the time and effort for an in person diagnosis to consider all of the aspects associated with mental health and personality disorders.

seeing someone in the mental health field is a very uncomfortable thing for a lot of people, even more so for individuals that might have some of the criteria associated with many of the personality disorders as well as several mental health conditions. Narcissistic personality disorders may think others are not qualified to tell them anything because they are not as "special" as them. Antisocial personality disorders may feel the situation is very confrontational, and that mental health professionals are going to "screw them over." IT'S OKAY TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE - YOU SHOULD STILL DO IT. as one of the professionals in the field, my only goal in working with others is to do everything i can to help anyone i encounter improve their life. my life is far from perfect, and i am not a leading expert of anything, but in the field, we do whatever we can to help.

good luck to all! thank you for reading my little bit of information.

Thanks everybody, you have just confirmed something I have been wondering for a very long time. I was friends (until recently) with this person, who seemed like the coolest person to be friends with at first (4 years ago) because he had a very witty, confident personality, over the 4 years of being this persons friend I have noticed several 'faults' he has. I noticed his witty personality is false because when he met this girl he'd met once before, his personality changed into the witty one that I became friends with, and then changed again when she left.

He is a patholical liar, he has lied about everything in his life, he tells everybody he has 4 A* a-levels, when I know for a fact he doesn't have any, because I was there when he dropped out of school months before the exams. He tells everybody he has been accepted into Oxford University, but he keeps 'deferring a year'. He is a complete freeloader, he expects everybody to pay for his nights out, but when he has some money he refuses to buy anybody a drink. He does nothing with his life except sit in his room and expect people to pick him up and take him for a pointless drive, without any consideration for the cost of petrol. He has no desire to do anything with his life and seems happy that way. In his previous relationships, he has cheated on his partners literally at least once a week. He had a 3 year relationship and cheated on his partner almost everyday with randomers of the internet. He has no regrets for his actions, and thinks cheating is normal because he likes sex.

He never has a nice thing to say about anyone or anything, he will moan about ANYTHING, non stop. He bitches about random people walking past all the time.

He says the most disgusting things about his friends behind their backs and finds it funny rather than cruel, He approaches people who he doesn't want my bestfriend and I to have a chance with pulling and tells them nasty vindictive lies so they won't want anything to do with us.

Over the 4 years of being friends with the person he has constantly fallen out with me for no reason what so ever. He's also friends with my bestfriend. He has always been jealous of my relationship with my bestfriend and has constantly attempted to make him fall out with me by making up lies about things we have aparently said about each other. It almost worked until we decided to tell each other everything he has said, and it turns out he has lied about everything, he has taken things we have said and elaborated it 1000%, and has also taken things we have said and turned it around to be the complete opposite of what we have said. He has turned people against each other, and has interfered in peoples lives, destroying some peoples and finds it funny. He never takes the blame for anything, and feels badly done to when people confront him about his moaning and bitching.

It was hard to get rid of him because he made threats about making my life hell, but I did it. He slags me off all the time and will not get a life. The idea of him makes me feel depressed. And I never want to see him ever again.

I was married to either a sociopath or a psychopath for 6 years. We were together for nearly 10. It is amazing to finally realize what I was being put through. My mother noticed shortly after coming to stay with us that something was wrong with my wife. She tried to tell me but I was already too brainwashed by my wife. The wife ended up strangling my mother to gain the inheritance and silence her critic. 2 years later I am still having trouble proving it to local law enforcement since part of my wife's cover up was to befriend them and convince them of my insanity. Just as she did with me against my mother. Thanks so much for the info, and pray that I can get the justice my mother deserves and save my daughter from being further damaged by the person, whatever she is.

i am a sociopath and it. reading the posts before me it seems that people do not understand that it is a ILLNESS not our choosen way of life. i am fighting with the mental health team to help me so please be aware we are not all MONSTERS.

It is my opinion that these terms (simplified or not) are too general to include the infinite 'flavors' of sociopathy. I have come in close

several instances of individuals that exhibit only the lack of empathy - these people, although they are sociopathic, they are able to 'act' empathetic and continue to function. Also, I have seen that the battle to function with their sociopathy fail to retain the facade and then, after a time that is often near the same time relative to the beginning of the reinstitution of the 'acting'. They find that there is a mental time barrier and begin to act out.

Hmmm I did not realize that this was a "personality disorder", but after reading the passage it seemed like it was reading off my exact personality attributes. Well for the most part. I don't think it can be harmful in any way, as long as you realize it. I do not do any drugs or alcohol, because that usually slows down my thought process and makes me depressed. Also I hate being social but found that being social with my friends is completely different. Although I have not been properly diagnosed for this yet, I don't intend on caring either way =).

I am a sociopath. Like the first poster, I don't drain people's bank accounts or abuse them – in fact I have never been violent to anyone.

I am very charming, and know this - I use my charm to make friends with people that are of use to me and to manipulate people both to serve a purpose for me and for entertainment when bored – when for entertainment it is usually over a period of time, ranging from weeks to months – the longest being 18 months, the longer and more complex the manipulation, the more entertaining and accomplished I feel.

I don't care about my friends and when out with them feel so detached, conversing with them feels so forced, especially when we are socialising outside the uni setting about things that have nothing to do with me or what I need them for, but I feel obliged to socialise with them as I know that this is a “normal” thing to do, so in order for me to sustain the friendship, and for me to be able to use them I have to grit my teeth and bear it.

I don’t think I’m a bad person, but I know my friendships with people are false as none of them get to know the real me so they therefore are friends with someone who doesn’t even exist, everyone always says how nice and genuine a person I am, but they don’t realise that I couldn’t give a shit about them, and will end our friendships as soon as they have no use to me anymore – just like I did with people in the past.

I have been sociopathic throughout my school life, always using people – but I did have genuine friends back then, my sociopathic tendencies became more apparent when I left school as I have never made a genuine friend that I could honestly say I cared about since leaving. I use to hate the way I was, and wondered why I was like this before I even knew what the word sociopath was and would medicate myself with alcohol or other drugs, but have now come to accept that it is just the way I am and that I can’t change it.

Wow, feels good to get that off my chest!!! :-)

I belive I am also a Sociopath. I lie when i feel like it, not to empress or to protect, I just lie, and I lie alot. I steal, alot. I steal because I think it is in a way the money I deserve from my parents and that if I don't get it from them I might as well take it. I use my freinds, for things as simple as people to do my homework and people to give me there lunch. My boyfreind, is just a person to me not even what one would consider a freind. When not thinking I automaticlly call my parents 'you people'. I feel like a person looking through the window at the outside world never beign able to really get to it. I can go severel weeks without a word from other people, and don't think much about my actions and how they would effect others.

I was diagnosed in 1992 with ASPD, and on that basis it took me more than ten years to locate a therapist who would not dump me as soon as she received my records after I signed the release. I was more of a pariah than even people with DID (multiple personality), who find it very difficult to get serious help. THEY get exploited; I get rejected. Granted, my behavior occasionally gets some people upset. I used to hide people's important belongings -- house keys, medication, even food, books, etc. -- and I used to embarrass people in public by shouting profanity. And worse things, only occasionally. For example, I stole thirty thousand dollars from my friend/landlady's family, and her father has fourth-stage leukemia. I feel no remorse, and would do it again if I had to live that time period over; she is utterly devastated with guilt, as if it's her fault. It's not; it's my fault. Partly. As for the money, it's not gone without a trace; more than half of it ended up going to her mother, who desperately needed new clothing and home care supplies because she has Alzheimer's disease and hates the idea of a nursing home. So I got the idea to hide the incontinence her mother was experiencing so her father wouldn't know how bad it was, lest he use that as leverage to get his estranged wife carted off to a home. But my idiotic plan WAY backfired. Now, I'm repaying him $200 a month come August, plus selling off stuff to recoup much of the debt. My friend/landlady is a very empathic middle-aged lady and because she keeps telling me, emphatically, that I am "not evil, just sick" and in need of help, I am now involved in intense therapy and some other related things. She was once very angry with me, but when I finally stopped messing with her mind, she said that changed things. As for hopes of being whole, I have almost none. Walking in sunlight, I feel nothing, just deadness, while she feels radiant joy. She loves people. Strangely, this includes me. I spend hours curled up in a ball, not responding to anything; I can't bear to be touched. Everything is flat and grey and empty of meaning. I keep losing weight because everything tastes of ashes or mud. My landlady has a lover who has some sociopathic characteristics (my friend admits to being a "magnet" for sociopaths!), but he can enjoy things like sunshine and warmth and beauty. He tries to talk me into eating, into looking out the car window when we go out; into "thawing the ice" around me. But nothing touches me. Ever. These people think I'm "starved" in some way, but I assert I have no needs. I'm too dead. I hope someone in the field of mental health discovers that there is a way to change this thing. It's like living death. Hell on Earth. For me, yes; and for everyone around me. The only true passion I have ever had is hatred; that seems to have fled me, leaving unbearable emptiness. Sometimes learning about science (NASA; quantum mechanics; etc.) is briefly fun, but then the feeling fades, leaving me empty again. I would endure the pains of remorse if I could grow a conscience; I would push through that maelstrom until I found both love and joy. These friends believe that can happen. But everyone in officialdom says that it absolutely cannot happen. I hope they're wrong...

There is a simple rule of thumb to seperate the psychopath from the sociopath. The former actively enjoys inflicting harm, the latter simply does not care.

The "normal" person has, due to empathy, a negative reaction to things such as pain, suffering, violence, cruelty, deception, etc. The psychopath has a positive reaction to these things. They enjoy them. The sociopath has no reaction at all. They are devoid of empathy but otherwise neutral on the issue.

To use a metaphor, in a Hollywood film a normal person make a good police officer or doctor.. A psychopath would make a good serial killer or big game hunter. A sociopath would make a good hitman or mercenary.

In summary, the sociopath takes no delight or pleasure in actions that bring harm to others (while a psychopath would). They simply don't care one way or another. While a sociopath won't go out and shoot someone without cause, if a burgler breaks into their home they will not hesitate to kill the burgler nor would they lose any sleep over it. No concept of guilt or remorse would ever enter their minds over what they had done, but it doesn't mean that they felt good about it or enjoyed it, either.

While sociopaths don't care about society's morals, some (if not most) still posses their own personal code of ethics. Of course these ethics might seem completely alien to the normal person.

The self-destructive tendencies often associated are not caused by any idea of self-loathing or guilt (the feel neither). Rather, for the severe case they simply don't grant any more favoritism towards themselves than they would to anyone else. Again, it is a lack of attachment - even to their own health. It is not a deliberate attempt at self destruction so much as a disgregard for self preservation.

Metaphorically, you could say that the psychopath has fire in their hearts while the sociopath has ice in their veins. A sociopath does feel true hatred anymore than they feel true love.

The psychopath does, in fact, have empathy, for if they did not then they could not enjoy the pain that they inflict on others. A sociopath is devoid of empathy, thus for them there is neither guilt nor pleasure in inflicting harm. To a sociopath other humans come in three flavors: useful, irrelevant, or in the way.

i think i could be a sociopath as i have shown many of the symptoms described i also seem distant from others feeling like i dont belong, im 18 and my doctor and parents are sending me to a psychiatrist..its doing my head in to be honest.

How can you tell if your own 13 year old daughter is a sociopath? Or could it just be normal lying that all teenagers do?

I am a disabled veteran with PTSD and anxiety. And if that is not complicated enough, I fear my partner is sociopath. She is in constant need to control, becomes very verbally mean and abusive..then has no remorse or even recognizes that she has cause pain. She finds ways of bringing up my conditions to hurt me, as if to mock or put me down. I love her, dearly. But lately I have come to mostly feel as if I can not live like this. She will never admit or even consider the possibility that she is doing anything wrong. Believe me, I know I do my share of wrong things. But I only feel that much more worse with what she does to me. I feel as if I am just a game to her. Is the best for me to find the strength and walk away, never look back? Is there a better life out there for me and do I deserve it? Last of all, how do I get her out of my system to enable me to heal and move on to a life where I am loved and valued?

Many symptoms are similar to symptoms of those in the grip of active addiction. I can attest to this from first hand experience...If you think you may be an addict, stop using ALL mood and mind-altering drugs, seek help to do so, and find a new way to live. I accomplish the "finding a new way to live" part through regular involvement in Narcotics Anonymous. The only ones that can successfully help an addict are OTHER addicts. By the way, just because drugs are removed from the equation does not mean that the addictive (and sociopathic or anti-social) behaviors magically disappear. Usually, they want to find another form to take. Sex, anger, gambling, stealing, it's all connected. That's why the internal growth from doing the 12 steps with another addict is needed. Sorry to go off on a tangent, it's just that I've seen waaay to many addicts misdiagnosed because they are great manipulators.

To the poster before me : You might just be High-Function Autistic or have Asperger's syndrome.

i think i may also be a sociopath... the other night my friend told me she has thought that. i don't manipulate or hurt people. i am just extremely removed from normal life. i've never been emotionally attached to someone, i will lie in the protection of myself, and i'm very paranoid. sometimes i just feel like an observer. i also feel like an actor.. saying the right lines, not really engaging with my friends.. very hard to trust anyone and i always imagine people secretly hate me.

I am a sociopath. I feel myself getting worse too. i steal all the time from my family and people i know, i have no friends, no remorse or guilt about anything. My emotions are fake and it disgusts me so i drink and smoke in the hope that ill snap out of all this madness. how do i get my old self back? i was made this way

this site is interesting as it gives a little insight into the behaviour of a sociopath. personally, i am a little disgruntled to learn that a few online psychology tests point out that i have strong sociopath tendencies (or complete and utter jerkness beyond belief). i always thought it was me just being overly strong headed but i am getting a little worried by my lack of emphathy for others as my friends have pointed out and my constant need to lie (for no apparent reason). maybe i'm being totally paranoid but i would like to see some websites out there with some self-help. even if i don't have sociopath tendencies, it would be nice to avoid nuturing the behaviour before i get really bad. especially since i have a future ahead of me.

Could you still be a sociopath if you are not a compulsive liar? I am 22 and although as a child I lied constantly about the most stupid of things I try not to lie anymore. I am however manipulative but when I am I recognize it and feel stupid and guilty, (for while) but I can’t stop myself regardless of how hard I try. At one point I thought I had a border line personality disorder, (because I know I have some type of mental health problem as does the majority of my family) but my manipulative nature, the drinking in order to become sociable and my constant ‘acting’ when meeting people on a day to day basis links with this disorder however, I do care what people think of me and want to change but this does not seem to link with the disorder. So I’m still confused am I just be as the above posts, a jerk, or am I actually sick?

I think that too many people have been coined sociopaths when all they are is a compulsive liar or just a plain jerk, i am studying behavioural science at the University of New South Whales and i have interviewed numerous people who are beleived to be sociopaths, yet i hold back on assumptions like this until i make that intellectual breakthrough upon ones' mind, which takes months in some cases. All i am trying to say is dont assume someone is a sociopath just because they manipulate and compulsively lie all the time, there are plenty more diagnosis' that are far more accurate than the infamous 'sociopath'....

Thank you for your simplified analysis of what a sociopath is. I have been quite confused about sociopathic and narssisstic disorder and am not sure if they are related or some peoples traits have a combination. I don't think all can be put in one box as the man who wrote first said. I tend to agree. My ex like the lady here i have two children too and been seperated for 7 years still continues to lie. harass and abuse me in court. Its all about power and control, yet he has a new ex with another child but continues to make my life a misery. He is a cronic drug and alcohol user and very deluded, however with his charm and intelligence, false identity, he has the ability to convince people he is right, but not always eventually people find out the truth, once released from his spell. He never takes resposibility for his actions and blames everyone else for everything including mimimizing violence which he has inflicted on me and others in the past and cruelty to animals. He is like a jeckle and hyde. Like the other person said, a monster, and has had me trapped in his snare for many years. I am now at that point where I too want to protect my children and in the process of going through the courts and exposing him. Done it before and the good thing about my ex is that he can't control himself in court and humiliates me there too, so the judges see him for what he is. I beleive you have to finally stand up to their games and intimidation, and expose these men/women, unfortunaltly through the courts, for me. When you have had enough you will do it as things have to be brought into the light otherwise the deception and manilpulation continues. It is a sickness and teribly damaging to those who involve themselves with these type of men and women.

I had a child with a sociopath. He's already used the courts to harass, abuse and control me. He's able to convince lawyers, guardian ad litem and judge, despite having his ex-wife an my side and taking excellent notes of things that happened. How can I protect myself and my child in the future from this monster?

I was married to a Sociopath for two years. He was a pathological liar and an effective "charmer". Our marriage ended because I was too smart and too distrusting and usually "caught" him in the act of being deceitful (either during or after the untruth was told). I was pulled in by his "lies and charm" until I found out the truth and discovered that his family, his college education, his lack of a criminal background....ALL of it was fabricated. The only thing I hate is that I can't warn other women who get involved with him about the things it took me years to discover!

I'm a sociopath. I am being completely honest when I say this. I'll agree that yes, I lie often and I do "charm" with a fake facade perhaps for selfish reasons. Yet I do not like the fact that most articles portray a person with this "condition" like they do. I don't drain people's bank accounts or abuse them. Yes I feel a utter lack of empathy for people, but it does not insure that just because I could not care less that I'll harm them. You put negative connotations about a problem that I can but help but have. I live my life the way I want to and that doesn't involve doing stupid things that could ruin my lifestyle.