What is a Rebound Relationship?

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Following a painful romantic break-up, some people enter into a new relationship almost immediately, often with less-than-stellar results. Dating too soon after an emotionally charged break-up is known as a rebound relationship, and is almost always considered a bad idea for all parties involved. A person in a rebound relationship may have great difficulty distinguishing between the old romantic partner and the new one, for instance.

Whenever a romantic relationship ends, whether amicably or painfully, both parties should allow themselves to go through a real grieving process before pursuing new relationships. In essence, there has been a "death" of a valued relationship, and few people can recover from such an injury in only a few days or weeks. While the prospect of dating someone new, especially someone who has been kept off-limits during the old relationship, may sound like a cure, a rebound relationship rarely, if ever, ends well.

Another problem with a rebound relationship is motivation. Some people who feel victimized or humiliated by a bad breakup may feel the need to start a new relationship simply to prove they are indeed over the old one. Some rebound relationships are primarily directed at former partners, either in an effort to generate feelings of jealousy or to remind them of what they gave up. Neither tactic is a particularly healthy reason to pursue a rebound relationship, and the new partner is not always as understanding or conspiratorial as one might hope.

There are times when a person may feel he or she has fully recovered from a break-up and is truly prepared to re-enter the dating scene, but this may be a premature assessment. If a new relationship starts too soon after a painful break-up, the new partner may become little more than a sounding board for all of the negatives intended for the former partner. Constant comparisons to a former boyfriend or girlfriend can be a sign of an unhealthy rebound relationship, as well as the careful avoidance of almost all dating venues associated with the former relationship.

Because there will almost inevitably be a new relationship following the dissolution of an old one, it is important to recognize the difference between a new healthy relationship and an unhealthy rebound relationship. Much like a widow or widower, a spurned partner may want to establish a reasonable hiatus from dating until he or she is emotionally ready. Personal counseling may also help prevent someone from entering into a shallow or unhealthy rebound relationship until his or her self-esteem has been fully restored.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to seek out companionship following a painful break-up, but you owe it to yourself and your new partner to make sure the new relationship is based in reality, not a ghost in the machine.

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5
Is it possible for the rebounder that left the person they rebounded with to go back to their ex then realize they no longer want the ex an now want to go back to the person they rebounded with in the beginning?
- anon48087
4
My first rule of thumb: If it hurts don't do that.

If my gut repeatedly tells me something is wrong with my relationship; there *is* something wrong, even if it's *me*!

Sometimes a *mediator* will help, mostly I believe in getting away fast and clean and *immediately*!!!

- screenwriter
3
how can i know that my rebound partner is not not a ghost in the machine. as I am having the a rebound relation and it is affecting my goals and my work.
- anon25300
2
This article on "Rebound Relationship" was very interesting. I enjoy every article sent to me.
- nadiah10685
1
Anyone who finds themselves repeatedly settling for rebound relationships may be co-dependent in which case there are remedies if a person is willing to get honest. Being all alone is not a fate worse than death, but believing that could indicate that you are a codependent!
- screenwriter

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Written by Michael Pollick
Last Modified: 09 October 2009

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