I am glad I googled this article. In my late thirties, and as a mother of three beautiful kids, and a wife to a wonderful man, I realized I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother.

All my life, I have tried my best to satisfy her, and nothing was ever good enough. If I got a B on a test, I was ridiculed, sometimes even beaten. My diaries were read, my friends pushed away from me. The goal was to ruin my self esteem, push me away from any other person/relationship, so I would exist only to adore and satisfy her.

I developed an eating disorder, and later in life and college could not function properly. Regardless of the circumstances, I suffered to the point of self destruction to make good grades, to make money (even as a student) so I could give my mother some. When tired and exhausted, I would resort to food to numb me and bring comfort into my life. Having a full stomach to the point when it physically hurt would make me feel numb enough on the inside so I could "feel better" while dealing with her demands on me.

Marriage, living away from home and a wonderful father (totally opposite of her) helped me forget some of the childhood and young adult traumas, but I always felt her presence deep down in my soul.

After my father passed away, I felt that I had to help her, regardless of the past. I became close to her (again), and helped her financially and emotionally. She used this to her advantage, again to make me feel miserable, energy-less and numb, just like when I was a little girl. I would neglect my kids and just lie on the floor crying, knowing that there is nothing I can do to resolve the issue.

Finally, I have decided to move on and limit my relationship with her, and in this way protect not only myself, but also my children, and my husband. When narcissism has taken an extreme form, I strongly believe there is no cure for such a person.

I have been reading this topic with great interest. I wonder if my mother could be characterized as having a narcissistic personality disorder.

My mom was the type of person who would always crave the spotlight in family or public gatherings. She always bragged that it was the “Leo” side of her (star sign) that made her attract others. I recall many times in my life where she would be the main person talking and would not be so interested in hearing others contribute to the conversation. If anybody had a different opinion on a subject, my sister and I would hear all about it later. In private, she could quickly blow up in a rage and subject us to verbal abuse and physical abuse, especially towards my older sister. My mother’s blow outs were draining. We were called everything in the book. But if the phone rang and it was not a relative, she could, at the drop of a dime, turn off her rage and be polite and funny on the phone.

After each of these episodes, it was never talked about again. My mother would never try to discuss problems as a family should. It was always somebody doing something against her. She has never up to this day apologized -- ever -- for her behavior. She always played the victim card and attributed her behavior as a result of some external factor (her ex-husband, her mother, her job, her ungrateful children). She never pointed the finger at herself. She was never wrong.

At some point, I began to ask myself if my mother actually lacked real empathy. Everybody in our family is estranged from her, except my sister, who is more forgiving. However, I’m afraid my mother only sees her as an easy mark.

Growing up, all I heard was how terrible my aunt and uncle were, how terrible my grandmother was, and how terrible my father was. After I left the house and moved on with my life, I was able to establish good and loving relationships with all those people. My mother accused me and my sister of high treason and threatened that karma would come back to haunt me. But now I realize there was a darker reason why she could not sustain those relationships.

Even today, if I were in the same room with my mother, I would not be comfortable. I would always be on my guard and not allow her to know too much of my life, which in the past she has used in demeaning ways against me. Could she have this condition?

I'm in a position where I know. I have a seven year old niece who has narcissistic sociopath personality disorder. Her mother has traits of it too. I've had to wash my hands of these two people in order to protect my family.

It was genes that came from our own mother. These people are beyond cold and can never be helped.

Gosh, the posts above are all so true. The charisma is the first trait usually. Then they try to charm you into answering something or doing something that you don't really think is appropriate, but they charm you into thinking oh, it's just for fun or being sexy. Once you answer or accept, they dig one level deeper, and so on, until you feel stupid. If this is a romantic relationship, you may feel you have to be a better, sexier, stronger, less sensitive (the list goes on) person than you are.

Be very aware of these feelings as they arise, they are caused by the narcissist implying and inferring through slights disguised within complimentary conversation. As soon as you start to question your worth and your goodness and your sexiness, or your behavior or value as a woman, you know you are with a narcissist. He thrives on making a show putting you on a pedestal while making you doubt yourself more day in, day out, until he can have his total way with you.

Beware ever doing something illegal or naked or embarrassing, because in the end when you want to leave, he will post it on the internet, show it to your boss in an attempt to get you fired, embarrass you in front all your friends and associates -- in other words, destroy you -- if he doesn't actually try to kill you.

One big key: if you find that you cannot express to him sadness and hurt as a result of his insensitive behavior to you without him turning it around on you, saying you are ungrateful and how dare you put him down because of all he's done for you, you know he is a narcissist.

I was with a real super narcissist ten years ago. I was afraid of breaking up with him, in fear of what he might do as he implied he would destroy all my belongings, discredit me to my boss by calling her on my sick days and telling her he didn't know where I was and could she tell him, calling friendly employees and saying untrue things which made them avoid me when I needed as many friends as possible. Of course, he was "self-employed" and home all the time (another key feature because they cannot work with others). The list goes on.

You never get over their insincere crocodile tears and in the end how they never loved you, even though they can be the most poetic. They only used you for you were their plaything, slave, toy, something to manipulate for their conceited pleasure.

I thought this guy was an odd occurrence, but I find there are an abundance of people like this out there. Because I am friendly and giving, and attractive, and most importantly, was emotionally abused as a child, I seem to be a target for N's. They try one manipulation then another to test you, if you are a trusting person with a good heart.

I've learned since to always question odd statements that people make. If the person is evasive, especially about something that isn't such a personal matter, he is lying. If he's a narcissist, he'll quickly stop being too interested in you, if he can see you won't take no for an answer to something that doesn't sit well.

I now am skilled enough to know a narcissist just by using my intuition. Listen to your body and mind's reaction to a person when they approach you and sometimes you can spot it right off. It is OK to judge people quickly and react for self- preservation. You can choose not to interact with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable, and you don't have to waste your time trying to find out why. Just walk away.

And if you actually know someone fits the narcissistic personality profile, don't walk, run! There is no cure, because they will never, ever admit they are wrong, unless it is only a temporary ploy to get something bigger and better from you. Do not let any website or psychologist give you false hope. A normal person who loves another person will do whatever it takes to understand and work with you on life, not demand and have selfish expectations that make you feel like you are "less-than".

I am in my early 20s. I am (or I prefer "was") the daughter of a narcissistic sociopath father. This man was a real bleep. Extremely physically abusive the early years of his marriage, toward my mother and my siblings and me. He would do everything listed above, except his "drug/alcohol" was online gaming-- it was his life. Wake up, play for an hour, go to work, come home, immediately go on the computer, demand food from me, play until late, take a shower, bed, and the next day, same thing. He was extremely vindictive, manipulative, and emotionally abusive -- everything was to the dismay of his children. There was no "I'm proud of you," or "I love you," through words nor actions. However, to the outside world, like to neighbors, fellow churchgoers, etc, he would put on this perfect act of sweetness and a loving personality. But behind doors was threatening to kill my mother, throwing us against walls, etc.

All throughout my school years, I struggled with low feelings of self worth, always felt ugly, and never, ever imagined myself being successful in anything. I believe God has healed me of much of the damage he has done, and has brought me out of/over things to understand them, thus giving me strength. As odd as it sounds, I'm glad to an extent that these things did happen, because now, I can see a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist and just plain liars from a mile away. I take the precautions necessary to avoid them, and know how to deal with them.

I yearned in my later childhood for the divorce. When it happened, people felt the need to comfort me, but in my heart I was overjoyed. We didn't have to live with that anymore. We told our mother, "Mom, we don't care if we have to live in a cardboard box. We (Mother and children) are all together."

I grew up a tiny bit in the Christian community. I've gone through my own tests, trials, and questions concerning God, and I have chosen to believe in the witness of Jesus Christ, not out of comfort bounds, but real belief in comparison to anything else.

But the one thing I absolutely cannot stand about any branch of Christianity is the much neglected and misconstrued topic of divorce. Over the near-20-year marriage of my parents, they had gone to several Christian family counselors. My mother would tell them all, “He's beating me, he's beating our children!” And all they would do is slap the man on the wrist, tell him he was wrong, and not do anything about it. Only one pastor, a very renowned and famous pastor, ironic as I see it, ever told my mother, "Get a divorce... it's only a matter of time before he does something." And that's the way I believe it should be approached. You can argue that God didn't intend for divorce -- which I believe -- but God did not intend for marriage to be a brutally abusive nightmare under the reign of a man with obvious mental issues. One woman I heard on a Christian radio station would exclaim, "I don't care what anyone says: nothing good has ever come out of divorce!" I was ticked. Yeah, you're right, nothing good -- except us staying alive. God's intent is not that anyone stay in a guaranteed death bind- that is not "fruitful."

Concerning Christian families, I can say that I've seen lots of Christian husbands/fathers love the right way, and not slaughter what the Bible says about marriage, which is not to, "Do what thy husband says no matter what," but simply obey him, unless it comes into conflict with something that is obviously wrong. Regardless of religion, human nature is human nature, and abusive men will use any means to be abusive: Christian, Hindu, Islam, agnostic, black, white, green, Republican, Democrat, etc.

Anyway, the man is essentially a robot. If he sees no benefit in you, you are "cast aside." I do not see him a victim, but as someone fully responsible for all his actions. Hell, I'm a victim, but is that an excuse for me to be abusive toward anyone?

Finally, I came to a clear understanding of him, about a year ago, and stopped striving to have a relationship with him. In a nutshell, he's denied me as his child, and here's how I view it: "Because you hath denied me as your Savior, in the same I shall deny you before My Father." Because he denied me all the most precious years of my life as his daughter, I deny him as my father. At this point, if anyone asks me, I simply say I don't have a father, because, truthfully, I didn't. He was just a monster in our house.

Anyway! Thought I might give a bit of a testimony as a child of neglect, but I believe I've been healed (still being healed, as it is.) I'm so very happy to say that, I have nothing to do with this man. Ever. He will never have my phone number, never have my address, never know what I do for a living, never know I have children. Never. And it feels so good. I feel free.

Many of the world's dictators in the past and in present day are narcissistic sociopaths. They may think that they are on the very highest level of society. They demand praise and royalty in many forms from their subjects.

Never allowing criticism, especially about his government, he brings down punishment on the people.

His people have few, if any rights. Depending on economic or political situations, he manipulates what people can have or do.

Whenever a crisis occurs, like an uprising,or a rebellion, he goes from scary to dangerous. He will begin to imprison and kill those who stand up to him.

It's probably true that with narcissistic personalities with sociopathic tendencies, the root of the problem begins with a childhood where their basic needs were not met, so they have to compensate with other behaviors. Of course, genetics probably plays some role also.

In our society, we have some people with mild narcissistic traits. They like to be the center of attention and need constant attention and praise. They cope well enough in jobs and relationships, but are not very happy.

Then up the line, there are those who are charismatic leaders. They are charming and can rationalize everything they do - legal or not. They may manipulate vulnerable people to give money in the name of God, and then keep it all. These kinds of narcissistic sociopaths are the ones we need protection from.

@Sunshine31 - I think that people that are narcissistic on some level must always have a void because it is impossible for everyone to always praise you and think you are terrific. After a while, people get tired of people like this because a healthy relationship involves a certain level of give and take and with the narcissist it is always about them.

It is like they are never satisfied and can’t go out and just enjoy life like regular people do. They always have to have the spotlight on themselves which probably turns off the very people that they need to befriend in order to change their life.

The other problem that they have is that since they have such a high opinion of themselves they will never seek therapy because they feel that it is everyone else’ fault. I read that even when people do seek therapy it often takes years to undo all of that destructive thinking.

@Oasis11 -People that are narcissistic also hold grudges like you have never seen. If you even attempt to confront a narcissist about their problems they will not only react with rage but will stop talking to you altogether. I have a cousin that is like this and whatever she says goes because her opinion is superior to others and you don’t want to argue with her.

People like her also take advantage of every possible situation that will benefit them with no regards to how others feel. For example, when my uncle died he had no will but a substantial bank account. My other cousin that was my uncle’s legal guardian had signing rights on the account cashed out the account on the advice of the narcissist and then the narcissist took the entire amount of money and spent it on herself instead of opening an account for both of them like she said she was going to do.

My other cousin confronted her and she began a battle with her and refused to talk to her. This is a how narcissist works. They abuse people and then turn things around and make it look like it is the other person’s fault. They are master manipulators.

I know of a few people in my family that have a narcissistic personality disorder, and I will tell you when you meet someone like this you will never forget it. They tend to initially become very engaging and are even charming. They try to impress you will their job status or the celebrities that they rubbed elbows with.

They essentially continue to talk about themselves constantly and if you should mention some success that you’ve experienced they really downplay the information or almost ignore it. The reason is simple. They need to have the spotlight on them all of the time and if anything competes with that they ignore it.

They are also very competitive and can be very envious if they feel that someone else if better off than they are. This is why a relationship with a person that has a narcissistic personality disorder is not very fulfilling because there is really no depth to a person in a relationship like that. Everything is very superficial and they need constant validation from others.

It is really exhausting to be involved with a person like this because you will always be on the losing end of the battle.