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What do People Mean When They Refer to an 800 Pound Gorilla? |
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An 800 pound gorilla in your living room would be difficult to ignore for long, much like an elephant or a 400 pound canary. All of these animals have been used to refer to an obvious problem or issue that everyone acknowledges but rarely discusses. An 800 pound gorilla in the living room is used figuratively to represent the issue being avoided. Everyone knows it's there, but no one feels like talking about it. There are a number of reasons why people may have a figurative 800 pound gorilla in the living room. As another popular expression points out, denial is not just a river in Egypt. Exposing the 800 pound gorilla in the living room may create more problems than it would solve if not approached carefully. Family members of an active alcoholic, for example, may find it easier emotionally to downplay the damage his or her behavior causes. Another reason for the 800 pound gorilla scenario could be personal guilt or shame. Parents and siblings of a morbidly obese child may choose to ignore the warning signs of overeating in order to protect the child's fragile sense of self-worth. The weight issue can easily become an 800 pound gorilla in the living room, since confronting the child directly about his or her eating habits could open up other unresolved family issues. The 800 pound gorilla can also appear in other social circumstances. A friend's abrasive spouse or a testy co-worker could easily become the 800 pound gorilla in a social circle. Everyone may be aware of this person's personality quirks, but no one wants to risk alienating the spouse or the employee completely. Instead, there is a tacit agreement not to bring up the subject in public. Insulting an 800 pound gorilla directly could have devastating effects on the living room furniture, so to speak. There are those who believe that the best way to get rid of the 800 pound gorilla in the living room is to find out what he wants and give it to him. Perhaps the 800 pound gorilla will choose to leave the house voluntarily once he receives the attention he craves. If people continue to leave a serious issue unresolved because of fear or the risk of social embarrassment, the figurative 800 pound gorilla will only grow larger.
Written by
Michael Pollick
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