Many children claim that they hate school, and they may ask or beg not to go. This can be a signal that your child is having difficulty making friends, is having problems with other students, or has a learning challenge. Talking with your child and working closely with the school can help reduce a child's dislike. Kids may not always enjoy going to class, but as problems are dealt with, it may seem a less threatening place. Remember also that a child is not likely to respect a school or his or her teachers unless you pay them due respect as well.
Children may dislike school for very valid reasons. These can be broken down into three categories: social ostracism, learning challenges, and difficulty functioning in the environment, as with kids with hyperactivity. All of these reasons should be taken seriously, and investigated. The first thing a parent must do is find out what is causing problems at school. Talk to kids first, and let them explain any problems. When children can't give you enough information, talk to the child's teachers, as many have a lot of ideas about what may be causing difficulties.
A child who has no friends, for example, may find school a very lonely place. If the child is unsuccessful at making friends, ask the assistance of a teacher or the principal in pairing the child with another person who might need a friend as well. Schools often get new students too, and a child without friends might volunteer to be the "tour guide" for a new student in his or her class.
Many schools have friendship clubs that can help a child learn the ways to be a good friend. Often, kids who attend friendship clubs end up becoming friends as they practice new social skills. Alternately, new skills may be practiced on longtime classmates. Parents can facilitate by setting up play dates in the afternoon or on weekends for kids to try out friendship in a less competitive environment.
In some cases, a child doesn't like school because of teasing or bullying. Even though most schools have zero tolerance policies about such behavior, unless the teasing is directly observed, it may not be obvious to teachers or staff. Finding out from a child if there are one or more kids making life difficult can help put an end to bullying. It's important to stay proactive on this, and continue to report any instances of a return of bullying or teasing behavior.
Children who are having a hard time keeping up with the academics may also claim to hate school. It has to be very difficult for a child to realize that everyone else seems to be able to understand things that elude him or her. Answering questions wrong or getting poor grades are good indications that the child is challenged, perhaps too much, by the curricula.
Overall poor performance in school and on standardized tests suggests kids may have learning challenges or learning differences. If a child's performance has declined, you should ask for your child to be tested to rule out learning disabilities. When any disabilities are identified, assistance from the school can result in a more positive attitude.
Kids with attentional disorders often find the very act of sitting still challenging and difficult. Further, a teacher may inadvertently worsen dislike of school by calling attention to the problem repeatedly, or by punishing the child for failure to focus. Often, such punishment means inaccessibility to things like recess, the one chance the child has to burn off the energy that keeps him or her from being still.
Being aware of attentional issues is important to the parent because he or she can help the teacher arrive at a system of rewards, rather than punishment, for behavior. When a child is diagnosed with any type of learning disorder, schools can make specific plans, called Individualized Education Programs (IEP) for dealing with ongoing issues.
Learning disabilities and poor attention span may result in social ostracism. Therefore, a child with problems academically may also have fewer friends. Unfortunately, too, kids often judge other children on not only how they behave now, but also how they behaved in the past. So allowing your child to have a first chance with new schoolmates is ideal, since these students don't have years of accumulated memories about the child.
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anon268722
Post 31 |
My son hates school. He is nine now and in third grade. He prefers to stay home than take part in whatever is scheduled at school, and even absent during exams if we don't follow up on him. What shall I do? I have planned to leave him at home for the next year so that he may realize the difference and get the initiative to go to school. What do you say? Please forward your comments about my idea. |
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anon266980
Post 29 |
Some kids hate school because they feel that school is unnecessary and useless. |
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anon257898
Post 27 |
Make your kids go to school, and discipline them if they don't. It's the only solution. Otherwise, they may grow up to be some very difficult, lazy and annoying teenagers. And remember don't feed them McDonald's. It's scientifically proven that junk food makes the brain slow due to lack of vitamins, proteins and. pretty much everything else but sugar and fat. Also, they might have a problem at school. Maybe they're being mocked or do not have any friends. It could result in some kind of depression or stress caused in school. By the way: don't let your kids play the following games: World of Warcraft, Diablo, League of Legends and any other mmorpg/mmorpg; it will cause depression and laziness, plus they'll lose their friends and get fat and stuff. They will pretty much ruin their lives. And if they're already are playing one or more of these games, you'll need to seek counseling. Your 13 year old son is probably afraid of someone in his class, maybe the bully, or the teacher. Maybe he's experiencing some difficulty with homework, or girls or something. Try playing a game with him, and when he's really concentrating, ask him if he likes any girls in his class, followed up by deeper questions like, is anybody mocking you. Good luck. Morten R. |
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anon249934
Post 26 |
If your child is hating school you need to be on the lookout for depression. Whatever the cause, going through school depressed is going to have a huge impact on their future. Get them help now. Don't wait. |
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anon183306
Post 25 |
Yeah, homeschooling is an outstanding alternative for kids that can't stand school. You can try to argue with them, but if they are unhappy, they simply won't be successful. Look into home-schools and/or charter schools! --Ryan T. |
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anon177771
Post 24 |
You know, with regards to middle and high school, every school really is different and there are finally options. If your kids hate the local school, absolutely look into charter schools and even home study programs. I teach high school math and science and absolutely don't blame the kids who don't like what it has become. I'd rather see my kids in a tiny school with fewer friends, but happy, than have them be lost in the large mill that many schools have become. Good luck. Ryan T., author of "In Defense of the American Teen" |
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anon169230
Post 23 |
My son is 5 in kindergarten, loved preschoool. but now he finds school boring. I have no idea what i can do to make him find school interesting. He is very bright, but every morning, its the same thing over and over. Ever since kindergarten started he has found school boring. I am pulling my hair out! I don't know what to do! |
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emily10
Post 22 |
Ask him if he's got friends at school. |
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emily10
Post 21 |
I am ten and i hate school but if you get to listen and concentrate then you are able to like school. The key to liking school is to have loads of friends. |
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anon162907
Post 20 |
I went through the same thing with my son now 13 and pulled him out and home schooled. Year and half later we are actually considering unschooling. This book might help online "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education." |
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anon155261
Post 19 |
My child is in the fourth grade and dislikes school. I've talked to other parents in his class. Their children also dislike the particular teacher he has. She constantly punishes the class by not allowing indoor or outdoor recess. She makes them work right through it. She refuses to have meetings with parents. Always has an excuse. Maybe it's your teacher. |
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anon153190
Post 18 |
My bright little boy started school a year and a half ago since the moment he started his behaviour changed the teacher referred him to a communication specialist and they assessed him for asperger's when they did they found his comprehension of the world was three years above his age. He started in Sept with a new teacher and within three weeks he was doing so well and the teacher loves him. We took him away on holiday (in term time, as we are building our own house and can't go in summer holidays) and when he has gone back to school he has reverted to the same behaviour the teacher thinks he is choosing to ignore what she has asked of him. They are being firm but fair and trying to deal with him in the same way they did in sept. Why is he acting this way? He is a lovely boy, a bright boy. |
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anon148242
Post 17 |
my son is 8, and he does show traits of autism although not enough to be autistic. He hates school, always has. cries and runs away every day. He makes me feel like a failure in front of the other moms at the school. I bribe him constantly daily to go to school, and it costs me a fortune. He is destructive, cuts everything up, draws everywhere. Today i have asked the sen teacher to find him a chore to do every morning to make him feel it's important for him to go to school to make sure the job gets done. One day it will all turn good but for now i live in hope. |
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anon138735
Post 16 |
My daughter is 15, and she hates school. The peer pressure is great. She feels like she does not fit in at all. She cries on the way to school. I would have to walk her to class. It hurts my heart to see her miserable. |
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anon136315
Post 15 |
What about homeschooling your children? My child hated school and was angry all the time. We took him out of the system and we have never looked back. He is a happy well adjusted teen now. He makes friends easily and now enjoys life. I love having him home so much we now homeschool all our children. Lots of social events and out of school sports fix all the "what about socialisation" questions and the kids just get so much out of it and so do I. I hated maths at school and now I actually get it. |
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anon134321
Post 14 |
My daughter is 12. She's in 7th grade and is going to a new school. Once she reached 7th grade, she has become a demon child, she hates going to school, and I have no idea why! She never does her homework and she used to be a straight A student. It's causing so much stress in our family. Help! |
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anon127573
Post 13 |
My daughter is in her teens and is finding it very hard at school. On Sunday night she was crying and said she was depressed. One of the reasons was because she hated school. She hated everything about it. She hated the lessons, the teachers, traveling to school and coming home from school. She is always finding it hard to concentrate during the lessons. She is very sensitive at the moment and she has missed out on so much lately her attendance is very low as well. She has had a lot of troubles in the past she has seen a teacher and spoke about her problems. She got put in a group at school but she refused to talk to them. she only wanted the one teacher as she finds it hard to get along with people. I don't think changing schools would help. she is the type of child who will hate any school she goes to. but she wants a good education and she wants to do well in GCSE and she doesn't want to miss out on any of the trips in school, or prom. Please help. |
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anon124054
Post 12 |
my son is eight and school has turned him into a demon child. he says he gets bullied and made fun of. It's a fight every day to get him to go. it's having a huge effect on our home life also. he is destructive and not responsive to discipline. here's a funny, loving little boy gone bad because of constantly being picked on by his peers. His self esteem is gone. pray for him. c Bruno |
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anon121940
Post 11 |
My little boy is only four and just started reception. For the first three weeks he loved it, then it all changed. He started getting bullied by the older children in the playground and one child in his class punched him in the face. Even though I pointed out each incident to the teachers and they assured me they would look after him, they did nothing. My little boy would even try and run away. We are on holiday at the moment and when we return he is going to a different school but i am still really worried. When we visited the school for the morning he cried three times even with me there. |
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anon119146
Post 10 |
my son is seven, he started out loving school but by the end of first grade he hates it. we have to fight him to go. i keep trying to tell the teacher something is wrong, but the only thing she says is he just doesn't pay attention. this is a kid who still writes yet, i talk to his after school care provider who helps with his homework and she says she never sees a problem. what can i do? |
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anon117644
Post 9 |
My son is a child with Autism and hates school as well. He was homeschooled for four years and is now in a school with other children with autism. He claims that he hated homeschool and hates this school even more. This is so frustrating. On one hand, we want our children to enjoy their days while they learn and on the other hand, we know our children need to learn and grow and sometimes discomfort is involved. Maybe I should have taken the advice of a psychologist who told me when our son was five to "start my own school"! |
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anon114766
Post 8 |
This whole article is a big pile of feel-good nonsense designed to make parents blameless for a dysfunctional home environment. If all else fails, the child then has ADD or ADHD so put him on either Ritalin or Strattera. This is total nonsense in most cases. These medications should only be used if it is determined that there is no relevant dysfunctionality in the home. There isn't that much you can do if the child isn't motivated. Drugs become the panacea for home failure. Parents can then send the child off to a mental health professional but the reality is, the whole family has to go. |
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anon112503
Post 7 |
Our son is 13 and feels like everyone, teachers and students alike, hate him. He seems to do everything he can to get kicked out of class. We take him to a mental health specialist, we've asked for a psycho/ed evaluation. I'm sitting here in tears because I just had yet another phone call from the principal. |
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anon110567
Post 6 |
My son is the same. He is 12 and cries all the time. He gets angry when i tell him he has to go and thinks i want to send him there to make him unhappy. He is bullied a lot and it puts a lot of stress on the whole family. The bullies have followed him home and gather outside the house causing trouble, too. I need help. |
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anon106963
Post 5 |
My daughter is 10 and in fourth grade and this Monday is the start of school. From pre-school on, she has hated school. What can i do? It is back to "you're going now." Again. Help please. |
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anon92865
Post 4 |
My son hated school from the first day. Five years later he still hated it. He found the work difficult and the teachers would get annoyed with him for being slow at completing things. Eventually, after many meetings with teachers, I decided that the only solution was to home school him. Although this has been difficult, my son worked hard and he has just completed his exams and has a place at college. I know I did the right thing for my son in taking him out of school. Sometimes school just doesn't work. My heart goes out to any parents who find themselves in this situation. |
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anon91571
Post 3 |
my son is only six but he finds school very uninteresting and makes little effort to do his best, though he works great with me at home. I can't tell if this is normal, or if it is right for me to be anxious that his attitude will become permanent. |
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anon85404
Post 2 |
My son is the same, 12 starting high school, cries all the time, is overreacting to everything, feels overwhelmed and is making life hard for his siblings. We have talked to the school and they say this is normal and that he is doing 'well'. We have tried to help him with time management, talking through situations, even sitting with him to do homework but he just 'fights' the whole way. He feels like everyone is against him both at school and at home. I don't know what to do. |
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anon71318
Post 1 |
help. my son is 13 and hates school. he has school counseling and i have had a word with his teachers he keeps crying when you mention school. I don't know what to do. |
