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What Are the Signs of a Narcissistic Daughter?

Some signs that can be indicative of a narcissistic daughter are social issues, abnormally high self-pride and the inability to take responsibility for mistakes.
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  • Written By: Valerie Goldberg
  • Edited By: Angela B.
  • Last Modified Date: 30 September 2014
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Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition in which a person believes he or she is better than everyone else. Narcissism is often associated with adults, but the early stages of the disorder can begin in childhood. Mothers who are concerned that their daughters may be narcissistic should be on the lookout for classic early warning signs. Some signs that can be indicative of a narcissistic daughter are social issues, abnormally high self-pride and the inability to take responsibility for mistakes.

A narcissistic daughter may have trouble getting along with siblings and classmates. While some children may try to change themselves to fit in with a peer group, narcissistic children often believe their own personal habits and fashion sense are better than their peers. This attitude can make other children view the narcissistic child in a negative light. A child with narcissistic tendencies also may have no sympathy or compassion for others. If a friend gets in an argument on the playground or skins a knee and turns to the narcissistic child for help, the friend may receive no empathy or support in return and may not want to continue the friendship.

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Parents typically encourage their children to have positive self-esteem, but a narcissistic daughter will take this message to the next level. Young people with narcissistic tendencies can have inflated egos and participate in activities not because they enjoy them, but because they love winning and the corresponding attention. A child who truly has an interest in basketball will continue with the sport even after the disappointment of losing a few games. If a child wants to a quit a sport every time he or she loses so he or she can move onto another activity involving praise, then this can be a sign of narcissism.

Neither young nor old narcissists like to be held accountable. A child who constantly fails tests but blames the teacher or a kid who calls people names and then blames the victim could be suffering from early signs of narcissism. Narcissistic kids also may break rules because they believe they are so perfect that rules do not apply to them.

A mother or father who believes he or she has a narcissistic daughter should set up an appointment with a mental health professional. Many kids go through phases as they learn and grow, and it can be difficult for parents to determine if they are truly dealing with a narcissistic daughter or just a young person who is testing the waters. Counselors and psychologists have questionnaires that can be used to make a proper diagnosis.

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mother1011
Post 7

@anon350355 and anon945739: As I was reading your posts, I couldn't help but cry with you. I am a mother of a narcissistic adult daughter, as well. She is now 23, and we have been putting up with this abuse from her for seven years. Your stories are my stories too.

I love my daughter a lot. I think she is beautiful, smart and there are so many things I love about her. Yet, no matter how much I try to build her up with loving words, she belittles me, is disrespectful, and starts arguments for no reason. I don't expect her to be perfect, but I do expect her to be nice. I have been her only cheerleader when the rest of the world has knocked her down. I have never belittled her. I am a very positive person while she is always very negative. I have financially supported her, even though I couldn’t afford it and pay my own bills, too. All I got was a disrespectful attitude. In spite of all this, she lies to family members and friends, and always makes others think she is the victim and I am the villain.

The only time she is nice to me or contacts me is when she wants money. She does not acknowledge me on Mother’s Day or my birthday, and never comes over on holidays. She is now pregnant which makes things even harder because she doesn't have a supportive boyfriend.

After seven years, I have learned that being nice no longer works, and I've had to make the painful decision of cutting ties with her unless she repents. I am not willing to be belittled and disrespected by her any longer. This was a very hard decision for me to make, as I realize I will never get to see my grandchild. But it was a necessary one. I have two other boys who I have a close relationship with, and I focus all my energy on them now.

My heart goes out to all of you. The only thing you can do is set clear boundaries unless your daughter truly repents for her behavior, and you see a change. Our daughters are adults now. We have to cut the cord and let them swim by themselves. Otherwise, they will keep using us and hurting us. In the end, it will be us who get hurt.

anon945739
Post 6

My daughter sings the "Me, me, me" song daily. Her conversations are about her: her kids, her life. She has been bossy since childhood and not able to have lasting friendships. She is not willing to take responsibility for arguments and explodes like a volcano.

The more I try not to comment, the more she urges me until I do say something and then we are off and running on yet another not speaking segment of our life. She has caused damage in family relationships. She is famous for divide and conquer with her dad and me. She accuses me of favoring her older sister who in her mind is nothing but a loser, when in fact, we have given them both so much and never shown partiality. She doesn't get along with in-laws, etc.

When I first brought up narcissism to her, she immediately looked it up on line and forwarded a copy to her dad turning it completely around and stating that is what I am and she can't deal with it. You never win an argument with her. She must be right at the price of relationships and so much more.

Personally, after reading and researching, it is my opinion that each of us possess some of these qualities, but when it's a family member and you are desperate to maintain a relationship, it is devastating. I also feel these personalities must be in charge and find it difficult in the work place to harmoniously take direction from others.

My daughter is 37 with two children and if she read this, she would turn it all on me, so it is a very sad situation. I don't think there is an answer to it, because in order to correct a behavior, you have to first acknowledge it!

I am certainly no professional, but have been coping with this for so many years I am ready to finally give up totally---and she is of the same mind. It is such a sad situation.

Difine68
Post 5

The sad thing is that it is difficult to realize that your child is narcissistic when he/she is young since children are, to a degree, narcissists. By the time you realize it, it's too late. As I have learned with my daughter. It's heartbreaking. You're helpless.

anon350355
Post 4

I am the mother of a narcissistic daughter. She had trouble keeping friends, showed no empathy or sympathy towards anyone and lied constantly. If she was caught doing something unacceptable, she would receive a punishment: no TV, phone or activity for a week. Unfortunately, she would "get back" at me by stealing money or clothing from me or promoting smear campaigns against me at school, within the family and even at my place of employment.

Therapy didn't work because she charmed them and always changed the issue she was there for. She is a master manipulator.

After I put her through college (again, with her stealing, lying, not following rules, no friends) she lived at home for a year, with me footing the bill, to get her on her feet. She went to another state, worked and came home for Christmas. After lavishing her with gifts, I realized she stole from me again -- on Christmas no less.

I haven't seen or heard from her since. She changed her phone number and doesn't answer e-mails, which she has since changed as well. Half of me is broken-hearted and the other half is relieved. Although she is my only child, and I lived for her and her well-being, living the rest of my life not knowing what she would do next to me was too stressful. Putting up with it from a 25 year old was unacceptable.

fBoyle
Post 3

I think my daughter might have NPD. She's very manipulative and fights with me constantly. She can't seem to hold onto friends either. She makes friends and then stops talking to them and meets others.

candyquilt
Post 2

@burcinc-- I personally don't think it's a good idea to diagnose a child with NPD. Of course, it's good to seek counseling but I would not label a child with any disorder.

I think at a young age, we all tend to be a little narcissistic. There is even a famous quote about how all children are born monsters and education and discipline turns each of us into humans. Children have to be selfish because they are weak and fragile and rely on parents for everything.

I'm sure most of us have gone through this stage in our lives but most of us grew out of it with time.

burcinc
Post 1
I used to have a very nacissistic classmate in grade school. This girl had all of the characteristics of a narcissist. She was selfish and looked down on everyone and took every opportunity to ridicule others.

I remember one time, I couldn't go to school because I was sick. I asked this girl for notes because she lived closest to my house. She gave me the notes and homework. When I got to class on Monday, I discovered that she had intentionally given me homework from six months ago. She could do anything to make others lose.

I still shudder thinking about how that girl's mind operated at such a young age. I would not want to come across her as an adult, she must be a monster. If anyone has a daughter like that, please do something about it while you still can.

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