What Are the Signs of a Narcissistic Daughter?

Parents and caregivers typically encourage their children to have a positive self-image.
Someone who is narcissistic is overly obsessed with gaining the attention of others.
A parent who believes their daughter is narcissistic can set up an appointment with a counselor or psychologist, who will be able to make a proper diagnosis.
Many narcissists are quite promiscuous.
Childhood trauma may lead to the development of narcissism.
A narcissistic daughter may have problems getting along with siblings and classmates.
The first signs of narcissism often appear when the child cannot maintain friendships with her peers.
Narcissistic children often have inflated egos.
Some signs that can be indicative of a narcissistic daughter are social issues, abnormally high self-pride and the inability to take responsibility for mistakes.
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  • Written By: Valerie Goldberg
  • Edited By: Angela B.
  • Last Modified Date: 03 November 2015
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Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition in which a person believes he or she is better than everyone else. Narcissism is often associated with adults, but the early stages of the disorder can begin in childhood. Mothers who are concerned that their daughters may be narcissistic should be on the lookout for classic early warning signs. Some signs that can be indicative of a narcissistic daughter are social issues, abnormally high self-pride and the inability to take responsibility for mistakes.

A narcissistic daughter may have trouble getting along with siblings and classmates. While some children may try to change themselves to fit in with a peer group, narcissistic children often believe their own personal habits and fashion sense are better than their peers. This attitude can make other children view the narcissistic child in a negative light. A child with narcissistic tendencies also may have no sympathy or compassion for others. If a friend gets in an argument on the playground or skins a knee and turns to the narcissistic child for help, the friend may receive no empathy or support in return and may not want to continue the friendship.


Parents typically encourage their children to have positive self-esteem, but a narcissistic daughter will take this message to the next level. Young people with narcissistic tendencies can have inflated egos and participate in activities not because they enjoy them, but because they love winning and the corresponding attention. A child who truly has an interest in basketball will continue with the sport even after the disappointment of losing a few games. If a child wants to a quit a sport every time he or she loses so he or she can move onto another activity involving praise, then this can be a sign of narcissism.

Neither young nor old narcissists like to be held accountable. A child who constantly fails tests but blames the teacher or a kid who calls people names and then blames the victim could be suffering from early signs of narcissism. Narcissistic kids also may break rules because they believe they are so perfect that rules do not apply to them.

A mother or father who believes he or she has a narcissistic daughter should set up an appointment with a mental health professional. Many kids go through phases as they learn and grow, and it can be difficult for parents to determine if they are truly dealing with a narcissistic daughter or just a young person who is testing the waters. Counselors and psychologists have questionnaires that can be used to make a proper diagnosis.


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Post 14

@candyquilt: Everyone has a right to their opinions. So, I would like to share mine with you. As far as your response to fboyle. In my opinion, I don't think anyone who is not a mental health professional should diagnosis anyone. In fboyle's defense, she didn't diagnose her daughter. She said, "I think" my daughter might have NPD. Thinking that someone has a disorder or illness is completely different than actually diagnosing them. How many people have said when a loved one is sick, “I think so and so might have diabetes etc.” Or when someone is doing anything and everything to obtain drugs or alcohol to get high. Everyone nowadays automatically says they're a drug addict or an

alcoholic, no matter what their age.

I don't think children should be labeled either, but for a parent to watch their own child disintegrate into a raging, egotistical, out of control human being who can't have a relationship with anyone and is ruining her life and everyone close to her, even her own defenseless children! Parents go to whatever extremes they have to, to find out on their own what is wrong with their child and how they can help them! I don't know why you were on this site, as it is none of my business. So, I don't know if you are aware of the fact that, with this disorder, 95 percent of people with this disorder don't ever seek help or therapy because of the disorder! Which, speaking for myself, I cannot or will not accept that there is no hope for my daughter. I also do not only think my daughter has it, but I am convinced she does! I am not diagnosing her either and I know it sounds like I am contradicting myself. I am giving myself an answer for her outrageous behavior, how she treats and interacts with me and everyone she comes in contact with. How she puts her own innocent children in danger every time she gets behind the wheel with them.

So let me get this straight: because there is a quote about how all children are born monsters makes it true? So it's OK to say they are monsters (a label) when they are born, but when they grow up and are mentally ill, it's wrong to think they have a disorder? I beg to differ with you. I believe all children are born angels and as they grow up. this world can and does turn some of them into monsters. I agree with you, that most of us have been a little narcissistic from time to time. Maybe I misunderstood you.

So you think that all these mothers on here who are pouring their hearts out because they don't know what to do or where to go to get help for their daughters, that in your opinion it's just something they will outgrow? Like I said before, I don't know what your interest is with this subject or why you are here on this site from your comments. In my opinion again, I think you have got a lot to learn about this horrible disorder that is plaguing our children and not only ruining their lives, but their children's lives and that of anyone who loves them. God Bless you, candyquilt and I hope your daughter or any of your loved ones don't suffer from this horrifying disorder.

Post 13

Children learn from their parents. Certainly the world is more connected and allows those with superiority issues, poor social skills or loose boundaries to flagrantly display themselves. Putting pictures of ones self up on the Internet is encouraged and has a positive side for many. At this time it may be helpful to take a look at benevolent sexism and overt sexism because sexism is damaging for girls.

If something has gone wrong with your daughters, you may realize you did not protect them from harm, especially if you caused the harm yourself. Children learn from their care givers. This is a very difficult personality disorder. Listen to your young children and hear what they are attempting to say. Set

an example of empathy, educate yourselves on childhood development and understand the pressure on girls.

Make a difference and discover your attitudes and beliefs that affect others. With children realize they may take time to mature, so don't give up on them. Just do what's right in the right way. Your children will learn for better or worse.

Post 11

At the age 0f 83, I have had to give my daughter up totally, because of her hurtful treatment of me. My heart is broken.

I am now widowed, and have no other family close by. My friends are dying off, and my health at this age is starting to go downhill. Never did I think this would be my lot in life. Do you ever learn to adjust to this?

Post 10

I have a daughter who is narcissistic and I have gone to therapy because I thought I was losing my mind. My therapist says to me that it sounds like my daughter may be narcissistic and I asked what is that and she explained to me what it was. So, I went home did research online and couldn't believe all the characteristics she had.

She is 27 and has two kids by different fathers. She is my only one and believe me, I tried to cut her loose. I was blessed she was someone else's problem. The silent treatment is the worst. I get that all the time with her. She makes me miserable and all I do is cry

or want to leave this world. She lies to others about her own family so they have sympathy for her, and when she's not happy with them, she comes around and lies about them. I'm afraid to talk to her. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing. It's as if I was walking on eggshells.

I try to stay close since my oldest granddaughter is 7 and she's been sexually abused by the new boyfriend and has been hurting herself in school. She's been cutting herself, choking herself, and at the age of 5 she wrote in a journal at school she want to kill herself. My daughter was confronted by a guidance counselor and didn't do a damn thing. She believed they were lying and everyone was making this up. Also, my granddaughter has been in two mental behavior centers and when asked if someone had touched her where they shouldn't, she said yes and she explained it so perfectly how it happened. Then, my daughter stands up and yells at my granddaughter and calls her a liar right in front of me, the doctors and therapists. They told my daughter that CPS would be contacted. The school had called CPS on her several times from last year until this year. My daughter can manipulate anyone and of course, CPS couldn't find anything so they closed the case.

I've been fighting for custody for my granddaughter and it's been a battle. We have been to court and not heard. The judge assigned an amicus to my granddaughter since February 2015 and I haven't seen her until this day. Also, my daughter didn't want to deal with this so she sent her away to her other maternal grandparents since then and she hasn't seen her.

Since there are six conservators on the court papers, you can see this has been going on for a long time. My attorney stated that we have one foot through the door because Texas laws has no grandparents rights, no matter how abusive the situation is. But everyone thought this was a mother-daughter fight, which is clearly not.

I promised I would try to protect her when she begged me to live with me. I have gone completely insane. We have spent over 15 thousand dollars and nothing has been done. Now they are finally sending her back and of course, she'll go back to her mother and that's what we're trying to do – keep her away from there. I do admit I was glad she wasn't there because I knew she was safe somewhere else.

So, at the end of May we are going for a jury trial, not a hearing. I'm going to court to get my granddaughter back. This alone has cost 15-30 thousand dollars I'm only doing this because we have enough evidence to prove my daughter is unfit.

I hate who I've become. I'm the type of person who gives and will help anyone in need. I would give you my shirt off my back if needed. I just wanted to be loved. My daughter could never say I love you mom, she never called me mom. It was, “Hey what do you think about this or that.” I've asked her why she doesn't call me mom and she said, “I don't know.”

Or, if you try and give her a hug, you can tell how fake it is like she doesn't want to be touched. She only contacts me if she needs money or if she's hungry or not getting along with her boyfriend or she hates her coworkers. But anything she says is a lie. I always tell myself it's the opposite of what she saying. I'm glad I found this site. I feel better getting this off my chest. It does hurt. I would be lying if I said it didn't. I also promised myself that I will not contact her this time. I did delete all her info on my phone and iPad. I just want her to be someone else's problem, but not to her kids. That's all.

Post 8

My husband and I have been dealing with this disorder for years in our daughters. Our oldest daughter has gotten therapy and help and seems to be doing better. Our youngest daughter with two children and pregnant for the third is getting worse.

All of this for Moms and Dads to deal with is very sad. I have given it all over to prayer and faith. When I put it in the Lord's hands I do get peace.

I pray for all these parents and hope that they can find peace and surrender in their lives. Bless all of you!

Post 7

@anon350355 and anon945739: As I was reading your posts, I couldn't help but cry with you. I am a mother of a narcissistic adult daughter, as well. She is now 23, and we have been putting up with this abuse from her for seven years. Your stories are my stories too.

I love my daughter a lot. I think she is beautiful, smart and there are so many things I love about her. Yet, no matter how much I try to build her up with loving words, she belittles me, is disrespectful, and starts arguments for no reason. I don't expect her to be perfect, but I do expect her to be nice. I have been her only cheerleader when

the rest of the world has knocked her down. I have never belittled her. I am a very positive person while she is always very negative. I have financially supported her, even though I couldn’t afford it and pay my own bills, too. All I got was a disrespectful attitude. In spite of all this, she lies to family members and friends, and always makes others think she is the victim and I am the villain.

The only time she is nice to me or contacts me is when she wants money. She does not acknowledge me on Mother’s Day or my birthday, and never comes over on holidays. She is now pregnant which makes things even harder because she doesn't have a supportive boyfriend.

After seven years, I have learned that being nice no longer works, and I've had to make the painful decision of cutting ties with her unless she repents. I am not willing to be belittled and disrespected by her any longer. This was a very hard decision for me to make, as I realize I will never get to see my grandchild. But it was a necessary one. I have two other boys who I have a close relationship with, and I focus all my energy on them now.

My heart goes out to all of you. The only thing you can do is set clear boundaries unless your daughter truly repents for her behavior, and you see a change. Our daughters are adults now. We have to cut the cord and let them swim by themselves. Otherwise, they will keep using us and hurting us. In the end, it will be us who get hurt.

Post 6

My daughter sings the "Me, me, me" song daily. Her conversations are about her: her kids, her life. She has been bossy since childhood and not able to have lasting friendships. She is not willing to take responsibility for arguments and explodes like a volcano.

The more I try not to comment, the more she urges me until I do say something and then we are off and running on yet another not speaking segment of our life. She has caused damage in family relationships. She is famous for divide and conquer with her dad and me. She accuses me of favoring her older sister who in her mind is nothing but a loser, when in fact, we have given

them both so much and never shown partiality. She doesn't get along with in-laws, etc.

When I first brought up narcissism to her, she immediately looked it up on line and forwarded a copy to her dad turning it completely around and stating that is what I am and she can't deal with it. You never win an argument with her. She must be right at the price of relationships and so much more.

Personally, after reading and researching, it is my opinion that each of us possess some of these qualities, but when it's a family member and you are desperate to maintain a relationship, it is devastating. I also feel these personalities must be in charge and find it difficult in the work place to harmoniously take direction from others.

My daughter is 37 with two children and if she read this, she would turn it all on me, so it is a very sad situation. I don't think there is an answer to it, because in order to correct a behavior, you have to first acknowledge it!

I am certainly no professional, but have been coping with this for so many years I am ready to finally give up totally---and she is of the same mind. It is such a sad situation.

Post 5

The sad thing is that it is difficult to realize that your child is narcissistic when he/she is young since children are, to a degree, narcissists. By the time you realize it, it's too late. As I have learned with my daughter. It's heartbreaking. You're helpless.

Post 4

I am the mother of a narcissistic daughter. She had trouble keeping friends, showed no empathy or sympathy towards anyone and lied constantly. If she was caught doing something unacceptable, she would receive a punishment: no TV, phone or activity for a week. Unfortunately, she would "get back" at me by stealing money or clothing from me or promoting smear campaigns against me at school, within the family and even at my place of employment.

Therapy didn't work because she charmed them and always changed the issue she was there for. She is a master manipulator.

After I put her through college (again, with her stealing, lying, not following rules, no friends) she lived at home for a year, with

me footing the bill, to get her on her feet. She went to another state, worked and came home for Christmas. After lavishing her with gifts, I realized she stole from me again -- on Christmas no less.

I haven't seen or heard from her since. She changed her phone number and doesn't answer e-mails, which she has since changed as well. Half of me is broken-hearted and the other half is relieved. Although she is my only child, and I lived for her and her well-being, living the rest of my life not knowing what she would do next to me was too stressful. Putting up with it from a 25 year old was unacceptable.

Post 3

I think my daughter might have NPD. She's very manipulative and fights with me constantly. She can't seem to hold onto friends either. She makes friends and then stops talking to them and meets others.

Post 2

@burcinc-- I personally don't think it's a good idea to diagnose a child with NPD. Of course, it's good to seek counseling but I would not label a child with any disorder.

I think at a young age, we all tend to be a little narcissistic. There is even a famous quote about how all children are born monsters and education and discipline turns each of us into humans. Children have to be selfish because they are weak and fragile and rely on parents for everything.

I'm sure most of us have gone through this stage in our lives but most of us grew out of it with time.

Post 1
I used to have a very nacissistic classmate in grade school. This girl had all of the characteristics of a narcissist. She was selfish and looked down on everyone and took every opportunity to ridicule others.

I remember one time, I couldn't go to school because I was sick. I asked this girl for notes because she lived closest to my house. She gave me the notes and homework. When I got to class on Monday, I discovered that she had intentionally given me homework from six months ago. She could do anything to make others lose.

I still shudder thinking about how that girl's mind operated at such a young age. I would not want to come across her as an adult, she must be a monster. If anyone has a daughter like that, please do something about it while you still can.

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