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One of the best tips for solving a family dispute is to seek out professional, neutral mediation as soon as possible. Whether the issue relates to separation, divorce, child custody or parent-teen conflicts, reaching a workable plan to solve the family dispute that all parties will agree to is more likely when professional mediators are used. Yelling matches or parents fighting in front of the children should always be avoided, as these only escalate the problem. The best tips to keep in mind during family mediation are to concentrate on parenting and to try to see things from the other person's perspective.
It's often too easy for parents who've reached a crisis point in their marriage to get so heated in arguing and fighting that they aren't thinking of their children who are listening to them and likely feeling extremely upset. Understanding that children of all ages tend to blame themselves for problems in their parents' relationship is one of the most crucial tips for every parent in a family dispute to understand. Another essential tip for parents to realize is that it doesn't matter in the least who is right or wrong on a particular issue, or who is perceived to be. Rather, it's solving the issue in the best interest of the children and the family as a whole, even if separation or divorce is the outcome.
Co-parenting through even the most non-friendly separation or divorce is what a professional family dispute mediator can teach both parents. He or she meets with both parents to create a workable parenting plan. The mediator remains neutral and listens to the reasons, arguments and concerns of both parents involved in a dispute. If the dispute involves only one parent and a teen, the same neutral mediation is used so that each party expresses his or her views, but also listens to the other person.
The best way to maximize solving the dispute is to carry the expressing and listening techniques back into the home environment between meetings with the professional mediator. Family members should speak calmly and express their feelings such as by saying they are sad, angry, upset or confused by a particular action or situation. One of the best tips as far as what not to do is to not accuse the other person with "you did this" statements but rather say something like "I felt confused and angry when you behaved in this way."
I feel uncomfortable about the way my husband talks to my teenage kids and to me. His words and anger are hard to tolerate.
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