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Coping with rejection can be difficult, whether it occurs in a personal relationship, a job interview, or in a letter from a publisher, just to name a few of the most common sources. One of the best techniques for coping with rejection is to remember that it happens to everyone; there is no person alive who will escape being rejected at some point in his or her life, and everyone survives it. Another technique to deal with being rejected is to refuse to succumb to negative self talk. Some people immediately start berating themselves for what they did wrong and what they should have done differently, which is useless after a certain point.
Rejection is common in the dating world, and it also occurs when one person unexpectedly breaks up with another person even after a long relationship. Though it is important to feel sad and mourn the loss of any relationship, one of the best techniques for coping with rejection is to attempt to move on with life. Some people find that they feel better if they simply get dressed up and go out, rather than sitting at home and wallowing. Spending time with friends, developing a new hobby, or learning something new can all be proactive ways of coping with rejection; not only that, but they can be great ways to meet someone new.
Rejection after interviewing for a job or submitting an article or manuscript for publication are some other common areas of rejection. In this case, it may be helpful to consider any areas of improvement that could be made; however, it is important not to take this type of rejection too personally. In this case, the best method for coping with rejection is often to simply try again. Apply for another job, send the manuscript to a different publisher, and try to use any constructive criticism that may come. This type of criticism can be extremely helpful to actually landing the job in the future.
Many people find that if they simply face their fears, they are better able to cope with rejection when it inevitably occurs. Remaining positive in different situations, and maintaining high self esteem are both effective ways of coping with rejection. If one already possesses high self esteem, then one person's rejection will not be a catastrophic event, just an occurrence. If one finds that fear of rejection is interfering with life, then talking with a therapist may be a good choice.
I have to admit that I had a crippling fear of rejection from women for years. Friends would encourage me to ask some very attractive co-worker or church member out on a casual date, but the anxiety of approaching them would always become too much to take. The feelings of guilt and shame after a "sales pitch" went wrong also contributed to my lack of self-confidence.
What I learned after a year of counseling was that everybody on the planet has to cope with some form of rejection or shame or insecurity. I couldn't allow the idea of being turned down by a woman romantically to define my entire self-worth. People want what they want, and we all
have our reasons for choosing one thing and rejecting the other.
My new way of coping with rejection is to stop trying so hard to get a date. I wait until I see enough signs of mutual interest before I even consider asking a woman out. If we don't connect well as acquaintances, we're not going to connect any better through dating. Some women who rejected me in the past probably did both of us a favor, truth be told.
One of my best friends is a freelance writer, and he says that rejection is just part of the business. Some magazines even brag about their 99% rejection rates. Obviously a publication only wants to include the absolute best material it receives, but it can be very hard for good writers to handle a steady stream of rejection.
One way he suggests for coping with rejection is to turn negatives into positives. He views a rejection letter from a prestigious magazine as a badge of honor. It proves that he has the strength to take a risk and aim high. He tapes all of his rejection letters to a wall in his office and invites friends over to see the latest additions.
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