Communication is key to every successful relationship, but it can take time for two people to learn to communicate effectively. Typically, as a dating relationship progresses, the need for communicating effectively becomes more significant. A woman often finds that communicating with a man is difficult. There are a few things to keep in mind that can make communicating with your boyfriend – and others – easier.

First, recognize that men and women often have different ways of communicating. Women tend to want to explore a range of different feelings and opinions on most matters. Most men prefer for things to be kept simple. Some men do not see the need for communication unless there is a problem that needs to be fixed or an action that needs to be taken. The simple discussion of feelings or opinions is not easy for many men.

Face-to-face communication is usually better than talking over the phone, especially if you have important issues to discuss. Face-to-face communication leaves less room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding. Do not attempt to talk to your boyfriend about important matters over the phone.

Before attempting to have a discussion with your boyfriend about something of importance to you, try to narrow down exactly what it is you are trying to communicate. If you are bothered by a situation or feel there is an issue that needs to be resolved, keep the conversation to the point to avoid losing his attention. Present your feelings on the issue and give him an opportunity to react. Remember that body language is equally important as the words you choose when communicating. If your partner is responding to a statement and you are not making eye contact, sitting with your arms crossed, or making facial expressions that might convey mixed signals, he might feel that you are not open to his thoughts on the matter and simply shut down.

Communicating with success requires both people to give equal attention to listening and speaking. If you find you are doing all the talking, take a break and ask for your boyfriend's input. Men can be particularly defensive if they feel they are being personally attacked, so be careful with how you phrase certain statements. Remember to use “I” phrasing rather than “you” phrasing, wording statements in such a way as to emphasize your own feelings or reactions to situations, rather than emphasizing that it is his specific behavior that is bothering you.

The single most important factor to remember when communicating with someone you care about is always to look at both sides of a situation. Mutual respect in a relationship will facilitate successful communication. If communication is particularly difficult in a relationship, you might want to consider whether it is worth the effort before you become more involved. If you are in a serious relationship and having trouble communicating effectively, consider seeking professional counseling if you both want the relationship to succeed.