What are Arranged Marriages?

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Arranged marriages are marriages which are negotiated primarily by the parents of the couple, rather than the couple themselves. For centuries, arranged marriage was the only way to marry in most cultures, and it was believed to ensure stronger, happier marriages which also took the form of economic, social, and political alliances. Although most Western countries frown upon arranged marriages because they believe these marriages restrict personal freedom, arranged marriages still occur in parts of the Middle East, Asia, and Africa.

When asked to think of arranged marriage, most Westerners visualize a forced marriage, in which the couple did not meet beforehand and had no say in the final decision. Forced marriages are outlawed in most countries of the world, because they are believed to be cruel and abusive, and most supporters of arranged marriages do not support forced marriage. A forced marriage can be an unpleasant experience for both parties, especially when they belong to a culture which does not permit divorce. Women, especially, can be victims of forced marriages which cause them to enter a state of virtual slavery.

The more modern arranged marriage involves a negotiation between the parents of a bride or groom and the parents of multiple prospective spouses. The parents create a short list of spouses who they think would be good matches for their children, and introduce the children to each spouse individually, sometimes allowing them to have some time alone to talk. Ultimately, the children choose for themselves, although they choose from a list of parentally approved potential partners. However, if either party is not receptive to the idea of a marriage, negotiations are called off. These arranged marriages can result in a strong life-long partnership.

Some parents also merely offer introductions and encouragement, but do not take an active role otherwise. Modern supporters of arranged marriage see this as an acceptable compromise between a love marriage, which is made entirely between the potential spouses, and a traditional arranged marriage, in which the parents are heavily involved. An introduction is usually followed by a brief courtship, and if the children are amendable, they may choose to marry.

The idea of making arranged marriages for social, political, and economic means is still widespread. Parents may try to match their children with spouses in other countries, where they think their children have a better chance of success, or may try to marry into a more wealthy family. However, the goal of happiness is also said to be an important part of arranged marriages. In cultures where arranged marriage is still practiced, parents regard marriage as a sacred duty, and want to ensure that their children are provided for. They strive to make matches which please their children, and some couples in arranged marriages have said that while their partnership did not start out with love, the spouses grew affection for each other and form a committed team.

Many supporters of arranged marriages say that the divorce rate is lower for these types of marriages, and use this as evidence to support the practice. However, divorce is not encouraged in many nations where arranged marriage is practiced, and the couple may also be afraid to divorce because of social pressure. Although arranged marriages may be happier than traditional marriages, unhappy and abused spouses can exist anywhere. If a clear freedom of choice exists for both members of the potential couple, many think that the marriage will have a better chance of success.

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Written by S.E. Smith


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