I enjoyed your article, because i am not only a pathological liar, but also a compulsive liar. Those of you who accuse us of being bad people have no idea what it's like. I literally can't tell the truth without thinking about it, even when someone asks me things like my name. I say without even thinking a lie, as easily and effortlessly as you say the truth, if i want to tell the truth i have to stop and think, wait, what is my name, ok so that is the truth, i want to say something else, but i have to stop and think, ok i think i will tell the truth, then i have to think it word for word what i am going to say, or i will say a lie. Half the time i don't even know that i am lying until i have all the words out of my mouth. I know my condition is worse than most however, because i have had a brain scan, and i have almost 47% more white matter than the average person. See that last sentence was a lie, i hate that i cant stop myself, but i try. Please all that i ask is that you people try to help and understand us rather than calling us liars and shunning us, we cant help it, it's no different than a paralyzed person, they cant walk no matter how hard they might try. Don't think so bad of us.

My sister is a pathological liar. She lies about everything big and small. She used to be engaged, and I remember her fiance asking me if there was any history of mental illness in our family as he said that she lies about everything. She fabricated a whole life story about her and got tripped up on her lies. If you catch her on a lie, she flies off the handle with a huge temper, screaming like a teenager, accusing us of not trusting her, etc. She's stolen money from me and has of course lied about it. She's gotten fired from jobs from her lying, and has burned through many friends.

It's a real shame as I really wish I could have a relationship with her as she's my only sibling, but I can't as I can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

My mother is the true definition of pathological liar. She will invent all kinds of things from where she graduated high school (even though she just got her 35 year reunion from a different high school)to what she ate for supper. She has lied to my three brothers and i about who our father is even though everyone in my family and the guy she says is my father says he is not our father(and i was old enough to remember all of my brothers fathers) but yet she will make the comment to me while watching a show about paternity, "Oh at least i know and tell my kids who their father is." She has also lied about going to college and getting degrees to make herself sound better, but yet if you ask to see them she replies "oh.. they are in the basement somewhere." When my mother is caught in a lie she will still insist she is correct. Now it is starting to get worse because she is stating that other people in our family are mistreating my children even though i know for a fact they are not, and she is also stating that her mother and sisters are all not related. please tell me what i can do...she is driving me insane!

I am a 24 year old gay guy who recently had my first relationship, EVER. He was great from the start but I always knew that something was a little “off”. A lot of what seemed to be fabricated stories and lies. Constantly, about everything. At first he was a model who does much work for modeling but is also a security guard. He has one paper ad in a Tip Top store, but apparently he had done many shows and had met every celebrity, and some had complemented or took attention to him. He would lie about everything, just everything. From the type of shoe, to what he had owned, the experiences in his life, jobs, school, stories, everything.

Anyway, I ignored it at first, but I did not know the severity of this problem. I had brought the issue up to him along with other issues, I like to talk to him in a calm way and help him as much as I can, but it seemed like every time an issue is raised he turns it around and somehow I’m in the wrong and I end up apologizing.

Eight months after we became exclusive, I had to end it. I knew that I did not want to deal with it. Although we were “broken up” I had not been with anyone else, and we were pretty much still a couple without the title. Sometimes he tells his friends that we’re together and other times they don’t know he’s gay. There was not one story that he had stuck with.

He would call me in much excitement to tell me about something. It would seem as though he sat there thought it all out eventually getting really excited and then calling me. For example the time the producers of the Kirdashians show called him regarding a meeting to talk about the prospects of a reality TV show of him and his family. Or when he was supposed to meet with L’Oreal to discuss his product. Yet when I asked him about the Kirdashians, he said the meeting was delayed until next week, I never brought it up again.

One day, not too long ago, he spent the night at my place, it was only my brother, him and I who had slept in the apartment. In the morning when I woke up, I realized he was gone. Later on that day my brother discovered that his chain, pendant and ring were missing from the same place he leaves the items every night, and the same place he had placed them then night before. I mean I cannot prove it put the pieces of the puzzle fit. Another incident so silly, it was cream; I will not go into detail but again another puzzle that fits. And about two weeks ago, he stole a ring off the finger of my best friend when she was very drunk, but could clearly remember him doing it (she could not move, or speak….bad drinking night).

I brought this to his attention, he admitted that yes sometime he embellishes and lies but gave the reason that he has always had to lie to his family and it became a habit. But a thief he was not. My best friend who would never lie to me, and never has. So when she told me I was certain that it had happened. He denied it and at the moment we are not speaking but I sent him the link to this site.

I love him very much and would do anything to help him, but if he doesn’t want the help then I have to let go. I have been distant and had only spoken to him twice in the past week which is weird. No texting or anything, which is also weird. But I feel horrible. I want to be there for him because I know when it comes down to it he doesn’t have many friends that can help. He is already lying to people about me, and making me seem like a horrible person.

And yes stupidly I still love him.

How can I help?

One important note ...

Although those with autism may not be able to lie, those with autism spectrum disorders may lie pathologically. For instance, those with Asperger's Syndrome may have a tremendous ability to fabricate very complex and convincing lies. They may also have a lack of interest in the consequences of their lying.

Another note ...

Besides OCD, ADHD, AsPD, and Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder may also lead to pathological lying. This often starts as a series of excuses to try to explain away the Bipolar "emotional rollercoaster" and the difficulty or inability to keep commitments and maintain relationships. Especially in those with Bipolar 1, this may lead to patterned and habitual lying where the lying never ceases (pathological lying).

I'm sure that even this expanded list is not a comprehensive list of causes of pathological lying. It can be dismaying when a family member or friend is lying continually, but using a process of elimination based on an incomplete list of possible causal factors may lead to an erroneous diagnosis. Please be careful!

I have been teaching for 25 years and was shocked when an 8 year old student of mine told me that she had been eating dog food, her father (who I met) had died, and her brother had hurt her (she had no bruises or cuts). When called on this, she politely denied that she had EVER said anything like that. Fortunately (in this day of lawsuits), she said many of those things in front of others. When I told her I would get the others who were around, she said that she was only joking. In one of those instances, she was in tears! We only have a few days left of this school year and she will be in another's classroom. I'm at a loss!!

I have come to realize that im a compulsive liar. I lie to make my husband and family happy. I am on the verge of divorce and that is the last thing that i wanted but he just cant go through it anymore. Although I understand it doesnt make it any easier to loose him, but then again he doesnt deserve to live with someone like me. Neither does the kids. I feel like I am all alone most of the time with no one to talk to because I feel if i tell him the truth i will be letting him down yet again and i dont want to do that. I really think this time I have really lost him and there is no getting him back. I have called a couple of therapist here local and they all sound like I'm crazy and that lying is not something that they could help me with? I thought that was their job but i guess not so right now im at a loss on where to go from here. I feel like if he leaves me what will be the reason or purpose for me getting help anyway. I just want to stop but cant do it alone....Is there any help out there for me???

Hello!! I believe I've fallen into this awful habit of lying. Its a terrible disease of the mind not to tell the truth, just yesterday I was visiting the Cemetery and I caught up in some chit chat with a complete stranger; I could see that I was lying (only a few facts) but I went ahead with my fibs-why? Because 1/ I wanted to protect myself from my spiritual work I do and 2/ To feel prideful!! Geeez I'm worthless in the eyes of God!!

Today- I want to make a stop because lying and I don't believe that people whom lie cannot put an end to this habit!! It is possible to stop - but you have to want it/ you have to say enough is enough!!! I've got to change!!!

My issue with lying in fact is to protect myself- as a large part of my life I've wasted out of fear, illness and basically stupidity!! So now I'm confronted to hide behind my lies!! Other than that I want to project towards other people to like me, to reveal some goodness but to feel important and for this I do the most stupidest thing- I mix truth with lies!! And you know after I lie- I go home and I feel yuck!! So yes legitimately I want to change!! I want to someday have a relationship with a guy- but I can't start lying to him- ruining a life together!! I've read so many of other people's articles on here and you know what- geez it hurts to see such a waste of life together when someone lies to you and constantly lies!! What a waste of life!!

My Pa is a pathological liar, so yes its been part of the family, growing up in an environment where lying is considered okay.

A few years back I got in trouble with the police over an incident from fabricating the truth. I was really glad to see that I came clean before the law, but it didn't stop me from making up imaginary little stories here and there to people. I do worry, even today I have had to stop lying to my mom as I had a break before. And here while writing this article- I stopped, review and erased a part of it- and started a fresh- to want to change- means- sit down, by yourself- examine your heart, see your faults and then taking baby steps when the feeling approaches and ya going to lie- stop !! My plan is, when I talk to some one from now on and I start lying about anything in the conversation- I will stop- I will embarrass myself by 'talking to myself' reminding me stop lying- apologise and then and only then say the truth!!!

Its the only way to kick this stupid habit of lying!!! How I see it is if a person truthfully wants to make an impact in his/hers lives- no medical attention can help, no books or therapy can help- don't waste money on fads!! If ya truly want to change- then you have to help yourself!! I sure will!! Look, its hard in the beginning- I admit it- but then everything is hard the first time around!! Even openly sharing this secret side of me to the world is in fact the hardest- despite I remain anonymous- for me its hard to reveal my disease of my mind- by being a stupid liar!! But I do it- because I'm proving to myself first of all that I mean I want to change but also I'm proving to you all that it is possible to make a new start- its possible to fix something in your life that is wrong!! But you have to seriously want to make the change!!!

I want people to judge me- so I can see my faults, I want people to say what a lying man- so I can feel the hurt that I've created to acknowledge the pain and to change!!! Its not going to get me in to heaven- lies are the devil's friend and I certainly do not want to be the devil's companion for in him there is no life!!!

My boyfriend is a pathological liar, and we've been living together for 14 months since we dated. He's 28 and is a very talented musician. At the beginning of our relationship, I had strangers and people I don't know much come to me and tell me to watch out for him because he's a thief and a compulsive liar. I didn't believe it completely but I wondered why people would say that about him. I asked him a few times if he knew those people, he told me he was going out with a girl that was very jealous of him and she had decided to destroy him. As soon as he moved in to my apartment where I lived with my 2 roommates, I started to have money missing from my wallet all the time, within a month, I lost more than $2,000 worth of money and foreign currency. During that time, he always said that he was looking for a job and that he's very busy at home making music because he was signed by a local music label and he was djing at many places. My roommates and I decided that was him who stole the money and we asked him to leave. It was a very cold winter, he was homeless and had nothing with him at all that time, because when we met he was kind of homeless and on the street when it's -30C outside. I did some research on him and found out that his mother brought him to a psychiatric hospital for help and the doctor said he was a mythomaniac. He would lied about just everything, about the abuse from his family, his education, where he was working, what happened to people he knew and even the things he ate during the day. The people were real, but nothing he said about them was true. At first, I came to realization that it could be money problems that made him lie, but I found out he would just lie about anything. He is a very very intelligent person, and he reads a lot about everything, he's simply a very interesting person. We knew it was him who stole the money but we forgave him and had him moved back with us while he still denied everything. We loved each other very much, but I had a lot of hard time believing anything he said, and he just wouldn't go get a job. Beside, I'm a student but I had to pay rent and food for 2 people, and on top of that he was stealing from me. I tried to tell him many times to get help and I would judge him if he admitted what he had done, but he denied everything. He then made up a fake document and report to make me believe that my roommates were stealing from me, I didn't buy that but I decided to move out together because I started to see my roommates were not happy with him being there. I lost all my friends, because they all knew about him and wanted me to stay away from him. But I decided to help him to move away so no one would judge him, so he could heal. After we moved 2 weeks later, I started to have my money and belongings stolen, some of which were something very very sentimental to me. Again, he denied everything. Later, I started to find empty bags of cocaine at home, as many as 55 bags of it. I asked him if he was doing drugs, he denied it. I was thinking that time, 'you can't force someone to admit something if he doesn't admit it and I thought that he needed help rather than being kicked out.' He was continuously lying about everything, and everything he lied about had so many details. He then started to say something very damaging about people he knows in front of me, including that his father raped his little brother repeatedly when he was a little boy, one of his best friend was dying from AIDS, his uncle had a prostitute addiction and his mother was bankrupted and owed him a lot of money! He even lied about things I know is not true in front of my friends. He seemed to have a lot of love for me and I could feel that, but he made me suffer a lot, mentally and financially, that I was thinking I needed to help myself. He started to steal checks from me and pretended I wrote him the checks and he would give the checks to people I know, and told them to cash it for them. Surprisingly, people did it for him, because they saw the checks were in my name. He even gave the checks to my landlord to be cashed. He cleared my account and I had no money to pay for my tuition fees and all my courses were dropped. So, I told him I needed to call my father to help me with the tuition fees that month. He stopped me and said he hoped that he was the one who saved me from trouble. All I told him was not to give me trouble again and that he needed professional help. All he said was if he agreed to get help, he wanted me to come every single session with him, otherwise he won't go. I agreed but he never got help. When I found out about the stolen checks (Now, he had borrowed and stole $21,000) It's crazy that I allowed him to do that to me. I called the police and they said they couldn't do anything because he lived with me. I asked him to leave, and a week later he told me he asked his father was going to bring him to a local rehab for people who have compulsive behaviors (including drugs and lies) He asked me to go with him again, I agreed but at the end he refused to bring me because he said he was ashamed of what he did. He moved back and started to lie, even more than before and even more serious, because at this time, when i caught him lying and stealing from my wallet, he would say that I must be tired and saw something wrong. And during this time, he really did quit his drug use. I don't know what to do with him, because I consider that he's my family member since I have no one in this country and sometimes I was convinced that he did that on purpose to lie to people to get pleasure from it, because it was hard to believe that he didn't enjoy the process. Now he is outside again, homeless, and this time he was honest to me for the first time in his life that he is not capable of handling a job, because he can't stop stealing from and lying to everyone, he said his head was always busy and wished that I could live in his head for one minute so I'd know how it felt to be a pathological liar. I tried everything, now he said all he wanted to be cured, and before he is cured he doesn't want to live with anyone or come back, but no psychiatric institute takes him as a live-in patient, because to them a lying disease it's not as grave as mental disease which you can diagnosed with. Although he is a great musician, he said he has very low self-esteem and he felt he was nothing that why he had to lie. And it had started when he was a little boy! What can he do to change? He's in constant pain.

I'm 23 and have finally come to accept, with therapy, that I'm a pathological liar. For pathological liars, lying is a compulsion. I'm not proud that I am what I am, but I know enough about it to at least understand my problem and try to address it.

Just up and deciding that "Not Lying" is The Way is almost impossible without other supportive therapy. In my case, a lie about something will either a.) exit my mouth without me realizing it and I feel terrible about it later; or b.) jump into my mind and stay. I'll obsess about it. It will distract me. It'll grow and become more realistic and believable until I finally let it out and lie to someone. I've gotten to a point where I keep a journal of "Lies I Said/Didn't Say" that sort of serves as an outlet for my compulsion. It's not perfect, but it helps in a way.

I personally hate the fact that I lie all the time. It causes me to doubt myself and have poor self-worth. I've begun behavioral therapy where I internally ask myself if what I'm saying is true every time I speak. It makes for broken conversation sometimes, and when I'm in a fast-paced situation I find that I tend to slip back into old habits, but I'm still in progress.

For OCD sufferers, it's important to try to cultivate a compulsion to internally count to three and ask yourself if you're telling the truth before you speak. It's been working for me -- I'm a little obsessive about counting anyway, so if I can cultivate a compulsion I already have to serve as a therapy tool, all the better.

Looking it up on the internet is a good start, and I congratulate you for making this first step.

For parents who think their kids are pathological liars:

Please, please look at yourself critically first. Do you lie? Frequently? What example are you setting for your kids? Don't be so quick to assume that your little exaggerations go unnoticed. I've been in therapy for a while and have come to realize that all the "little lies" my parents told my entire life painted a picture of acceptance for my siblings and I. Many parents are very quick to say that their kids are liars, but never ever think to investigate where they learned it.

Sadly, most parents reading this who have this problem are going to say "Oh, not me!" and never get the hint. Please, please seek therapy. Or if you refuse to acknowledge the problem, shell out the cash for your child to seek therapy. This is a very serious problem that can affect their lives forever.

Now... I'm going back over and re-reading this post three times to make sure I didn't lie, stretch the truth, or make up anything to support my argument. Unfortunately, when you start a post with "I'm a pathological liar" people tend to not believe what you say. It comes with the territory, which is why it's so important to get help as soon as you realize you have a problem.

I have read all the posts before, and for the first time I feel I am not alone in this situation: I am 20 think my boyfriend of 2 years (we were actually engaged, but i broke up the engagement now because of this issue) is a pathological liar, combined with an antisocial personality disorder. He's 28 and he is lying about just everything, to me and to people, to his friends and my friends... It took me a while to figure it out, because I'm French, living in France, and he is American, and never went back there for the whole time we have been together: I don't know his family or anything about his life in the States, he gave me different versions for different events, he was supposedly in the military, he's had issues with the law, he lived all over the states..The only certainty I have is that I figured out his email password. He lied about his family background, about his marriage (still dont have the proof that he is actually divorced). He goes online and creates tales about who he is on chat boards (including flirting with girls pretending to be someone he's not); He lies on the professional level as well, his resume is a total scam, for example for two years he told me he went to culinary school, as he is a chef and an engineer...recently he confessed to me he never studied culinary arts, even though i can tell he's really gifted for that and worked as a chef on yachts here in europe. I have to double-check everything he says, asking friends, searching his stuff, I feel this is really affecting my mental condition as well, he makes me lie to my friends so i don't burn him, I lost friends over that during those two years, and I have had issues with my family that I didnt have before.. I find myself lying more and more to him and to my family to avoid the fights, whenever I choose confrontation, it never ends well.

I finally left him a month ago, but then he wouldn't let me go, cried, he was "more real" than eh ever was (that's when he told me about the culinary studies... which i kind of suspected to some extent), but i still caught him lying to my face, even though he was making efforts... Now it's starting to be exactly how it was before i left, and I refuse that, but at the same time, I don't want to leave him, I love him, and he has nobody but me, as everybody ends up hating me because of his lies, his reckless behavior + he has no respect of others, basically no sense of "right or wrong" (which is why I said at first he also has anti-social personality disorder)

We discussed his issues, and he said he'll see a doctor if i see one myself (which isn't a problem, maybe it'd help me to deal with him) and if I find one here that speaks english.. But even that I'm not sure i can believe, plus being a student there's no way I can afford to pay for his therapy at the moment, but I am really willing to do it!!

I have been wondering for a long time if I should try to contact his family or not... I managed to get his sister's number without him knowing it, but they haven't seen each other for years... I don't know if they'd believe me, after all I'm a perfect stranger (they don't know about me), but at the same time reading all the posts before I find that this disease is always related to family or had affected the family at some point, so maybe I should get in touch with them...please if anybody related to a pathological liar could answer my question about that it would help me a lot!!

Also, I wanted to tell the people that think they are pathological liars and wrote on the site... Don't be afraid to tell the truth to the people you love, no matter how hurt you've been before..I can't imagine how much it'd change my life if my boyfriend opened-up for good, and I know I wouldn't judge him or think less of him if I knew who he really is, it's his lies that make me think less of him!!!People that really love you love you for who you are, not for what you supposedly accomplished, or what you've been through, and they probably suffer from the situation as well.

I'm a 15 years girl. I feel i'm a mad liar i always have something new to say about my life and i cannot erase from my mind that what i said was a lie. I strongly believe in what i say.

Can anyone help me please!!!!

I have a horrible tendency of compulsively lying, sometimes without even realising it. I lie about things that don't even matter half of the time, to people who I don't care about, and to people I would die for. I've been trying to make up with my ex-girlfriend, and my lying has gotten in the way of that. We got in a huge argument today because of something I lied about, and it wasn't what I lied about, it was the fact that I lied about it. It's completely destroyed what's left of the amazing relationship we had before.

Hello to anyone listening.. My name is Carly and I'm 24. I came online to seek help for compulsive lying because I have recently come to terms with the fact that that's what I am. I lie about the silliest things for no reason at all. ie: I was driving the other day with a friend and glanced over and saw a grill brush sitting on a chair and the thought popped in my head to say "Look at those cats cuddling on the chair!" I didn't say it, knew it was insane and ridiculous but it was at that moment I realized there is something very wrong. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I guess I was just getting away with it but now my lies are starting to hurt innocent people and I'm just so frightened that I won't be able to stop it. Someone help? I'm ready to get over this so I can start a life for myself.

hi, i think i am a pathological liar.

I suffer from depression and i possibly have a mild case of O.C.D. and i can not help but lie to the nice, wonderful and supportive people around me.

I hate that i do it yet i can not control it.

I am told that my father also has this problem yet he would deny this.

I am almost 18 years old, this is not normal!

I am a very emotional person due to depression (i lost my mum 2 years ago) and i think i do it to fit in to school i've just recently changed schools and i dont exactly fit in.

I feel so isolated and i feel like crying all the time. The lying is one extra problem i have which i dont need.

What should i do??

HELP!

I think I am a pathological liar. I am 19 years old and I lie constantly. At first, I thought it was compulsive, but I know when I am lying. I also find myself lying to gain sympathy and attention. I hate myself. I lie about my health, the health of my brothers, horrible things that have supposedly happened to me. In middle school I was diagnosed with ADD. I read in several articles that ADD is linked with pathological lying. Is there any medical treatment?

The boyfriend I currently have means so much to me, he is the greatest thing in my life, but I know if I come clean I will lose him, and all of my friends and family. I don't know what to do.

I have decided the best course of action is to promise that I will not lie from this day forward. I'm hoping that I can break this horrible habit and move forward with my life as an honest person. I wish everyone good luck with their endevours with this unpleasant matter.

I can't believe I'm going this. I am a pathological liar. I lied last night and said that I had seen my friends boyfriend in my room trying on my clothes. I'm so afraid that I'm going to get caught in my lies all the time. I've even gone so far to lie about being raped. I wasn't. I hate this and have to change or I'm going to be all alone. I'm almost there. I'm scared and embarrassed, I don't know where to start. I guess this is a start? I'm also an addict.

I was a compulsive liar as a child and young adult. In general, I couldn't tell the truth because I didn't recognize it; the truth didn't mean anything to me. Instead, there was a proper way to "interpret" everything and that was whatever made me seem more virtuous and interesting. My fear of the truth was not only that I wouldn't be loved if it were told. It was that I wouldn't exist.

My sister and I had been severely beaten when were very young so I agree with the comment above that compulsive lying can occur where there has been violence. Fear for your own life or a loved one's will make you believe and say whatever you think is necessary to get by, to get recognition or approval, or to avoid further victimization.

It's hard to look back at the things I once told people. I exaggerated and sometimes made up accomplishments and activities. I made up stories about my victimization that substituted for the things I could barely remember or had been strictly prohibited from telling. I was always looking either for applause or for a hero to save me from terrible memories.

It took me years to realize that I was lying, and to detect and make a habit of telling the truth. From the moment I first left home to attend college, I began keeping a journal. I remember how terrified I was that someone would find it and punish me for saying whatever was in it. I sometimes used code and other times embellished to hide the truth, especially the emotional pain I was revealing.

But over time, many years, in fact, I grew more able to detect and write about the truth. I discovered especially how painful my childhood had been at nearly every turn and how disturbed my family life had been. I received some counseling and studied up on mental illness.

I'm now 52 and it has been a long road to recovery from pathological lying. I still find myself exaggerating a little in stressful situations. When I realize this, I go home and write out the truth as nearly as I can. I'm determined that nothing in my journal, at least, shall ever be anything but the truth as best as I can tell it. This, and a loving, supportive husband, have enabled me to achieve good mental health.

Compulsive lying can be infuriating in others but I think there is often fear, loss and pain behind those lies.

to ANON3729 , Is it possible your wife has a gambling or shopping problem ? Lies to cover up doesn't mean she is pathological.

Addicts are master manipulators and liars . I think they are actually easier to treat than pathological. Good luck.

To those who admit they are pathological liars: What happens when friends and family decide you are more trouble than you're worth and cut you off ? Does that make you want to get help or just find new friends ? I guess I want to know is the payoff the short time you have someone's attention while telling the lie worth the fallout later ?

Most of the people who are liars come from homes where Violence at an early age occurs. It becomes a coping mechanism. When you have your self esteem, or feel unloved by your parents, you act out in ways that you think will endear you to other people. To be interesting to other people when your family is distant, removed or abusive.

You can break the cycle, but it's a minute to minute, day to day effort that will take you years to get over. For the parents on this site who are complaining about their kids, you should probably take a look at what you're doing or how you're acting towards your children.

For the Adults on this site who have their own problems, know that lying is a conscious decision. It truly is, and to stop, you merely need to be honest with yourself about your issues, and grow up.

Not everyone in the world is going to like you, let alone love you. It's a hard fact that pathological liars never learn. It comes from having family that does not love or like them. I would know, I grew up in that environment, and know first hand what it's like to have to make up stories to explain away marks, bruises and the like. It then spreads to other things, where your self worth and self-esteem is concerned.

You desperately crave acceptance because you never had it before. Especially in peer situations. You have no idea what kind of damage unavailable parents can do. People say it's genetic, it's not. You could have a head full of white matter and never have a problem with lying. It's nearly purely environmental as your brain adapts and changes per your environment.

You want to stop your kids from lying? Try being a real parent that doesn't explode, or freak out over every little thing. Try being available to your kids, and actually act like you want to be around them. That more than any thing else will help.

I keep reading that pathological lying is lies that serve no purpose other than to impress or gain sympathy.

I had a friend that moved to LA and every time I would mention a celebrity - she not only met him but he flirted with her or asked her out but she of course wasn't interested and turned them down.

She was John Rzeznick's "girlfriend" for years but I never got a photo of them. All her photos were on her computer when it crashed. Paparazzi photos would show the singer from the Goo Goo Dolls with another woman and when brought up she said that other woman was his ex but she threatened to slash her wrists if he didn't take her to such and such event.

I'd write her just use your cell phone camera, oh ok but never sent anything of course and just pretend like that conversation never happened. The celebrity stories go on and on and on.

She was invited to party at so and so house, had dinner with this one, that one. I started throwing out names and for each one she has a story. It is so sad to have such low self esteem that you have to invent someone else to be.

I hope she gets professional help but has to admit to the problem first which I doubt will happen.

I think my husband of 35 years is a pathological liar. The first twenty years were actually pretty good. There were only a couple of scrapes that he did. He went out forged my name (he's done a lot of that) and got a loan for 8,000. He never told me why. I wound up paying that off by going to work full time sales and putting my every dollar to the debt. After that there were smaller things but it seemed like whenever he couldn't make a decision trouble would follow. He claims that he only procrastinates and everybody does.

I am disabled and I am pretty sure the lack of wellness in my life is attributed to stress. He refuses to help me in any way. The first years he wouldn't even believe I was sick.

I guess the reason I didn't see it earlier, is that I did suspect, but I was young, uneducated with three little children,(married 18) so I made a choice that at least he was a good father. (Now after him revealing that our whole lives was a sham, that is debatable) And at least he could provide for us. But over the years his "mistakes" just kept getting bigger. I receive disability but use every penny each month on my required health needs. He'd choose to think that I don't need a thing. I have asked in 32 different ways. He usually doesn't tell me no, he may even suggest something, but then he will just refuse to follow through. From the biggest to the smallest he simply does not consider me. I don't know if you can tell what a profound statement that is. I tried to give up most everything when I got sick, determined not to burden anyone. If per chance I didn't have a chance to give it up, he found a way to take it. I don't think I've ever met anyone with this level of arrogance. His every comment to me is snide and he cusses me under his breath just below hearing level.

A few years ago, I was told I would not live much past six months. The man never flinched. Stone cold. He's never mentioned it since except to say "doctors don't know anything." Surely he must wonder what kind of horrible disease would cause that? Nope, not interested.

I do not see anyone. Period. Okay, I see one doctor per month. The UPS many doesn't even stop anymore, just drops the package and runs.

Just like this article I could see him. He freely admits to his faults, but so what? I cannot finish a sentence without him scrambling to find something to lay on me. This is where I don't know if others are similar. When I catch him at a lie, I am usually shocked because the subject of the lie is such that it wasn't necessary. It's not like he robbed a bank. It usually does have to do with finances. His words "I've never had to budget in my whole life, I'm not about to start now." But if you asked him he could manage this blessing considering most people do try to manage their finances, he will hedge and shuffle and will eventually admit that I was always called upon to bail him out when he found himself against a wall...I didn't expect "gratitude" per say, but I did expect for efforts to try and have a good marriage. The optimal word here is try. He admits that he doesn't try, he doesn't want to try and he doesn't have to try. Period.

Why am I still here if I am subjected to this "poor treatment" on a regular basis? Many reasons, one being that I do love him, as I remember the way he was when we married. Most of the things that he does are so bizarre and make no sense whatsoever, that I have a hard time accepting what I'm facing. I remember once a doctor asked to see me alone. She told me that she had the opportunity to speak with my husband earlier and she wanted to tell me that if I didn't get out now, he would wind up killing me."

I smiled and told her that we had just recently gotten back together after he had abandoned me earlier and that we were praying together and I was sure that prayer would be the answer.

I have never been someone who dwelled on the past,

"If the offending act happened before today, then it was in the past and I should just let the past go."

I am the spouse, if I am to never be given any consideration, that he doesn't even try to make his excuses relevant.

Let us say they came to shut the water off because of no payment. He get home and I tell him what happened. I'm somewhat upset but am restrained. But he lashes out. " They can't do that because they haven't sent me a third notice yet and they have to do that." I said, "the bill is due when you get the first notice." He angrily disagrees that his bill is due after they've threatened him three times.

It just doesn't make sense.

Oh, if he doesn't receive a W2 in the mail at the end of the year. He doesn't believe he owes taxes. Because I get social security I only get the total at the end of the year. During other discussion he had told me that he was filing taxes like he had aways done. I wrongly assumed that meant he was filing married. Wrong. He considered that he would file married but not claim my income because he didn't have it in hand.

But the time the IRS got through with the penalties, I can't even begin to describe.

He will swear he not lying. Up and down the flag pole he will stop at nothing to make sure I know that he is not lying. This declaration usually preceeds me finding out about another lie. I believe that I became ill because of the consistent torture over the years of always not knowing when the next shoe would drop. I kept it secret for so long because I wanted my kids to have a father's love.

He abandoned his mother and siblings when he was just over 30 years old. He never explained to them why. I don't even know. He abandoned me in another city and moved back home. while I was selling the home, he refused to get a phone put in the apt. he had most of his mail got to a forwarding box. That was how it was so hard to learn about hot checks etc.

I am so very ill. I do not know how I've been able to hold on this long. My blood work is so riddled with abnormal ranges how do you know what to battle first. I have asked very very little from this man. I knew that he deserved to receive the same treatment he had been shoveling out. He has forged my name numerous times, taken without my knowledge, thousands of dollars out of my account that he makes me pay for my needs with. If I need a certain soap or toothpaste, yep, better not ask. But I realized that I was going to die pretty soon, and I didn't want to have that on my heart. He refused to help me find doctors, he could not even put compartmentalized vitamins in a cup in the morning. If one pill ran out, he'd just put two more of another kind in the cup. I had a list for him to go by.

I'm really not sure if he is truly as stupid as he acts. You know what I feel he knows exactly what he is doing. He criticizes my every breath, not with constructive ideas, but with nit picking, irrelevant & ridiculously unimportant ways. He has done so many things. I've considered forgiveness, but you know what, He doesn't think he needs to ask.

If you want to quit lying you will have to use the old faithful...NOT lying. Make it your personal policy never to lie. If you are asked a question, you have the right to refuse to answer. You have the right to your own personal privacy, and your own ownerships. If you are lying, you should consider that maybe deep down you feel forced to answer. And to you, lying is like ripping off the information thief. As well, if you are finding honesty is looking like it'd show a better yield -- that is, you stand to gain if you are honest -- then your life is very, very heavenly-well set up, and you should confront the fear that its tenuous foundation will collapse if you use an honesty strategy. It may, though, if your basic striving is to find out if honesty is only a strategy. Wouldn't that be dishonest? Well, it's the one allowable dishonesty. Steering straight makes for good driving. That's a type of honesty. It's only a type of dishonesty if you are disallowing other types of steering in your definition. Honesty for honesty's sake is honesty for gain. In the Bible, Jesus (supposedly) says: "Anything you might profit from me". That means that if (it ain't the commandment breakers is automatically built in, I think) you go by the truth, and you profit, you can keep it. Such as "an honest living". Of course there are always issues to be addressed, and of course, hopefully it rains on your food seeds anyways, but if you pull the weeds so you can eat your vegetables, your living is an honest one. Sure a few bugs are out some weeds, but there's other bugs (or maybe the same ones) willing to live in the weed pile you made because you wanted to eat the vegetables, not just watch them choke out and not be there. Most of life is like this, especially life for living. You don't have to have the big mystery key answer -- try to have a sense of humour about being a liar, too. Maybe you can use some of that creative energy to write stories or comedy. I know I could sure use a laugh. As well, you will find knowledge unfolds for you, because the difference between not only your own self lying but lying and untruth in general, becomes stark, against truth. You will find you can figure out all kinds of interesting facts and knowledge, which may impress your mate or get you a raise. Good luck quitting, too, because lying is also a safety issue.

One more thing,

He has the nerve to say he don't know you I don't trust him.....

How do you trust a pathological liar?

You can't.....

I live with a pathological liar, and let me tell you, he is making me feel like I am going crazy cuz of all the stuff he pulls..He seems to lie about the smallest things, or hides financial issues from me, as in getting credit cards...He has made it to the point of me feeling like I am the one with issues. I finally broke last night, told him he needs help, and I am giving him one more chance or I am gone. I should of seen it from the beginning, maybe I have just been avoiding it for 15 yrs.

Sometimes, I think I should just leave. We have 2 teenage girls, and I really don't want them to be like their father. This is ruining our marriage. I love him, he is all I have known my adult life, I just want him to treat me equal, and stop lying and doing things behind my back.

I have been married for 15 years, and my husband is doing the same as above for the most part except leaving for days on end. I now feel as if I am the one crazy, he makes me feel as if I am..2x now he has gotten credit cards without talking to me, and then lying in my face about it...It makes me so insecure, and I actually feel crazy. He lies about everything, you name it he has 10 different lies for it. The smallest to money issues..I'm disabled, trying to get SSI, Im about ready to leave him, becuz of the stress. I go in and outta of depression becuz of all the lies...

Does therapy really do any good for this?

If not I have got to leave.

to the mom of the 12 year old liar..."hate" is a strong word. maybe you need to look at your relationship with him to get to the root of why he feels that he needs to lie so much?

i hate my 12 year old son because of his problem with lying. any help here!

I'm a Pathological liar and i have no idea how to stop. any ideas?

I have caught my husband in so many lies....that I just don't believe he could ever tell me the truth anymore. Most revolve around Money as the poster above me mentioned. Secret loans, secret visas, "kiting" my checking account, going in as me on my online banking site and setting up automatic payments. It has cost us $1,000's of dollars we do not have!! Even in therapy under accountability the lies have not stopped. Then there was the shock of the "double-life". One a great family man taking his family to Church etc....the other a Porn addict visiting his sites or abandoning our family for days at a time and not knowing why. Then the truth came out. This was a 25 year relationship at this point! It is so discouraging being the partner of someone like this. The trust is gone in the relationship and all that is left is confusion, and strength to make the right choices for the future (not only mine but our children's)

I think I am a pathological liar. I lie constantly. I'm paranoid about everything. It's ruined my life. I'm in too deep and even if I wanted to stop I couldn't. Stupidity.

That's all.

Hi, I'm 17 and I find myself lying a lot. Before, it started out as little things here and there, but it got worse as I got older. I realize I'm doing it, but sometimes I do it without meaning to... I know its ruining my relationship with my girlfriend and I recognize my problem, but I don't know how to make it better. Please, please help me guys! What am I to do?

My husband's children are pathological liars. I had never heard of such until I met his kids. They lived with us for a VERY short while. We could NOT deal with the lies. Of course, the mother had warned my husband they were liars, which he says come from her and her mental illness. Being a very truthful person about everything, them living with us did not work at all.

I'm 17 and i used to date a girl for 4 months, but i broke it off after i started getting suspicions about lying. At first i found myself crying over how horrible her life was ie: she was the result of a rape, her "father" died of cancer and was taken off life support, she had been gang raped, she had heart conditions, she had stomach cancer and had 2 years to live, her grandmother died, her step father hit and molested her, her mother refused to drive her to the hospital, she was constantly puking up/coughing up blood and discussed suicided various times. I have lots of friends who could always rattle off her lies, and my friend who recently broke up with her talked to me about some of the things she told him and were pretty certain she is lying about everything. She always gets extremely angry and defensive when i question her stories. She's my really good friend but what can i do? Is there anything that can be done?

My son is 16 and lies about everything. I feel your pain. He also takes things that are seemingly small, like food or loose change and just lies about it. Yet, we find empty food containers under his mattress or empty pizza boxes under a couch. Recently, I had to work out of town for a month and my husband (my son's stepfather) could not cope with his lying anymore. I had my son stay with his biological father for the duration of my being out of town. I am home now and my son refused to come back home. I have recently found out that he has stolen his father's car in the middle of the night, not once but twice. My son does not have his driver's license or temps because I could not trust him with a car. Gee, if I can't trust him to not eat food he is not supposed to eat, how can I trust him with a vehicle? He has no regard for the law. We also lock our bedroom door but he has figured out how to break in using his YMCA card. He writes letters to his girlfriend telling he that he has recently lost aunts and uncles (and one that shot themself) just in hopes that she will give in to his wanting to have sex. No one has recently died in our family. He too is having a difficult time in school. My husband and I are at our wits' end. I really do not want to let him back into our home when the rest of us (4 other children)can finally take a breath. Do I have him hospitalized or simply go to counseling?

Any comments are appreciated.

I had a friend who always lies about everything and anything. She lied and said she graduated from college, she is a registered nurse, and even the hospitals that she claimed she worked at...all a lie. She lied and said she had gotten her own apartment and that was a lie. She just keeps lying, and at this point she should know that all her friends know she is lying but it doesn't stop her from lying. If I am talking to her every morning and every morning she is at home then of course common sense should tell her I know she does not have a daytime job, but she will lie to our mutual friend and say she was at work all morning. All I know is something is definitely wrong with her. I finally ended our friendship after she lied and told me she was still getting married, when I had found out a month ago that the wedding was off. I questioned her and everything and she still lied. (By the way, her dream wedding was called off because she kept lying to her fiance and he finally found out that she was a liar). After dealing with this for so many years I had to cut her out my life.

Are these lies signs of a pathological liar or do you think something else is wrong with her? Will she ever change?

I have a daughter who is 18 in college. Ever since she was little she had tendency to lie or create elaborate stories. Now at 18, she lies about her health to her friends and boyfriends..even to the point of telling people she has cancer and 6 months to live. How do I confront her? and what kind of liar - pathological or compulsive - is that?

My husband of 18 years says that i am a Pathological Liar. I do not lie intentionally, but it appears it has now overtaken my life, and has ruined both my husbands and daughters life due to all the arguments I have caused. I have felt for many many years that something was wrong with me, since I was a child, around 10/11 years old - I seemed different to other kids, withdrawn, shy 'in my shell', as teachers would say.

I was very interested to read that head injuries could play a part in my "condition". When I was a baby I fell head first onto a concrete supermarket floor. I was check out at my GP but no further investigations were made - although we are talking 1967!

I have contacted various doctors over the years telling them of my fears, but was either gave me anti-depressants, or suggested cognitive therapy, basically talk about my fears and problems.

I would be very interested in finding out how I could go about being tested somehow. If anybody could shed some light on how I could salvage my life I would be very much appreciated.

My wife lies to me constantly, we've had long emotional talks about trust in our relationship and she always swears the lying will stop. Soon enough I catch her in another lie. Just today I got a letter from the bank proving another lie. When I showed her said letter her eyes scanned it as if trying to make it disappear or as if she was willing it to turn to dust. This happens over and over and over. Sadly, money is a common denominator in her lies. I confronted her today with the proof in my hand, in a very calm and firm manner and she decided to throw everything back at me and somehow I ended up as the main villain in the story.

I was upset now I am concerned for her mental health. I cannot think of leaving because of our child.

i have the same problem with my husbands stepmother and i am worried about even leaving our young son with her alone because we cant trust that she is telling the truth about anything. are we being ridiculous to worry about the influence or safety of our 3 year old

Dear anonymous w/mother issues,

You don't state whether or not this is new behaviour but judging from your distress and your adult tone, I get the impression that this is a recent change.

Sounds like your mother is due for a check-up w/your family doctor. Many health problems could explain her behaviour and they need to be verified and treated, as the case may be. I don't want to offer any theories as that is properly a doctor's role, but please take this seriously.

Try to gently suggest that she make an appointment or do it for her. Express concern for her health, make it about you, that you care and worry about her and avoid mentioning or confronting the lying. Please mention it to her health practitioner however as that is the point of the exam.

Try to enlist the support of family members in bringing her to the doctor. If she has no insurance and little money, offer to pay for the visit. Keep in mind, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and best of luck with this situation.

Lately I have come to realize that my mother might be a pathological liar. She doesn't lie to keep things hidden from everyone or anything, it's just that, somehow she feels the need to lie about petty little things in everyday life, possibly to gain attention, or sympathy. She would feel the need to exaggerate a petty little matter, or even just a statement that someone has made, that would otherwise go unnoticed had she not lied about a part of it.

For example, the other day she said about me to someone else, "Oh she doesn't want to go to that restaurant because she thinks it's dirty there." But I had never even said that it's dirty there. All I said was that I didn't want to go, that was it. And it surprised me that she would say what is obviously a lie right in front of me too, as if I wouldn't say anything about it in my defense. Again, this is a petty little matter that I did not hang on to. But I feel that the situation is getting pretty serious. I had been away traveling for a whole month, and the other day, after I got back when we were sitting down for dinner with my family I realized that she had been lying/exaggerating to the rest of the family about a lot of things I had written to her in emails during my trip. What was even more outrageous was that she was also continuing to lie about the things I told her after I got back, right in front of me! I had to basically cut her off all the time to explain to everyone that no, it wasn't really like that. My grandmother is quite faint-hearted and it turns out that she was seriously worried for my safety all month as a result of the information my mother had been feeding her.

It's just things like this that have been adding up, and they have been worrying me. Would really appreciate some advice.

my son is 13 and lies about everything big and small. it can be did you take the garbage out and him saying he did when he didn't ( i think thats pretty typical of a 13 year old) to my leaving my debit card on the table and him using it on line and when questioned about it lying and crying saying he didn't do it when i know he did. he steals food and denies it. he is well fed. its not like hes starving, he takes stuff like soda, bananas, whole boxes of cookies, loaves of bread and syrup and just today a jar of smukers goober ( pb & j in a jar together). I have gone on long strikes of not buying any treats or locking anything that he might take in our room but this seems unfair to the rest of the family and my self. i love goober. ;-). he will lie to my face with no guilt. i don't know what to do any more. he takes money if left out and of course not tell me if he did it. cds video games all kinds of stuff. he is having a hard time at school. had to go to alc for 45 days, it goes on and on. what do i do? he has been on ritalin and atteral at seperate times and varies doses for years with no change, in fact its getting worse. any one with insight please let me know. thanks, tina.