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There are a few different ways to create funny answering machine messages, depending on your sense of humor and the amount of effort you want to put in. The easiest way to make a funny outgoing message is to find one on the Internet and transfer it to your machine. This may be accomplished by recording directly from your computer speakers to the answering machine microphone or through a direct digital transfer depending on the hardware you have to work with. If you want to record your own funny answering machine messages, you can still use ideas you find online and from other sources, or you can try to write your own material. Many funny answering machine messages are either unexpected or attempt to momentarily trick or mislead the caller in some way.
For many people, a simple outgoing answering machine message is sufficient. These messages often consist of little more than the name and phone number that was called, and an invitation to leave a message. Some people prefer to create some type of funny outgoing message instead, either for personal amusement or to brighten a caller's day. Since humor is subjective, not everyone will find the same messages funny. To create a funny outgoing message, you can either rely on your own sense of humor or try to guess what your friends, family or other callers might appreciate.
The easiest way to create a funny answering machine message is to locate one on the Internet. There are a number of sources of answering machine messages online, some of which are free and others that are not. After you find a funny message online, you will need to determine how to get it onto your answering machine. One way to perform this transfer is to simply place your computer speaker near your answering machine microphone and record it that way. If your answering machine has removable storage or is computer-based, it may also be possible to transfer the message directly.
Another way to create funny answering machine messages is to record them yourself. This can be accomplished by finding a funny idea online and then reading it into your answering machine, unless you prefer to come up with your own original idea. Common techniques are to present yourself as someone else to humorous effect, insinuate your caller has reached an appliance other than your answering machine, or to even start speaking as if you have actually answered the phone. Keep in mind that not everyone appreciates funny answering machine messages, and if you receive any business calls, an inappropriate outgoing message can cause you to appear unprofessional.
I don't mind getting the occasional funny message when I call someone, but there are times when all I want to do is get the beep, leave a message and move on. I'd say 30 seconds is about as long as it should take to create a funny bit. Some businesses leave "straight" outgoing messages that are just as long as funny messages.
I remember there used to be a popular commercial on television for an early answering machine message tape. It had old school rappers singing "Wait for the beep...wait for the beep. Leave your name, leave your number and Wait For The BEEP...". There was another message that used Beethoven's Fifth: "Nobody's home...nobody's home..."
When I was much younger, I found a telephone with an answering machine at a thrift store. It used cassette tapes to play the outgoing message and record incoming responses. I had about 30 seconds of tape on the outgoing cassette, so I started making up these short humorous messages. I used to write commercial spots for a local radio station, so I knew how to come up with original material.
I did things like celebrity impersonations and fake commercials. "Clint Eastwood" would say "I know what you're thinking. Did it ring six times or only five..." or I'd make a fake pitch for the TonkaMobile, a full-size car for less than $200. The best part was, you
pushed it yourself.
I changed these funny answering machine messages every week or so. That's when I realized the biggest problem with doing humorous outgoing messages. People started calling my number just to hear the newest production, not to talk to me. They'd be disappointed if I actually answered my own phone. I'd have to hang up and let them hear the message first. Other people complained that 30 seconds was too long to wait for the beep, and potential employers might not think it was so funny. I stopped doing those funny messages after a few months.
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