Becoming a stepfather can be one of the most challenging roles a man may ever face. It can also be one of the most rewarding, after some common obstacles are overcome. It is very rare for the male figure to simply assume the father figure role without any problems. To begin with, the relationship between the mother and man should be a committed one before the children are involved. Children can become attached to a person very quickly and can be easily be hurt if the relationship ends.

Sometimes the stepfather and children will bond easily, but in a lot of cases the incoming man can be seen as in intruder. It generally takes a lot of time to gain a child's trust. How the stepfather treats the child's mother will go a long way towards how the child perceives his character. The stepfather is the newcomer in the house and can be seen by the child as diverting the mother's attention. Once the child is aware that he or she is still receiving love attention from his or her mother, the stepfather may gain acceptance.

Appropriate boundaries for all parental figures should be set from the start. The stepfather should be made aware of how significant his role is to be with the children. If the child's biological father is already in their life, then the stepfather should be prepared to be under the scrutiny of the biological father. This new parental figure may be looking after their child for a significant amount of time. It is only natural that the biological father should be concerned to a degree.

The new stepfather should never try to compete with the biological father for the child's affections. If everyone follows the acceptable boundaries, the child will have more respect for the stepfather. This is especially true if the child is an adolescent. Trying to win favoritism will not be productive, as children are intuitive about sniffing out lies and insincerity.

Not everything will be easy for stepfathers. Children have temper tantrums, mood swings and are prone to taking out their anger on newcomers into the family. They will also test the stepfather's limits. Stepchildren are more than aware that they are not the stepfather's natural children. If the stepfather does have his own children, he should try to integrate the stepchildren into the family, and show them special attention. This can be a time when the children can see that there is no favoritism and each child is as important as the next.